Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2015
Images from the Internet
Acid Bath Productions
137 minutes / 2014
www.acidbathproductions.com
www.mvdvisual.com
Rod (as in rod and reel?) Davis, played by our intrepid director, is a cop who is a rebel, ready to shoot and then ask question, and, well, a bit of a dumb douche. Mocking the older cops, not caring about anyone but himself, and way too fond of donuts and dames, he is – for the lack of a better term – not having a good steam of luck. After screwing up an extensive police sting with the help of his partner Harry Chu (Jeff Kim), among other things, he is suspended from the police force. On top of that, he’s just been kick to the curb by his girlfriend, Buffy Flenderhawk (Jennifer Banko).
Images from the Internet
Catch of the Day
Written, produced, edited and directed by James Balsamo Acid Bath Productions
137 minutes / 2014
www.acidbathproductions.com
www.mvdvisual.com
James Balsamo is a smart cookie for
someone from out on the Island (Lowng’Giland, of course). You see, he knows his
budget is smaller than a Republican’s heart (or penis), so what he does is he
goes to horror conventions to hawk his previous, fun films (reviewed HERE) and gets to meet varied and numerous
genre performers, and gets them to do a bit here and there, and then figures
out how to work it into the story.
A good example is the opening of this
film, which is a close-up of Jason Mewes (Kevin Smith’s “hetero life partner”)
ranting about the lead character, which essentially is a fun albeit pointless
moment. Still, getting him to do this was – er – cool as hell. It also explains
why the cast list goes on for miles, and there are some amazing cameos
throughout. Brilliant move, as far as I’m concerned, and more about that later.
Rod (as in rod and reel?) Davis, played by our intrepid director, is a cop who is a rebel, ready to shoot and then ask question, and, well, a bit of a dumb douche. Mocking the older cops, not caring about anyone but himself, and way too fond of donuts and dames, he is – for the lack of a better term – not having a good steam of luck. After screwing up an extensive police sting with the help of his partner Harry Chu (Jeff Kim), among other things, he is suspended from the police force. On top of that, he’s just been kick to the curb by his girlfriend, Buffy Flenderhawk (Jennifer Banko).
Yet despite all his woes in the first
act, this film is actually quite funny, and not just because of Balsamo’s self-referential
I Spill Your Guts tee, which is
doubly funny because it’s a cop wearing a slasher film shirt.
To me, one of the funniest person in
here and in most of Balsamo’s flicks is Frank Mullen, who plays the villainous golden-handed
mobster, who makes puns that would make Egghead and Catwoman from the 1966 Batman groan. Essentially every
character he plays in a Balsamo release is the same person: the hot-headed guy
who fuckin’ curses like a fuckin’ horse, ya fuckin’ mook! He makes me smile.
Which is a nice segway that brings me
to the next point, namely that this film is stuffed full of racial slurs
(especially towards Asians and directed at Chu, mostly by Davis, e.g.,
referring to themselves as “the gook and the mook”), boobs, dicks (full
frontal), rubbery guts and gore, just as rubbery fish masks and hands, and those
previously mentioned cameos up the culo.
Y’got your Johnny Legend, Nick Principe (whose performance was so strong in Collar), an absolutely hysterical turn
by the amazing Ms. Debbie Rochon, Carmine Capobianco (who was also great in The Sins of Dracula), facially tattooed
fighter Tim Dax (who’s moment is very funny), John Link, Jake “The Snake”
Roberts, pornstar/wrestler/journalist Jasmine St. Claire, many metal musicians,
and even the Candyman himself, Tony
Todd. Most of these short stints are close-ups of the person telling about how
bad a cop Davis is, and what he did to them.
Kara Hankard (Donna) and James Balsamo (Rod) |
The story is a bit of a hodgepodge: you
have your mad scientist named Ben Jackal (Edward X. Young, overacting to the
nth degree in a Dr. Strangelove kind
of homage, and who was also fun in Mold!) making cocaine and also turning people
into murderous fish mutants, a group of mobsters (led by Mullens’ “Man with the
Golden Hand” – as opposed to arm, of course) who seeks revenge against anyone
associated with Davis’ murdered cop dad (a hilarious turn by Irwin Keyes), a
possible upcoming marriage between Chu and Davis’ sister, Roxanne (the fun to
watch Shannon Mann), and the budding relationship between Davis and Roxanne’s
bestie (also the assistant for Jackal), Donna (the lovely and wide-eyed Kara
Hankard).
You may think with all these
goings-on, it may get a bit muddled. Well, yeah, but honestly that’s part of
the fun. This film had me laughing more than some mainstream comedies, and definitely
beyond anything Seth Rogan or Adam Sandler have put out in the last…well…ever. It’s
crude, it’s rude, it’s juvenile and it doesn’t really start or go anywhere; but
considering the relatively low budget we’re talking about here, it’s a joyride
all the way through its 2-hour-plus running time. Normally, I would whine about
the length, but this piece of purposeful stupidity (there is even a nod to the
kings of physical clowns, the Three Stooges) just keeps going like that battery
rabbit, and kept my attention all the way through.
Just when you think it can’t get any
weirder, suddenly there’s a Bollywood musical scene (in my mind I heard Anna
Kendricks saying “What?!”, if you get the reference). Then there is an inserted
part of the New York PRIDE parade, for no other reason than Balsamo was there
with his camera; oh, and I suppose so he could also say that he had then-Mayor
Bloomberg in his film. And a Stanley Weiner shot while the soundtrack played a
gay song about wieners? Priceless.
Speaking of the small budget, I’m a bit
baffled by one thing. I’m pretty sure a lot of this is guerilla filmmaking around
New York and Long Island locales, but there is also a large presence of real
cops interacting with Balsamo, including a SWAT team and harbor patrol. That
was super impressive!
So, with some rough edits, some
questionable acting, additional dialogue that feels ad-libbed at the moment, and
an interesting mostly-metal soundtrack, this silly-silly-silly film is a laugh
riot of childishness that had me looking forward to Balsamo’s next release, the
vampire/mafia mash-up Bite School.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKHGgo5288w
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