Horror Shorts Reviews: April 2022

Horror Shorts Reviews for April 2022

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2022
Images from the Internet

Filmmakers, please note: usually, I do not review films (unless requested) that appear on sites like Alter and Screamfest, because they have a known platform, which is great, while I would rather focus on films with no sponsored online affiliations. These films are not in ranked order, but rather alphabetically listed by first letter.

 

The Dead Record
Directed by Nate Thompson
Novaland Films; Spooky Films; Nate Thompson Videos
16:34 minutes, 2022
In Toledo, OH, a record and film store proprietor, appropriately named Louden (the director), has just closed up and is restocking, when there is a knock on the door and a mysterious stranger (Kenny Urban) with a wicked smile drops off a package that contains an LP, with a warning. The vinyl is a rarity (only 50 pressed) and of course, it comes with a curse. The film flows quite well as it swirls around the aisle of the store, following Louden and his friend Sammy (Dakota Musarelli) as they talk. As a collector myself, the conversation between the two feels very accurate, though the way Louden physically handles the record, especially being a rarity, is shocking to me (no true collector would handle a rare record by the vinyl, but only by the edges), but I digress… I have to admit I had to watch it twice, because I kept getting distracted by trying to see what were the albums in the cases, but that’s okay since the story was interesting enough to watch both times. And the character of evil here (Madeline Malice) is effective in the story. The ending was a bit obvious, as are most horror shorts, but it leans more to the psychological as much as for the shock values, which makes it a fun listen and watch. The soundtrack is definitely dark metal, opening the film up with a blast, which was another nice touch. I actually jumped at that. This is the second of Nate’s short films I have seen, and I am duly impressed. I am looking forward to seeing his feature release of Cult Affairs.
Full film HERE 

 

Ignore It
Directed by Sam Evanson
McMuffin Creative
6:33 minutes, 2021
A family’s home has a recurring and unwanted guest: a ghostly woman who will kill unless she is ignored. The family does its best over the dinner table to be as normal as possible while the spirit is among them. The parents and the two children try their best but, you know… This is a pretty good thriller based on more than one jump scare, and the effects are well done. A strong point is the background music which is consistent (and, of course, dissonant), keeping the mood going. There is obviously little background to the story other than this is not its first appearance. I don’t know how they know to ignore it, but that’s part of the missing exposition that really isn’t needed anyway, since this is, after all, a short. Very effective with an excellent cast.
Full film HERE

Let Them Eat
Directed by LaShaunte Wade
Dark Creeds Productions
15:16 minutes, 2021
When Megghan (lanky Lauren Molina) and her husband Kyle (Roman Jacob Bolyen) has Kyle’s co-worker and mistress, Julie (Lindsay Miller) over for dinner, there’s a lot at – er – steak. Megghan is on the verge of opening a new restaurant and Kyle is a successful lawyer, with high aspirations for their lives to get richer and tasty. Things quickly get twisted and weird, but the film takes its time to unfold, relatively speaking for a short with three people, mostly sitting around eating and drinking. There are subtle events and conversations that tell the viewer that there is something off, but it is certainly not what one might be expecting, and that’s the fun of this piece. It paces itself well, and doesn’t try to rush anything. The visuals are pretty stark and the VFX are quite stunning, and does not rely on jump scares to be effectively horrifying. An actor, dancer, model, and chef, this is the director’s first film, and it shows an immense sense of talent and purpose. I look forward to her future work.
Full film HERE 

 

Mother Father Monster
Directed by Sean Breathnatch
Ego Productions Ireland
9:06 minutes, 2019
https://www.facebook.com/MotherFatherMonster
A gothic tale about an energy drink? Well, the first part of that question is accurate. Mr. Wolsey (Mark Lawrence) is hired at an Irish stately home (the Charleville Forest Castle) to be a butler and tutor in the 19th Century. Upon his arrival, the deeply dimpled and stern Lady Charleville (Irene Kelleher) warns him, in Pandora Box/Bluebeard fashion, that he must never enter a particular upstairs room. The film is highly atmospheric, as gothic films should be, and the castle – even in a state of neglect – is reminiscent of the setting of The Haunting (1963), full of turned wood staircases and musty rooms. It’s mood and texture are quite stunning, and the editing is sharp. While some of the story may seem obvious to anyone with a history of genre films, there were still a few pleasant surprises that quite make this worth the viewing.
Full film HERE 

 

Poster: TBD

The Thing Next Door
Directed by Marcus Kelly
9:22 minutes, 2020
A twenty-something (Bethany Russell) lives on her own in a nice house. The people next door have mysteriously disappeared. And what’s that glowing red light and slime trail that starts to show up in her house? In this dialogue-less short, we don’t get to learn too much about the protagonist, who is the only character in the film (other than a brief shot of a policeman played by the director), shows lots of emotion, conveying how she feels well through her facial expressions.  The film is shot quite beautifully (but what’s with the insects and toothbrushing so common in house-bound horror shorts?), especially one transition between a drain and a full moon. From the sounds of whatever the thing next door is, I was imagining it looks like a Cthulhu kind of deal, as this almost comes across as a radio story for the eyes, with the b-roll standing in for narration. Lots of use of both the filmmaker’s and the viewer’s imagination. I quite liked this meat and potatoes release. Unfortunately, I could find no poster, no photos of the film to include in the review. If I get one, I will add it in later.
Full film HERE 

 

Within
Directed by Rory Wood
16:42 minutes, 2021
A troubled couple, David (David Lewis) and Tegan (Lisa Chandler), are walking through the woods around their house outside Vancouver when their young teenage son, Ben (Ridley Havok McLeod), finds a spider-like creature about a foot long near a den. This has a marked effect on David, as he starts staring into space and drinking heavily at home. He seems to be either obsessed or possessed by whatever is in that den, which we see in bits and pieces. As with other cryptid forest creatures such as in Jug Face (2013), it must be fed, as David goes all Jack Torrance. This is an excellent creature feature with beautifully handled photography by Kyle Gherman (especially around the dinner table). The film is long enough for the viewer to get a sense of the relationships between the characters, and make them relatively real, rather than just present. Totally enjoyable.
Full film HERE 

Review: Room 203

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2022
Images from the Internet

Room 203
Directed by Ben Jagger
Ammo Entertainment; Vertical Entertainment; Voltage Pictures
104 minutes, 2022
www.vert-ent.com/
https://ammo-ent.com/

Apparently, 203 appears in many films on hotel or room numbers, if one does a Google search. According to one numerology site, “the number 203 resonates with freedom and experience…203 energy also resonates with relationships, with infinite possibilities, and with creative expression [and] can give rise to unanticipated and intense experience.” Also, 203 is a prime number (for those fans of the 1997 film Cube).

In this case, the pre-furnished Room 203 is located in an apartment building in Shreveport, Louisiana. It’s quite a lovely place, with a huge stained-glass window (leading to an amusing TS Eliot reference) giving a nice light and an imbuing an almost religious tone, presenting what looks like Knights Templars in battle. But the prologue shows that there is the presence of evil rather than good (not that any religion is necessarily good). This sets up the tone for the rest of what is to follow.

 

Francesca Xuereb, Vicktoria Vinyarska

We are introduced to blonde Kim (Francesca Xuereby), who is moving into the apartment, despite the reluctance of her parents. Mind you, she is on her way to start college as a journalism major (psych minor), so… Kim is to share the place with her lifelong friend (and “bad influence,” according to Kim’s mom, who’s a real peach), brunette wannabe actor Izzy (Vicktoria Vinyarska). The different hair colors can symbolize a few things, such as classical good (light, or pure) and evil (dark or troubled), or it could just be to help the viewer immediately distinguish between the two as we “meet” them.

Thanks to renovations, the top floor (20th, I am assuming) is empty, except for Kim and Iggy’s flat, and the obligatorily weird and robotically edgy landlord, Ronan (Scott Gremillion) who lives down the hall. Then Kim meets video journalist major Ian (Eric Wiegand, who reminds me a bit of Thurston Moore of the band Sonic Youth), and, ‘tah-dah,’ new boyfriend.

Thanks to the film’s prologue introduction, we know two key elements about the apartment, one being that one of the walls has something weird and mysterious happening, and the others are a locket that is more than a piece of metal and a miniature music box.

After some Izzy sleepwalking with the music box and other weirdness, Kim starts to get suspicious that something in the apartment is off. For a journalism student, it took her a while, but her and Ian start their research, which of course leads to some…research, if you get mah drift. This comes as no surprise, even if it is pretty fast. Canoodling comes quicker than realizing something is amiss and wanting to figure it out, which seems strange to me.

This could have easily been a Sigle White Female (1992) roommate from hell situation, but in this case the hell part is a bit more accurate as the story progresses past the first introductory act. There are a lot of layers in the film, even though it’s a bit of a slow burn with a bunch of jump scares, such as possession, ancient curses, a creepy industrial basement space, and a resident evil entity called The Morrígu, “a figure from Irish mythology… and it has been translated as ‘great queen’ or ‘phantom queen’… is mainly associated with war and fate especially with foretelling doom, death, or victory in battle. In this role she often appears as a crow … and [is] a shape-shifting goddess.” (Thank you, Wikipedia.)

As the third act unravels, we learn the truth behind secrets (one I should have seen from a mile away, but missed completely) and then there is the battle between, natch, good an evil.

A quibble I have here, and is too common in indie cinema these days, is that some of the film is quite dark. Even the apartment, at night, the old table lamps are just not bright enough; personally, I would buy higher wattage bulbs and brighten the place up a bit. To be fair, you can make out what is happening, but I had to have my monitor tilted at just the right angle to see the events unfolding, such as in the basement.

My big question, though, is as follows: Kim calls the apartment “affordable,” but I am wondering how the two women can afford it with what seems like no apparent means of support; certainly not from Kim’s apathetic parents. Kim is a college student who Zooms her classes (it takes place as the Covid pandemic was kicking off in Spring 2020), so perhaps a scholarship? Izzy goes on some auditions, but those don’t pay. My other query, and this is trite and silly, but It’s a pretty big space, with at least two bedrooms, a living room, a kitchen, and a bathroom, so shouldn’t it be Apartment 203 rather than Room 203?

All-in-all, with a relatively slow first couple of acts with some fun bits thrown in and lots of expository of present events and shady information on past ones, the third act is compelling and comes to a pretty satisfactory conclusion.

The film is available on all major VoD platforms, including iTunes, Prime Video, DirecTV, Cox, Time-Warner, Dish, Vudu, and Google Play.

IMBD Listing HERE 

 

Review: 6:45

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2022
Images from the Internet

6:45
Directed by Craig Singer
Storyboard Media; Cascrater Film and Media; Well Go USA Entertainment
96 minutes, 2021
www.645movie.com/
www.facebook.com/645movie/

Wow, there are a lot of films in the past few years where the day repeats over and over, each time with different results, such as one I recently reviewed from Serbia called Incarnation. 

The title of this film refers to a digital (flip) bedside clock that announces the time to re-awaken, at 6:45 AM. This particular clock is in a Bed and Breakfast on an island accessible only by ferry, where a lusty couple, Jules (Augie Duke, who has a Deborah Walley/Donna Pescow vibe) and Bobby (Michael Reed), have come for a long weekend getaway. Bobby has a history on the island, but does not remember much.

The island setting for the film is actually the Jersey Shore, including Ocean Grove, Asbury Park, and Seaside Heights. Thanks to some creative filmmaking, it feels like an island, with the Atlantic Ocean filling in for the body of water supposedly surrounding the locale. There is, however, a nice nod to the location when one of the characters smokes a brand called “Jersey.”

The owner of the place is the smarmy and disturbing Gene (Armen Garo), who creepily listens at the couple’s door while they, well, knock boots. This is a beautiful house among many others packed in together, rather than a middle-of-nowhere cabin, which is refreshing, relatively speaking (isolated cabins are more of a worn tale than repeating days).

Despite all the woo-hooing between them, this is a couple with some issues. Bobby is a bit of a hothead and lothario, and Jules has a deep resentment of him due to a past indiscretion. This causes them to intermittently have tension and being loving.

But the tagline for the film is “Vacation. Die. Repeat,” so it should come to no surprise that at the end of the day, there is no good coming. After a tour of the town, including a stop at a bar where they exchange words with a drunken woman, Brooklyn (Sasha K. Gordon), our intrepid couple meet a grisly demise at the hands of a cowled assassin (Joshua Matthew Smith). That is until it is suddenly 6:45 AM the same day (you saw that coming, I am assuming).

In Final Destination mode, Bobby remembers what happened as a possible dream, and events aren’t exactly the same as things are worded differently in conversations (e.g., in the first, Bobby complains about the bathroom, in the second, Gene mentions the bathroom first). Jules, on the other hand, does not remember anything, which is a bit confusing. Gene tells of a similar murder to the one Bobby and Jules experienced in the first incarnation a couple of years before (during the second 6:45 around). To me, this set up some ideas of the direction of the film and where it may go. I hope I’m wrong since I’m only 30 minutes in, and have lots more 6:45’s to go.

As is the case, each iteration gives more clues, more details to help Bobby possibly avoid a horrible fate for him and Jules. Is it a dream within a dream? A memory before death, as in “An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge”? Ghosts like The Others? Fan mail from some flounder? Or perhaps it is something totally different. It has me curious. Especially why he knows, and she does not, since they are both involved.

One of the aspects of the film that I find intriguing is each 6:45 has shadows of the previous ones, but the more times it repeats, the further in the outfield it goes, with some actors playing different people at some point.

While Bobby is trying to figure out the mystery and Jules is annoyed at his behavior as he does, there seem to be others who have some idea what is going on, both giving clues and making it more confusing for everyone watching. Oh, and Bobby, too. Not even halfway through, and I am really curious for some solutions I am guessing will start coming and making more of an impact in the third act. One thing I can definitively say is that each time is bloodier. In fact, by some of the last scenes, the film has moments that are nothing less than gruesome in the context of the story.

Most films with the time repeating theme have subtle supernatural elements (like Groundhog Day), but this one has both feet in the psychological genre as we explore the relationship between Bobby and Jules. I figured out the ending a bit late in the game, and it was well worth the wait.

The two leads are incredibly solid in the acting department. I have been a fan of Reed since The Disco Exorcist (2011), and this role is reminiscent of Normal (2013). He can be an intense actor, as he is here, with Bobby taking the viewer down a road of angst and alcoholism. Duke more than holds her own as they have fine chemistry, and are a believable couple, even with the other dynamics that are swirling around them. There are also a couple of interesting cameos by rappers/actors Remy Ma and The 45 King

The Jersey scenery is beautiful, and with events occurring numerous times, we get to see some detail surrounding the area. But man, it looked cold (I’m guessing early spring before tourist season) as the wind whips around them on the beaches and in other open spaces. While the camerawork by Lucas Pitassi is fluid and occasionally imaginative, it’s the editing by Sam Adelman that caught my attention. This includes some interesting split screen shots that are peppered through a few of the incarnations, perhaps indicating the fracturing of the relationship, or of a personality.

This is the kind of movie that it may be a good idea to watch twice, to see all the missed clues that possibly went over the audience’s heads the first time. Luckily, the film holds up under multiple views.

IMBD Listing HERE 

Review: Disorienting Dick

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2022
Images from the Internet

Disorienting Dick
Directed by Richard Griffin
Reasonable Moving Picture Company; Scorpio Film Releasing
88 minutes, 2022
https://www.facebook.com/ScorpioFilmReleasing

Historically, director Richard Griffin likes to reuse cast members in phases. For a while it was actors like Sarah Nicklin, Michael Thurber, and Michael Reed, for example. Then, overlappingly, it was those such as Elyssa Baldassarri , Jamie Dufault, Johnny Sederquist (aka Ninny Nothin), and Anna Rizzo, and lately it’s been Samantha Acampora, Sarah Reed, and especially Graham Stokes. The last two also appear in his latest opus, the strongly LGBQT(etc.) themed Disorienting Dick. Stokes full frontal nudity in the first shot gives the viewer a – er – taste of things to come.

Graham Stokes

This is also a very sharp political commentary as we meet Dick’s mom, the appropriately named Maureen Whiteman (Leslie Racine Vazquez), a Qanon, conspiracy-focused, money and power-hungry politician running for Mayor in a city in Rhode Island (where this is filmed), who is reminiscent of Sarah Palin, Lauren Boebert or Marjorie Greene (though Maureen is intelligent, unlike those others). The mock political ad at her introduction is both ridiculously over the top, and yet quite scary as it is also reflective of a certain level of Republican “values” as they stand today; it is also a theme that permeates the whole film. The subtle Ayn Rand reference by Dick is also telling.

Leslie Racine Vazquez

Dick, in the meanwhile, has a fiancée, Pat (Sarah Reed), who wears a Jesus sweatshirt, but it’s pretty obvious that it isn’t going to last as Dick becomes, in the words of the film, “oriented” (rather than converted). You just know it’s going to conflict with his mom. I am enjoying the political aspects of the story so far, rather than it being more of a gay romp like Griffin’s previous (short), Gay as the Sun (2020; reviewed HERE), which also starred Stokes.

Sarah Reed

While Dick is in the closet and having wild, softcore fantasies about men, his mother finds out his desires, and has him taken to the “Clinic for the Terminally Dandy,” an evil right wing conversion therapy organization (conversion therapy, by the way, is now banned by our neighbors to the north, in Canada; in the United States, only Washington DC has barred the practice on adults). It is run by the evil doctor Hyde Hippocampus (Terry Shea), dressed in black with a black eye patch on his right eye and his Nurse Rached-type nurse assistant, DeFarge (Amy Thompson). Advanced treatment includes the “Lindsey Graham Initiative.” Sorry to give some of the jokes away, but it’s just a smidge of them, and I am trying to clarify that this is a smart film as well as smutty (meant in a good way). 

But that’s not the whole story, as Dick keeps getting kidnapped back and forth between the conversion therapy and a competing “Clinic for the Fabulously Dandy” run by the twin of the other doctor, Jekyll Hippocampus (also Terry Shea) but with bright red clothes and a red eye patch on the other eye, and a non-binary nasty also Nurse Rached type, Atari 2600 (Albert Lin). Therapy includes such things as “Jungian Interpretive Dance.” At the latter institute, they try to get Dick out of the closet. Between the two, no wonder he is so disoriented.

Amy Thompson, Vazquez, Terry Shea, Stokes

The set designs and clothing in the second, positive clinic, by Margaret Wolf and Angela Shulman, are bright pastel colors, which reminded me of the original “Star Trek” series. In the conversion one, the color theme is muted and white, with no pizazz. The director once told me that the comparison of the gay sex in his film The Sins of Dracula (2014; reviewed HERE) was hanging of the chandelier type, whereas the straight couple sex was missionary and boring. This is a similar idea here.

Perhaps I am reading too much into the story, but it almost seems like the percentages are flipped, where 90 percent of the characters are some shade or degree of gay or bi, and 10 percent are straight. It is an interesting concept. In all, this is a morality play on what is right and wrong, with the philosophically metaphorical devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other, with one leaning toward straight and one towards being gay, but in this case, which is on which side? In fact, Jesus and the Devil appear in the film momentarily as that inner battle is in play (having those two in a Griffin release(ing) is nothing new (in fact Michael Reed has played both in different films of his, but I digress…).

Albert Lin, Shea

While some of the acting is appropriately over-emoted, there are a lot of really brave performances, by the likes of Victoria Paradis, Vazquez, and especially Stokes. The writing is especially sharp with both political and social commentary that does not drag the story down in any way, and at times quite biting (no pun intended); and the sex and nudity is all male on male and sometimes quite explicit, though not as much as, say, Shortbus (2006). The single lesbian scene is, not surprisingly, unseen. DD has a definitive direction in which it is going, and it follows true to its path, and I respect that, a lot.

There are a lot of elements going into this basic story, including sock puppets (you read that correctly), but deep down, it has a single theme. The last line of the film sums up the philosophy of Disorienting Dick in one sentence quite well (I will not give it away). You should definitely find out for yourself. Maybe the viewer might even learn something about themselves.

IMBD Listing HERE

Review: The Quantum Terror

 Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2022
Images from the Internet

The Quantum Terror
Directed by Christopher Cooksey
Mesmer Films; Christopher Moonlight Productions
79 minutes, 2022
www.facebook.com/quantumterror 
https://christophermoonlight.gumroad.com/l/The_Quantum_Terror

Want to get my attention about a genre release? Well, there are lots of ways, of course, but one is to mention HP “Lovecraft-inspired.” Yes! Bring me some of those tentacled Old Gods.

The focus of this story is on Silvia Carroll, who is missing (but not with Meagan). She and her creepy stoic boyfriend, Jacob (Matt Blackwell) were star graduate student researchers at the local university (Miskatonic was not mentioned; there is also no indication of it being in New England, as this is filmed in Kyle, Texas), under the direction of the wonderfully named Dr. Rathbone (Dimitrius Pulido). Seems they were studying the tunnels of their town that branch off a road overpass above a stream, and she disappeared. Silvia’s twin sister, the thick-make-up-wearing Sam(antha) (cute Kristin Cochell), is on a quest to find her missing sibling.

Jordan Michael Brinkman, Kristin Cochell, Paula Marcenaro Solinger

Also in the equation is the police in the form of hard-bitten – and a bit cliché – Detective Richie (Marvel Comics artist/writer Val Mayerik, who co-created Howard the Duck and Man-Thing). He suspects Jacob of some shenanigans about Silvia – as does Sam – and is peripherally doin’ some ‘vestigatin’. Joining in the search proper is Sam’s friend – and ex-girlfriend – Lucy (Paula Marcenaro Solinger) and her present boyfriend, Noah (Jordan Michael Brinkman), all of whom, of course, distrust Jacob. Though I will not reveal the answer, early on I wonder if Jacob becomes the villain or saves the day.

The four head out into the tunnels after the early expository first act that introduces everyone and their personalities (e.g., who is on who’s side). Silvia talked about other dimensions before her disappearance, and once they are in the tunnels, things…change. It reminds me of Grave Encounters (2011), where corridors and rooms transform as you pass through them. Here, tunnels become houses and back into tunnels, day is suddenly night, and people start seeing things. One confusing thing to me is how Jacob knew where the bathroom was in this mysterious abode; either it’s a continuity error, or he knows more than he is letting on. Hopefully, it’s the latter.

That’s when the tentacles come in. The introduction is almost like Japanese tentacle Hentai, or something the W.A.V.E. Video company used to produce. The tentacles are slimy and have a hook at the tip; but more importantly, they are practical SFX rather than digital, so they look pretty cool. Soon, the group becomes tentacle fodder and the other-dimensional creature becomes stronger. For a long time, you see the tentacles, but not the creature itself (perhaps Cthulhu?). Which brings me to the point of the further influence of Lovecraft. These inspirations are both direct and indirect, but sometimes both, such as the mention of The Hound of Tindalos, which was created by Frank Belknap Long, and used in a story by Lovecraft (I’m not a Lovecraft scholar though I am a fan; I just used Wikipedia).

Matt Blackwell

When we see the full creature back in the tunnels at some point near the third act, it reminded me of the space alien from an episode of “The Outer Limits” called “Cold Hands, Warm Heart.” In other words, it was an enjoyable SFX design.

I have to say, the film is quite imaginative, in a kind of mind-fuck way, and I mean that as a compliment. There is no consistent narrative as the space and events change dramatically and often, and yet the story can be followed. That being said, it does not talk down to the viewer. There are parts you may be scratching your head over (as I did a couple of times), but stick with it, it’s worth the watch.

Helping with that is the interesting and creative cinematography by Anthony Gutierrez, considering the limited space and lighting in the tunnels. Usually when a picture is dark, I whine about it, but here it actually works to made the passageways even more ethereal and claustrophobic. They walk around with flashlights, so we see only what the director wants us to see. Most of the photography is single-camera (often focusing on a particular person, rather than a group) that is often hand-held, but not in a found footage kind of nausea-inducing shaking.

Is this creature from another dimension? From space? Only in the imagination of one of the characters? More to keep the viewer intrigued. While there are some plot cliches, one of which I saw coming early on, there are also quite a few surprises as well, which I genuinely enjoyed. The acting is occasionally stilted here and there, but mostly everyone does a decent job of it. The dialogue is occasionally complex, especially Blackwell’s, but he handles it respectably.

 

There are a lot of little details that are presented to us, such as a recurring Nefertiti statue (she was the wife of King Tut) that has its eye whited out as a reference to later events. Also, the cast is relatively small with six main characters, but they all mostly get used well.

This is the director’s first feature after a few shorts, and it is definitely a push of the envelope for a relative newbie. There are indications of growth on work to come, and I for one welcome it.

IMBD Listing HERE 

 

Review: From Dusk Till Bong

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2022
Images from the Internet

From Dusk Till Bong
Directed by James Balsamo
Acid Bath Productions
90 minutes, 2022
www.jamesbalsamo.com

Man, there are a surprisingly large amount of horror spoofs that rely on the word “bong” in the title, such as Bong of the Dead (2011), and the entire and incredibly numerous Evil Bong franchise from Full Moon. And speaking of prolific, there is Long Island to Los Angeles transplant director James Balsamo.

From the title of this release, there is no question that we are talking about a comedy. Well, it’s Balsamo, and that’s his genre: horror and action comedy. What I find interesting is that this is closer in feel to Shaun of the Dead (2004), though this deals with vampires, so I’m willing to bet that’s why the name was adapted from From Dusk Till Dawn (1998); besides, there is no arguing that the present title revision is witty, coming from James “Mr. Pun” Balsamo.

Balsamo’s character (yes, he likes to star in his own films, what of it?) is down-on-his-luck millionaire playboy Tony Canoni, a character who was introduced in Balsamo’s BiteSchool (2015; yes, this is a sequel, or at least an off-shoot) who starts by narrating his expository introduction to explain why he’s screaming while holding a chainsaw, riding a giant bat (puppet), bathed in a monochrome red filter. This is followed by a brief bit of madness and extreme over-emoting by once mainstream A-lister Eric Roberts in a blink-and-miss-it cameo

To begin the crux of the story, vampire slayer Screaming Jay Pigeons (professional wrestler The Supreme Fighting Machine, Charles Wright, who is in the WWE Hall of Fame) is dressed in New Orleans’ type white skull face paint, sort of doing a more profane version of Dr. van Helsing, killing off a couple of neck biters as a nekkid image of his wife Leonora (J.E. Scripps) pops in and out. He is aided by his partner, Father Gill O’Teen (G. Larry Butler). This is merely some introductory buffoonery (meant bemusedly, not insultingly) that one comes to expect in a typical Balsamo film: fun, a pun, and women’s buns.

This is a common theme in my reviews of Balsamo’s films, so please pardon the repetition, but it is important and a key function of the auteur structure of his filmmaking: Balsamo’s films, because he shoots them overlapping with so many other projects of his own design, tend to be episodic, or set pieces strung together. This is not a negative comment, just an observation. This can lead to some clever gags, and sometimes it means things jump around from one thing to another, and then back again without rhyme nor reason. Well, the reason is, I am assuming, opportunity to film or an getting down an idea while it comes up. So, the film jumps back to Canoni and his vampire bat stuffy-doll-sized pal named Spat (about as big as Chucky but cuddlier and fuzzier, it is also voiced by Balsamo in a falsetto voice) as they discuss what has happened since Bite School 2 (2020; while I have seen the first release, I have not yet seen the sequel, so this is helpful). Balsamo is a big proponent of conversational (or narrative) exposition.

Cameos are a bit less abundant here, but many of the actors do come from the worlds of either professional wrestling or music. For example, there was the momentary Eric Roberts exposure, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, and some decent (and over-) acting from Robert Felsted Jr. (of the band The Moonshoots, and was also good in a lead role in 2019’s slasher film, Hanukkah), as Canoni’s friend Bill Diamond. 

The film, which I am assuming is shot guerilla-style (filmed in Nevada, with other shots using green screen to imply that it is the desert), mostly uses natural light and sound. This means on occasion, the sound varies (such as Canoni’s voice fading in and out when talking to his bat friend outside the Pit Stop Restaurant), and occasionally the scene is dark or washed out as a lot of it is shot either in a cave or during bright sunlight (these vampires have no probs with solar light), but as I am a fan of shooting off the cuff (i.e., not paying for a license), I’m okay with it. Besides, it beats lugging heavy lights around when you’re always shooting on the move. I say, save that money for the special effects and catering.

There are a lot of vampire-fighting combinations going on between Screaming Jay, the Padre, Diamond and Canoni. The final act of the film is mostly in a cave and occasionally hard to make out, but thanks to a flame thrower, that lights up more than just the neck (and dick, apparently) biters. Many a vampire – er – bites the dust, including Raven Van Slen…I mean Bill Victor Arucan as a Chinese undead who hops like a rabbit. No idea why.

A lot of the make-up/masks look pretty good, especially one with a face on his cheek, and the puppets are silly looking, but again, it’s not trying to be a Rob Bottin creation (nor a John Carpenter budget). There is lots of cleavage and nudity (all female), so I guess that’s something? All the better for one of Balsamo’s SexyTime compilations. 

Except for the darker scenes, you get what you get with a Balsamo film, and I’m always happier after seeing one. There are a lot of cool throw-away lines and gags (such as fighting a flying bat with a baseball bat), so you may want to pay some attention between spliffs (again, I’m straight-edge…seriously). Speaking of which, as the title, implies, there is a bunch of jokes about the big bright green pleasure machine, and surprisingly limited images of an actual bong.

As Canoni mentions, he’s off to fight Robot Dracula, so I’m pretty sure we’re going to see more of him.

IMDB Listing HERE 

 

 

Documentary Review: On the Trail of UFOs: Night Visitors

 Text © Robert Barry Francos / Indie Horror Films, 2022
Images from the Internet

On the Trail of UFOs: Night Visitors
Directed by Seth Breedlove
Small Town Monsters; 1091 Pictures
81 minutes, 2022
www.smalltownmonsters.com

I know I have said this before, but cinematically speaking, director Seth Breedlove is the “king” of cryptid mythology, with films covering ghosts, Bigfoot, Mothman, Momo, and so many others. Lately, he’s been doing television mini-series, and this film is a combination of two of them, “On the Trail of UFOs” (2020) and “On the Trail of UFOs: Dark Skies” (2021; reviewed HERE).There may be some new footage, but as I have not seen both of the others, I cannot tell, so I will focus on what is in front of me.

Most of Breedlove’s documentaries take place on the East Coast-ish, such as the Adirondack Mountains, or the eastern part of the Midwest, such as Missouri. For this new investigation, he travels as far as the San Luis Valley of southwestern Colorado, to start. Nice to see him and his crew stretch their legs a bit.

While the topic of UFOs and aliens is a well-worn trope, this isn’t about alien abductions, exactly, but rather the history of cattle mutilations that have been going on since at least the 1990s. For those who are vegetarians, vegans, and those sensitive and easily triggered to that kind of thing, be forewarned there are multiple images of the mutilations. While I understand the reasoning for these, as it is the topic du jour, they could have cut down on the number and just make the point.

As with other “On the Trail of…” shows and films, it is hosted by Panama hat-wearing cryptid investigator Shannon Legro, who also narrates the documentary, as well as being its backbone. She arrives in Colorado with the Small Town Monsters crew, which is three other men, including the director, Breedlove, as someone to bounce ideas off of for perspective.

As always, there are tons of first-person witness interviews, writers and paranormal investigators, as well as those in organizations focused on the topic, such as the head of MUFON (Mutual UFO Network, a collective of volunteers who investigate and keep records of sightings and other strange occurrences, such as said cattle mutilations).

Now, when I say first-person witnesses, I am talking about cattle ranchers who discover their stock after the tragedies. One claims of 24 of his herd were mistreated since the 1990s. But no one is an actual eyewitness, of course (that’s why it is cryptid) of the aliens, their ships, or the mutilations in progress.

Shannon Legro and Snippy the Horse

For that reason, the story eventually slides over to very briefly include abductions, such as a story of someone (no longer alive) who claimed he was taken many times. The documentary also flows a bit further south, where supposedly the cattle mutilation started (i.e., was first reported), and as one interviewee states, it is an area rife with other Earth-bound cryptids and witches (as the latter are relatively human, would they be considered cryptids?). It is here we meet the head of the UFO Watchtower, an organization similar to MUFON, run by a woman who has a literal watchtower on her middle-of-nowhere ranch, surrounded by UFO paraphernalia (e.g., alien dolls, signs, masks, art, mugs). It also has, connected to it, a museum and store, as we see her in front of the cash register at some point. I’m actually disappointed they used that image because it sort of cheapens what she is doing (i.e., is it a passion, or is it merely a business gimmick?). Part of her “collection” is the skeleton of the first reported mutilation, which is a horse named “Snippy.” Whether it’s really that particular skeleton is not verified in the film, but taken on the now-owner’s word. But that’s not to say there is not a certain level of skepticism on the part of a couple of the many people interviewed throughout

I find it deeply interesting that a common theme of Small Town Monsters’ films is matching the cryptid with its environment. For example, for their recent release titled On the Trail of Bigfoot: The Journey (2021; reviewed HERE) it was the mountains and forests in northern New York State, and western Vermont and Massachusetts. In this case, it’s both the Rocky Mountains and the Prairies to the east that lead up to them. The scenery here is beautiful for both, aided by the skillful use of drones to give a wider perspective; perhaps to give the viewer an idea of what it would look like to a UFO?

As always, the animation recreations are fun to watch, and vary in “realistic” levels. While there are some that show several “ships,” apparently most of the sightings, to start, as expressed by eyewitnesses, are more lights than objects, and some of the animation reflects that. The film lets the viewer decide if the images are manipulated or “genuine” footage, rather than announcing them.

Like most of the cryptid documentaries by anyone, Breedlove and others, there is no real evidence of its material focus’ existence, be it ghosts, Sasquatch, UFOs, etc., only first and second-hand accounts and stories, often bolstered by re-enactments. But still, that does not take anything away from the enjoyment level of the topic, especially if one is interested in that particular subject. Rather than sneer at these people who seem deluded, and knowing the lack of reliability of eyewitnesses, I am still drawn to these things, and Breedlove is a master at telling a story. Shannon also does a great job giving these stories life.

The documentary is available on iTunes, Amazon Prime Video, Vudu and FandangoNOW.

IMBD Listing HERE