Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2017
Images from the Internet
Conspiracy Theory [aka Lake
on Fire]
Directed and edited by Jake Myers
Team
Octagon / Ruthless Films / MVD Visual
79
minutes, 2016
The biggest complaint about the
recent Paranormal Activity film
series (starting in 2007) is not that it’s in the found footage genre, but
rather that it takes way too long for anything of interest to happen. Arguably,
a similar comment can be made about the granddaddy/-mommy of modern found
footage, The Blair Witch Project (1999).
This waaaaaaait for it… aspect has been a key element of found footage
since Project, at least. It’s
annoying and pointless, and fills out a film to full length when it could have
been a very comfortable 20-minute short (or even less). Some recent examples
include The Purging Hour (2015) and The Devil’s Forest (2016, aka The Devil Complex). There definitely are
ones that are enjoyable, like The
Changing of Ben Moore (2015), but they are rare, and more so over time.
Rather than just a bunch of
jocks/couples taping for no other reason than to film and accidentally
capturing the mysterious whatever,
this release has a premise: we meet the film crew to a “reality” cable show on
the Mystery Channel called “Alien Engineers,” which posits that many of our
modern structures, such as Las Vegas, the Hoover Dam and Lake Mead are
constructs that use technology given to humans by the “grays.”
 |
| Ben Kobold |
Leading this fivesome is its host, the
heavily orange-skinned spray-tanned Bjorn Eriksson (Ben Kobold), along with the
rest being his crew (cameras and sound), including the loony Britney Big Time
(Jennifer Mills), the sensible Jamie Bragg (Jamie Mackie), the angry Brian
(Brian Schroeck), and non-descript Brock (director Jake Myers). We watch them
as they go to the locations I mentioned above, and most of them, well, acting
like jerks both while the show is taping, and especially when just filming each
other – and in Britney’s case, often herself(ies) while frequently sticking her
tongue out.
To begin, let me discuss the good
points, because there are a few. First of all, they nail the whole guerilla
filmmaking down pretty well, as Bjorn interviews scientists and “man on the
street” types, and manages to put words in everyone’s mouths, claiming that
they were the ones that said it (reminding me of the more recent Melissa
McCarthy SNL Sean Spicer spoofs). Bjorn
keeps trying to goad interviewees into saying something controversial that is alien-related;
or interrupts often like Charlie Rose, but more to “shock,” like Geraldo Rivera.
This is both goofy and enjoyable to watch, as the people squirm, or are often
bemused by it all, taking it in good fun.
Which brings me to another decent
aspect, which is that there is a fine mixture of real people mixed with
fictional characters, and sometimes it’s not always easy to tell one from the
other, playing with story’s credibility in a fun way. For example, TD Barnes,
who actually worked in Area 51 and has appeared in other films as himself, is
questioned, much to his amusement, as Bjorn turns everything he says into
something alien. Actors Scott Butler and
David Liebe Hart also play themselves in cameos.
The tricky part is many of the other
roles are people whose names are very similar to their real ones, such as Andrzej
Stratos (played by Andy Seifer), Rizza Villalobos (Rizza Abrera; in case you
miss it, the character’s name is “Wolf House”), and Erika Miller (Erika
Michaels). My favorite ones are twins Toni and Traci Von Daniken, portrayed by
twins Toni Van Laarhoven and Traci Van Laarhoven-Myers (I’m guessing a relation
of the director). By the way, I checked, and Erick Von Daniken only had a
single daughter, but I don’t know about grandkids. And, of course, there’s the
difference between Van and Von.
 |
| Jennifer Mills |
So, while those points are quite
intriguing, ultimately the film fails overall for one basic and nearly constant
reason: there is way too much filler
crap with nothing to add to the story. For example, I really don’t need or care
to see extended scenes of drinking in a hotel room bathroom or on the street, nor
the crew gambling at a casino. One of the worst, though, was a third of the way
in, as we travel along in a car with the crew while for long minutes Bjorn/Ben
and Britney/Jennifer (good thing she’s cute) make up some ridiculous song about
butt fisting; in the credits, it’s listed as “Fuck Town.” It’s not the rap per se, but just the sheer waste of time
of it all as, again, it does absolutely nothing
for the story.
It seems like a large part of the
film is mostly a travelogue of home movies that doesn’t really mean or add up
to anything, including character
development. It’s almost like the crew (who are obviously friends as most have
made other films together) wanted to go to Nevada on a trip, and figured if
they made some kind of story about it, they could write off the expenses. While
they seem to be having fun, it didn’t really transfer well to the audience
(okay, to me; I’m not gonna talk for the rest). By the time of the rap, I was
getting pissed with all the unnecessary bullshit.
I don’t think it’s going to take a
rocket scientist (or extraterrestrial) to figure out by the end, at some point,
it’s going to be a case of be careful
what you wish for because it may come true. I won’t divulge the final
moments, but the general idea is not only easy to figure out, well, just look
at the image on the box or watch the trailer fer chrissake.
There is a kind of conspiracy theory
going on, but whether it’s by the aliens or humans is left up to the viewer.
The last 20 minutes or so are…okay, with about 10 interesting minutes here and
there, but by far the best parts of this film are the interviews.
The only extras are the chapters.
That’s okay, because I don’t think I would actually want to hear a full length
commentary, or a Making Of featurette, since the nearly the entire film is
actually the latter. Can we please have a moratorium on found footage now?
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