Wednesday, January 22, 2014

DVD Review: Race War: The Remake

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2013
Images from the Internet


Race War: The Remake
Produced, written and directed by Tom Martino             
DWN Productions
Wild Eye Releasing                        
95 minutes, 2013

The only other film I can think of that had the added “The Remake” was Bill Zebub’s The Worst Horror Film Ever Made (2008). Batting a thousand.

Okay, let me say right off that bat that I am not one to use the “N-word,” even if it’s with the rapper-used “a” at the end of the word, rather than the more well-known phrasing, so I’m using going to use the term “N” for this review; know that even then, I am not comfortable.

Much as The Wolf of Wall Street is now known as holding the record for the use of “fuck,” this must hold a similar title for using N. Makes Blazing Saddles look like Mary Poppins. They throw it around like surfers use “dude.” Seriously, most conversations by the three main characters (two African Americans and the Creature from the Black Lagoon – a tall guy in a rubber mask – known slangily as just “Kreech”) use it as they talk to each other, such as “Hey, N, how you doin’, N? Let go get the N, and show him what these N are talkin’ about, N.” Now, that isn’t a quote, just an example of how the term is used. Bill Cosby would be turning in his grave. Still alive? This’d kill ‘im.

So, two crack dealers, Baking Soda (Howard Calvert) and G.E.D. (Jamelle Kent), who wear stereotypical black sleeveless tight tees, neck chain and do-rag, are upset because someone is cutting into their business. Interestingly, both Baking Soda and G.E.D. appear in another, unrelated upcoming film, Lars the Emo Kid. They get their friend Kreech (Danny McCarty), some high tech weapon from another pal, Mahoney (Kerryn Ledet) who begins each and every sentence with an exasperated, “Motherfucker!”, and they go after the competition.

And what rivals: it seems a racist good old boy from another planet is selling red crack that turns its users into flesh eating zombies and/or slaves. Along the way, our “intrepid heroes” will meet up with incredibly drug dealer bigoted charactertures such as a Chassidic Jew (named Jewboy) who has a southern accent (my guess is portrayer Coady Allen couldn’t do a proper one), a Chinese guy who says things like “Ding dang wang pork fried rice dong ding dong lo mein,” etc., and then there is an Arabic bar owner who is a Lambchop puppet with antlers and a cap, and is also a terrorist. If there is a way to be offensive, they’re going to find and exploit it.

Oh, did a mention every time you see G.E.D. smiling and nodding his head, you hear the sound of a chimpanzee screeching? Wow.

This is definitely a film by pseudo-macho guys for pseudo-macho guys. There is a lot of anti-gay humor, though most of the characters are just that. In fact, you even get to see one of the main character’s testacies after someone mention’s that he can “see you’re/your nuts” (didn’t they use that same joke in The Kentucky Fried Movie (“Catholic High School Girls in Trouble” sequence) way back in 1977? At the end, you do get so see some female nudity, but only from the neck to the waist The entire film is one big racist / genderist joke.

Part of what makes this funny, actually, is that as you can tell from the title, they are exploiting the racism and mocking it, as much as, yes, promoting it. They’re calling it the new “Blaxploitation.” I don’t know if that is true, but in today’s world of indie horror films, anything is game if you make it a comedy. And in many ways, surprisingly, this succeeds. They’re not out to make a Great American Film. Heck, they’re not even out to make a later Adam Sandler film. What they’re going for with some success is to make you sit there with your mouth open, not knowing whether to be laughing your ass off or be shocked by the sheer audacity.

There are a lot of really good few-second jokes or bits that run through the film that make it for me. For example, when Kreech is on screen, there a short musical sequence of a bar or two from the original Black Lagoon film that is played over and over, and when he speaks, you hear a tape of dolphins and there is a caption underneath that translates what he says. Then at some point there is suddenly a title card letting the reader know that it’s time for the 3D glasses, and for a few seconds, the screen is tinted green and red (though I haven’t tried glasses to see if it actually works). My favorite, though, is you hear barking as you see a finger shadow of a dog on the wall in the corner, again, just for one shot. There is nonsense like that through the whole thing.

Another is that one character (in blue and blackface; I think he’s supposed to be Jamaican by the dreds) talks in music, through an autotune, with musical notes coming out of his mouth. More than once the film turns into a video game, including a first-person shooter that reminds me of Wolfenstein. The other is an old-fashioned martial arts fight-off.

Like most of the historical Blaxploitation films, this is directed by a white guy, which still bugs me (the only African-American Blaxploitation direction I can think of is Sean Weathers, who also hosts a horror-related radio show, but I digress…).

The film takes place through guerilla shooting in and around Houston, Texas, with lots of interesting sites, including the inside of the Darke Institute’s Phobia Haunted House. There is a lot of blood and gore, some of it looking really cool and sticky, and some of it looking, well, like sock puppets. There are appliances as well as digital, an example of the latter being someone’s face blasted off. The ending of the film explains some of the weirdness and exploits quite well, in a “gotcha” kind of way.

As for extras, there are some Wild Eye trailers, a coming attraction for Martino’s next film, Cheeseballs (which looks like it relies heavily on the Troma style, including an appearance by Lloyd Kaufman, who seems to be everywhere lately), a decent gag reel, and a mixed gore and “making of” mash-up

Last there is a commentary track, which must be one of the worst I have ever heard. Some of the crew and most of the main cast (which overlaps) sit around the mic with beers and just diss each other and everybody else for the entire time. There is possibly 5 minutes of anything worth listening to on it. What I find bothersome is that while the film’s racist language and crude bathroom humor is a directive, on the commentary it sounds like these people are as dumb as stumps, and are living everything they seem to mock in the feature’s subtext. If I wanted to listen to a bunch of drunken boobs yacking about absolutely nothing, I’d watch a Kevin Smith commentary (“Hahaha, Jay fell over!’).

You are certainly going to need a strong stomach and tolerance for racial slandering to watch this, that’s for sure; but I will tell you that you will either have a hoot with it, or want to use the disc for skeet shooting practice, with little room in between. I leaned more towards the owl.


Friday, January 17, 2014

DVD Review: The Sky Has Fallen

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2013
Images from the Internet

The Sky Has Fallen: Limited Edition
Written, photographed, produced, directed and edited by Doug Roos           
80 minutes, 2009
Lost Forever Productions

Rachel: Aren’t you afraid?
Lance: Of what?
Rachel: Dying? Being tortured? Suffering?

This multi-award winning film shows a post-apocalyptic world gone crazy. A disease has killed off most of the population of the world, but it gets worse than that: the disease has mutated into these black hooded demons who stich up the dead and use the corpuses to kill or capture live people. Yeah, like zombies, but they mostly just kill, rather than make the living lunch. That is essentially the film’s opening narrative in the first minute.

The focus of the story is a rather too neat and clean man and woman whose make-up is always perfect, who meet while hiding in the woods of Missouri (though it could be anywhere) a few months after the start of the whole shebang. They decide to go find the leader of the black robed ones (who, apparently, wears a white robe and black bones sticking out of its back). He uses a samurai sword and she, a handgun that doesn’t run out of bullets, unless it is part of the storyline.

Meanwhile, they are besieged by not only many blood and goo-covered people who have sharp instruments for hands, but the robed ones who apparently can be killed by both sword or gun. Then there are the nightmares produced by them so you are not sure what is real.

Sounds great, right? Well, the premise is unique, but the writing… Almost all the dialog, which is 90% between the two main characters, tries to sound like Before Sunrise (1995), but comes across incredibly stilted. Almost all questions are answered with questions, and it is rare that a character says more than one sentence in a row, almost always in a monotone.

Ideally, I would have liked to have seen Roos work up the story and get someone else help with the dialog. I mean, the two leads, Lance (Carey MacLaren) and Rachel (Laurel Kemper) are fetching and with the near constant and repeating soaring music as a serenade, the viewer should care about them, but it’s nearly impossible as they mostly stoically line-by-line tell their stories in slices, bits and pieces.

Being Roos’ first (and so far only) feature, this is obviously a learning experience. HH He knows that close-ups make more sense on a low budget, and he does employ that. The film actually looks pretty good, in part to the use of appliances rather than CGI. There is definitely a lot of “moist” going on throughout. There are also some really beautiful shots of backlighting, and editing is tight (though sometimes too quick),

The make-up is pretty well done, and a bit different than your usual gray-green undead being, I am grateful to say. Sometimes the flying blood is a bit much, but again, learning experience. It’s also pretty amazing that the main characters don’t get much of the red on them (in additional to what we see when we are first introduced to them).

I hope Roos gets to make more films, because for a first release, this is a respectable start.

Tacked on are a decent series of “Behind the Scenes” shorts (how about a “show all” to go with it?), and two others about special effects applications. This may not be a film I watch over and over, but I am glad to have had the opportunity to see some decent first steps.


Monday, January 13, 2014

VoD Reviews: Fan Shorts, Vol. 1

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2013
Images from the Internet

These short films are the equivalent of film fanzines, created by fans on micro-budgets, and deserve to be recognized for their work.

KRUGER: Another Tale from Elm Street
Written and directed by Chris R. Notarile.           
Blinky Productions
6:28 minutes, 2013

Sometimes it’s pretty amazing how effective a film can be in even less than 10 minutes. This two person drama is a flashback to when Freddy Kruger (Roberto Lombardi) is still in his living and sadistic prime, and how he meets little Suzy (Breanna Lakatos). A lot of the bookmarks are there, like the sweater, the hat, the car, and even the gloved hand scraping on the pipe. Lombardi does an excellent job as the creepily charming Kruger. Knowing Freddy’s history with children makes their conversation all the more cringeworthy. Notarile does a great job with a solid nod to the original, while still showing some originality. Well worth the view, even if it’s between fingers.



Bat in the Sun: Super Power Beat Down (various episodes)
Directed by Aaron Schoenke      
Bat in the Sun
Varies (appx. 6-10 minutes per episode, 2013

This series is a hoot to watch. Hosted by hottie nerd Marisha Ray, it pits two super heroes and has them battle in live action shorts. For example, there is Superman vs. Thor, Darth Vader vs. Gandalf, Predator vs. Wolverine, or my favorite, Batman vs. Deadpool. The scenarios open up with some nerds and beautiful women debating over who would win and why, though the outcome is chosen by online voting. Basically it’s Stewart vs. Penny, if she knew comic heroes. Unfortunately they sometimes bet, which mostly ends up with the women in bikinis doing stupid things like having pillow fights. Yeesh. But do not be discouraged because the hero / villain (or hero / hero, or villain / villain) mash-up is so well done that you would never know it had a small budget. Most have a sense of humor and certainly know their characters (yes, Gandalf says “You shall not pass,” for example). The acting of the larger than lifers is no less wooden than, say, George Clooney’s Batman or Ben Affleck’s Daredevil. And this series is not afraid to mix genres and publishing houses. There have been nearly 10 episodes as I write this, and with one or two exceptions (e.g., Lara Croft vs. Nathan Drake), they are truly a joy to watch. Also, it is worth it to keep checking back to see the latest.


Friday the 13th: No Man’s Land
Written and directed by David Hastings. 
Lightbeam Productions / Pat the Bulls Productions      
53 minutes, 2010

Ah, nothing like a gaggle of thirty-year-old teens walking around Crystal Lake, being Jason fodder. What is weird is that they have strange accents, which is somewhat not surprising since it was filmed in the UK, though trying to adapt a Yank one. Oh, one tries and fails with a miserable Southern ayk-sayhent. What’s a nice turn is that they aren’t all buffed and gorgeous, but rather many have non-stereotypical body types.

Though this film is only a few years old, it has analog, VHS-like soft edges to the images. This feels appropriate considering Jason actually became a cult figure from the video revolution rather than the theatrical release, if I remember correctly.

As with all of these kinds of kid-in-the-woods-kids-get-dead films, there is a long period of exposition at the beginning (though there is a nice wrap-around) as we begin to meet and either not care about or dislike the group, usually thanks to either cliché bitch vs. macho characters, or those so bland you wish they would be just killed off to end their wooden acting, since that’s the point anyway, ain’ it? There is even the strange, creepy guy in the woods warning them to no avail.

Perhaps you may think I am being too hard on the film. Nah, not at all, and in fact, I admire that they actually have the same aesthetics of the original film, rather than the later, silly sequels. This is probably more accurate to the core concept than the others that were “official” follow-ups (which are mentioned at some point to the informed’s amusement: “I heard he was even in New York,” a way-post-teen mentions).

Actually, my only real complaint is that all the sound is ambient, so the further away from the camera the actor is, the harder it is to hear them. That and 15 minutes could have been easily clipped off, but that’s true of any of the franchise (or let me expand that to the genre).

Now a question I have (and all this genre has answers needed) is if you know a killer is out there, or even possibly on the loose, why would you go off one by one into the woods? Some of the kills are quite ordinary, such as a having a head smashed against a tree (didn’t Jason have a machete at some point?), and at least two of the women fall while running away, but there are a few good gore effects that are quite well done and worth the attention..

The editing is consistent with the original, and there is even some archival footage of Jason as a boy, his mom (Betsey Palmer, as they did in 2001’s Jason X) and even Alice thrown into the mix during flashbacks.

And what about Jason? Well, he is played by the rightfully imposing and oddly named Mike Bytheway (I’m thinking a made up name; if not, my apologies). He has Jason’s mannerisms down pretty well, even the doggy-style head nodding to the side in piqued interest.

The thing about films like this is that they, well for lack of a better term, tread on sacred ground to many followers of the original. In that way, despite the flaws, they definitely succeed. This is a well-handled homage in its loyalty and detail.

Sunday, January 5, 2014

VoD Review: Easter Casket

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films Blog, 2014
Images from the Internet


Easter Casket
Directed, shot, edited and scored by Dustin Wayde Mills
Dustin Mills Productions
80 minutes, 2013

Holidays are definitely horror fodder. Just off the top of my head there is New Year's Evil (1980), Valentine (2001), ThanksKilling (2009), and of course the entire Halloween franchise. Christmas is practically a subgenre that is especially potent with the likes of Silent Night Deadly Night (1984), Santa’s Slay (2005), Bloody Christmas (2012) and Caesar and Otto’s Deadly Xmas (2012).

Now Easter gets the focus of director and writer Dustin Wayde Mills. In his premise, the Easter Bunny is named Tammuz, based on a god older than the West’s construct, who is angered by the Catholic religion now planning to do away with anything that doesn’t have to do with the Resurrection directly, including peeps, the bunny, and chocolate. He is smokin’ mad and out to take down God and his churches (especially Catholic). Is this part of the “War on Catholics” that’s in the news (especially around Christmas)? Probably not, any more than the one film by Kevin Smith I can tolerate, Dogma (1999), which is excellent.

The bunny isn’t some warm, fuzzy creature, but is rather a nasty little puppet voiced with pseudo-Bronx-dialect aplomb by the director. Anyone familiar with Mills knows that puppets make appearances in one form or another in all his pictures, and there are plenty here. The pink, bug-eyed creature with the sharp front teeth is a master at the one liner, as is many other villains, such as Freddy and fellow holiday puppet creature, Turkie (from the aforementioned ThanksKilling series).

I have a theory about this film, and if I’m wrong, I welcome Dustin to tell me so. Know that I mean this complementary: It seems to me that Easter Casket is an 80-minute experiment. What I mean by that is there is a whole medley of techniques being used almost to see if they work or not. For example, there is motion capture, green screen, and animation that are on a whole new level from what I’ve seen in a Mills film before. While some of it works better than others (for example, some of the green screen looks like, well, green screen), but even I know that growth comes from experience, and if Mills is going to try new things to improve his craft, why not do it in a feature that we can all enjoy? And this really is a fun film from beginning to end. My only complaint, and this is minor, is that at the very beginning and the very end, it’s really hard to make out what Tammuz is saying, be it the echo of the church or slowed down to the point of “say what?”

Josh Eal
There is a lot of borrowing from other sources here. Think of films like Constantine (2005), Lost Souls (2000) or End of Days (1999), where a warrior goes to battle with the devil of some sort or another, and you get the mood of it Martial Arts expert Josh Eal does a bang-up job as the stoic church soldier leading the crusade, sent by the mega-Pope (voice actor supreme Steve Rimpici), in a floating head reminiscent of God in Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975). Then of course there are the many references to Bugs Bunny (my idol when I was growing up). There are a couple of nods to Xtro (1983), right down to the sound effects, Eal’s suit and armor reminiscent of the later Lost in Space (1998), and an ending act right out of Mills’ own Puppet Monster Massacre (2010). Even killer rabbits are not unfamiliar, with the likes of MP and the Holy Grail (“Jesus Christ, that rabbit is dynamite!”) and Night of the Lepus (1972)

Errin R. Ryan
As the female lead, Erin R. Ryan shows she is game, and why she is a solid contender up-and-coming scream queen. She’s strong and fierce, cute as a button with strong jaw and toothsome smile, and may I say in the least creepy way possible, a slammin’ body, which we get to see often and thoroughly. She definitely rocks the Catholic schoolgirl uniform (not one of my fantasies, but nevertheless…). Ryan manages to take her role, and apply various emotions effectively, from strong to frail, taking what could have been a gratuitous part and making something out of it. This is the second film in which I’ve seen her (2013’s The Ballad of Skinless Pete, also by Mills), and look forward to more.

There is a bit of heavy-handedness about penis-obsessed priests (Jason Crowe and Mills), but as a non-Catholic, I found it quite humorous. In fact, this really is quite the funny and fun film. Even when it tries perhaps a tad too hard, it still works, especially if my “film as exercise” premise is correct.

In case you’re wondering, there is a lot of gore – both digi and appliance – and nudity, all enjoyable (though I wonder about the motivation behind the heavily tattooed nun stripping).

Due to seeing this as a screener rather than on DVD, I wonder about the commentary. Mills always does a decent one, and with so much envelope stretching of techniques, I would have loved to have heard his thoughts and ideas.

No, this isn’t a perfect film, but I have learned over the years, indie or major, there is no such thing, and to be sincerely honest, I enjoyed this more than some of the blockbusters that have come up recently. It is worth checking out for its humor, its audacity, and its technological strivings. Kudos, Dustin.


Thursday, January 2, 2014

Favorites and Not Favorites of 2013

Text © Richard Gary / IndieHorrorFilms, 2014
Images from the Internet                            

Truthfully, I think Best Of and Worst Of lists are full of shit. It is just so subjective that who cares who the particular gatekeeper is, using terms of absolute just seems too hyperbolic and un-General Semantic.

However, I am totally comfortable with the terms Favorites and Not Favorites, which is more acknowledging of what is actually being stated. Splitting hairs? Don’t care. Sometimes a Favorite can actually be a not great film, but incredibly enjoyable. Similarly, a Not Favorite can technically be well made, but either doesn’t touch me or seems to fail its purpose.

There will be no mainstream films listed here, as they get enough press (e.g., Evil Dead, World War Z). Truly indie, DIY cinema needs and deserves more attention, and that is the point of this blog, innit.

Also, I think when dealing with the indie film scene, it is important not to just get locked into year of release, because many were filmed over years due to budget constraints, are just getting distributed recently, or due to the lack of availability (or even knowledge they exist), they may not come across my vision in the year of release. Instead, my parameter is that these are the ones that are my “… That I’ve Seen This Year.”

With each film, I will link it to the review so you can find information on where to see the film, and their trailers. With one exception, this is in no particular order other than alphabetical. The most important thing to remember is that this is my opinion, not fact, so please, everyone, don’t take anything personally one way or the other.

2 Hours
Directed by Michael Ballif
The only short on the list, coming in at just under half an hour, 2 Hours focuses in on the main character, who has been bitten by a zombie and has that length of time to find a group that may have a cure before becoming a ghoul himself. Using first and third person cameras angles, inner deteriorating narrative, and some wicked SFX and gore, this is worth checking out, especially since you can find it for free on YouTube
[Reviewed HERE]

The Ballad of Skinless Pete
Directed (etc.) by Dustin Wayde Mills
The director of such enjoyable films (seriously) as Puppet Monster Massacre and Night of the Tentacles, Mills reaches a new level with this sorta-kinda retelling of The Fly. Dustin is dedicated to his craft, that is certain, and with an often recycled cast that has become comfortable with each other, such as his stalwart Brandon Salkil, he is comfortable making us at ease (in a good way) in ways the body functions. His female cast is usually realistic looking women who are not afraid to show it all, and of course there is always puppetry in some evil form or another. I always look forward to new releases by Mills.
[Reviewed HERE]

Directed by Richard Griffin
By far my favorite film of the year. Griffin, known for such stunning genre stretchers as The Disco Exorcist, has reached a career high (so far) with this one. Most of his films are comedies, but this one is solid black and white noir that is creepy from beginning to end. He also gets some stunning performances from his cast, including a wonderful dramatic turn by Debbie Rochon, usually known for horror sex comedies. The story of an isolated group in an urban setting as it spirals into implosion is claustrophobic and riveting. Woody Allen has repeatedly tried to switch from comedies to more serious faire, but hasn`t yet succeeded. Griffin, however, has with this one.
[Reviewed HERE]

House of Bad
Directed by Jim Towns
More of a crime / murder / slasher mystery than outright horror, this tale of a trio of sisters from the wrong side of the cabin who are holed up and on the lam never lets up. Their shady past invariably catches up to them as they disintegrate as a unit, until all hell breaks loose. The cast, consisting mostly of the three main characters, is edgy and unyielding, making this an intense feature that is worthy of the big screen. Their outdoorsy setting is just a cover for the concrete in the hearts of those involved. In short, it’s a blast.
[Reviewed HERE]

Directed by Neil Meschino
Honestly, this film is more fun that great, but it is a lot of fun. A gooey joy ride from beginning to end, it would actually make a fine joint feature with The Ballad of Skinless Pete and/or Street Trash (1987), though the tones are quite different. This is a goofy comedy with some over-the-top acting, a storyline that is somewhat implausible, and just chock full of great effects. It doesn’t get boring for a second, even if it’s for ridiculous reasons. A great party film.
[Reviewed HERE]

Murder University
Directed by Richard Griffin
This is the second feature on this list by this director. It is a slasher comedy, but it has some solid acting, good writing including some original and unexpected moments in the genre, and is sharp as a tack on production. The gore level balanced with the humor is at just the right amount and looks great, without beating you over the head with it (pun intended). The story is about a shy guy who ends up at a college where many, many, many mysterious murders occur. It is a fine mix of humor, smarts, and sharp objects.
[Reviewed HERE]

Directed by Usama Alshaibi
Artsy fartsy cinema is not something usually expected in indie horror, but this one has bite, in a BDSM mode. We follow a dominatrix of Islamist background through Chicago as she tortures clients, has conversations with taxi drivers in apparently neverending snow, and in a very subtle touch, is being haunted by a djinn. There is no blood or gore, but it is kind of uncomfortable watching real domination scenes with naked men being tortured for cash (that spiked heel in the scrotum, oy, just not my cuppa). But on the other hand, under Alshaibi’s helm, the visuals and spirituality that surround the story is simply beautiful. Again, this is not an outright The Haunting of [fill in the gap] mode, but it is much more understated and delicate, exactly opposite of the lifestyle shown which can overshadow it (i.e., what you’re like bound to remember more).
[Reviewed HERE]

Not Favorites

Bad Meat
Directed by Lulu Jamen
Sadly, this is an absolute mess. A project that was started and not completed was revived when some of the actors became known through their television series work, so they pieced it together into an incoherent mess. The story of camp counselors who become infected by some kind of sexual rabies through, well, bad meat looks like it could have been a very fun ride, from the footage that was shot, and that’s what makes this so pitiful. Nothing is explained, key complete sections are obviously missing, and fates of characters are left hanging in the wind as one minute they’re there and the next, what? I actually thought there was something wrong with my DVD and that it was skipping until I read other reviews (I almost never do this) to find that, yep, that’s the film. Really, really sad and pathetic.
[Reviewed HERE]

Fear the Forest
Directed (etc.) by Matthew Bora
There is definitely a fun level of this Bigfoot on the murderous prowl flick, but it is bogged down by some terrible writing, plot black holes, some mediocre acting, and a really bad costume. If this was a comedy, it would have worked better and be more…accommodating to the questions it raises, but as a serious horror film, it just does not reach its potential.
[Reviewed HERE]

Iron Doors
Directed by Stephen Manuel
There are a lot of festival awards that have been linked to this film, including best film, best actor, etc., but it left me totally cold. Yes, it’s shot well, and the acting is fine, but I felt no connection to either of its characters, there is no explanation for the events or why it is happening, and the questions it raises left me disinterested rather than curious. It has the same isolation vibe as most of 1997’s Cube, but without the gore, or story really. This is a perfect case of what I was talking about in the introduction regarding a film that is technically fine, but does not engage me.
[Reviewed HERE]

Sexsqatch: The Legend of Blood Stool Creek
Directed by Chris Seaver
This may sound like an oxymoron, but despite it being included here as not being a good film, it is still a fun one. The characters are moronic, the writing is WTF, and the dialog ranges from dodgy to hysterical. Actually, I think this one did reach its goal of trying to be a goofy mess, but where they fail is the lack of a real story, and the use of sex is more of a tease than actuality, as you never see any body parts (other than ample cleavage, and boob grabs). The sex appears only in talk (such as, and this is a paraphrase, “Oh, last night we really went at it”). Fun but unfocused and way too meandering for its own good, and despite it being in this column, this could be an indecent way to waste some time.
[Reviewed HERE]