All genres of suspense, terror, and horror will be reviewed by Richard Gary. His address to send preview copies supplied upon request to rbf55@msn.com.
A lot can be said in a film this short, especially under a skillfull
hand.Director and writer Rowan
Spiers-Floyd accomplishes this goal in just over 11 minutes and three key
actors. True, this is a student film (and an award-winning one at that), but it
shows a masterful eye on many levels.
Self-described as a “dark fairy tale,” the story takes place in the
period of the expansion of the West. We are presented with a mysterious tale of
greed, fear and cowardliness. In a
wilderness fort, two men go a-huntin’ for, well, pelts on a winter’s day. The
setting and effect of the film is enhanced by its locale, Fort Clatsop at the
Lewis and Clark National Historic Park, located in Astoria, Oregon.Seen in mostly medium shots, it has a nearly
claustrophobic feel, even though much of it was filmed outdoors. The lighting and
the mood is key, and Spiers-Floyd uses it to its utmost.Whether you find the story scary or not, it’s
shadowy and strange atmosphere is effective.
Davis, Newman and Eastwood
During their expedition, the two come across an animal carcass. When
Fredrick (Jeffree Newman) asks Rufus (Adam Elliot Davis) if he can keep the
pelt so he can afford to marry Rose (Jennifer Eastwood), the woman Rufus also
desires, well, it doesn’t go well for the requestor.Okay, let me digress here and posit that what
I am stating here is in the description, so I’m not being a “spoiler.”
This is where the film takes a turn for the strange.First Nations/Native American tales tell of
creatures in the woods called a skinwalker
(sometimes identified as a windigo),
who were known for being able to take on other appearances. The creature is
never named in the story, nor even explained, but that doesn’t matter; what is
important is the flow of events that follow.
Spiers-Floyd is certainly helped by his actors, who do not either
under- or overplay their roles despite the dramatic and supernatural
undertones.I also acknowledge and like
the double-entrendre of the title.
The film looks beautiful, with crisp shots thanks to Page Stephenson, and clean editing that seems to
take classic lengths of time rather than the staccato post-MTV method. It gives
you a chance to read and feel the subject’s emotions, without telling you what
you are supposed to get out of it.
I look forward to Spiers-Floyd’s output. If this is a beginning BFA (Bachelor of Fine Arts) project,
just think what he may be able to do with a budget and the
ability to work on something full-length.
The director, Keith J. Crocker, is well known
around the exploitation film scene. In his younger days, he used to publish the
fanzine Exploitation Journal, and I
still have a couple of copies. He knew his stuff, so it only makes sense for
him to direct a film. You might say it was inevitable.
Despite being shot in the early ‘90s,
he used grainy, past-expiration-date stock Super 8 film to give it that
appropriate ‘70s stock look, which works like a charm. Gathering friends and
family together, he made this movie. On the surface, this is a bit of a
skidmark; however, apparently my opinion on this has changed dramatically. But
let me continue.
Picking up where Roger Corman kinda-sorta left off with his Poe films, this is an – er – adaption of Poe’s Murders in the Rue Morgue, where a
sideshow barker releases an ape named Gorto to enact revenge on those who have
mistreated him. But rather than being attractred by the chimes of a charm
bracelet, this bloody ape is after supposedly exotic banana (or, in some cases,
banana scented soap!), given by said Sideshow Bob, or in this case Lampini (Paul Richici).
This shmendrickthe-not-so-magnificent
is fed up. He’s been cheated by car repair shops, ripped off by a rabbi, and
rejected by his girlfriend (Arlene Hanson, looking like she just stepped out of
The Sopranos). His boiling point
reached, his answer is a guy in a – well, decent gorilla suit for the almost
nil budget.
Shot in parts of Long Island near
Hempstead, the local accent is thick and heavy, making Joe Dellesandro sound cultured. When fellow LohnGylndeh
(Commack) Rosie O’Donnell was still doing stand-up, she once said that no one
would have taken Albert Einstein seriously if he had a New York accent. Well,
these characters are no Einstein, but her point is made valid here. As a
Bensonhurst boy, I can relate.
With one exception, there is no
character here that is likeable, such as: the garage mechanic, (Larry Koster,
who actually worked in the station in his scene) is a racist who hates everyone
and bullies his way through his job (Latinos, American-Americans, Jews, you
name it); the Rabbi tries to sell glass for diamonds – note that this is the
second film I have seen recently where the payas
was connected by a band over the head like rabbit ears – in a painfully
stereotypical anti-Semitic manner with a terribly fake Hassidic accent; and the
bigoted police officer, LoBianco (George Reis – who also plays Gorto most of
the time – wearing incredibly fake costume store facial hair), the lead officer
in charge of investigating the murders. convinced that when people are seeing
an ape, that it’s actually a black guy.
The film borrows from a lot of other
exploitation classics, such as 1968’s Night
of the Living Dead (for example, the black hero’s character is named Duane
Jones), 1969’s Night of the Bloody Apes,
and 1980’s Night of the Demon (thanks
to Horrorpedia for that last lead),
showing that Crocker knows his stuff. He’s sort of like Tarantino without the
filmmaking gene.
The gorilla rampage is a bit silly,
actually, murdering women by slashing with a knife, disemboweling, while naked
in the shower, or doin’ ‘em doggy style (most of those topless who are killed –
i.e., nearly every female – were local strippers). There are a few men ripped apart,
too. The gore is appropriately fake for the style they were going for, so it’s
effective, I guess. And did I mention the ape drives a car (taking it from
Crocker’s real-life then-fiancee) down a busy street without anyone noticing?
Yeah, this is a terrible film, and yet
so earnest. The dialog is dreadful, the acting mostly non-existant, and the
direction apeshit, but it is still amazing to watch in its dreadfulness. I’m
not sure if the nearly first half which is mostly talking and no ape presence
is more interesting for the WTF moments, or the second half that has lots of
ape and more WTF moments.
I was a bit disturbed by the xenophobic
anger by many of the characters and was turned off by that for a while, but
during the lengthy featurette of 2008 interviews with the (male) cast and crew,
and during the commentary, Crocker explains that the point of the nasty characters
is that everyone in the film is miscommunicating and lacks the skill to relate.
This actually makes sense to me, though he could be bullshittin’ about it.
There are plenty of extras thrown in,
such as a commentary by the three main hubs of the film (Crocker, Reis and
Richichi),the aforementioned featurette, a short and moody film by Crocker,
lots of artwork and stills, and a couple of Crocker trailers (including this
one).
Worth watching? That’s a tough one. If you
have the tolerance to sit through the first 15 minutes and it keeps your
interest, well, yeah. But if you’re used to mainstream cinema with no patience
for Outsider status, just keep
walkin’.
Blitzkrieg:
Escape from Stalag 69 – Special SS Edition
The death camp torture sub-genre has
been around since at least the ‘60s, be it taking place in South America, Soviet
Russia, or Nazi Germany. Some examples include SS Experiment Love Camp (1969), The
Big Doll House (1971), The Big Bird
Cage (1972), and Terminal Island
(1973). Even the majors got a bit involved with The Night Porter (1974), and to some extent, Paradise Road (1997). However, the 800 lb. gorilla of this genre is
the Ilsa series (Ilsa: She Wolf of the SS in 1975, Ilsa: Harem Keeper of the Oil Sheiks in 1976, Ilsa: The Wicked Warden [aka Greta
the Mad Butcher] in 1977, and Ilsa:
The Tigress of Siberia, also in ’77, all starring the lovely and bodacious
Dyanne Thorne as the titular character).
So for his second (and so far last)
full length feature, Keith Crocker bravely tackled this torture porn style. It
was a brave choice, no matter what the outcome. And how did he fare? Well, this
is no Spielberg, but then again, it’s not even early Romero. However, it is far
more advanced than his previous effort of a decade earlier, The Bloody Ape. Thankfully he uses a
better camera and in most cases, a better cast. Oh, and much more attractive
women than the literal Long Island strippers from the last film.
The basic premise of this sub-genre, in
a grossly generalized way, is that the (pick a nationality) in charge inflict
cruelty on prisoners, mostly women but not only, and at some point they revolt
and kill most of their abusers in escaping. Feel free to let me know if I’ve
missed anything there.
We meet Helmut Shultz (Charles Esser) hiding
in Argentina in 1955. After escaping from the Mossad, he goes to a catholic
church and confesses the sins of the past to a priest, played by The Bloody Ape’s lead, Paul Richici, unintentionally
funny due to a thick New York inflection. Actually, Esser’s German accent is
pretty amusing as well, as with most of the cast, to be fair).
In flashbacks we see that he was kommandant
of the titled Stalag, helped by his corpulent sidekick Wolfgang (Steve
Montague, who has appeared in other auteur films such as Bloody Christmas [reviewed
HERE]
and I Spill Your Guts, also filmed on Long Island [reviewed HERE], both in
2012),
and co-run with Helmut’s lustful redheaded sister (in an equally emotionally
immature Ilsa mode), Gordana Jenell, who strangely has a mild Eastern European accent (for the story; in real life, Jenell
was born in Montenegro). Perhaps Crocker was figuring his audience would assume
an accent is an accent? I rib rather than rub in.
Meanwhile, Helmut, an emotional
man-child mad doctor-wannabe, has been doing experiments and has created a hybrid
human/ape man – wait, didn’t the Nazis want to promote a superior race rather
than a lower, base one? – that we never see (except in the deleted clips). For
the time being, his co-ed camp gives lots of reasons for abuse of both genders.
Tatiyana Kot
The main hero of the story is Natasha,
played by the extremely lovely and often full monty’d Tatyana Kot (the actor
was born in Siberia!). She is a Russian freedom fighter who was captured after
shooting Nazis in the woods with a machine gun, while wearing only boots, and
is consequently tortured by those running the camp – and a visiting Japanese
soldier – before leading the required revolt.
During both the worthwhile commentary
and making of documentary/interviews,
Crocker clearly states that this film is not torture porn, but rather he is
trying to make the audience feel the visceral pain of the characters, be it the
rack, bamboo under fingernails, castration (two of them!), and the application
of what looks like a taser. I believe him and admire his conviction, but let’s face
the reality here. The audience that is going to be watching this kind of film
is not the Drop Dead Diva type, or
even Grey’s Anatomy. Rather, they are
out for a body count and not trying to save the whales, as it were. Mind you, I
remember Sam Peckinpah (d. 1984) saying the same
thing about his films, but what do you think of when you watch The Wild Bunch (1969)? Exactly. I am
certainly not denigrating Crocker or his creed in any kind of way, as I truly
feel what he believes, but I also know the demographics.
Another thing Crocker states, which I
admire, is that he actually does manage to use these horrific actions as a platform
to showcase the abuses of both the Nazi and Stalinist eras as a reminder of those
regimes. There are lots of anachronistic moments that one needs to get through,
some of which addressed in the commentary, which I thought was brave, but the
point about the those time periods is presented with just a shade of lecturing,
similarly to the way Romero did about consumerism in Dawn of the Dead (1979).
As with Crocker’s previous release,
this one was filmed on Long Island, in both the counties of Suffolk and the
western Nassau locale of Smithtown. Thanks to the area’s war reenactment groups,
the cast is flushed out with soldiers in real uniforms, and there are lots of authentic
WWII memorabilia floating around (though I wonder about some of the reversed swastikas).
Shooting the film guerilla-style on the grounds of a closed asylum helps give
the right feel of desolation needed for the story.
Again, there are a lot of extras
included here, including commentary with Crocker, Kot, and others, a making of cleverly titled “Nazis Over
Nassau,” the original short that Crocker made that inspired this full-length
release titled “Schindler’s Lust,” stills, outtakes, trailers, and more.
If I had one real complaint about this
film is that it is too long, at over two hours. From what I understand, it is
already significantly cut from its pre-edit stage, but there is definitely more
that could have gone, including the rest of the mostly-excised ape-man subplot,
the whole bit with the mustached, hippie-like guard that wants to send a
complaint to the higher-ups about the abuses, and quite a few Tarantino-eqse
dialogs that went on way too long.
I’ve seen quite a bit of these type
genre films (such as those listed at the beginning), and truthfully, it’s not
one of my favorite styles – I’m more into straight horror than the human monster – but all things
considered, this one is effective and gets the job done with a touch of humor,
empathy and better cast and effects. If you like this stuff, I would happily
offer this up and a choice.
The
trailer from The Bloody Ape was taken down from YouTube; you can
find it HERE.
Directed by Lance
McDaniel Lost Empire
Films Oklahoma City
University Productions (OCU) 88 minutes, 2009 / 2012 / 2013 www.lostempirefilms.com www.MVDvisual.com
The DVD cover states: From the Director
of Children of the Corn. I’m not sure
that’s something that would necessarily draw me in, having seen that film. And
yet, throughout this film’s credits, I see no mentioning of any director of the
permutations of CotC associated with
this film. But anyway…
I am going to take a stab here (pun
intended) and make an assumption with no ego on whether I am right or wrong:
this film is made by Oklahoma City University Productions, nearly all of it
shot on the campus of Oklahoma City University, and some cast members were
attending the Oklahoma City University at the time, so my guess is that this is
a student project, possibly for a degree. Hey, that’s the way the likes of Coppola
and Scorsese started. But then again, OCU is no NYU.
There are some fine moments here, such
as when the protagonist’s actions mirror almost exactly that of the first
victim (I’m not giving away anything really). There are also a few clever shots
here and there. All in all, though, this felt very much like a Lifetime Movie
of the Week with bloodlust.
It
actually took me about 10 minutes after the opening credits to narrow the field
of possible suspects down to two or three, and I had it nailed within half an
hour. Now, mind you, I watch a bit of mystery shows on TV and usually get it
pretty quick. While there are some imaginative bits throughout, story-wise this
is a pretty standard thriller with about as much blood as there is in an
average CSI, but less gore than that program.
During the prologue, which takes place in
the ‘90s (aka 15 years before the rest of the film), a coed named Heather is brutally
stabbed to death on the steps of her dorm after being manhandled by a couple of
jerk jocks, She’s white and her boyfriend is not, so naturally he gets the
blame, but is let off for lack of evidence. Again, this is the opening scene,
so I’m not giving anything salient away. Flash forward to the present (or
approximately 2008), and we are joined in a university class that specializes
in unsolved crimes (do I need to say what school?). Our central characters,
Amanda and her boyfriend Nick, manage to get the cold case of, well, Heather,
surprise-surprise. From there things get tricky and dangerous, with a decent
body count in the long run.
Most of the acting in this film is about
high school level. The line readings are either too flat or overly
effervescent. Well, in most cases, such as with Josh Shideler, who plays Nick.
True, his character is totally unlikeable as a pretty-boy hothead jock, but it’s
more the stilted way he reads the dialog that is troublesome for me. And,
again, this could be totally wrong, and I apologize if that is so, he really
sets off my gaydar.
Jane Bunting
A shining light, however, is Jane Bunting, who
plays Amanda. I want to say to her, however, “who does your hair? Find someone
else!” Jane has a very cute pouty lip and a mousey/nerdy appeal, but more
importantly, she comes across as someone who can actually act, thankfully. There
are lots of moments where she could have just gone off the scale, but she
reigns it in at the right ticks, and is just the appropriate shade of
expressive at high drama situations (e.g., the mandatory chase-and-hide).
What
I found kind of interesting, and I’m not sure if it’s my overly-sensitive
filter, but there is a certain level of misogyny (the jealous ex-girlfriend,
for example) and racist undercurrent, such as stereotypical patterns (“Yo,
girl!” and eye-rolling). Now, to be fair, some of the strongest characters are
African-American, and there is even an interracial element, but within that
framework there are still a few “oy” moments.
There are other questions I have that
need explaining (why doesn’t she take off the wig, for example…see, I’m being
vague not to give up too much), and the occasional chase clichés are definitely
present. Despite all of this – and I know it’s a lot – this wasn’t a bad film, and it kept me interested
throughout, even though I said “Really?” more than once. Again, it is Lifetime
meets CSI, and I’m not sorry I saw
it. It was entertaining on some levels, and that makes a nice evening.
The original comedy-horror ThanksKilling (2009) grows on you, if you are inclined to extreme
low-budget horror, like me. You might even find yourself using its catch
phrase, “Gobble-gobble, motherfucker!” Its premise was that a killer talking/cursing
turkey named Turkie was conjured by some angry Native Americans to kill the
Pilgrims, and then resurrected by some 30-year-old high school students to
raise havoc in modern times [reviewed
HERE].
This Part 3 is “the
first movie to skip its own sequel,” according to the DVD cover and publicity.
Well, that’s only partly true. Perhaps this is confusing and out of context, but in
this one, which is totally different in tone and plot, starts with a sci-fi scene
from the DVD ThanksKilling 2
(brilliant catch phrase: “In space, no one can hear you baste”). We then learn
that all copies of that second film have been burned, sans one.
We are then re-introduced to Turkie, who is now living a
suburban life with a turkey hen wife (with curlers in her comb!) and little tom. Of
course, all of them are puppets, as Turkie was in the first (and razed second) film. When he
learns about the destruction of the first sequel he knows he must set off to
fetch the one copy to be able to control the world (che?).
Before I go on, I should state at this point that many of
the characters in this film are puppets (unlike the first where it was only
Turkie), including human and galactic characters. Sure this isn’t the first
puppet horror/fantasy piece of cinema, such as The Dark Crystal (1982), Meet
the Feebles (1989), or even the more recent Monster Puppet Massacre (2010; reviewed
HERE), but it plays well into the genre. Besides, it’s that many less actors to
pay and/or feed on a small budget.
But the plot is only starting. We still have to meet all
the other main characters, such as a hippie-type little girl being from another
planet named Yomi (a puppet who looks like an escapee from Fraggle Rock) who is literally looking for her mind, Uncle Donny
(Daniel Usaj), who created an infomercial product, dreams of opening his own
amusement center called, what else, ThanksgivingLand, and wears a white British
wig (as opposed to Whig, I suppose). His brother, Jefferson (Joe Hartzler, who
is arguably the most natural actor of the bunch) also wears a wig and wants a
long pike (rather than a butter knife taped to a stick) so he can be security
at the Park. Their wheelchair-bound granny (a life-sized puppet that looks like
the anti-Israel Helen Thomas [d. 2013], who was a former and long-time member of
the White House Press Corps) is a foul-mouthed rapper named Flowis. Then there
is the robot guardian named Muff and his mustached bisexual puppet worm that
sits on his shoulder (and is actually in charge of the two) named Rhonda, who
makes bad worm puns. Plus there is a wizened and wise old turkey that’s a
mixture of Obi Wan and Gandalf.
Much like The Lord of the Ring, the film consists
of the search – or actually the possession – of the fictional second part of
the film. There’s lots of elements of gore and horror, as well as light
fantasy, dark fantasy, sci-fi, and a substantial amount comedy, most of it groaners. There
will be loss and there will be redemption, but at what cost? C’mon, no one
cares, because this is actually a joy ride where we expect more candy than
tofu.
Does it deliver? Well, I do
admit I liked the more down to earth original better, which is saying something
since that one cost $3500, and this one was $100,000 raised through a Kickstarter
campaign. I have to posit that part of me wishes this was a totally different
film than a Turkie one, but I also understand that building on an existing fan
base is important when starting out.
Technically, it really is a
much better film. The sets are better designed, the lighting and editing
sharper, and Turkie looks more menacing. There are plenty of WTF moments, such
as when you see from a fly’s point of view, or sudden cartoons popping up, as
with the first one, but it feels like there’s something missing. Don’t get me
wrong, I do recommend this and especially the original if this kind of broad
and raucous film is your speed, It’s just a bit too, I don’t know, linearly challenged.
There is too much going on, perhaps. In the first, even though it was bizarre,
the story of a turkey killing kids had a strong thread (including when someone
didn’t recognize that Turkie was not her father because he was wearing the dad's hat
and a Groucho mask). Now there are shorter and esoteric set pieces rather than a
punsters dream.
Oh, there is still puns
abound, that’s for certain. In fact, built into the viewing is a drinking game,
where you are suggested to have a shot or a drink of beer when certain events
happen, such as Turkie’s one liners, Rhonda’s worm word games, or when Flowis
sniffs her fingers.
There are lots of extras,
such as two commentary tracks by the two creators of the series (one on
planning that is interesting in parts, and one on the more technical aspects of
the creation of sets, puppets, lighting, and staging which was a bit more
interesting. I would have liked a third that talked about the story more. Other
extras include the full length infomercial that we see in the film, a Flowis
rap video called “Sprinkle of Wrinkle,” a stills gallery, the rules of the
drinking game, a long making-off documentary which is essentially the building
of the miniaturized set of Turkie’s home at the opening, and two of the film’s
trailers.
I would especially
recommend this to those who have seen part one, but honestly, I am going to make
an assumption that most of who will watch this already have. So enjoy, and if
you’re impressed, watch out for the new Kickstarter campaign that’s bound to
crop up.
Am I a bit tetched
in the haid because I enjoy films
directed by Dustin Mills [HERE,
HERE,
and HERE]?
They tend to be cartoony, about goofy
characters doing absolutely ridiculous things, with lots of unrealistic gore,
but from beginning to end, they tend to be an enjoyable ride through the land
of giving up a level of disbelief.
The plot revolves around a junkie named Ritchie (Mills’ stalwart
actor / muse / partner Brandon Salkil) who becomes addicted to “military
grade” bath salts, which is explained to be a designer drug that looks like
bath salts, hence the name. I’m sure this also has relative relevance to an
apparent new real trend of getting “high” by inhaling Epsom salts (how stupid and
desperate is that?; as moronic as swallowing a dry teaspoon of cinnamon,
another new trend…but I digress…)
However, this particular “bath salt” is extremely addicting
(once is enough), and has a propensity to make its user not just hyper, but insane,
stronger, feel no pain, and, of course, hungry for human flesh to be ripped by
teeth or hands.
The government, who is on to this situation, shown in
total by Josh Eal (who also co-starred with Salkil in 2012’s Zombie A-Hole), playing a G-man agent.
Eal is great in a straight-man, “serious” as-is-possible character role here. He
almost always has his sunglasses on, even while in a major fight and getting
punched in the face. Again, suspension of disbelief is called for in buckets,
but worth it. He plays his personality pretty flat, but in a good way, kind of
like Eastwood or Bronson (d. 2003), rather than the blandness of Steven Segal
or van Damme. Being just shy of a black belt when this was filmed (he has since
achieved it, if I understood correctly), he choreographed the fight scenes,
which often involved him and Salkil and Salkil and Salkil, etc. (will explain
shortly).
Of course, as Ritchie’s use progresses, so do the effects
of the drug, until his overdose turns him into a raving and deformed maniac
(see the cover artwork). Now, let me talk about Salkil a minute here, as he has
the most screen time, in many different ways. In a previous review, I mentioned
how much he reminds me of Bruce Campbell in his role as Ash Williams (if you
need to ask who that is, you probably need to see more horror cinema). In this
film, he brings to mind more of a Jim Carrey vibe, with the rubbery way he
moves his body and face. Also, as in Zombie
A-hole (2012), in a way he plays twin characters. There is the everyday,
pathetic-yet-sympathetic junkie, and then there is charged up Ritchie, the bath
salt “zombie” (of course, technically, he’s not a zombie, but rather just a
live flesh-eater… we need a new term for a living flesh foodie, such as in 28 Days Later… but I digress again). He
apparently finds it pretty fluid to go from straight, to manic, to maniac, and
it works. I can see him on a hit sit-com at some point.
Amusingly, with one exception, every masked character is embodied
by Salkil, including all of both the drug gang and the SWAT team. Ya gotta love
being able to overlay images; it gives me an ache when I think of what
Cronenberg had to go through just to get two Jeremy Irons in 1988’s Dead Ringers. In one scene, Salkil kills
a bunch of himself in the form of the SWATers.
Playing Ritchie’s girlfriend Rita, much as she did in Night of the Tentacles (2013), is Jackie
McGowan, a tattooed and pierced everygirl (meant complimentary), albeit a
junkie. She is both fierce and kinda brittle, and plays that well as it seems
to be her specialty in Mills’ releases. Also joining in as Ritchie and Rita’s
friend is Mr. (Dave) Parka, who is better known for his video review vlogs
[HERE].
Through the connections of the producer, Clint Weiler,
there is a killer soundtrack with nationally known punk acts like the Murder
Junkies (sans GG Allin, of course), the Dwarves, Antiseen, the Meatmen and the
Gaggers.
One aspect of Mills I truly enjoy as a filmmaker is that
he runs the gamut to simple cheezy puppets, to some highly stylized visuals.
With each progressive film, and he is quite prolific, his technical ability
improves. I hope he doesn’t lose much of the kitsch factor the way some have, like
Cronenberg and Craven.
When you watch this, you may just say, hunh, lemme see
this again with my buddies. Not exactly a date movie (unless you’re with the
coolest girl in the world who loves these kinds of films!), but definitely a
safer high than, well, bath salts.
