Friday, September 30, 2022

Documentary Review: Pennywise: The Story of IT

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2022
Images from the Internet

Pennywise: The Story of IT
Directed by John Campopiano and Chris Griffiths
Dead Mouse Productions; Fuzz on the Lens Productions; Kaleidoscope Entertainment; Cult Screenings UK LTD
126 minutes, 2022
www.facebook.com/pennywisedoc

If you have ever been on any of the main horror groups on Facebook, you will know there is practically a rivalry between the fans of the original 1990 version of IT and the 2017 remake, with Tim Curry and Bill Skarsgård playing the role of Pennywise the intergalactic killer clown, respectively.

Well, there is no need to fight here, as this two-hour documentary focuses only on the original, 1990 two-part mini-series. Personally, I read the book, which pissed me off at the time (two many digressions, which is why I like King’s short story collections best) and saw the series on television when it originally aired. Again, I was unsatisfied with the ending: it seemed anti-climactic.

With an extremely large cast of the film’s writers (including Stephen King in both new and archival footage), directors, actors, etc., the film is wisely broken down into chapters to envelope the many sides of the production. Even the first one, about the of taking the book to screenplay to airing sounds like it should be cut and dry, but they manage to keep it incredibly interesting.

The second chapter discusses the cultural effects of the killer clown psychology that permeated the very fabric of not only the arts, but life itself. Brought up are how clowns can be scary, and how King made that more so, leading to the likes of clowns cropping up on sideroads to scare drivers, increasing the fame of serial killer John Wayne Gacy, films of real clown from circuses, and even Sid Haig’s (d. 2019) Captain Spaulding from House of 1000 Corpses (2003). This is, of course, followed by how they filled the role with Tim Curry.

Each chapter is like a deep footprint, filled with information, leading the way to and through the production. Both directors of this release have a history with horror documentaries, be it for Fright Night (1985) or Pet Sematary (1989), so they know how to build the story around and about the story.

The chapters are also inconsistent in length, which is a good thing. Rather than trying to push it to be longer or shorter, they let the narrative dictate timing. For example, the bit about filming in Vancouver is short and sweet, showing pictures of buildings then and now. For another one about casting the Losers Club, both kids and adults – and their similar features and working out their mannerisms – is quite long (and rightfully so); there is a nice mixture of archival and present interviews with the cast, especially since so many of them (the adults anyway) were so well known in the television world. Obviously, not all could be present as they have passed on, such as John Ritter (d. 2003), Harry Anderson (d. 2018), and Jonathan Brandis (d. 2003 at age 27). It was nice to see the likes of Richard Thomas, “Mod Squad’s” Michael Cole, “WKRP in Cincinnati’s” Tim Reid and Richard Masur (whose voice I will always hear in my head saying, “I don’t know, but it’s weird and pissed off” from 1982’s classic The Thing), but sorely missed Annette O’Toole, who does not appear in interview from the present (perhaps she was performing with her lucky hubby and songwriting partner, Michael McKean).

While there are a few other chapters, the last two are pretty obvious. The first is about the ending of the film, and apparently many of the crew felt as ambivalent as I did, which honestly surprised me. As Tommy Lee Wallace, director of the mini-series, states, “We had champagne ideas and a beer budget.” However, and smartly so, they hold no punches and give great detail about the final creature, whose face always reminded me of the end of The Fly (1986).

The last is the legacy of the mini-series, which I believe was short shrifted here. It had an enormous impact on so many, right into the modern day, setting off fierce machinations between the fans of the original and the remake (which is totally unmentioned here, even in the Legacy chapter, which surprised me; probably could not get the rights). It is important to remember that the SFX technicalities between the time differences is key. For me, both were equal, but the first was limited in what they could show because it was pre-cable being everywhere broadcast television, and the other was in the more accepting cinemas.

The editing in the documentary is worth noting because it is put together so well, there is no need for an overall narrator, the cast tells the story in a cohesive, nearly narrative way. The is a nice mix of archival backstage images that are both still frames and filmed (my favorite shot is of Tim Curry hanging on a light post, with a camera and microphone just inches from his face, and yet keeping his composure), and modern footage of the cast being “talking head” interviewed. Comparing the way the kids look now (they still seem so young to me, though they are now about the same age as I was when the film was originally aired), especially Emily Perkins who portrayed the young Bev (and would later play another iconic role as Bridgette in 2000’s Ginger Snaps).

For a documentary that is over two hours in length, I must say that it kept my attention all the way through, and that is saying a lot of positivity about the film. Whichever version of IT strikes your fancy, this will be worth the watch.

IMDB listing HERE

Sunday, September 25, 2022

Review: Death Count

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2022
Images from the Internet

Death Count (aka Numbers)
Directed by Michael Su
Mahal Empire; Blaen-Y-Maes Bootleg Films; Mezek Films; Gravitas Ventures
81 minutes, 2022
www.facebook.com/deathcountmovie

I love when old tropes are used, and with some imagination thrown in, making it something worth watching, even when it feels so familiar yet puts new skin on it.

In this case, it’s a mash-up of strangers who wake up in a cell and have to compete to be the last person standing. Or, at least, living. They are put through a series of trials and devices, such as in the Saw franchise (2004-Present as of this writing), Cube (1997), and Funhouse (2019). And like the latter, the Internet plays a part.

But I am getting ahead of myself here…

Eight people wake up in separate, dingy cells. They are assigned numbers like on “The Prisoner” (1967) rather than names by the mysterious and partially masked Warden (Costas Mandylor, who was in some Saw flicks). They are (and if you are not interested be warned I am about to list them all with those who played them, if you want to skip this paragraph): #1 (Denny Nolan), #2 (Wesley Cannon), #3 (Sarah French, who has been in the likes of 2012’s Dropping Evil, 2015’s BiteSchool, and 2015’s Insectula!), #4 (BJ Mezek; also the Executive Producer), #5 (Delvanny Pinn, in 2012’s classic Where the Dead Go to Die), #6 (Robert LaSardo, who you will definitely recognized, between his goatee and his tattoos; I’m a fan), #7 (Kimberly Lynn Cole), and finally #8 (Dave Shecter)

Sarah French

While the prisoners are dying, they are vying for online “likes.” In other words, as long as you are popular and do not disobey the Warden’s rules, you may have a chance. Fortunately, right off the bat, some refuse to comply, leading to some quick, violence, and enjoyable deaths. As with Saw, each are assigned to do some self body harm or be “eliminated” (e.g., have their head blown off by implanted explosives in their necks). This is straight out of the Saw playbook, on a cruder level, as the devices here are less elaborate. Both Saw and Hostel (2005) are referenced within the film’s context by newscasters.

Costas Mandylor

Because the whole thing is online live to gather the likes, everyone can see it (but not trace it), so naturally the cops are on it, led by Detective Casey (how-the-mighty-have-fallen Michael Madsen, who has lately been playing the indie horror route). Madsen looks like he is floating through the role, which actually does not surprise me considering his career projectory. This is probably for the bucks, which I do not blame him. That said, his voice is incredibly gravelly like he is gargling with rocks, he moves incredibly stiffly like he is in actual pain, and he has a cut over his eye that looks real and is unexplained, possibly from a non-acting incident. The police are having trouble taking it seriously at first, but that’s bound to change.

So, a question I have is that I wonder how the Warden can not only afford to build the series of cells, but the technology involved with the communication system and devices. That question also goes out to Jaw’s Jigsaw (but perhaps the latter was answered and I missed it). Or maybe I should just drop it and enjoy it for what it is.

Michael Madsen

One of the brilliance of this film is that it is perfect for being recorded during a Covid outbreak. Here are a group of people in separate cells who, except in rare cases, are never seen together, so they are naturally isolated while the characters are in their cells. That would make this a patchwork like a jigsaw (no pun intended) that was craftily put together, piece-by-piece. Creativity during stressful times and making it work is smart. Hell, technically, nearly all could be filmed in the same cell with different characters over time, and the viewer would not be the wiser. Again, the latter makes me think of Cube.

Got to say, if’n I was in the situation that these prisoners find themselves, I would just let them explode my head early on than do self-mutilation. It would be so much less painful for a quick end, because I know I will not be the one who gets out, if anyone does win this “game,” which essentially amounts to body horror and torture p**n. For those who are into that kind of thing, I highly recommend this. If you are any bit squeamish about blood, mutilation, self-harm, and the like (e.g., fingernails), you are warned.

Robert LaSardo

There is a level of sadism that permeates not only the workings of the story, but in the viewing of it as well. With Saw, there was a level of imagination in the trappings of the deadly devices which, yes, is torturous, but it is highly imaginative. There was also a layered level to what was happening and why. Here, it is everyday instrument and a large part of the violence is self inflicted mostly with general tools (hammer, boxcutter, and much more). There is a certain layer here, too, as we learn that the choosing of the participants is not quite as random as one might think at first. This does give a bit more cohesion to the story that I was happy to see.

The last person standing (I am not saying if they survive or not) is pretty obvious throughout, but that’s okay. It does nothing to diminish from the events happening. However, the last minute of the film seems unrealistic (which has nothing to do with the main story, and I’m afraid I cannot say why without giving away spoilers), but I am not sure if it was meant to fit in to the cycle of the story, or looking for a sequel (or franchise?).

With its faults, the film is effective if you are into body horror, and I would endorse it for that audience.

IMDB listing HERE https://www.imdb.com/title/tt12338246/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=udV3XnNjwdU

Tuesday, September 20, 2022

Review: You’re Melting!

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2022
Images from the Internet

You’re Melting!
Directed by James Balsamo
Acid Bath Productions
60 minutes, 2022
www.jamesbalsamo.com
www.facebook.com/acidbathproductions

Yeah, so I basically begin nearly every review of director/writer/actor/etc. James Balsamo’s films the same way every time, so to condense it: auteur, (usually horror) comedy, extremely prolific output of work, Balsamo’s narration, shots from an airplane, full of bad but enjoyable puns, female nudity (which is okay because nothing personal, I really don’t need to see Balsamo’s naked bod, as he is always in his films, much like Mel Brooks, another filmmaker I love but do not want to see in that way), animation (both Claymation and cartoons), lately Bill Victor Arucan, and tons of cameos. And yet, I am always happy to get to see his work. Some of these listed above are bound to crop up in my comments, but they will all be in the film.

For this relatively short opus, Balsamo plays Nathan Ender, a plastic surgeon who is out for revenge by killing all the other plastic surgeons as “The Witch Doctor” (i.e., a masked killer). On his trail is Detective George Skully (Arucan) and his assistant, Heather Gummer (blue-hair-tinted bodybuilder Ria Papageorgiou); we see them interview 1980’s-1990’s star Jennifer Rubin, who plays Ender’s co-office surgeon. Along with the killings, there is a lot of gratuitous nudity and dancing, which is to be expected in a Balsamo release, of course.

While the revenge premise of killing plastic surgeons is quite clear, the film has a bit of a cobbled together feeling, which is both good and, well, a bit weak, especially for a film this short. For example, there are a few mostly or totally nude dance sequences that really are gratuitous and does nothing for the story with either two or three women strippers and in one case a male (the latter is actually better at it). Yeah, I know these will probably show up on one of Balsamo’s anthology Sexy Time series (and rightfully so).

Joe Estevez

There is also a ridiculously long sequence of three surgeons (including one played by Joe Estevez, brother and uncle of other better-known actors, playing Dr. Richard Smothers – where’s Tom?, or was he named after Smothers’ son, porn actor Dick Smothers?) walking in a circular path through a Chinese...I’m not sure…Museum? Art gallery? While this happens, the three riff off (ad lib) nonsense that does not promote the story at all in a woe-is-me fashion, or just screaming dialogue. That being said, the “Where’s Waldo” effect with the Witch Doctor in this sequence is cool.

I am also confused about one of the dancers on a ritualistic altar as the Witch Doctor runs a (cool looking) knife over her body. Is she supposed to be a plastic surgeon as well? It is incongruous with the story, especially with her smiling as the knife skims her naked flesh. Then there is the topless dancer who sings and plays the piano for what seems like a really long time. See, this is why it feels cobbled together rather than an actual narrative story.

There are some interesting cameos here and there, such as Brian Bonsall (the younger kid in the TV show “Family Ties” and the Klingon youngster in “Star Trek: The Next Generation”), wrestler (always a wrestler) Tonga Fifita reading poetry, and bizarro filmmaker Jim Wynorski (I like his films), among those I have already mentioned among quite a few others.

And what was the reasoning for the stop-motion monster further on in the film? The story was left quite open, I am assuming for a sequel at some point, as Balsamo has been doing that a lot lately.

I have a theory: the Witch Doctor is actually played by Bobby Canipe Jr., under the mask. The cinematography is by Cagney Larkin. Balsamo’s actual role is a miniscule cameo and the rest is voiceover. So, what I’m thinking is that this film was directed over the phone (or Zoom) by Balsamo, but it was mostly produced and edited by him and shot while he was away making multiple other films. That would explain the inconsistencies and weirdness of whatever was going on in the plot, such as it was. This was more an idea than a story.

While not the strongest of the Balsamo releases that I have seen, and I have watched quite a few – nearly all I enjoyed – there are some good elements to this, especially the set designs and I like the Witch Doctor mask. Despite all my quibbling, I am still looking forward to some of Balsamo’s upcoming releases, such as The Righteous Adventures of Commander Star Shark and Guppy!, It Wants Blood 2, and especially I Got a Bullet with Your Name on it!, among a dozen others that are currently in pre-production, production, or post-production.

IMDB Listing HERE 

Trailer is HERE 

Thursday, September 15, 2022

Review: Pink Rabbit

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2022
Images from the Internet

Pink Rabbit
Directed by Zetkin Yıkılmış
Yikilmiş Filmproduktion; Gravitas Ventures
105 minutes, 2022
www.facebook.com/pinkrabbitthemovie/

Somewhere in my head, I hear Sly Sylvester Stone’s voice singing, “It’s a family affair…” That is hardly surprising as the star of the film, as Martha, is the director/writer, Zetkin Yıkılmış, her husband is played by her husband, Dominic Yıkılmış (who is also cinematographer), and her kid is played by her toddler son, Emil I. Yıkılmış. Zetkin also fills many other shoes, such as make-up, editing, and art direction. Something tells me this is going to be a micro-budget film. I am truly excited.

From a Turkish background, Zetkin filmed this in Germany, but it is done entirely in English, so for those who are subtitle-phobic, there should be no issue in this department; sometimes heavy accents prevail, though.

We are introduced to the “Pink Rabbit” (Roland Bialke) during the credits – well, his feet anyway – as they stomp on a bunch of flowers. Right from the start, we are told the rabbit is up to no good. And what exactly is the rabbit? It’s an adult male in a bunny suit and exaggerated make-up.

Even from the first five minutes, the film has the feel of a fairy tale. Remember, Grimm’s Fairy Tales by the Brothers Grimm (1812) also came from Germany, and if you had the chance to read the original (or early translations), as I did, they are incredibly disturbing, often containing physical torture, dismemberment, and death to men, women, and children (for example, you didn’t think Hansel and Gretel were the first children in the witch’s house, did you?). It’s this feeling of “magic” that permeates the story.

Zetkin Yıkılmış

Martha is a harried office worker who has done so much overtime that she has not seen her husband and child in days. But on her way home, on a lonely road, the real journey begins as she is zapped out of her car by the Rabbit (using ‘80s style CGI), and into the dark woods, where she is held captive by a hunter and his father, and covered in white mice (tell me, that does not sound like a fairy tale to you). But like Dorothy Gale, all she wants to do is go home.

The style of fairy tale includes a chapter where a cabin is run by two bad hunters and potential cannibals, Caleb (Jakob Suchentrunk) and his grizzled father, Kain (Claus-Peter Seifert), where they are holding Martha captive. It is almost like they are in the Middle Ages in dress and house interiors (really good set designing), though in actuality, it takes place just after the end of the American War Between the States; what is odd, though, is that they have a huge Confederate “Stars  and Bars” flag hanging in their living room. Is that some kind of political commentary? There is also an odd conglomeration of American Indian/First Nations culture and one bit of modern technology all thrown in the mixer. The language is also purposely stilted to give it a fairy tale ambience (to paraphrase, “Oh, good sir, I just want to go home”).

Roland Bialke

All of the dialogue is spoken slowly, as if being read to children, though profanity prevails, and very carefully enunciated, though the “Rabbit” is over-the-top in facial expressions, and sounds more like Snidely Whiplash as he emotes by gnashing his teeth (would that make Martha “Nell”?). Did I mention that the “Rabbit” also has an alarm clock around his neck like the White Rabbit in Alice in Wonderland?

In other films, the over exaggeration in emoting and movement would be the signs of amateurism, but as a purposeful stylistic choice, it covers a lot of bases, and because of it being consistent throughout rather than one or two actors trying their best, it flows quite well into the fairy tale narrative and motif.

A wise choice is as the scenarios change as she “kills all enemies” (Rule 2 of 3 given by the guy in the pink rabbit suit), the film nicely plays with how much is outside the scope of Martha, and how much is in her head, a manifestation of a possible psychic break after an alleged tragic event (again, real or Rabbit manipulation?). This is nicely exemplified in the character of Police Detective Fox (David Ketter, looking like he just stepped out of a Beach Boys’ cover band).

The SFX (the killings are practical and the titles that pop up on occasion or flashes when there is movement from scene to scene are digital) by Zetkin are extremely cheesy and are as cartoonish as the rest, which is appropriate. However, the set design and lighting are incredibly well done and are a spotlight, and yet still fits into the overall tone of everything else.

I have, quite honestly, not seen any of Zetkin’s other films, such as Planet Zee (2021), so I cannot compare them, but as a standalone, I was impressed by the level of the mixing of mediums of film and fairy tale. Despite sometimes having a bit of an issue with the accents (as I said earlier), especially with Bialke’s teeth gnashing, overall, I had fun with this accepting it as it is and what I feel like the mood it was going for, which I believe was achieved. This is indie filmmaking at its most basic level, a family affair, and I ended it with a smile. It feels like it was left open for a possible sequel, which I would look forward to viewing.

IMDB listing HERE

Trailer is HERE 

Saturday, September 10, 2022

Review: The Retaliators

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2022
Images from the Internet

The Retaliators
Directed by Samuel Gonzalez Jr.; Bridget Smith; Michael Lombardi
Better Noise Films; K Phat Productions; CineLife Entertainment
97 minutes, 2022
www.retaliatorsmovie.com/
 

Presently, we live in a world full of conspiracy theories and beliefs in shadowy cabals out for control. Modern stories are awash with them, from the high-octane assassins of the John Wick franchise to the more intimate mundanity of Stephen King’s 1978 stop-smoking short story, “Quitters, Inc.”

To be honest, when I read the premise of the film, I thought it was going to be a revenge action thriller. While that is not totally inaccurate, there are at least three stories going on here. First, there’s the violent prologue, which I’m sure will meld with the other two at some point. Second has to do with two rival motorcycle gangs dealing with a revenge motif, thanks to the brother of the leader of one of them, Ram (Joseph Gatt; Thenn Warg in “Game of Thrones”).

Michael Lombardi

The third and central story, which also involves Ram, circles around the family of a pastor, amusingly named John Bishop (Michael Lombardi, from “Rescue Me”; he was also an “additional director” for this release). He’s a “turn the other cheek” kind of guy, but his beloved daughter, Sarah (Katie Kelly) has been murdered, and he’s out for revenge. The Detective on the case is hardnosed Jed (Marc Menchaca; he played a recurring character on “Ozark” and “Homeland”). All three parts take place in New Jersey, filmed in Vineland.

And what would you do if you were given the opportunity to have 5 minutes alone with the person responsible for the brutal death of a loved one? Yes, this has been covered before in the likes of Sympathy for Lady Vengeance (2005), but here it is more mano-a-mano, as Bishop is given that opportunity “to heal,” hence the name of the film. His link to the Retaliator(s) is no surprise, but that is hardly important to the flow of the story. The biggest added element here is the fact that (a) he is a pastor, and (b) has preached turning the other cheek. As he looks over the mean, nasty, ugly implements of destruction, that instantly made me think of the cliché of the angel and devil on the shoulder paradigm. This is an interesting moral dilemma.

Marc Menchaca

His decision, which I will not reveal, leads us to the final act of the film, where all hell breaks loose, when Ram’s brother’s motorcycle gang shows up to find Ram, armed to the teeth. But that’s not where the danger originates, which, again, I will not give away, but it is an interesting concept that reminded me of a part of Enter the Dragon (1973). And what about Bishop? Think about Straw Dogs (1971; 2011).

The prologue is finally addressed in a way that made me smile despite the gruesomeness of it (because of it, perhaps?), as Bishop looks closer to Ash Williams than to a preacher. But I was waiting for a particular moment, hoping it would come (again, no giveaways, though it seemed pretty obvious to me).

With a mostly well seasoned cast (not counting the musician newbies), this was well-acted, with Lombardi giving his all, and I have to say, Gatt makes an amazing villain, looking so much more massive than his 6’1” frame; who knew he was a self-described Star Wars geek and collector?

While Bishop is a pastor and there are a couple of scenes in his church (both concerning sermons and scripture), I would totally say that this is not a religious-themed film, and is totally non-preachy in that way. Sigh of relief from Agnostic Atheist me.

A key element to the meta of this film is its cameos, which include Mötley Crüe’s Tommy Lee as the strip club’s DJ, Jacoby Shaddix (the voice of Papa Roach) in his first acting role as a serial killer, the band Five Finger Death Punch who play at Bishop’s church, and a whole bunch of other musicians. The soundtrack, which features the music to those and other high-line bands is also available on Better Noise Music, including the Crüe’s (plus others) “The Retaliators,” ‘natch. Speaking of cameos, watch for modern Scream Queen Sarah Nicklin as Emily, a crisis counselor.

I have to say I was surprised and pleased by the amount of blood, gore and violence that was throughout the film, with a beautifully done third act that kept me smiling as things went crash and boom. The SFX were practical, as far as I could tell, and flowing.

Oh, and did I mention this was a Christmas movie?

IMDB listing HERE

 



Monday, September 5, 2022

Reviews: 5 Various Zombie Themed Films: Pop Punk Zombies; Zombie Fight Club; Zombie Hunter; Zombie Women of Satan; Female Zombie Riot

 Reviews: 5 Various Zombie Themed Films

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2022
Images from the Internet

For a while there, Zombie-based films were everywhere. Arguably, the “death knell” of zombies are being constant was the television show “The Walking Dead.” At first, it started a new spurt of Zombie releases, but as it went on and the story started to deteriorate (as most shows on for that long do), it started to cool down a bit. But it never went away. Other than found footage, it seems like Zombie films appears to be a choice for new filmmakers. It’s understandable. There is a lot of bang for the buck, and showing off SFX is a nice notch in the director’s belt.

These films below are not ranked), but are listed alphabetically (with one exception as it is a sequel), all from TubiTV. Note that my snark is truly meant to be fun and rib-poking with a touch of stream of consciousness, and I looked for titles that were a bit…different. I had just the right low-budget expectation for these films, so I was not blindsided by anticipating a theatrical extravaganza experience. After all, when it comes to the cheese level, there are times when ya want melted brie on artisan bread, and at others, Cheez-Whiz on animal crackers. I enjoyed these films for precisely what they are. All of these releases are recent, since the millennium. Links to the coming attractions for all of them are at the bottom of each review.

 

Pop Punk Zombies
Directed by Steve Dayton
Staytone Productions
84 minutes, 2011
You know how on social media when the question comes up “which band would you have liked to have seen,” usually giving images of dead musicians? This film takes that one step further…perhaps more. Dameon David (Adam Hatfield) is a music producer. What he does is wait in cemeteries for the undead musicians to rise, and then captures them and trains them to play the titular pop punk in a band called Viscous Vegan (great group name, actually). Yeah, I know this makes no sense and is kind of insulting to musicians who have put their lives into their music. But let’s see where this takes us. The (living) protagonist of the film is Eddy (Ian Kane), who just broke up with his girlfriend, Lisa (Laura Savage); 5 minutes in, and I can already see where this is going. There is also Eddy’s best friend, Ciez Jones (Nick Marinnuci). And what I see, in part, is the gray filter used to make this look almost black and white, with some color as an artistic choice (makes it easier to hide the color of the fake blood later on). As Eddy and Ciez go into the club, The Warehouse (a music joint in Lacrosse, Wisconsin), it is obviously a real music venue by the posters of shows on the wall, such as SNFU, Jesus Lizard, and The Melvins. While there is good music on the soundtrack by the likes of The Disabled and Cockney Americans, as for the Vicious Vegans…not so much. When the show starts, a member of a “rights” group (think PETA for zombies) lets the zombie musicians loose, and then the second act and the fun starts. Will Eddy be able to save himself? And what about Lisa, who is also at the gig? Either way, there is plenty of young’ns in the place (to which they are all locked in) to build up a nice body count. The slaughter starts relatively early, so I’m wondering how they are going to fill up the time. For once, the zombies stand straight up, are smart, and they are fast and strong. They even know how to fist-fight and on occasion have calm conversations. These aren’t your normal Romero ramblers, and there is little consistency with zombie behaviors throughout. The story is incredibly silly, and the acting matches it. The editing is also annoying in that whomever did it must have been brought up on MTV videos because it is hard to tell what’s going on sometimes. I certainly appreciate that they tried to do something a little different here, but it doesn’t really work. The dialogue is bland and oft times nonsensical, the zombie movement is inconsistent, and the characters have zero personality. There is lots of gore shots, but in such close-up that it is hard to tell what we are looking at, at times. The dullness of the image (that near black and white thing I was talking about) hinders more than helps. One thing I did like, though, was the bit about social commentary, how zombies are just going to replace living humans in the work force. Sound familiar?
Trailer is HERE 

 

Zombie Fight Club (aka Shi cheng)
Directed by Joe Chien
Sun Entertainment Culture; Six Doors Film Productions; Scream Factory
95 minutes, 2014
There is no question where the title came from in this Taiwanese film, that is in both Mandarin and English; they seem to indiscriminately jump between the two, with clear captions for both. The original title translates to “Corpse City.” This is a nice mix of the zombie apocalypse, gladiator films, and a bit of the Resident Evil franchise. The first two acts starts “30 minutes before” the zombies hit the fan in a high-rise apartment building (taller the building, the more tenants, the more zombies). We are focused on a criminal cartel into drugs and kidnapping (and rapping), with lots of sex, cleavage and nudity (only female, of course) in the first 10 minutes. But then, the sky “looks funny,” as one character states, but it’s the bath salt pills that get people to start turning into (some are fast, some are slow) blood thirsty flesh eaters. It’s not because they died, they just changed. And did I mention this is on Halloween, so people think the zombies are just in make-up, at first? While the practical SFX make-up and gore looks pretty good, the CGI explosions, gunfire, and blood splatter (including the on the camera lens cliché), do not; it looks quite fake and distracting. When crooked soldiers come to attack the cartel to steal their money, in the middle of a zombie uprising, the action is bloody and enjoyable. Lots of close-ups and quick edits magnify the action. There is even an Oldboy (2003) style corridor fight, except with the undead rather than gangsters. Act three takes place one year later, with zombies ruling the world and a small group of the living being underground, ruled by a sadistic ex-school teacher (Jack Kao), who has a strange relationship with his zombie daughter Nana (Abby Fung), filling the “Bub” position from Day of the Dead (1985). He sets up a gladiatorial system of people fighting zombies in a bread and circuses situation, where he fills the Caligula role, gambling for the likes of water and leather-clad, bikini wearing women. This is a post-apoc version of the Christians vs. the lions. The zombies, at this point, have physically deteriorated, and the make-up nicely expresses that, being more skin-and-bones. At this stage, the two protagonists are Andy (Andy On), who was one of the “soldiers,” and Jenny (Jessica Canbensey), who we met in the first part. He is the top fighter (and there is a decent kung fu fight scene between him and another living human), and she is abused in other ways. Can they survive and make it out? And if they do, is there anything worth saving on the surface (shades of 1976’s Logan’s Run, Batman!).
Trailer is HERE 

 

Zombie Hunter
Directed by K. King
Arrowstorm Entertainment; The Klimax; Well Go USA Entertainment
93 minutes, 2013
https://www.facebook.com/zombiehuntermovie?fref=ts
I ain’t a-gonna lie: the reason I chose this one is because Danny Trejo is featured on the poster, and has top billing. Hopefully, it’s not just a cameo to sucker in suckers like me. The origin story of the zombies is told in the prologue: natas (seriously?) is a new drug (that looks like Pepto Bismol), much like with Zombie Fight Club (reviewed above), is the cause. The situation quickly escalates until the landscape looks like something out of a Mad Max scenario, right down to the narration by the anti-hero, of course named Hunter (Martin Copping), who even drives what looks like Max’s Interceptor car. He is bitter, bored, talks slowly in a raspy Christian Bale/Batman whisper without the lisp, and is a heavy drinker since he has not seen anyone alive (other than zombies, of course) in six months. Well, you keep riding around in the desert, what do you expect? Well, that’s just me, I guess. The film tries hard to be a bit artistic, and it does work, with the use of overlapping images, occasional monochrome filter, and title cards with the names of people, zombies (e.g., Death Angel), and “important objects” (e.g., Tequila). Flashbacks are stylized in red filters and look close to comic books (closer to Tim Virgil’s Faust than, say Spider-Man). Eventually, he forcefully gets involved with a commune, including tough Father Jesus (Trejo) that calls everyone “gringo,” slow witted bully and blow-hard Lyle (Jake Suazo), and the Ginger and Maryanne of the group, oversexed and cleavatious Fast Lane Debbie (model and exotic dancer Jade Regler, who gratuitously gets to show off her pole skills), and white-bread with a whole other side, Alison (Clare Niederpruem). The last two minimal characters are pilot Jerry (Terry Guthrie) and Alison’s 15-year-old brother who is both a horndog and dumb as a post, Ricky (Jason K. Wixom, who has a phenomenally long IMBD listing). The make-up effects look really fine and practical, and the blood splatter is incredibly obvious CGI. There is also a really cool (yet CGI) monster that is inconsistent, but enjoyable looking. Trejo gets to show off his familiar tats while calling the creature a “puta.” This made me laugh. While there is some extreme gore thrown in here and there in the first half, it picks up towards the middle, as does the road trip, in Zombieland fashion (2009), encountering “eaters” and some clown with a chain saw. There are a few good jump scares, and the action scenes are well choreographed and extremely bloody. That is on point. However, there is one thing that drove me crazy, and I have some questions. First, the annoying part: the inner monologues are annoying and unneeded. Perhaps they were looking for a Noir flair? As for the questions: where does Hunter get his stream of cigarettes and booze? And where do the women get all their make-up, especially Fast Lane Debbie, who wears a ton? And I hope I wasn’t that stupid when I was 15 (between him and Lyle, the word “retarded” comes up a few times in the dialogue). Actually, nearly everybody makes some bad choices, some more than once. Also, why does the amount of blood on Alison’s white top keep changing? Sometimes the blood of the zombies is red, others it is that Pepto pink. Why? And what were those creatures? Despite my questions, I found this very satisfactory in the bloodletting and especially the zombie make-up.
Trailer is HERE 

 

Zombie Women of Satan
Directed by Warren Speed and Steve O’Brien
24:25 Films; Growling Clown Entertainment
85 minutes, 2009
www.facebook.com/ZombieWomenOfSatan
www.growlingclown.com
Somewhere in England’s northeast, there is a traveling carny group called Flesharama, who have a strip club called The House of the Golden Lotus. They include (of course) the nearly always shirtless Sydney Smallcock, aka Pervo the Clown (writer, co-director Warren Speed), the ringmaster Johnny Dee Hellfire (Seymore Leon Mace), who is also the manager of the mangy troupe, trying to keep them somewhat in line while women are twirling their pasties on stage but, if you’ll pardon the cliché, it’s like herding stoned sex-crazed cats. For some reason, there is also well-known rock singer, Skye Brannigan (Victoria Hopkins). There are a few others, but they are more future fodder, as there is not a likeable character among them, which seems to be a common thread in zombie films so we can cheer their demises without guilt. Meanwhile, out in the countryside, Tycho (Christian Steel) is running a cult of himself and a bunch of loosely clad and beautiful women on a rural and isolated farm (think Spahn Ranch and Manson). This locale is also where in the basement, a mad scientist and father of Tycho, Dr. Zander (Bill Fellows) is experimenting on other women that are brought to him by his leather corseted daughter, Red (Maryisa Kay), for scientific experiments to form zombies is carried out. Our carnival and stripper end up there for a podcast interview, and viola, so much for “never the twain shall meet.” Once the half-clad (and seemingly really bored) women of the cult accidentally get dosed with the zombie formula, that’s when the start of the second act and the fun begins. The mentality of the film is somewhere around a 15 years old teen boy. For example, the sheer amount of bare breasted zombies, masturbation, sex with said zombies, parents who are deranged, and extended shitting/fart scene that is about three times longer than it needs to be (sorry, but after Blazing Saddles in 1973, this kind of fart joke is passe); though a shorter fart joke earlier works better. The story is kind of silly and the dialogue is about Middle School level, with profanity substituting for anything meaningful. I’m talking generally, because there are some really good lines in here as well; The acting is decent though occasionally a bit over-the-top, though Hopkins comes out the best (there is a reason she’s top billed). As for the communion, the blood and gore mostly look pretty good, though occasionally the blood looks a bit syrupy at times. It’s a bit of a mindless watch, but sometimes that just what ya need, right?
Trailer is HERE 

 

Female Zombie Riot (aka Zombie Women of Satan 2; Female Zombie Riot: Not Walking Dead, Hot Babe Zombies Galore, get your Grindhouse on!)
Directed by Warren Speed and Chris Greenwood
Growling Clown Entertainment; Bearded Maverick; Gravitas Ventures
95 minutes, 2016
www.facebook.com/ZombieWomenOfSatan
www.growlingclown.com
This film picks up a couple of years after the conclusion of the first film. Pervo has become a “Justin Bieber,” hero media darling that transformed into a tattooed, drinker who has fallen from grace, but remains true to his nickname. Even from the start of the film, there are bare breasts a-bouncin’ everywhere. The other part of the story is of the Zander clan, who ran the cult in the first film. Well, what’s left of them as they are all over-the-top insane, and they plan to kill Pervo (who they blame for their family’s demise), but first get him to a party and turn everyone there into zombies. Then there are a group of women from a Call Girl Service, in push-up bustiers, who are looking to kill Pervo because he owes them so much money. The problem is that the first half of the film is the set-up (which could have been done in 20 minutes rather than nearly 50), before we see any of the zombies. And most of the characters are so unlikeable, especially the overacting and incredibly badly written moronic Zander clan, that the 50 minutes feels twice as long. Maybe they could use the theme song by the Beatles: “I Don’t Want to Spoil the Party so I’ll Go…Topless.” The bigger the bust, the faster the top comes off, proportionately. There are lots of zombie attacks, but I think they’re trying to be humorous like Shaun of the Dead (2004), but the humor only occasionally clicks (though, I admit, when it does, it works). As one (of the more annoying) character enters the party room at the top of a landing and shouts, “Now, this is what I call my kind of party.” I am guessing that the writers were “borrowing” it from Austin Powers (1997)  when he says, “This is my happening baby, and it freaks me out.” You know it’s from Powers, though, because women in corsets, at one point, are called “Bots” (as in “FemBots”). But I wonder if they are aware that Austin took the line from Russ Meyer’s Beyond the Valley of the Dolls (1970, written by Roger Ebert)? So, like the difference between ThanksKilling (2009) and its sequel ThanksKilling3 (2013), the first one was okay, but the second one was not as good.
Trailer is HERE