Review: Mad Heidi

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2023
Images from the Internet

Mad Heidi
Directed by Johannes Hartmann; Sandro Klopfstein
Swissploitation Films; A Film Company; SRF (Swiss Radio and Television); Raven Banner Entertainment
92 minutes, 2022 / 2023
www.madheidie.com
www.facebook.com/madheidimovie
www.instagram.com/madheidimovie/

Before there was Pippi Longstocking (1945), before Laura Ingalls (Little House on the Prairie, 1932), and previous to Anne Shirley (Anne of Green Gables, 1908), there was Heidi, first published in 1880 by Johanna Spyri. In this story, Heidi has gone from an innocent and yodeling 5-year-old mountain girl into a strong, angry 24-year-old woman. She is a badass.

From the moment I saw the trailer for Mad Heidi, I knew I wanted – perhaps needed – to see this. Filmed in Switzerland, this is apparently a new subgenre being referred to (by its producers) as Swissploitation. Gotta love it. Mostly in English, there is minimal Swiss German, as well.

Alice Lucy

So, this grindhouse release cannot – and should not – be taken seriously, as it is an extremely broad and violent comedy. Just what the doctor ordered. Films of this nature tend to be called “cheesy,” and in this case, it is quite purposeful, as I will explain later. The film goes out of its way to give it a 1980s release feel (a good start!), right down to the opening credits, and relying on a bunch of different genres throughout, some of which will be noted below in brackets.

Through the prologue and credits, we learn that Switzerland is taken over by Nazi-esque (right down to the Swiss Cross red armband) regime of President Meili (Casper Van Dien, of 1997’s Starship Troopers, sporting a comically-German accent) – aka, “Our Very Swiss Leader” – a cut-throat dystopian dictator who is not afraid to quash a protest through armaments. He also owns the only permissible cheese factory in the country, with the slogan, “Strength through Meili’s Cheese.” Any other brand is illegal, and burned, while the sellers are executed in the street. He is brutally aided by Kommandant Knorr (Max Rüdlinger) – sometimes the “K” is not silent – who says, as he is torturing someone in a dairy-related way, “I love the smell of cheese in the morning!”

Casper Van Dien

There is an interesting mix of Nazi-ism, and what is going on in the States right now. For example, there is a negative “other” branded on the lactose-intolerant who cannot eat cheese, reflecting what is going on with the LGBTQ+ and Trans communities. Republicanism is reflected a lot here, not to mention Meili’s tendency to wear all red clothing. His plan is to take over the world…cheese market.

Meanwhile, there is a grown-up Heidi (relative newcomer Alice Lucy), living in the Alps with her grandfather, Alpöhi (David Schofield). While Heidi seems to be unaware of what is going on in the village, gramps is more conscious. Part of Heidi’s distraction is her love interest [sexploitation], the godfather of illegal cheese, Goat Peter (Kal Matsena). He is pimpin’ his goat cheese in bricks in his white fur coat [blaxploitation] to underworldly figures. See, purposefully silly and smile worthy.

David Shofield

After some tragedies, our feisty heroine is arrested, and sent to a stern prison with Klara (Almar G. Sato), run by an even sterner warden, Fräulein Rottweiler (Katja Kolm) [women in prison] and her sadistic right hand who really enjoys giving a cattle prod, Lutz (Rebecca Dyson-Smith). In the Mengele-ish role is Dr. Schwitzgebel (Pascal Ulli), the Chief Cheese Scientist, out to rid the world of the lactose intolerant (reminiscent of Scott Atlas, Trump’s anti-vax COVID advisor). Naturally, the only food there is cheese (reminds me of a line said by Maude on “All in the Family”: “It’s Cream of Wheat and cheese; it’s light but it binds”). His goal is to form a “perfect” cheese to create a cheese army (think of zombies or Orcs).

Of course, after Heidi escapes and does some kung fu training, she becomes a warrior that is bound to influence a whole bunch of Halloween cosplay outfits. And rightfully so. I will not go into any detail about the fight to save Switzerland, but man, it is bloody and fun. And I mean some really nice albeit cartoonish gore that will have any gorehound cheering.

Max Rudinger

While there is a timeless feel to the film, such as “the new,” Goat Peter referring to Heidi as “Babygirl,” and “the old,” dial phones, it is definitely steeped in the ‘80s, with cassette boom boxes, mad scientist laboratories, explosions, bizarre opening animation and CGI, and everything being excessive.

The scenery is nothing short of stunning. Mountains, switchback roads with enormous drops, green valleys, bridges, and the like. So beautiful.

Kal Matsena

Goofy, but smart and obviously made by a group that are hardcore cinephiles, with influences and reflections of the likes of Scanners (1981), Cool Hand Luke (1967), High Anxiety (1977), the subgenre of The Big Bird Cage (1972), The Human Tornado (1976), Sergio Leone’s spaghetti westerns (including some of the score sounding like Ennio Morricone), Star Wars (1977), Crocodile Dundee (1986), Spartacus (1960), and, of course, The Sound of Music (1965). I am sure there are some I missed.

The acting is also reflective of the period it is honoring, with over-the-top dialogue infusing the over-emoting and facial expressions (Van Dien, especially and purposefully). Plus, there is one speech that sounds like it could have been pointed directly to the information deprived MAGA followers.

Katja Kolm

One of the notable aspects of this film is that it is completely independently funded, shot, and distributed. The contributor section of the acknowledgements is almost as long as the rest of the end credits.

Damn, this is a fun film. I highly recommend it to those who like ‘80s cinema, Tarantino, well-written action comedies, and just a need to let it all loose. Very satisfying from beginning to conclusion. Or is it not really the end of the story?

IMDB listing HERE

Review: The Puppet Monster Massacre

Text © Richard Gary / FFanzeen, 2011
Images from the Internet



The Puppet Monster Massacre
Written, puppeteerd, edited, executive produced, and directed by Dustin Mills
MVD Visual, 2010/2011
70 minutes, USD $14.95
MVDvisual.com

There is a sub-sub-genre of puppet-charactered horror and exploitation films that goes back a few years. Some titles include Mad Monster Party (okay, that one was rated G), Peter Jackson’s early Meet the Feebles, parts of Night of the Living Dead: Reanimated (reviewed in an earlier blog), the all-out hardcore Let My Puppets Come, and now this new splatterfest. These are hardly Puppetoons you would show along with Frosty the Snowman to the kiddies.

With tongue in cheek (and hand in felt) writ large, Dustin Mills does an homage to the early plethora of cheesy video-era horror flicks; this one takes place in 1985. Some of the puppets, which look similar in style to the Henson variety, were created by Dustin’s mother, with varied and imaginative looks. It’s not just the gore (of which there is plenty, some of it CGI splatter), the nudity or the sex, it’s the writing that that truly makes this something worth seeking out...other than the novelty of an all puppet exploitation film, of course.

The central theme is that the evil scientist Dr. Wolfgang Wagner (voiced by Steve Rimpieri) and his sidekick penguin, Mr. Squiggums (aka, the comic relief), has built himself a monster parasite that he plans to feed through inviting some town teens to come stay at his house under the premise that if they spend the night, they get… one million dollars.

The first teen (and main character) is Charlie (Ethan Holey), who is afraid of his own shadow, especially compared to his apparently loony World War II hero grandpa (supposedly, grandpa kicked Adolph in his Hitlers…actually – and I doubt this would make Final Jeopardy – the German leader actually only had one testicle, FYI); shame Grandpa (Bart Flynn) couldn’t have been in the movie more as he is so much fun (the crusty and vulgar old man film stereotype that Alan Arkin has embodied so well), though he is actually in the film just the right amount for the story. However, Charlie wants to restore the family honor by reopening the family dollar store (what, you’re looking for sense in a horror puppet movie? What is wrong with you?).

Also invited is Gwen (Jessica Daniels), the hoodie-wearing girl Charlie has been in love with since kindergarten and is now his best/only friend, but is afraid to ask out. We all know where that relationship is heading (some cliché’s remain true), if you’ve ever seen any of a thousand Sixteen Candles kinds of flicks. She comes across smarter, braver and more logical than him, but remains unassuming.

Third is Raimi (an obvious tribute, voiced by Mills), an Elmo-colored film geek/freak who talks in quotes and references. He is buck-toothed, has what I’m assuming are pimples (though they could be blotches; they move from one side of his face to another in different scenes), and has a Wolowitz kind of relationship with his mother (also unseen here). Actually, his oversexed, under-experienced annoying nature is also similar to the Big Bang Theory character, but is hardly a rip-off.

The fourth invitee is a bald tough guy named Iggy (of course) with a too-thick Cockney accent and lots of piercings, who is obviously monster fodder (ah, but will he have a comeuppance? Or is that a comeupuppetance?). Iggy (also Bart Flynn) brings his uninvited gothic, mohawked girlfriend, Mona (portrayed by Mills’ real-life girlfriend, Erica Kisseberth; also the voice of Raimi’s mom), who supplies the “nudity” in a couple of occasions. She is tough as nails and has more than a larcenous streak to her.

The five show up at the Rocky Horror-inspired house, turrets and all, of course on a rainy Friday night. Plot-wise, what happens from then is highly clichéd, but there are moments of lunacy equivalent to the Bugs Bunny cartoon where a horse is walking in the middle of the air who states, as Bugs flies by in Superman style, “A rabbit? Up here?” There are bunny farts (actually there are a lot of farts from numerous characters) and, well, isn’t bunny farts enough? But there is more.

It’s all very amusing, and I can understand why this won the 2011 Motor City Nightmares Film Festival’s Best Animal Film award. In the end credits, Mills lists some who inspired him to make films, such as Guilliamo Del Toro (imagination), Kevin Smith (zippy dialog and lower-level humor situations; even in Smith’s best film, Dogma, there’s a shit demon, or “poopy-boy,” as Muse/Selma Hyack calls it), Robert Rodriguez (action pacing and editing; his Planet Terror is a joy to watch for that), the aforementioned Peter Jackson (certainly not for his Lord of the Rings work, but rather his also excellent early films), and Jim Henson (well, that’s kinda obvious, doncha think?). Bugs Bunny (hey, bunnies run through the film, so why not this review?) and/or Scooby Doo can be added in such scenes as when Raimi and the monster duck around each other in varied directions.

There are two commentaries, one by Mills alone, and one by him and assistant director Brandon Salkil. While Mills mentions that he feels the one both of them is better, in actuality, they are both excellent. In either/or, he details how the film cost $3500 (for copyrights, camera, computer, software, felt), and goes on to explain that “An average day of filming was two Jackasses [Mills and Salkil] in my living room with a green screen and bunch of puppets.” Two of the characters are portrayed by professional (i.e., as Mills explains, they’ve done it for money before) voice actors: Rimperi and Flynn; they emailed in their readings, and Mills has never actually met them at the time of the commentary).

Mills goes on to explain why he made the film, his plans for the future, scene by scene his finest and least favorite (a certain CGI shot) moments, and the experience as a whole. He does a better job than most in keeping in the moment on both tracks, which is appreciative as so many other commentaries are wastes of time (including by one of his inspirations, Kevin Smith). There are also two short examples of monster styles that were not used, the second not too bad.

You really have to be of a certain type to like this kind of film, and I’m fortunate that I am, because I had a lot of fun watching the whole she-bang, and listening to all of the two commentaries. Whether there is a sequel or not (there is a typical ‘80s-style hint of it at the end), I hope these guys keep going. Texas Puppet Massacre? Last Puppet on the Left? Night of the Puppet Dead? Puppetzilla (Mills mentions that he has a thing for giant monster films)? It! Puppet From Beyond Space? The Puppet of Gore? Incredibly Strange Puppets Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed Up Marionettes? Okay, I’ll stop now while you order this film…

This review was originally published HERE