Review: From Dusk Till Bong

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2022
Images from the Internet

From Dusk Till Bong
Directed by James Balsamo
Acid Bath Productions
90 minutes, 2022
www.jamesbalsamo.com

Man, there are a surprisingly large amount of horror spoofs that rely on the word “bong” in the title, such as Bong of the Dead (2011), and the entire and incredibly numerous Evil Bong franchise from Full Moon. And speaking of prolific, there is Long Island to Los Angeles transplant director James Balsamo.

From the title of this release, there is no question that we are talking about a comedy. Well, it’s Balsamo, and that’s his genre: horror and action comedy. What I find interesting is that this is closer in feel to Shaun of the Dead (2004), though this deals with vampires, so I’m willing to bet that’s why the name was adapted from From Dusk Till Dawn (1998); besides, there is no arguing that the present title revision is witty, coming from James “Mr. Pun” Balsamo.

Balsamo’s character (yes, he likes to star in his own films, what of it?) is down-on-his-luck millionaire playboy Tony Canoni, a character who was introduced in Balsamo’s BiteSchool (2015; yes, this is a sequel, or at least an off-shoot) who starts by narrating his expository introduction to explain why he’s screaming while holding a chainsaw, riding a giant bat (puppet), bathed in a monochrome red filter. This is followed by a brief bit of madness and extreme over-emoting by once mainstream A-lister Eric Roberts in a blink-and-miss-it cameo

To begin the crux of the story, vampire slayer Screaming Jay Pigeons (professional wrestler The Supreme Fighting Machine, Charles Wright, who is in the WWE Hall of Fame) is dressed in New Orleans’ type white skull face paint, sort of doing a more profane version of Dr. van Helsing, killing off a couple of neck biters as a nekkid image of his wife Leonora (J.E. Scripps) pops in and out. He is aided by his partner, Father Gill O’Teen (G. Larry Butler). This is merely some introductory buffoonery (meant bemusedly, not insultingly) that one comes to expect in a typical Balsamo film: fun, a pun, and women’s buns.

This is a common theme in my reviews of Balsamo’s films, so please pardon the repetition, but it is important and a key function of the auteur structure of his filmmaking: Balsamo’s films, because he shoots them overlapping with so many other projects of his own design, tend to be episodic, or set pieces strung together. This is not a negative comment, just an observation. This can lead to some clever gags, and sometimes it means things jump around from one thing to another, and then back again without rhyme nor reason. Well, the reason is, I am assuming, opportunity to film or an getting down an idea while it comes up. So, the film jumps back to Canoni and his vampire bat stuffy-doll-sized pal named Spat (about as big as Chucky but cuddlier and fuzzier, it is also voiced by Balsamo in a falsetto voice) as they discuss what has happened since Bite School 2 (2020; while I have seen the first release, I have not yet seen the sequel, so this is helpful). Balsamo is a big proponent of conversational (or narrative) exposition.

Cameos are a bit less abundant here, but many of the actors do come from the worlds of either professional wrestling or music. For example, there was the momentary Eric Roberts exposure, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, and some decent (and over-) acting from Robert Felsted Jr. (of the band The Moonshoots, and was also good in a lead role in 2019’s slasher film, Hanukkah), as Canoni’s friend Bill Diamond. 

The film, which I am assuming is shot guerilla-style (filmed in Nevada, with other shots using green screen to imply that it is the desert), mostly uses natural light and sound. This means on occasion, the sound varies (such as Canoni’s voice fading in and out when talking to his bat friend outside the Pit Stop Restaurant), and occasionally the scene is dark or washed out as a lot of it is shot either in a cave or during bright sunlight (these vampires have no probs with solar light), but as I am a fan of shooting off the cuff (i.e., not paying for a license), I’m okay with it. Besides, it beats lugging heavy lights around when you’re always shooting on the move. I say, save that money for the special effects and catering.

There are a lot of vampire-fighting combinations going on between Screaming Jay, the Padre, Diamond and Canoni. The final act of the film is mostly in a cave and occasionally hard to make out, but thanks to a flame thrower, that lights up more than just the neck (and dick, apparently) biters. Many a vampire – er – bites the dust, including Raven Van Slen…I mean Bill Victor Arucan as a Chinese undead who hops like a rabbit. No idea why.

A lot of the make-up/masks look pretty good, especially one with a face on his cheek, and the puppets are silly looking, but again, it’s not trying to be a Rob Bottin creation (nor a John Carpenter budget). There is lots of cleavage and nudity (all female), so I guess that’s something? All the better for one of Balsamo’s SexyTime compilations. 

Except for the darker scenes, you get what you get with a Balsamo film, and I’m always happier after seeing one. There are a lot of cool throw-away lines and gags (such as fighting a flying bat with a baseball bat), so you may want to pay some attention between spliffs (again, I’m straight-edge…seriously). Speaking of which, as the title, implies, there is a bunch of jokes about the big bright green pleasure machine, and surprisingly limited images of an actual bong.

As Canoni mentions, he’s off to fight Robot Dracula, so I’m pretty sure we’re going to see more of him.

IMDB Listing HERE 

 

 

Review: Death House

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2019
Images from the Internet

Death House

Directed by B Harrison Smith
Entertainment Factory / Cleopatra Entertainment / Dark Coast / MVD Visual
87 minutes, 2018
www.cleopatra-entertainment.com
www.mvdvisual.com

This film is a who’s who of horror, and for that I have been anticipating seeing it. I’ve heard it’s gotten some questionable reviews from viewers, but of course, I’ll decide for myself as everything is subjective.



Barbara Crampton

Usually, I’ll talk about the cameos towards the end of a review, but to mix it up a bit, here are just some of the people involved: Adrienne Barbeau (Swamp Thing), Michael Berryman (The Hills Have Eyes), Barbara Crampton (Re-animator and From Beyond), Sid Haig (Spider Baby), Kane Hodder (a five-time Jason Voorhees), Lloyd Kaufman (Troma Films), Camille Keaton (I Spit on Your Grave), Bill Mosley (House of 1000 Corpses and The Devil’s Rejects), Felissa Rose (Sleepaway Camp), Tony Todd (Candyman), Dee Wallace Stone (The Howling), Danny Trejo (Machete), Vernon Wells (Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior), Bill Oberst Jr., Sean Whalen, and supreme-o Scream Queens Debbie Rochon, Brinke Stevens¸ and Tiffany Shepis. It was also co-written by the late-great Gunnar Hansen (Leatherface in the original The Texas Chain Saw Massacre; d. 2015). Now that’s a roll call. Going in, I get the feeling most of these appearances will be short and sweet, but still… I’m just sayin’…

And we’re good to go, so it’s time to hit the play button.



\Cortney Palm and Joe Novak

Agents Trina Boon (Cortney Palm) and Joe Novak (Cody Longo) are given a tour into a secret prison where only the most heinous and insane murderers are stored by the government. Employing a Dante reference, it goes down nine levels until it reaches the worst of the worst, and possibly supernatural beings associated with Hell itself.

After an incident, the place is in lockdown… well, actually it might be more accurate to say that it is unlockdown, as all the prisoners are let out to roam. The skels and the agents are working their way down to the lowest level for their own reasons. The results are gruesome at best, walking down long dark tunnels with flashlights at worst.

Based on Hansen’s screenplay, there is a fine mixture of social and religious commentary, and a philosophical bent, rather than merely relying on blood and gore – of which there is plenty. This both works for and against the story, as it tries to be too many things at the same time. The commentary and psychology patterns itself after A Clockwork Orange, though it comes across as preachy rather than informative. But no complaints here about the splatter SFX, which looks great.

This could have been a great retelling of TheWarriors (1979)  as the agents try the levels to get to their destination with killers waiting around every bend, or even be seen as a video game-style of gaining tiers, but rather it jumbles around and focuses more on dark hallways and flashlights, basically skipping most floors. One could argue that it might be seen as derivative to do the floor-by-floor bit, but there are so many references of other films (e.g., Rochon plays a chainsaw wielding Leatherlace, as opposed to Leatherface), I don’t believe it would have mattered.



Kane Hodder

As I suspected, most of the cast – and it is frickin’ huge – appears in cameo form, but some are extended, and others are main characters (e.g., Crampton, Wallace Stone, Hodder). Honestly, it’s fun picking them out of the crowd, but it also is kind of a waste of talent. Having people like Brinke and Tiffany just standing in the background of a group shot made me sad. During the director’s commentary, Smith self-importantly calls this a “time capsule” and wonders who will be interesting when these horror stars are gone. There will be new stars, as there always are, but again, while it’s good to see these familiar (and semi-recognizable) faces, there needs to be more interaction with the audience. If there is enough time to show this much wandering around the complex, interface is also possible.

 

There were times I had no idea what was going on, between the dark and the philosophical, and was looking forward to the Smith commentary track, which actually was quite useful in clearing up things a bit, even if it was just for no reason other than Smith positing that “Jason kept coming back to life, and it’s never explained how in the films” [paraphrased by me]. I didn’t really need him repeating so much dialog that was onscreen, but still it was very much worth the listen.

Along with the commentary, the extras include a swath of Cleopatra trailers and a slide show, and there are nine interviews with the cast and crew with all but two coming in at less than two minutes,

Am I sorry to have watched this? No, I don’t think that would be an accurate statement. There are things to like about the film, but honestly, considering the firepower of its cast and crew, there are definitely moments that dragged that could have been excised (e.g., those pesky long hallway scenes in the dark), and replaced with acting rather than standing in the background for some of those onscreen.

And for those who care, there is a sequel supposedly is in the works on the origin story for some of the characters, and I’m curious to see it, honestly.

 

 

Review: Abominable (Special Edition)

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2018

Images from the Internet

Abominable (Special Edition)

Directed by Ryan Schifrin

Red Circle Productions / MVD Rewind Collection

94 minutes, 2006 / 2018

www.abominablethemovie.com

www.mvdvisual.com

Some form of the Sasquatch, or big foot, has been the subject of horror films for so many films over a span of decades that it could easily be classified as a sub-genre on its own; for example, there is another film called Abominable due out in 2019, which features an animated and kid-friendly Yeti. Personally, I feel the reason for the proliferation of this monster is a move that mixes the mystery of the dark and dangerous woods and a bit of the werewolf motif, i.e., a creature that is not normalized in culture (such as a lion, or wolf), but still human-line and… possible. Director Schifrin also points out during the commentary that  the Bigfoot is one of the few well known monsters that is not under copyright. More times than not – okay, nearly always – the beastie is a guy in suit (including here), which is okay with me because it depends on how it looks and how it’s used that matters.

This re-release version of the 2006 film is a two-disc combination of Blu-ray and DVD, both discs identical with one exception which I’ll get to in the next paragraph. For point-of-reference, I only put in the Blu-ray disc.

Right off, there is an option for an 8:35 minute contemporary introduction by the director, Ryan Shifrin, who discusses how the film was taken from its original format and made into 2K HD from the original camera negative, with some extra production values (e.g., redoing the CGI glowing eyes). For this reason, there is both the original and HD version available on the Blu-ray disc only, hence the two-disc difference.

Matt McCoy

Starting the film, there is a prologue about some scared farmers, namely Dee Wallace Stone, who I think of more in The Howling than the overrated ET, and veteran character actor whom you’d recognize in a sec, Rex Linn (that’s just the start of the many cameos, but I’ll get to that later, too). After, we are introduced to the protagonist, Preston, played by Matt McCoy who most people probably remember from many television appearances, but to me he’ll always be Lloyd Braun (“Seinfeld”). After an mountain climbing accident that cost him his wife and the use of his legs, he has now returned to a cabin he owns in a wooded area, doing the Jimmy Stewart / Rear Window thing, seeing all through a window with binoculars. He’s caught on that there is something literally afoot out there in the dark.

The others in the locale are Preston’s nurse and caretaker, the obnoxious and creepy Otis (Christien Tinsley, who also did the effects and make-up for this release, is a master make-up artist on the likes of “American Horror Story,” “Westworld,” and he won an award for Gibson’s The Passion of Christ), and a group of five young women partying in the cabin next door, which is apparently the only two in the vicinity. Soon, one of the women becomes missing, and only Preston has an idea of what’s going on.

As for Biggie, we see him in bits and pieces, such as his glowing eyes, and the inside of his mouth, but we do get the classic monster-in-woods-POV-shots with starburst flare around it, as he watches his potential prey. A group of attractive and nubile women in peril; isn’t that special. Dare I say shower scene? Well, it is way back in the good-old-days of 2006. Make Horror Movies Great Again?

Haley Joel

Okay, okay, I know I’m kinda mocking this as a throwback to the ‘80s, and yeah, in some ways it is, but don’t get me wrong: considering some of the hokey bits, such as the way the creature looks when we finally get to see it in full, it’s still a very effective film and honestly, quite enjoyable.

I read a review recently about the horror genre in general (sorry, but I can’t remember the source…if you know it, tell me and I’ll add it in), and it posited that jump scares are overused and they customarily have sudden loud sounds and spiked, dissonant shrieks in music to enhance the effect. Well, this film definitely relies on that formula, but they manage to use it quite effectively. Also, what Hitchcock liked to do is leave some cinema “space” on one side so you expect the jump to come from there, and then come from the other side. This is another tool that this film uses effectively because it doesn’t overdo it, unlike Carpenter did in the original Halloween, which kinda ruined the fear in the film for me.

A large cast means a numerous kill count, and this one goes hog wild. Not only are there the people in the two houses as potential fodder for the freak, but there is also a string of very impressive cameos (see, told ya I’d get to it) that show up throughout, such as those I mentioned before, Lance Hendricksen, Jeffrey Combs (the Re-Animator, himself!), Paul Gleason (the principal in The Breakfast Club and a high level police officer in Die Hard; he passed away the same year this was originally released), Phil Morris (who was the Martian Manhunter on “Smallville,” and best known as lawyer Jackie Chiles on “Seinfeld”), the underrated and yet arguably the one with the longest film credit list Tiffany Shepis as one of the members of the inevitable slumber party Bigfoot massacre. The entire cast does incredibly well for the budget we’re talking about at the time, considering it was shot on film stock. And may I say, Haley Joel’s sustained lip gloss in both volume and longevity considering the activity is impressive.

Dee Wallace Stone and Rex Linn

Speaking of body counts, the deaths are nice and gruesome with some fine effects. The gore looks great and there’s lots of it, building up to near the end. Despite the addition of some CGI in post-production, most of the SFX by Tinsley are practical and look great.

As with most Blu-rays, as I’ve said numerous times, there is a teeming of extras, so let’s get to the ones I haven’t mentioned yet. Because they had all the original negatives, they were able to put together some nice raw footage for the “Deleted and Extended Scenes” (6:13). Everything that was excised feels right, especially the last one as it gives out too much infomraiton; it’s left in much more subtly, which works better. Then there’s the “Outtakes and Bloopers” (4:09), which is time-coded footage with errors. Some of it is quite amusing and during one scene filmed over and over due to laughing, I kept thinking, “This is film stock and I bet the director is pissed.”

Some of the minor extras are different sound choices, two trailers for this film (and a few for other MVD Rewind releases), a “Poster and Still Gallery” and “Storyboard Gallery.” On a larger scale, there is the original cut of the film, which I saw parts of and there is a definite difference is some aspects and the way scenes are present, but I just skipped and jumped.

Jeffrey Combs

It starts to get more serious with “Back to Genre: Making Abominable” featurette, a 37:15 documentary of the making of the film from story to distribution, broken up into chapters filled with interviews with most of the cast. Now, long making-of documentaries tend of be tedious, but this really was interesting all the way through. It kept a nice pace and also avoided the fluff. Nice!

There are two short films included by the director, one of them being the 8:07 student film, “Shadows.” Shot in black-and-white, which follows a paranoid, wealthy artist who is afraid to leave his house hearing about local murders on the radio (the only voice you hear throughout). He is not nice guy to others, but is that his fear or sense of privilege? The other one is “Basil & Mobius: No Rest for the Wicked” (16:16), which follows two British scallywags as they try to steal some secret plans from a mob boss who runs a gambling house in Jolly Olde (played by Malcolm McDowell). There is gunplay, martial arts, quick repartee dialogue, and even a couple of zombies (one is Kane Hodder). These films are touched with some humor, and quite excellent fun.

Last up is the full length commentary, which I found very impressive. Just so you know, I usually write the main part of the review before watching the extras, so it was nice to hear some confirmation on some of my comments (e.g., the Rear Window connection and the lip gloss). Recorded in June 2006, it features Schifrin, McCoy, Combs and the film's editor Chris Conlee. Now, what I thought was remarkable was that while McCoy was there for most of it, Combs and Conlee’s comments are edited in (sans McCoy) for just the scenes with Combs’ Clerk character. This cut down on the over-talking and made everything clear. What’s more, the content of the conversation was kept to the film, so while there is some humor, it’s pretty straight forward and hardly any filler. A great commentary from beginning to end, and I don’t say that very often.

There is a folded, printed poster that also comes with the Special Edition, which is neat. The only thing missing, that I could think of, was captioning, but I’m not holding that against anyone.

I have to say, for a throwback via homage of some of the great horror films of the 1970s-1990s (though Rear Window was 1954), this is an effective thriller, and a fun time all around on so many different level.