Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror
Films, 2013
Images from the Internet
The Dark Dealer
Directed by Tom Alexander and Wynn Winberg
85 minutes, 1995 / 2013
Whacked Movies
www.whackedmovies.com
www.mvdvisual.com
Whacked Movies
84 minutes, 1996 / 2013
Whackedmovies.com
MVDvisual.com
Images from the Internet
Whacked Movies is a label with a
double entendre name that specializes in reissuing cheesy, straight-to-VHS
indie films from the 1980s and ‘90s. And for that I salute them by reviewing
two of them. Other than these films being released a year apart, there are
other factors that group them. One is that Wynn Winberg co-directed the first,
and produced the second, and both have actor Rocky Patterson. The other is that
both were filmed in Texas.
The Dark Dealer
Directed by Tom Alexander and Wynn Winberg
85 minutes, 1995 / 2013
Whacked Movies
www.whackedmovies.com
www.mvdvisual.com
Mostly during the 1970 through 1990s, one of the common
themes of horror films was the anthology, perhaps kicked into high gear by the
EC Comics-inspired Tales from the Crypt
(1972), and continued with the likes of Campfire
Tales (1997), and Snoop Dog’s Hood of
Horror (2006). Heck, I recently saw a film that uses this device called Johnny Dickie’s Slaughter Tales (2012),
directed by a 15-year-old. The way it works is there are some standalone
stories that may be connected in some way by an overarching framework.
Sometimes it is just someone telling the story, or in this case of this film,
there is a link via a mysterious room at the entrance of (death?) (hell?) where
one plays a round of poker with, yes, the sarcastic and unsympathetic Dark
Dealer (Mark Fickert)
Although this Texas-filmed – er – film was produced in
the early-to-mid 1990s, there is a whole lot of ‘80s going on, from the tight
dresses to the very, very, very big
hair. And much like the direct to VHS of the period, the acting is generally
not very good. There are some who shine a bit, like Gordon Fox as a milquetoast
basement apartment dweller, and there are some that stand out in their
audacity, such as Rocky Patterson as Pete, a collections enforcer for the mob,
or Jeff English as Cracker, a wise-cracking drug dealer.
There are three stories. I won’t go into too much and
give a lot away, because even though you can see it coming, I still don’t want
to ruin it. One story deals with two lower-echelon gangsters hiding out in an
apartment, terrorizing the meek occupant. Another focuses on a scummy
entertainment lawyer who tries to steal a dead man’s music. The third has some
poor young schmuck forced into breaking into a pharmaceutical company to steal
drugs with his substance abuser girlfriend and her hyper dealer.
This is everything we used to love about the genre, when
scouring the aisles of the local video store before the major chains ran them
into the ground (neh, neh, Blockbuster, where are ya stores now?). The stories
are outrageous but totally enjoyable, the gore is laughable (though a split
body is well done), and the special effects pretty decent for the time period,
which are both person-in-rubber suit, and digital. There is a computer in one
scene where you can tell they were just starting to get to graphics; gotta love
older technology, and appreciate how much has changed in such a short time.
Another aspect of the genre that this film uses
extensively is the way it is lit. Dark rooms mean the use of primary color
lighting. Creepshow (1982) used this
a lot, for example. Splays of green, blue, and especially red fill the screen
to indicate emotions, like fear, in the visual paradigm of the way music is
often used.
Two of the short films, “KSS-X” (the bookended
wraparound) and “Cellar Space,” were directed by Tom Alexander, while the
"Blues in the Night” segment was directed by Wynn Winberg (who produced RepliGator [1996], also released on
Whacked Films), though the film flows seamlessly. While both Alexander and
Winberg have been active in the film business for many years; this is their
only listed directing credit.
So, if you want a fun, empty calorie stuffer, this is a
perfect way to spend a rainy evening, or just to veg out and have a giggle or a
few.
Repligator
Directed by Bret
McCormick Whacked Movies
84 minutes, 1996 / 2013
Whackedmovies.com
MVDvisual.com
“It is a
silly place.”
- King Arthur, in Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
- King Arthur, in Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
Oh, where to even start on this film… Let’s begin with
the basic premise. In a secret government laboratory hidden in deep in the
desert, a bunch of feuding scientists create a replicator (i.e., transporter)
that is combined with a brainwashing software which turns males into luscious females
who are programmed with “rampant nymphomania,” but when they have orgasms, they
turn into upright human alligators (hence the film title).
Yes, this is a comedy, at the most base level possible,
but it doesn’t really try to be anything else, which is why it succeeds, such
as it is. For example, some of the characters include Dr. Kildare (played by
the original Leatherface, Gunnar Hansen), Dr. Goodbody (scream queen Brinke
Stevens, in a later shot scene shown twice!), Dr. Stanley Oliver (get it? Stan
and Ollie…), Colonel Sanders, General Mills, Colonel Sergeant, Pvt. Lapdance, and
Pvt. Poontang. You see what I’m saying.
Now, this is not to say this is lacking in entertainment.
Actually, I found this more enjoyable than most of the output of anything
associated with Seth Rogan, the Wilson Brothers (Owen and Luke), or especially
Adam Sandler. This film is more like Porky’s
(1982) meets The Lord of the G-Strings:
The Femaleship of the String (2003): outrageous humor mixed with lots of nudity (though sex is discussed
constantly, almost none is shown).
Dr. Oliver, played by Keith Kjomes, who is about the size
of Oliver Hardy but with less hair, is also the writer of all this. He wisely
wrote himself the best lines, and ends up with the hottest woman.
Speaking of smoldering females, nearly all seem to be in
a constant state of being topless, or in provocative clothing, include the stunning
TJ Myers,
and a few others who are not listed in the credits, such as those who play the female
version of West, and Pvt. Bruno. Of course being nearly undressed more often
than not is the whole point, ainnit?
Most of the acting is so atrocious the cast seem to be in
what I call John Lithgow sit-com mode (I don’t care how many Emmy’s he’s won, he was terrible on 3rd
Rock from the Sun). Okay, maybe not always that bad, but everyone seems to
acting like a kid in a candy store, having a lot of fun filming this,
especially the antagonist, Randy Clower (who plays Dr. Fields). In a 7-minute
interview on one of the two extras, the director discusses how he was
influenced by Roger Corman. I can see it, as far as low budget goes, but he
seems to emulate the Cormen of the 1970s and ‘80s (e.g., Candy Stripe Nurses, Galaxy of Terror) rather than of the early ‘60s.
Again, I don’t mean this as a bad thing, just an observation.
This film is so ludicrous, so fun, it’s also a must see
if you’re a fan of the genre. You won’t know whether to laugh, groan at the
audacity or just say out loud, “What the fuck was that?” Perhaps the right choice is all of the above.
This is definitely a low budget gem in its own weird and
twisted way. The digital special effects are laughable now, but at the time
were pretty keen, such as laser blasts, people/gators exploding into green
digital drops, and machinery that is now laughably antiquated. As for the gators (which are actually closer
to crocodiles, with wider and shorter snouts, though I agree that “RepliGator”
sound better than “RepliCrock”), it’s obviously rubber masks (it is explained
more in the “Making of” second extra feature) and hands that look somewhat cheesy, and
yet also cool. People are attacked by the creatures and bitten, but rather than
being killed, they turn into stereotypically swishy straight-imagining-of-gay
zombies (though one transsexual character is shown in a somewhat gentler
light)..
One of the things I like most about the film is, and I repeat,
that it never, ever, ever tries to be
more than what it is: a six-day shoot of epic lack of proportions, and the
audience is all the better for it. No pretending that it’s a James Cameron
sci-fi epic, or even a mid-budget Kristin Wiig comedy, this is solid juvenile,
masculinist envisioning that culminates in what could be the wit-level of an
hour-and-a-half fart joke. You may find it amusing, you may find it irritating,
or you may find it highly offensive (and it is from beginning to end), but you
will not be bored.
Full movie VOD:
