Review: Bullets of Justice

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2020
Images from the Internet

Bullets of Justice
Directed by Valen Milev
Zenit IT
79 minutes, 2020
https://www.facebook.com/BLOOD-Pi-1475601389429732

Post-apocalyptic dystopian future features are becoming more and more popular, though usually in the sci-fi (the danger of technology) or zombie universes. This film, shot in Bulgaria with local actors (with one cameo exception, noted below) spoken mostly in English and some Bulgarian (I believe) with subtitles, takes a different, action-based approach. It was directed by Valen Milev, who more famously gave us Wrong Turn 6: Last Resort (2014).

The basic premise has been told numerous times before, such as Captain America: the army intends to create a “super-soldier,” but things go awry. In this case, which takes place post-World War III, the soldiers are melded with pigs (say what?), who essentially take over the world until there are a few non-swine humans left, and the pig-soldiers are out to eradicate them through ingestion. Sort of like a pork-ified Terminator.

Doroteya Toleva, Timur Turisbekov

When our story begins 25 years later, our hero is Rob Justice (Timur Turisbekov) and his scarred assistant/lover Nina (Yana Marinova), who we see living in a shell of a city, battling some of the “Muzzles.” Y’see, them Muzzles are now the top of the food chain, with their favorite meals being of the human kind. Humanity has been caged like we do with cows and, well, the other white meat.

During the exposition by Rob to fill in the viewer what has happened, we briefly meet his father in a cameo by the great Danny Trejo (who still looks amazingly fit and gnarly for his mid-‘70s).

Meanwhile, those who are still out in the wild (as well as those captured) are physically filthy and dirt smeared. Well, so are the pigs, but in the real world we’re used to that, as pigs lay around in mud (to keep cool; they have no sweat glands, which makes one wonder about the expression, “sweating like a pig,” but I digress…). Oh, and let us not forget that there is a lot of pig shitting, the smell of which is apparently how they identify each other. Just be glad this isn’t in John Waters-style Smell-O-Rama.

Semir Alkadi

Even among the humans, there are traitors who are willing to sell out their fellow survivors to the muzzles, led in part by one of the more ridiculous characters, assassin Raphael (Semir Alkadi), who always has wind blowing through his long hair no matter where he is (and even if it affects no one else), usually wearing next to nuthin’. Sure, there’s going to be some sort of showdown between Rob and Raphael at some oink… I mean point.

Rob is part of the resistance and is sent to New York to kill “the mother,” who keeps producing all these pig mutants. Ok, let’s step aside for a sec here. This may all sound far-fetched, but hooo boy, this film is incredibly out there. Accents are thick, one muzzle has a face like a sphincter with balls under his chin that basically looks like a butt from the back whose name is, I kid you not, Benedict Asshole (Alexander Ralfietta), some time travel, and a whole lot of narrative inconsistencies. Camera glares abound and blood gets splattered on the lens. Then there is Rob’s sister and lover, a freedom fighter, Rakska (Doroteya Toleva), who has a mustache like her father (Trejo). I’m not sure if this is meant to be a dark comedy or not, but the shear level of insanity definitely had me laughing – in a good way.

Benedict Asshole

There is a lot of sex and nudity (full both male and female), and even some gay overtones here and there, though none of it is really explained. That’s the thing about this film, it is both engrossing, and yet has no problem making you scratch your head and say, “What the hell did I just see?” While we mostly view things through Rob’s experience, he’s kind of a Billy Pilgrim who has become unstuck in time, but nothing seems to be what it appears to be, and don’t look for answers. I guess the viewer has to accept it for what it is. This is also true of the accented dialog, which consists of lines like, “Bullets are always just! They are birds of justice, made of lead. If they don’t belong to you, they’ll never hurt you.” Saywhaaaaat?

CGI is used often and wonky at best, which in this case makes it humorous. Some of the multitude of people we see in a Muggle abattoir of human flesh are real, and some obviously made of rubber: light in weight and springy for tossing, but they look really good. Nearly the whole film is shot with a sepia type of lens, taking out bright colors and giving everything a brownish – again, dirty – look to it.

Did I enjoy the experience? Would I recommend it? Weeeeeeell, it’s not that easy. This film is definitely a mind-fuck, and yet there is something appealing about it in it’s inner insanity. I can accept the basic backbone to the story abut the rise of the pig soldiers, as I have read Orwell’s Animal Farm, which perhaps influenced the plot, but there are so many oddities that come and smack you on the face throughout that I would think one would need to be of a certain mindset to enjoy it. I will admit I laughed quite a bit at the inanity of certain scenes, and more because of it than not, it kept my attention. If I was a stoner – and it almost seems like it was geared in that direction – I don’t know what I’d make of it.

I would recommend it, but cautiously. It’s entertaining as hell, but equally confusing. If you’re in for a joy ride and don’t care about “sense,” yeah, you might get a kick out of it. Honestly, I did.