Review: Beyond Hell

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2020
Images from the Internet

Beyond Hell
Directed by Alan Murray
Dark Spirit Films / Indican Pictures
89 minutes, 2019 / 2020
www.beyondhellfilm.com/
www.facebook.com/beyondhellfilm

“Just say no!” was Nancy Reagan’s rallying cry in the 1980s, but films where taking any drugs leads to mayhem, be it insanity, murder or turning the user into a zombie is hardly new. For example, there were a string of anti-marijuana releases in the 1930s and ‘40s (e.g., She Shoulda Said No [1949], The Devil’s Weed [1949], and the infamous Reefer Madness [1936]). That theme still runs occasionally with the likes of Dropping Evil (2008) and Bong of the Dead (2012).

This Canadian film takes that trope and makes some sinister changes: this derivation of the drug, changa (apparently a real thing; being straight-edged, I had to look it up on Wikipedia), takes the user to literal hell. But I am getting way ahead of myself here.

We open up for the prologue in the jungles of South America where apparently indigenous native people speak perfect English and talk like professional wrestling announcers (wait…what?). It is here that this film’s version of changa originates (though in reality it is generally considered to have come from Australia… thank you Wikipedia).

Kearsten Johansson

The main protagonist, Maryssa (cute, doe-eyed Kearsten Johansson) was the good girl all through high school. Now she’s in college and wants to learn about some… tacit knowledge (life experience). Her two friends (from high school, now also in college) are the bad girl, Brooke (Natalie Jane), and Heather (Dominque Smith), who is the go-between since Maryssa and Brooke are frenemies. One could picture Heather with the good angel – Maryssa – on one shoulder and the devil – Brooke – on the other.

On the testosterone side, there are buddies Tyson (Chris Kapeleris), who is Heather’s boyfriend, and Jake (the heavily inked Sebastian Deery). Jake is the object of Brooke’s lust, but he’s into Maryssa (sort of a Ginger and Mary Ann choice). The five head off to a party, stopping off at Seth’s (Sean Rey), a dealer’s abode, to pick up said changa. While there, they try out this new drug and get shitfaced, but Maryssa alone somehow manages to get transported to another dimension (supposedly hell, I am assuming from the film’s title), where she is linked to the multi-toothed demon Belial (Gavin R. Downes) who looks like a creature out of the cult film Equinox (1970). Then the slaughter begins, slowly but surely.

Sebastian Deery

Belial starts to kill off her friends, and because she is connected to him, she can witness all the murders though she’s not physically there. The demon’s goal is the trope that if he can gather enough souls, he can enter our world at will and bring his bad demon buddies with him, to enslave and torture humanity.

The film isn’t brilliant, but then again, it is also a lot of fun. The cheese level is high, as is the blood and gore (sometimes looking good, other times cheesy). This is solid independent fare that is both cliché at times, and yet smart in that it takes some old tropes and mixes them around a bit. Again, while it has been done before, part of the fun is watching Maryssa turn from shy, sheltered girl to warrior woman to try and fight the malevolent power.

This comment has nothing to do with nothing, really, but who throws up in the toilet without lifting the seat, no matter how out of it one is, even if one misses the toilet completely? Just sayin’.

Natalie Jane

This is the director’s first feature film, other than a short, and it shows great promise. There are definitely things one can point to, such as Belial’s make-up moving every time he talks, which is hard to make out at times thanks to the effects given to his voice to make it sound “demonic.” While it’s not a comedy, there are a few moments where one cannot help but chortle at the way certain lines are spoken, or on-screen actions. But despite that, overall, it was better than I expected (and I always hope for the best), and it certainly kept my interest (and not just for the numerous topless women).

The scenes in hell are visually a bit on the dark side, but this viewer was able to make out what was happening. The end result of the storyline is a bit convoluted, but it’s still pretty satisfying, and tying it in to what is happening in the world today is a nice, intriguing twist. It also might have been good, however, to explain a bit about the Mexican god Quetzalcoatl (I have been to its temple at Teotihuacan near Mexico City), who is actually a feathered serpent, though featured in human forms here.

There was also a nice mix of both practical SFX and digital effects. And speaking of Belial’s make-up, it actually looks pretty decent for its budget. In fact, most of the creatures/demons look good. The acting varies, as one would expect, but everyone seems to be on board, which is a good thing.

One aspect I really enjoyed in the film was the Interesting transition b-roll shots between scenes, usually sped up in the style of Koyaanisqatsi: Life Out of Balance (1982). It’s bright and colorful, and works well as separation of segues from one set piece to another.

Thanks to its film boards, Canada helps produce a lot of its independent releases, unlike in the United States (anyone from the ridiculous Right want to scream socialism?), so the industry is supported, whether the film is top notch, really bad (remember The Room?), or in this case, an enjoyable exercise in a genre that is always in demand. I’m grateful to the Toronto Film Industry Arts and Entertainment Foundation, and I’m hoping this is just a stepping stone for Alan Murray to send us more fare. This release certainly lends itself to a sequel, and I look forward to it.

The film is now available on Digital HD via Apple TV, Google Play, Prime Video, FandagnoNOW, and more, and will be on DVD in mid-January.

 

Review: Reborn

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2020
Images from the Internet

Reborn
Directed by Julian Richards
New Normal Productions; Jinga Films; MVD Entertainment
77 minutes, 2018 / 2020
www.facebook.com/livingspacefilm/
www.mvdvisuals.com

I know I am not the only one to point this out: there is a cinematic history of shy, abused teenage women who develop some extraordinary psychic power and then go out on a killing spree like nobody’s business. Be it in Carrie (1976) or Firestarter (1984), or if you want to go to further extremes Species (1995) and Splice (2009), these women who are held in submission by society (such as bullying), a lone agent, or some governmental agency, get the chance to get even in extraordinary measures.

Barbara Crampton

As we learn from the prologue, a creepy medical examiner, Ken (Chaz Bono, in just the first of a multitude of really cool celebs that show up in either full or cameo roles), who likes to take pictures of dead, naked corpses, is alone in the morgue when a lightning storm sends feedback to the body of a stillborn baby girl, reviving her. So, what’s a lonely ME supposed to do?

Years later, after the credits, we are introduced to the leading characters. Statuesque Tess (Kayleigh Gilbert, throwing a Sarah Hyland vibe) is now 16 years old and basically a house prisoner of Ken, whom she thinks is her brother. Apparently, she is electrokinetic (has power over electricity), and manages to break free of her literal shackle to search for her birth mother.

Kaleigh Gilbert

Lena (the ever lovely Barbara Crampton with baby blues to kill for), an actress whose career is in decline and survives by teaching acting classes out of her abode, and her agent (Rae Dawn Chong, who I haven’t seen in a while), discuss a possible role with director Peter Bogdanovich (playing himself). It doesn’t take a higher degree and is made obvious early on to figure out that Lena is Tess’s mom. While Tess is searching for Lena, Lena is also searching for the infant body of Tess thanks to a suggestion from her psychiatrist (a cameo by 1960s-‘70s television icon, Monty Markham).

Tess integrates herself into Lena’s life without Lena’s awareness of who is sharing her space, though they both bond, for now. Here is where the story gets a bit emotionally complex, but I’m not going to give much of that away.

Michael Paré

Tess is not going to let anything stand in her way of getting what she wants. She was raised in a rough situation, so she has little patience nor a real sense of how to relate to people in general. But my question is, she’s 16 and in Los Angeles, so how does she manage to get around? She shows up in all these different places, but she obviously would not have learned to drive if she were shut up in a house. Also, she seems to intuitively know how to harness her powers all at once, without any real learning curve. If she could do this before, how would Ken not know it? Yeah, that’s how my mind works.

There is a decent body count as Tess either perceives wrongs (again, her sense of judgment is skewed by her past, and possibly teen hormones) or believes wrong is done to others she is trying to protect. This brings a police detective, Marc (Michael Paré, who was wonderfully stoic in Streets of Fire, and equally but deadly stoic here) into the story. How is it all the deaths caused by Tess, which occur all over the city, come to the desk of the same detective? Have they unfunded [sic] the cops in LA?

Chaz Bono

The acting, from scene to scene, is decent though sometimes over emoted (or in Paré’s case, understated), and while there are hardly any surprises in the storyline, there are actually a few decent jump scares to which are worth paying attention. It is always great to see Crampton as she is consistently a decent actor, as is true with the brief scenes with Markham and Chong.

While there isn’t a whole lot of bloodletting, as this is more personality driven, there are still a nice number of kills, as I said before. What I appreciate is that the deaths occur throughout the film, not just in the first 5 minutes and then the last 15 to 20 minutes.

Rae Dawn Chong

One might see this as a throwback to the 1980s, because it is so reminiscent of the video store style of filmmaking. It isn’t deep, but it’s not hyped up on adrenaline like a lot of the films are today with quicker edits, bodies piled on top of each other, and detailed extreme violence. This is a moody piece, and I can see how a younger generation growing up on franchises like Saw and Hostel would expect there to be some ultraviolence, but here the deaths are all character driven, not just because someone showed up at a party.

Gilbert has a good look for a movie villain. She plays mean-psycho pretty well, though also can come across as girlish and soft. Her height helps make her intimidating when need be, but she could be a contender for a future scream queen, if that’s her desire.

Monte Markham

Overall, I like the careful pacing and the characters, but for some reason the ending seemed to be truncated and went by too fast for me. There wasn’t enough time to built up some real tension. It is extremely rare for me to say this, but another five minutes of suspense at the right moment near the conclusion would have served the film well. However, I enjoyed the experience in general.

There are no extras other than chapters and stereo choices. The trailer is below (although not included on the disc), but please be warned if you watch it, it is filled with spoilers:

Review: The Mark of the Bell Witch

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2020
Images from the Internet

 

The Mark of the Bell Witch
Directed by Seth Breedlove
Small Town Monsters
85 minutes, 2020
www.smalltownmonsterss.com

Seth Breedlove has become a cinematic cryptid monster maven over the years, directing a number of documentaries about mysterious creatures that may or may not exist, such as Bigfoot, the Mothman and the Missouri Monster (aka Momo). A few of his releases have been reviewed on this blog; if you search for his name, you will find them.

For his latest, Breedlove dissects the Bell Witch haunting in the Appalachian Mountains of Tennessee, arguably one of the more infamous and deadly hauntings in American history. I remember learning about it as a youth from a Ripley’s Believe It or Not comic book, and it has been adapted into movies, books, and other comics over the years.

As with most adaptations, these other sources tended to be glorified versions to enhance the “scare” factor, which led to parts of the story being left out due to time. Breedlove aims to be more comprehensive. He not only has interviews with residents of the area of Adams, Tennessee (population 600), but also has the events play out with actors in black and white “flashbacks.”

Of course, there are no first-hand witnesses interviewed because, well, the events depicted are from nearly 200 years ago, in 1817 to 1821, on a farm run by John Bell, Sr. and his family. This is, however, due to its urban legend status, one of the more documented “hauntings” in American history, especially in that neck of the woods, yawl. It was first written about in M.V. Ingram’s book regarding the Bell Witch from 1894, An Authenticated History of the Famous Bell Witch.

The manifestation started slowly with knocks and raps on the walls and doors, then with strange animals like a mysterious hare (not a common rodent in that environment; as King Arthur might say, “Jesus Christ, that rabbit is dynamite!”) or a trash-talking Cerberus-type pooch with two heads (and this is way before Triumph, the insult dog).

If you are into this kind of thing, you probably know that poltergeists are attracted to young people, especially women, and this fits here as one of the victims of malevolence (hair pulling, welts, etc.) was Betsy (played by Sue Matzke), the youngest of the Bell children who was in her late pre-teens, just the right age for the spooky pokings. Perhaps it was a possession of poor Betsy? Tyler Estep, a pastor who in interviewed, says the area was ripe with Protestant revivalism at the time, which may have led to “spiritual warfare.” As a skeptic, I’m – err – skeptical.

As the power of the Witch (apparently named Kate) grew and developed a literal voice, preachers were called left and right to try and figure out what was going on, supposedly talking to the spirit. I like how Breedlove gives multiple explanations of possibilities, whether it was the curse of a neighbor on the clan, or the spirit of a disturbed Native American’s resting place, or perhaps a demon, leaving it open rather than positing an answer that would be a guess at best.

Although no mention of their works are listed, there are multiple interviews with authors, such as Timothy Henson (also the historian for Adams), John Baker Jr., and Pat Fitzhugh (The Bell Witch: The Full Account, 2000; I looked this up myself), so the connection to the legend is unclear. There are also folklorists and historians like Brandon Barker and Beau Adams, a Classics professor named Heather Moser, and the host of “Astonishing Legends,” Forrest Burgess. Again, in many cases, the link to the story is not transparent, which is arguably the weakest point of the documentary, even if their stories are interesting and occasionally far-fetched (especially the Christian and “spirituality” end of it).

The thing about any media dealing with a Cryptid topic is one can say anything, since there is little real info. Was Bigfoot circumcised? Does Mothman dislike light? Sure, why not; try proving it’s either true or not. But on the flip side of that coin, that’s also part of the appeal: it’s the mystery of the whole thing. That’s why I find it so fascinating and enjoy Breedlove’s work, including this one.

Having the story play out in black and white scenarios really boosts the tale, keeping it from getting too bogged down in talking heads by just relating the events. Smart move. Either way, John Bell Sr., died of poisoning, supposedly given to him by the Witch. Of course, I have my own thoughts, such as their slaves concocting a way to get rid of a bad master, or possibly Betsy was abused by her dear old dad and her welts  were by him – even if she was somewhat in denial – with her getting him outta da way.

That does not, however, fit with other parts of the legend, such as the apparition appearing to neighbors in their own abodes, or that one entity would migrate into multiple ones (perhaps a family), so who knows. The point is, the facts were written down by one of the Bell’s sons to start, which we hear parts through the narration of actor Lauren Ashley Carter (star of the 2013 cult classic Jug Face) and then the just grew exponentially after that, much of it written years if not decades after the “fact.” A majority of what was published was when pulp fiction was becoming popular, with the likes of the Western Tall Tales (Davy Crockett’s feats, Paul Bunyan, and Mickey Finn, to name a few) and legends of crime like Billy the Kid being fed to an audience fascinated by a new medium.

Again, it all comes down to what is real and what is not, and with cases like this, there is the speculation of the gray areas in between with possibilities and tales to be told around a campfire. Breedlove does well to collect this information, present it in an easy and palpable form, and lets the audience speculate on what might have been a rare supernatural murder.

 

Review: Pit Stop

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2020
Images from the Internet

Pit Stop (aka Acid Pit Stop)
Directed by Jason Wright
Summer Hill Entertainment; Silent Studios; Tomcat Films; MVD Entertainment
79 minutes, 2020
www.chipbakerfilms.com
www.mvdvisual.com

I am certain I am not the first (not likely not the last) to note that this film has nothing to do with the Jack Hill car racing film of the same title released in 1967 (reviewed HERE). And now, that I have completed this public service announcement, back to our feature presentation.

Callum McGuire, Megan Jenkins, Hal Hillman, Jennifer Johnson

In this British release, we meet two mid-twenties mates, stoner Paul (Hal Hillman), and practical joker / wise guy Lucio (Callum McGuire), who is a bit of an asshole. Paul has just broken up with his girlfriend Anita, and to cheer him up, Lucio is taking him to a party / rave that he organized for just that purpose.

Meanwhile, we meet two other mates, diminutive Anita (Jennifer Johnson), Paul’s ex, and Shailene and her bouncing cleavage (Megan Jenkins). Anita has just broken up with her boyfriend Paul, and to cheer her up, Shailene is taking her to the same party / rave.

The problems start when the car of the latter two literally run into the back of the former two on a less than busy road, so now they have to share a car. But first, Paul and Lucio stop off at a dealer’s house (Bruce Payne in a bad wig and an over-the-top one day’s worth of work cameo that gained him top billing) to pick up some – er – refreshments in the form of an experimental designer drug for which they don’t quite understand the dosage level. Payne does what one may just think of as the Bill Murray role.

Before long, the drug turns the party goers into starker blood-hungry and slow-moving zombies (okay, they’re not all dead, so let’s get beyond that “zombie” term strictness). For example, two topless ladies who are possibly lovers are now chomping on each other like it’s takeout at McD’s.

As the violence gets wilder, our four intrepid… schmucks?... hide out in the bathroom and have a discussion. Not that you can tell much of what they are saying; the sound quality of the film is absolutely atrocious, once the rave in in play. You can barely hear what any one is saying over the room echoes and the ambient sound (including the electronica music). The accents don’t help, either. The clam shell cover states there are English subtitles, but there are none.

Meanwhile, our four blokes are laughing it up, not taking this all too seriously, while trying to figure out a way out. On some level, this is a comedy, I gather, from certain moments, as it gets goofier as the film plays on. Or maybe it thinks it is funnier than it actually is, though there are moments that certainly made me smile.

The level of gore is decent, but far less graphic than one might expect. Bloody parts look a bit stringy and rubbery, but there is lots of blood. One thing I really liked is that the ravers look like normal people, i.e., friends of the lead characters (who are the best looking of the batch). No supermodels or of the pretty boys ilk, but all body types, from skinny to weighty, to wheelchair bound. That’s quite admirable.

Meanwhile, through the whole bloodletting, the rave music continues, and the zombies are dancing between chomping. My question is, as it was DJ-driven, who is spinning the discs? And will the two couples become couples?

The final act begins with the arrival of a gangster (Gbola Adewunm), his body guards, and some Hai Karate after-shave (I kid you not). Who will survive? Who will come back from the dead? Who will care? Considering the loss of life of their friends and acquaintances, the foursome don’t seem overly upset about that part.

The acting is generally over-done by just about everyone, and unfortunately, many of the jokes get lost in the accents and the aforementioned bad sound. Was this a good film? Generally, not really, but to be fair, there is a lot I lost in so much of the dialog being so badly recorded. Most of the third act could have been mime for what I was able to make out. I guess part of that could on me and my aging ears, but not all.

Generally, I like zombie comedies, such as Wasting Away (aka Ah! Zombies!!!; 2007) or Zombieland (2009), even when they are overly broad like Housewife Alien vs. Gay Zombie (2017), but this one either went over my head or out of my ass, I’m not sure.

Chapters are the only extras on the DVD disc.    

             

Review: Nazi Undead

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2020
Images from the Internet

 

Nazi Undead (aka Living Space)
Directed by Stephen Spiel
Tru Dot Films; Monster Pictures; Jingai; MVD Entertainment
80 minutes, 2018 / 2020
www.facebook.com/livingspacefilm/
www.mvdb2b.com 

Have Nazi’s ever really gone away from the social or cinematic consciousness? Just looking at genre films alone, dead/ghosts and zombie Nazis have been present for decades, in films like Shock Waves (1997) and Dead Snow (2009), or footage of them marching at the White House in MAGA hats. (November 2020). Wikipedia has a whole bunch of them listed (HERE), and there is even a book about it called Nazispolitation! The Nazi Image in Low-Brow Cinema and Culture (by Daniel H. Magilow, Elizabeth Bridges, and Kristen T. Vander Lugt, [Eds.], 2011).

This Australian film is not in that Wikipedia list, just to show the topic goes beyond that inventory. Originally released in 2018, it is now getting a wider release, including this Blu-ray.

Georgia Chara

Brad and Janet…. I mean Brad (Leigh Scully) and Ashley (Georgia Chara) are an American couple of overaged college sweethearts (you can tell by his letterman jacket) somewhere on tour in Germany, taking a rental car to a getaway at a castle (I did this at Schloss Petzow, an hour southeast of Berlin, but I digress…). They are obviously not getting along mainly because, well, he’s a jealous and controlling dick (did I mention the letterman’s jacket?) who doesn’t even help her with her luggage. Everybody sing: “Macho, macho putz…” But as is typical, guys like that in films like this don’t listen to smart women, all to the lack of their betterment.

After an incident on a dark road while being lost (yeah, he’s driving), they end up at a house. No Frank N. Furter here, but swings move by themselves and doors slam shut with no one there. Ashley is also having flashes of Final Destination (2000-etc.) type dreams and images, so she wants to leave, but mister letterman jacket won’t listen.

Leigh Scully

This is no ordinary home, but the spiritual resting place of a family whose equally dick Herr Hauslehrer (Andy Mcfee, who was in the also dark tale of 2005’s Wolf Creek) was a World War II Nazi SS officer, and now their vindictive and malevolent ghosts are roaming the place, causing malice, mischief and mayhem; I won’t give specifics, but some are horrific, but look great, thanks to a SFX team led by Stephen Boyle.

If you have seen Wolf Creek, or some of the work of Peter Weir, you know just how bleak and oppressive Australian cinema can get. The house is quite small, so there is a strong feeling of claustrophobia, and the tight quarters make the ghosts popping in and out effective for jump scares, even after numerous times.

Needless to say, Nazi insignias are everywhere, on walls, on knives, and with graffiti on a shed wall. The latter, however, seems to me to be a bit anachronistic, as that was not a “thing” back in 1945, and having someone having done it in modern times kinds of takes away from the whole “lost in time” premise. Still, it’s not enough to divert my attention away from the story.

Andy Mcfee

Nazis – especially dead (or undead) ones – are easy villains. There is no need for any kind of soft-soaping or giving an empathetic side, because in this cinematic world, there is no “good people on both sides.” What is the motivation for the killings? Well, for the original murders, it was probably a matter of death and “honor” before giving up to the enemy (the Americans or Russians, perhaps giving this a 2000 Maniacs [1964] revenge vibe). For the modern era, it could be because they are American, or it may just be anyone foreign trespassing on Deutschland soil, which is the reference of the film’s original title, Living Space.

The blurb for the film gives the indication that the house is some kind of time warp (maybe they are Brad and Janet…), stuck somewhere between then and now, which would explain why the house is in relatively good shape, just as it was in 1945, yet time has not had an effect on the edifice at all.

The multiple time and special loops that run through the story are really well done, even with a nod to Satanic (2016) and Groundhog Day (1992), possibly Run Lola Run (1998), or the more recent Inoperable (2017). That being said, it is not just a rehashing of old themes, as director Spiel manages to throw some updating and modernizing into the genre framework in effective ways.

 

Not counting the ghosts, there is a small body count as there are really only two living humans in the main story, but the time factors mean more than one event per character; again, I’m trying not to give too much away.

So, the story is, as I indicated, a bit dark (usually if there are Nazis abound it’s either dark or an extreme comedy, like Mel Brooks), but it is well put together and told. From the editing (especially the nightmare sequences) to the practical SFX, this release actually was way better than I was expecting it to be. While the title is a bit more marketable, it also gives the impression of a B-film. That being said, it’s still better than its original title, which doesn’t give a clue about anything, even the genre in which it is placed.

There are no stunning extras, just chapters and stereo options, but make sure you watch at least the beginning of the credits to marvel at the SFX work.

 

Review: Bullets of Justice

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2020
Images from the Internet

Bullets of Justice
Directed by Valen Milev
Zenit IT
79 minutes, 2020
https://www.facebook.com/BLOOD-Pi-1475601389429732

Post-apocalyptic dystopian future features are becoming more and more popular, though usually in the sci-fi (the danger of technology) or zombie universes. This film, shot in Bulgaria with local actors (with one cameo exception, noted below) spoken mostly in English and some Bulgarian (I believe) with subtitles, takes a different, action-based approach. It was directed by Valen Milev, who more famously gave us Wrong Turn 6: Last Resort (2014).

The basic premise has been told numerous times before, such as Captain America: the army intends to create a “super-soldier,” but things go awry. In this case, which takes place post-World War III, the soldiers are melded with pigs (say what?), who essentially take over the world until there are a few non-swine humans left, and the pig-soldiers are out to eradicate them through ingestion. Sort of like a pork-ified Terminator.

Doroteya Toleva, Timur Turisbekov

When our story begins 25 years later, our hero is Rob Justice (Timur Turisbekov) and his scarred assistant/lover Nina (Yana Marinova), who we see living in a shell of a city, battling some of the “Muzzles.” Y’see, them Muzzles are now the top of the food chain, with their favorite meals being of the human kind. Humanity has been caged like we do with cows and, well, the other white meat.

During the exposition by Rob to fill in the viewer what has happened, we briefly meet his father in a cameo by the great Danny Trejo (who still looks amazingly fit and gnarly for his mid-‘70s).

Meanwhile, those who are still out in the wild (as well as those captured) are physically filthy and dirt smeared. Well, so are the pigs, but in the real world we’re used to that, as pigs lay around in mud (to keep cool; they have no sweat glands, which makes one wonder about the expression, “sweating like a pig,” but I digress…). Oh, and let us not forget that there is a lot of pig shitting, the smell of which is apparently how they identify each other. Just be glad this isn’t in John Waters-style Smell-O-Rama.

Semir Alkadi

Even among the humans, there are traitors who are willing to sell out their fellow survivors to the muzzles, led in part by one of the more ridiculous characters, assassin Raphael (Semir Alkadi), who always has wind blowing through his long hair no matter where he is (and even if it affects no one else), usually wearing next to nuthin’. Sure, there’s going to be some sort of showdown between Rob and Raphael at some oink… I mean point.

Rob is part of the resistance and is sent to New York to kill “the mother,” who keeps producing all these pig mutants. Ok, let’s step aside for a sec here. This may all sound far-fetched, but hooo boy, this film is incredibly out there. Accents are thick, one muzzle has a face like a sphincter with balls under his chin that basically looks like a butt from the back whose name is, I kid you not, Benedict Asshole (Alexander Ralfietta), some time travel, and a whole lot of narrative inconsistencies. Camera glares abound and blood gets splattered on the lens. Then there is Rob’s sister and lover, a freedom fighter, Rakska (Doroteya Toleva), who has a mustache like her father (Trejo). I’m not sure if this is meant to be a dark comedy or not, but the shear level of insanity definitely had me laughing – in a good way.

Benedict Asshole

There is a lot of sex and nudity (full both male and female), and even some gay overtones here and there, though none of it is really explained. That’s the thing about this film, it is both engrossing, and yet has no problem making you scratch your head and say, “What the hell did I just see?” While we mostly view things through Rob’s experience, he’s kind of a Billy Pilgrim who has become unstuck in time, but nothing seems to be what it appears to be, and don’t look for answers. I guess the viewer has to accept it for what it is. This is also true of the accented dialog, which consists of lines like, “Bullets are always just! They are birds of justice, made of lead. If they don’t belong to you, they’ll never hurt you.” Saywhaaaaat?

CGI is used often and wonky at best, which in this case makes it humorous. Some of the multitude of people we see in a Muggle abattoir of human flesh are real, and some obviously made of rubber: light in weight and springy for tossing, but they look really good. Nearly the whole film is shot with a sepia type of lens, taking out bright colors and giving everything a brownish – again, dirty – look to it.

Did I enjoy the experience? Would I recommend it? Weeeeeeell, it’s not that easy. This film is definitely a mind-fuck, and yet there is something appealing about it in it’s inner insanity. I can accept the basic backbone to the story abut the rise of the pig soldiers, as I have read Orwell’s Animal Farm, which perhaps influenced the plot, but there are so many oddities that come and smack you on the face throughout that I would think one would need to be of a certain mindset to enjoy it. I will admit I laughed quite a bit at the inanity of certain scenes, and more because of it than not, it kept my attention. If I was a stoner – and it almost seems like it was geared in that direction – I don’t know what I’d make of it.

I would recommend it, but cautiously. It’s entertaining as hell, but equally confusing. If you’re in for a joy ride and don’t care about “sense,” yeah, you might get a kick out of it. Honestly, I did.