Review: Lycanimator

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2020

Images from the Internet

Lycanimator

Directed by Sébastien Godin

C-Word Productions; Melting Man Films; Wild Eye Releasing; MVD Entertainment

41 minutes, 2018 / 2020

www.facebook.com/Lycanimator

www.wildeyereleasing.com

www.mvdentertainment.com

Just going in, merely by the title, I’m going to predict this is about a (green) formula that turns people into werewolves. That’s what the combo title seems to imply, mashing lycanthropy and the title of the 1985 Stuart Gordon (d. 2020, RIP) classic, The Re-Animator.

First off, it is important to know that this film is short. I mean, the story part clocks in at just over 30 minutes, with almost eight minutes of slow crawl credits, stills with the actor’s names, and a brief Marvel Universe-esque tag at the end. It probably could have been cobbled together with three others to make it a feature-length anthology. But y’know what, that’s okay, it’s the story that counts, and let’s get on to it.

A bunch of friends take a trip to stay at a secluded house. We don’t get to learn much about the history of these two couples and the third wheel (classic trope), but we sure get an idea of their personalities.

Jonathan E. Smith

First off, there’s milquetoast Jeff (Jonathan E. Smith). I don’t know about this guy, as he looks pretty young, wears a lot of eyeliner, and his hair is dyed black while his scrabbly beard is either blond or red. Mostly, he is a buzzkill, seeming always negative. His girlfriend is May (Cayt Feinics… wait, pronounced cat phoenix? It's probably Kate). She is a tattooed gal who is mostly in control of the relationship, but seems to put up with Jeff’s nonsense. The second couple is Brian (Kii Hornick) and Nikki (Briana Wyman). Brian is a tall, thin and violent bully and a total douche tough guy to everyone, especially Nikki. Oh yeah, you hope from early on that he will be part of the body count. Nikki is a cute, multi-pierced redhead who for some reason also puts up with her boyfriend. The last is Allie, who organized the get-together; we never see her sober, so I know nothing about her except, “Oo-hoo, par-taaay.”

Essentially what this film does is it takes the usual first act, where we are introduced to the characters, and truncates the standard first 20 minutes or so into about 5 minutes. In that time, we are also presented with the standard “warning older man” character, Niven (Scream King and filmmaker Joel D. Wynkoop, who has been in films like Clownado, Dreaming Purple Neon, $kumbags, and the classic Creep, most of which were reviewed on this blog) who in this case, is more of a key to the story than just an ignored sideman.

Joel D. Wynkoop

The secluded house (as opposed to a cabin in the woods) that our jolly travelers have rented to spend the weekend has a dark secret past concerning a Herbert West-ish scientist who has invented the (yes, green, albeit not florescent) formula for, well, you know, and has conveniently left some of it in a jar in the basement (rather than a book that raises demons). When one of our intrepid quintet meets up with the goo, we go to act two and body-count city.

The creature looks both cool and silly at the same time. We’re definitely dealing with miniscule budgets, and it’s so obviously a person in a mask with a costume cobbled together, but because the filmmakers just accepted it for what it is, I believe so should we in cases like this (one of the joys of non-$$ filmmaking, in my opinion). I mean, the beastie is no An American Werewolf in London or Dog Soldiers creature, but you get what you get, if you get what I mean. There is a decent head-only version (for biting) that looks cool, designed by the one-and-only puppet master, Dustin Mills.

Lots of cameos abound in this short piece, most of them literally phoned in. In other words, they appear merely as voices usually on the telephone, such as filmmaker James Balsamo, actor Michael O’Hear, and 1980s Italian actor Giovanni Lombardo Radice (who appeared in films by Argento and Fulci, among others).

There is some interesting editing and visual FX thrown in, such as the gratuitous cameo scene with Niven and truck driver Ben (cult director Todd Sheets) – despite terrible sound quality – as Niven grabs hold of a Bowie knife. The gore, however, is all practical SFX, rather than digital.

There is also a bit of subtle humor that runs throughout, such as when the werewolf thingy is chasing one of our campers, it stops to close the pocket door to the room. Wait, what? My fave though, is a line from Officer Tony (Alberto Giovannelli): “Sweet Christmas Jesus on toast!”

The extras are few, but nice. There are selected trailers (though not for this film), a 4-minute Making Of that focuses in on the director that is short and sweet, and the inclusion of one of Godin’s 13-minute shorts, “Fleshflower.” In it, a young woman is dying, I am assuming, as she is bleeding out her mouth profusely. She eats from a mysterious flower with dire effects. It’s a nice piece with some really artistic editing and minimalist sound.

Review of Film Short: Attack of the Killer Chickens

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2016

Images from the Internet

Attack of the Killer Chickens

Written and directed by Genoveva Rossi

Cluck, Cluck Productions / Impersonation Films

6:23 minutes, 2015

www.facebook.com/attackofthekillerchickens

There is a lesson to be learned from the likes of Gilligan’s Island and Welcome Back Kotter, and it is simply this: if you’re going to go silly, go mad, batshit silly. Happily, Genoveva Rossi and crew have taken that to heart in Rossi’s first directorial outing. The story, spoofing the Planet of the Apes franchise from what I gather from the catch phrase (“It’s the dawn of a new age…a chicken age…”), but it’s more Hens from Space as cheesy and fun chicken puppets start to attack humans in a plot to take over the world. Introduced to a couple (Rossi and Pamela Martin) at the opening, they – and we – come to learn through a hyperactive newscast that chickens, who outnumber humans on Earth, are rising up to avenge their murdered fowl sisters (and brothers). They are becoming more human-like, in an Animal Farm kind of way, thanks to a talking (rooster?) leader (also reminds me of a Monty Python’s Flying Circus sketch about an intelligent sheep named Harold).  

Genoveva Rossi and some of her killer chickens

Anyhoo, in its acceptance of its own absurdity, it’s much easier to just take it as it lays (pun intended), and just have fun with it. The puppets are absurd and obvious, the gore is daftly fun, and the mood – especially the scenes with Mr. Hush himself, rock writer Edward X. Young – are especially enjoyably ridiculous. Only thing missing is Graham Chapman’s Colonel coming through and interrupting the action.

There is a history of killer poultry, such as Turkie in ThanksKilling (2009), with a similar level of insanity and puppet fowl, but here it's a bit closer to Night of the Living Dead (1968) mass attacks than a single, possessed gobbler. Turkie was profane, but the chickens in this film are more urbane, if that is a suitable way of putting it.

In case this isn’t clear, I really enjoyed all 6+ minutes of this goofy excursion. I look forward to the deep-voiced Rossi picking up the directorial helm again, if she can find the time through her numerous acting credits, as this is just so entertaining.

Promo:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WzAl8xBN3Do

Review: Bite School

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2015
Images from the Internet

Bite School                         

Written, produced, directed and edited (among others) by James Balsamo
Acid Bath Productions
94 minutes, 2015
www.acidbathproductions.org
www.facebook.com/biteschoolmovie
https://vimeo.com/ondemand/biteschool

In a world where indie filmmakers are trying to be the new Spielberg or Scorsese, or possibly even a Craven or Carpenter, James Balsamo seems to be aiming at best towards Landis’ The Kentucky Fried Movie (1977), though it would probably be more accurate to say Abbott and Costello or the Three Stooges, with him playing all the key parts, and usually in tight black tee-shirts to show off the “guns.”

Now, there’s two ways to read that paragraph, and if you’re not reading it in the complimentary way, well, you’re mistaken. Balsamo’s films are rude, crude, and full of pulchritude. In other words, they’re fun. Now, there are some A-listers who follow the rude-to-be-rude-to-be-cool rule, such as Seth Rogan and his ilk; personally, I find Balsamo’s stuff way more enjoyable because although it’s pretty obvious he (and the cast) is having fun, it’s not just working hard to reaching goofiness to be goofy, Balsamo’s films are just, well, goofy.

While he’s definitely an auteur and has his own “signatures,” each film has a unique idea at the base of it, and as it follows that thread, everyone and everything is jumping into the fray. One way to look at it is that he leans more to the School of It Don’t Matter (writing, acting, etc.); it’s more about the whole ride.

After a fun animated credits with a really off-key Robert Palmer homage called “Addicted to Blood,” we are introduced to Tony Canoni by Judy Tenuda and her “reality show,” Lifestyles of the Rich and Obnoxious. He’s a narcissistic rich twit (think Hiltons or Kardashians) who cares only about weed, sex, and, well, that’s about it. His girlfriend, Cookie (Sarah Martin), is an obnoxious golddigger twit.

James Balsamo and HG Lewis

After one misdeed too many, Tony’s grandfather (a stumbling Hershell Gordon Lewis, the Mass Market Maven of Florida, who is better known for single-handedly inventing the gore genre by directing the likes of Blood Feast [1963] and Two Thousand Maniacs [1964] ) cuts him out of the family’s fortune unless he gets an edu-ma-cation in the form of a GED. This leads to Cookie leaving him (no loss), being kicked out of his mansion, and asking a number of cameo metal musicians – and Ron Jeremy – for a mere $100,000 to help him get by.

After saving a man from being killed by the Lesbian Mafia (no comment from me) due to his owning them $30K, he talks the troubled and stereotypical gay guy, George (Paul Fears) into letting him stay on his couch in exchange for paying off his debt when he earns his degree and is reunited with his fortune. The apartment is shared by George’s father, the angry and also stereotypical Asian Mr. Woo (Vincent Leong). Tony and George both sign up for the GED class, led by Mr. Fleck (a very wooden, yet humorous Roy Frumkes; he wrote the classic 1987 flesh-melting Street Trash), who gets to spout lines like: “Let me assure you George, a GED is your best weapon against militant lesbians.”

Mandy Cat Kitana

Meanwhile, there is a concurrent double story about a nasty vampire, Gregor (Billy Walsh, who played the main villain in Balsamo’s I Spill Your Guts in 2012) biting assorted people (yeah, mostly women, just like in the Hammer days), and a very diminutive (4’11”) yet sexy and busty vampire princess named Vicky (Mandy Cat Kitana), who hangs out in front of the telley smoking weed with a Teddy-like vampire bat puppet named Spat who talks in a high-squeaky voice (Balsamo?). She’s bored after all these years and so also signs into a night (of course) GED class. The same one as…yep, you guessed it.

As time goes on, the stories continue to collide more and more until the meld into one very confusing but enjoyable mish-mash. Vampires be coming outta da yin-yang by the end, some of them showing ample cleavage – especially high priestess Elizabeth (played by Veronica Freeman) – others resembling classic Romero zombies but with fangs. Then when Elizabeth turns into a two headed vampire bat creature with boobs and a serpent’s tail puppet that, well, a brief description doesn’t – er – bite into it.

There are three constants in a Balsamo film, and I’m grateful for all of them. First, there is the homage to other films, such as a very nice nod to Roddy Piper, especially as this was filmed about the time he passed away. There’s also a bits from Rodriguez’s Desperado (1995) and the great kung fu classic The Flying Guillotine (1976; aka Du bi quan wang da po xue di zi). Of course, he also tips the hat toward many other directors and styles, such as the aforementioned zombie vampires, and even himself, as he has Spat watching a television promo for his own as yet non-existing sequel, I Spill Your Guts 2, as well as some wacky other ads and fake TV clips.

Frank "Fuckin'" Mullen

Second, there are the cameos. It’s kind of a blink-of-the-eye-and-miss-it kind of thing, or many times it’s a matter of who’s that now? For me, it’s especially true of the death metal musicians, as it’s not a genre that speaks to me. There’s also a bunch of indie film actors relatively known, famous, and infamous, such as those mentioned before, Roberto Lombardi who is making a nice niche in fan films with himself as an effective Freddy Kruger, scream queen Genoveva Rossi, genre collector turned actor John Link, John Dugan (the grandpa in the original Texas Chain Saw Massacre in 1974), porn star Jasmin St. Claire, off-beat Other musician David Peel, and many others. As I’ve said before, Balsamo goes to a lot of horror and music cons across the country, and films little clips with the actors and finds a way to include it in the story: Butch Patrick – wearing a Herman Munster tee – is a perfect example here. Then there is always Carmine Capobianco, who has great comedy timing, and especially Frank Mullen; I’m a fan of the guy, as I’ve said before. He should be in the cable series version of The Wolf of Wall Street.

Last of this list is the humor, mostly of the lower kind, but there are so many gems included that it pays to listen as some of them zing by. A good example of this kind of wit is when after someone demeans Tony, he says, “Do you know who I am?!” The guy responds with a derisive, “This is New York. No one gives a fuck who you are.” Another great and easily missed one is an acquaintance running into Tony stating, “I haven’t seen you since you took that tropical vacation to Vancouver!”

Gore appears often, albeit cartoonish (that’s okay, the whole film is a cartoon, in a way), there’s lots of flesh (wouldn’t complain about more, though), and many of the effects are laughable to the point where you’d almost expect them to be in a Japanese television program. My one complaint, though, is the sound is uneven and sometimes over-modulated to the point of fuzzy. Still, I’ll take it as part of the whole.

So, here’s a true, digressive story: I had to stop watching the film about half way through because of various reasons (not that I wanted to, just life), and planned to finish it the next day. That night I dreamed that I was hanging out with Balsamo (as himself, though I have never actually met him in person), and we were sitting on a couch talking about indie horror films and the Ramones. There are lots of shots of him sitting on a sofa in his films, so it’s no wonder. I don’t do weed, drink much or listen to metal, but as obnoxious as his characters tend to be, this dream shows that he still comes across as someone likeable on a deeper level. That says a lot to me, considering I wouldn’t want to get near any of his characters.

Go watch this film, and have a laugh; whether with it or at it, it’s all good.

 

Why I’m a Fan:

Review: Easter Casket

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films Blog, 2014
Images from the Internet

 

Easter Casket

Directed, shot, edited and scored by Dustin Wayde Mills
Dustin Mills Productions
80 minutes, 2013
www.Facebook.com/DustinMillsProductions
www.DMPStudios.com
http://dmp.storenvy.com

Holidays are definitely horror fodder. Just off the top of my head there is New Year's Evil (1980), Valentine (2001), ThanksKilling (2009), and of course the entire Halloween franchise. Christmas is practically a subgenre that is especially potent with the likes of Silent Night Deadly Night (1984), Santa’s Slay (2005), Bloody Christmas (2012) and Caesar and Otto’s Deadly Xmas (2012).

Now Easter gets the focus of director and writer Dustin Wayde Mills. In his premise, the Easter Bunny is named Tammuz, based on a god older than the West’s construct, who is angered by the Catholic religion now planning to do away with anything that doesn’t have to do with the Resurrection directly, including peeps, the bunny, and chocolate. He is smokin’ mad and out to take down God and his churches (especially Catholic). Is this part of the “War on Catholics” that’s in the news (especially around Christmas)? Probably not, any more than the one film by Kevin Smith I can tolerate, Dogma (1999), which is excellent.

Tammuz

The bunny isn’t some warm, fuzzy creature, but is rather a nasty little puppet voiced with pseudo-Bronx-dialect aplomb by the director. Anyone familiar with Mills knows that puppets make appearances in one form or another in all his pictures, and there are plenty here. The pink, bug-eyed creature with the sharp front teeth is a master at the one liner, as is many other villains, such as Freddy and fellow holiday puppet creature, Turkie (from the aforementioned ThanksKilling series).

I have a theory about this film, and if I’m wrong, I welcome Dustin to tell me so. Know that I mean this complementary: It seems to me that Easter Casket is an 80-minute experiment. What I mean by that is there is a whole medley of techniques being used almost to see if they work or not. For example, there is motion capture, green screen, and animation that are on a whole new level from what I’ve seen in a Mills film before. While some of it works better than others (for example, some of the green screen looks like, well, green screen), but even I know that growth comes from experience, and if Mills is going to try new things to improve his craft, why not do it in a feature that we can all enjoy? And this really is a fun film from beginning to end. My only complaint, and this is minor, is that at the very beginning and the very end, it’s really hard to make out what Tammuz is saying, be it the echo of the church or slowed down to the point of “say what?”

Josh Eal

There is a lot of borrowing from other sources here. Think of films like Constantine (2005), Lost Souls (2000) or End of Days (1999), where a warrior goes to battle with the devil of some sort or another, and you get the mood of it Martial Arts expert Josh Eal does a bang-up job as the stoic church soldier leading the crusade, sent by the mega-Pope (voice actor supreme Steve Rimpici), in a floating head reminiscent of God in Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975). Then of course there are the many references to Bugs Bunny (my idol when I was growing up). There are a couple of nods to Xtro (1983), right down to the sound effects, Eal’s suit and armor reminiscent of the later Lost in Space (1998), and an ending act right out of Mills’ own Puppet Monster Massacre (2010). Even killer rabbits are not unfamiliar, with the likes of MP and the Holy Grail (“Jesus Christ, that rabbit is dynamite!”) and Night of the Lepus (1972)

Errin R. Ryan

As the female lead, Erin R. Ryan shows she is game, and why she is a solid contender up-and-coming scream queen. She’s strong and fierce, cute as a button with strong jaw and toothsome smile, and may I say in the least creepy way possible, a slammin’ body, which we get to see often and thoroughly. She definitely rocks the Catholic schoolgirl uniform (not one of my fantasies, but nevertheless…). Ryan manages to take her role, and apply various emotions effectively, from strong to frail, taking what could have been a gratuitous part and making something out of it. This is the second film in which I’ve seen her (2013’s The Ballad of Skinless Pete, also by Mills), and look forward to more.

There is a bit of heavy-handedness about penis-obsessed priests (Jason Crowe and Mills), but as a non-Catholic, I found it quite humorous. In fact, this really is quite the funny and fun film. Even when it tries perhaps a tad too hard, it still works, especially if my “film as exercise” premise is correct.

In case you’re wondering, there is a lot of gore – both digi and appliance – and nudity, all enjoyable (though I wonder about the motivation behind the heavily tattooed nun stripping).

Due to seeing this as a screener rather than on DVD, I wonder about the commentary. Mills always does a decent one, and with so much envelope stretching of techniques, I would have loved to have heard his thoughts and ideas.

No, this isn’t a perfect film, but I have learned over the years, indie or major, there is no such thing, and to be sincerely honest, I enjoyed this more than some of the blockbusters that have come up recently. It is worth checking out for its humor, its audacity, and its technological strivings. Kudos, Dustin.

 

Review: ThanksKilling 3

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films Blog, 2013
Images from the Internet

                            

ThanksKilling 3
Directed by Jordan Downey
MVD Visual                      
99 minutes, 2013
www.Facebook.com/thankskillingmovies
www.thankskillingmovies.com
www.MVDvisual.com

The original comedy-horror ThanksKilling (2009) grows on you, if you are inclined to extreme low-budget horror, like me. You might even find yourself using its catch phrase, “Gobble-gobble, motherfucker!” Its premise was that a killer talking/cursing turkey named Turkie was conjured by some angry Native Americans to kill the Pilgrims, and then resurrected by some 30-year-old high school students to raise havoc in modern times [reviewed HERE].

This Part 3 is “the first movie to skip its own sequel,” according to the DVD cover and publicity. Well, that’s only partly true. Perhaps this is confusing and out of context, but in this one, which is totally different in tone and plot, starts with a sci-fi scene from the DVD ThanksKilling 2 (brilliant catch phrase: “In space, no one can hear you baste”). We then learn that all copies of that second film have been burned, sans one.

We are then re-introduced to Turkie, who is now living a suburban life with a turkey hen wife (with curlers in her comb!) and little tom. Of course, all of them are puppets, as Turkie was in the first (and razed second) film. When he learns about the destruction of the first sequel he knows he must set off to fetch the one copy to be able to control the world (che?).

Before I go on, I should state at this point that many of the characters in this film are puppets (unlike the first where it was only Turkie), including human and galactic characters. Sure this isn’t the first puppet horror/fantasy piece of cinema, such as The Dark Crystal (1982), Meet the Feebles (1989), or even the more recent Monster Puppet Massacre (2010; reviewed HERE), but it plays well into the genre. Besides, it’s that many less actors to pay and/or feed on a small budget.

But the plot is only starting. We still have to meet all the other main characters, such as a hippie-type little girl being from another planet named Yomi (a puppet who looks like an escapee from Fraggle Rock) who is literally looking for her mind, Uncle Donny (Daniel Usaj), who created an infomercial product, dreams of opening his own amusement center called, what else, ThanksgivingLand, and wears a white British wig (as opposed to Whig, I suppose). His brother, Jefferson (Joe Hartzler, who is arguably the most natural actor of the bunch) also wears a wig and wants a long pike (rather than a butter knife taped to a stick) so he can be security at the Park. Their wheelchair-bound granny (a life-sized puppet that looks like the anti-Israel Helen Thomas [d. 2013], who was a former and long-time member of the White House Press Corps) is a foul-mouthed rapper named Flowis. Then there is the robot guardian named Muff and his mustached bisexual puppet worm that sits on his shoulder (and is actually in charge of the two) named Rhonda, who makes bad worm puns. Plus there is a wizened and wise old turkey that’s a mixture of Obi Wan and Gandalf.

Much like The Lord of the Ring, the film consists of the search – or actually the possession – of the fictional second part of the film. There’s lots of elements of gore and horror, as well as light fantasy, dark fantasy, sci-fi, and a substantial amount comedy, most of it groaners. There will be loss and there will be redemption, but at what cost? C’mon, no one cares, because this is actually a joy ride where we expect more candy than tofu.

Does it deliver? Well, I do admit I liked the more down to earth original better, which is saying something since that one cost $3500, and this one was $100,000 raised through a Kickstarter campaign. I have to posit that part of me wishes this was a totally different film than a Turkie one, but I also understand that building on an existing fan base is important when starting out.

Technically, it really is a much better film. The sets are better designed, the lighting and editing sharper, and Turkie looks more menacing. There are plenty of WTF moments, such as when you see from a fly’s point of view, or sudden cartoons popping up, as with the first one, but it feels like there’s something missing. Don’t get me wrong, I do recommend this and especially the original if this kind of broad and raucous film is your speed, It’s just a bit too, I don’t know, linearly challenged. There is too much going on, perhaps. In the first, even though it was bizarre, the story of a turkey killing kids had a strong thread (including when someone didn’t recognize that Turkie was not her father because he was wearing the dad's hat and a Groucho mask). Now there are shorter and esoteric set pieces rather than a punsters dream.

Oh, there is still puns abound, that’s for certain. In fact, built into the viewing is a drinking game, where you are suggested to have a shot or a drink of beer when certain events happen, such as Turkie’s one liners, Rhonda’s worm word games, or when Flowis sniffs her fingers.

There are lots of extras, such as two commentary tracks by the two creators of the series (one on planning that is interesting in parts, and one on the more technical aspects of the creation of sets, puppets, lighting, and staging which was a bit more interesting. I would have liked a third that talked about the story more. Other extras include the full length infomercial that we see in the film, a Flowis rap video called “Sprinkle of Wrinkle,” a stills gallery, the rules of the drinking game, a long making-off documentary which is essentially the building of the miniaturized set of Turkie’s home at the opening, and two of the film’s trailers.

I would especially recommend this to those who have seen part one, but honestly, I am going to make an assumption that most of who will watch this already have. So enjoy, and if you’re impressed, watch out for the new Kickstarter campaign that’s bound to crop up.