Review: Truly, Madly

Text © Robert Barry Francos / Indie Horror Films, 2022
Images from the Internet

Truly, Madly
Directed by Brian Dorton (aka Katrina Lizhope)
reel EPIC entertainment
75 minutes, 2020 / 2022
https://www.facebook.com/Reel.EPIC.entertainment/

Louisville, Kentucky, where this film was shot, is solid “Red” state territory, deep in the Bible belt, with Trump signs on every corner during the last election and a cross nailed on multiple walls of every house. It is a center of the New Republic of Christ, where the religious are self-righteous, unvaccinated, and full of love for themselves and everyone else, if’n yer not a heathen, or gay. Or vaccinated.

In this environment, lives Anthony (Adam Freeman), who is both non-religious and openly gay. He shares his home with his uber-righteous mother, buxom Barbara (the appropriately named Sondra Carver), who has recently lost her husband and is a bit bitter. She’s also willing to go to any extreme to keep her son (and others) away from the “lifestyle.” Even if it involves knives. Y’see, Barbara is a bit like Kathleen Turner’s character in Serial Mom (1994) in that she has a tendency to take what she considers sin into her own hands, but without Turner’s ‘50s sit-com-like charm. (“God and I have an understanding,” posits Barbara in a moment of delusion).

Sondra Carver

Be it her son’s lovers or the pedophilic guy in the church, Bob (Douglas Connor), who has been found out, Barbara is not going to stand for this outrage to her Lord. And in full hypocrite mode, she is often at full ire and willing to judge others, including her neighbors. No cheeks turned with this woman, it’s blades and burial.

There are other interesting characters filling the story, such as Fran (Dixie Gers, the titular Crazy Fat Ethel in 2016, by the same director), who is a member of Barbara’s church and is actually closer to what Barbara is deluded to believe she is, which makes her angry, and Anthony’s trans friend Geena (director Brian Dorton), whose life is possibly in peril due to his association with Anthony (though just friends) thanks to mommy. And there is a nice kill ratio here.

Adam Freeman

There are a few minimalist levels to the film. First, and I am making an assumption here, is the budget. This looks like a threadbare story despite the nice sized cast, and the production looks like it cost about as much as the catering. I actually respect that, seeing how much can be done with the bare minutest. The other minimalism is the film’s presentation. There is no fancy editing, and even the acting reminds me of the early films of John Waters and David Cronenberg, if you get what I mean. And, again, I’m fine with it. The most common SFX in the film is added scratches and the program to make the film look like it was printed off a time- damaged negative.

Considering the overlapping genres in this film, it should come as no surprise that there is nudity, but nearly all male (except for a woman in a bathtub in a definitely non-sexual moment). As an ally, I have no problem with man-on-man sex scenes, though I’m not turned on by it (same with women-on-women, but I digress…). That being said, the male lead (Freeman) and his partner in the scene are handsome men, I know a lot of my friends who would happily raise an – er – eyebrow at seeing the bods, especially if you are into bears.

Brian Dorton

This is a very dark comedy geared toward the LGBTQ community, but not exclusively. There were lots of little things that made me laugh, such as Barbara calling someone named Sloan (Athena Prychodko) as “Sah-lone.”

The third act feels like it is going to be a bit anti-climactic, but instead, there is a really nice twist at the end that I didn’t see coming. Well done! It’s a bit convoluted and left me with a big question, but still so worth it.

When you decide to see this film, and you should, I recommend making it a double feature with Death Drop Gorgeous (2020; reviewed HERE) 

The extras on the Blu-ray include Deleted/Extra Scenes, Writer/Director interview, a Blooper reel, a Photo Gallery, and Trailer, which can be purchased HERE. 

IMBD Listing HERE 

 

Review: Saul at Night

 Text © Robert Barry Francos / Indie Horror Films, 2022
Images from the Internet

Saul at Night
Directed by Cory Santilli
JawDoc Productions; Utopia
85 minutes, 2019 / 2022

Covid vaccines. Voting suppression. Conspiracy theories. In all of these, and more, there is a contingent of people who believe that the government is trying to control our lives. Of course, this is mostly nonsense, but this film takes it as reality in a dystopian, twisted way. No, there’s no martial law, no Big Brother monitors. It’s all sort of mundane, really. And it is expressed in the opening shot of sheep, which could be referring to sleep, or…

In this version of society, sleep is mandatory from 10 PM to 6 AM. For everybody. Well, everybody except the titular – unrelated to “Please Call” – Saul (Kentucker Audley). For he alone is, in the words of Rhonda Sheer, up all night, for the same 8 hours everyone else is in sleepyville. While he sleeps, the world goes on around him, including his wife, Kathyrn (Stephanie Ellis) and their early teenaged daughter, Cleo (Acadia Colan). Sleep is enforced and controlled, so you fall asleep and wake up on the dot, and do not wake up in-between (do people wear adult diapers to bed, or is that controlled, too, I wonder…).

Kentucker Audley

They’re all in the same house, at the same time, but when the females are sleeping, Saul is awake with nothing to do all night, and vice versa during the day as Kathyrn goes to work and the kid attends school. For him, there is no television (no one to watch it, technically, so nothing is aired), no radio, no open stores – though everything seems to be unlocked as he wanders about, including a shopping center (Swansea Mall) and museums – since no one else is awake to steal anything; and like a vampire, no sunlight (I hope he’s getting enough Vitamin D). There are only handwritten notes passed between Saul and his family. In this world, there are no home computers, and cell phones will not work for him since there is no one awake to talk. Well, the one computer proper we do get to see is an old cathode monitor rather than a slim type. And when Saul needs to check in with the government at an office, we see green text on black screen, like coding before WYSIWYG.

Suzanne Clément

When he’s not at home, he’s roaming around an empty Providence, RI (I’m surprised the street lights are on, because in real life, they would be turned off to save government funds), until he suddenly meets someone else who is awake, French-only speaking Amalur (Suzanne Clément, who is Quebecois). After being essentially alone after over 800 days with no one to talk to, or hug, this is a blessing, and a curse. Until they meet, there is perhaps only a dozen words spoken in the film. When Amalur talks, there are very easy to read big, yellow subtitles, I’m grateful to say.

For the longest time, this is a personality study about loneliness, and the lack of mutual spontaneous affection. Even though Saul and Amalur don’t understand each other’s monologs, talking past each other, the sound of another’s voice draws them to each other, even though they both have families. And yet, for some reason, we see the effects on the daytime side of Saul’s family, but not Amalur’s husband and three sons (we only see a photo of them).

There is a very subtle commentary on propaganda and mind control, as we see the rare television commercial (there is no new programming, apparently, as all we see is a clip from the politically safe The Dick Van Dyke Show from the early 1960s; MAGA?) and a billboard, both promoting sleep.

Stephanie Ellis

It’s interesting, of course, to see the slow burn relationship between Saul and Amalur, as they both try to communicate the best they can, and not let emotions muck things up, which of course they do, but not necessarily how one might imagine. The film does not take the easy or obvious road, but perhaps a more realistic one. Emotions and nerves are close to the edge for all involved, not just for Saul and Amalur.

The film has been described as science fiction, which is nonsense. I’m sure in the mind of whomever wrote their publicity the fact that it’s a dystopian, authoritarian existence that may be what gave them that idea as a descriptor, but with voting rights being stomped on and a possible Gilead in our future, where technology is controlled by the government, the alterations would be in shades of difference from our current reality, rather than some grand Zardoz (1974), Logan’s Run (1976) or even Orwell’s 1984 perspective. There is an old bon mot that states that films about the past and future are really about the present. This one is especially true.

Considering this is the director’s initial feature after a few shorts, it is quite the impressive debut. The acting is all top notch, though considering the history of the talent that is hardly surprising, and despite the slow and steady pace, there is still a feeling of tension and urgency among the angst. A beautiful and moving film, as well as a warning of what may be around the corner.

Available on AppleTV, Amazon, and Altavod.

IMBD Listing HERE 

 

Reviews: Nocturna: Side A – The Great Old Man’s Night; Nocturna: Side B: Where the Elephants Go to Die

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2022
Images from the Internet

 Both these films are on iTunes/Apple TV, Amazon Prime Video, Google Play, Xbox, Vudu, Vimeo, DirecTv, local cable and satellite providers, and on a single-disc DVD. The trailers for the films will be at the very bottom of the blog.

Nocturna: Side A – The Great Old Man’s Night (aka Nocturna: Lado A – La noche del hombre grande)
Directed by Gonzalo Calzada
Cine Argentino; Coruva Cine; La Puerta Cinematografica; Breaking Glass Pictures
107 minutes, 2021
https://alief.co.uk/NOCTURNA

This will be the third and fourth film from Argentina that I will have reviewed on this blog, the others being Francesca (2015) and What theWaters Left Behind (2017; aka Los Olivados). Each of these films is quite different, but one thing that runs in common is the intensity. If you were expecting light fare like Mexican Santo releases, you have ladrò up the wrong árbol.

This is an intense study, focusing on a 100-year-old man, Ulises (actor and playwright Pepe Soriano, who has won the Argentine Critics Association Award three times, was also a Valladolid best actor winner, and was nominated for a Spanish Academy Goya Award; he is in his early 90s), facing his mortality, is working his way through remembrances and forgetfulness, as his age tugs at his present and past, and the holes of memory in between. His past is represented by a childhood self (Jenaro Nouet) from the day he met his wife, Dalia (Marilú Marini, who is often known for a number of French films from the 1970s and ‘80s) that is also represented by her younger version (Mora Della Veccia).

Pepe Soriano

It almost appears as time is fluid in many ways, as the film plays with the reality of the moment and the tricky bits of memory and its holes. For example, an event might be mentioned at some point, and then it happens. While this is purposefully unsettling and occasionally confusing at some point, it shows the mind of this older man, and his relationship with his wife.

Also involved is the kind-hearted building manager, Daniel (Lautaro Delgato), who means well and is trying to help the occasionally befuddled Ulises as best he can. Then there is the mysterious and angry woman from upstairs, Elena (Desirée Salgueiro), who bangs on Ulises’ apartment door.

 While the film rolls out in its own time, getting the viewer a chance to get to know the characters a bit, what stands out is the emotions, which flow like rolling hills, as the old man’s chest continues to hurt and things are not always as they seem.

Marilú Marini

For some reason, some have categorized this a “horror” film, and on some level I understand why, but I beg to differ. Yes, there are intense moments filled with dread and possible ghosts, but is it corporeal remains of people or spirits of memories, or some level of senility? This is more emotional thriller that goes at its own slow, precise pace (with moments of chill thanks to the lightening storm sounds going on outside the window and the uncertainty of what is going on). That being said, when the film premiered at Screamfest Film Festival 2021, it won many awards including Best Film, Best Director, and Best Actor.

Desirée Salgueiro

The camerawork is gorgeous, especially a warped glass scene where the past and present unite in a blur of images. The lighting throughout is yellowed and dim, like an old light bulb to match the mood and perhaps to reflect Ulises’ dimmer brain functions. While most of the story takes place either in Ulises’ apartment or in the hallways of the building, it never feels claustrophobic thanks to the cinematography which is, again, fluid.

The orchestrated soundtrack fits the film perfectly, swelling and rising at the same time, to help hit emotional peaks. Yeah, this is more of an poignant film than a fright-fest, but do not be surprised if, by the end (or at the end), you have a couple of tears rolling down (yeah, I did).

IMBD Listing HERE 

 

Nocturna: Side B – Where the Elephants Go to Die (aka Nocturna: Lado B – Donde los elefantes van a morir)
Directed by Gonzalo Calzada
Cine Argentino; Coruva Cine; La Puerta Cinematografica; Breaking Glass Pictures
67 minutes, 2021
https://alief.co.uk/NOCTURNA

While the first film was a bit longer than average, this one is a comparably shorter nearly featurette, at just over an hour. Likewise, this review will be relatively short, as well.

The footage here, broken up into many chapters (as was the main feature). However, there is no narrative. Images are shown that reflect the full story, and are manipulated to look like they are 8mm (or an equivalent), with grain and varying speeds, many in black and white or muted, manipulated colors. In the first chapter, the images were going by so fast, I was getting a bit of motion sickness, and I would skip this part if I were an epileptic, honestly. Or, hide the top part and just read the captions. As with Side A, the captions are incredibly easy to read, being an almost orange color, making it pop out. Also, I find most captions go faster than I can read them, but that rarely happened in either Side.

As for the text meanings, well, honestly again, it was a bit lost on me. It’s philosophical and whimsical, and often I had no idea what they were discussing (yes, I have a Master’s in Communications). This caused me to stop reading and just enjoy the footage as it went by. It feels more like an art instillation than a narrative film.

By modern U.S. standards, Side B would probably be delegated as an extra on a DVD or Blu-ray (especially the latter), which is why it makes sense that both are being released together. It kind of has the feeling of a Making Of featurette, but the footage is unique, albeit shot at the same time as Side A, almost like Outtakes of extra footage. It certainly is a curiosity, but I did find myself getting antsy by the end, but that was most likely due to my confusion than an opinion of the film proper.

IMBD Listing HERE 

Side A trailer:

Side B trailer:

Reviews: 5 Various Supernatural Shark Films

Reviews: 5 Various Supernatural Shark Films

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2022
Images from the Internet

Every once in a while, I get an itchin’ for some really, really tacky films, especially during a pandemic when many of us have been at home way longer than one would necessarily want. So, what better place to look than ones that combine both “real” life horror machines, like sharks, and the supernatural? While the whole shark fascination dates back at least to Jaws (1975) and the popularity of the Discovery Channel’s “Shark Week” (starting in 1988), it was arguably the Sharknado franchise (starting in 2013 and counting) that kicked off the absurdity (meant as a compliment) level of mix-and-match sharks, and… everything else.

These films below are not ranked, but are listed in the order in which I watched them, all from TubiTV. Note that my shark snark is truly meant to be fun and rib-poking with a touch of stream of consciousness. I had just the right low-budget expectation for these films, so I was not blindsided by anticipating a theatrical extravaganza experience. After all, when it comes to the cheese level, there are times when ya want melted brie on toast, and others, Cheez-Whiz on animal crackers. I enjoyed these films for precisely what they are. The coming attractions for all of them are at the bottom of the article.

 

Shark Exorcist
Directed by Donald Farmer
Stratosphere Entertainment; MVD Entertainment
71 minutes, 2015
www.facebook.com/Shark-Exorcist-1432091707036857/
www.MVDb2b.com

Right off the bat, you can tell this is a grade-D funfest in the so-bad-it’s-still-bad-yet-manages-to-be-fun-because-of-it way. The acting in the intro is a sheer indication of it, not to mention the level of CGI shark with glowing yellow eyes. And may I say, the shark is in a Tennessee-filmed lake. Yep, not the salt-water ocean it depends on, but a fresh-water lake. Not well researched or just don’t give a damn in a “Gilligan’s Island” sort of way? Either one, I’m down for it. In the story, an evil nun imbues a shark with the malevolence of Satan (one of the tag phrases for the film is “Satan has Jaws”). Meanwhile, three young women who are totally unlikeable albeit attractive drive to the lake, and one, Ali (Angela Kerecz) is attacked. Though bloody, there are no punctures, and she is now also possessed by the shark devil, with big, sharp teeth to attack at the right times. As one of the three, Channing Dodson does pretty well in the acting department, but Madison Carney’s performance (I’m specifically looking at the “whatever” scene on a park bench as an example) is almost joyously painful. The film is a collection of set pieces more than anything else, such as a psychic investigator who has a television show (Roni Jonah, who as luck would have it has the ideal name for a story about a big fish that swallows people) and becomes possessed by the demon, or the shark, I’m not sure, but she gets to do an abbreviated version of the green pea soup bit (Ali does the full one). Then there’s some sorority sister wannabes, a mentally challenged woman obsessed with sharks, and a nice cameo by filmmaker James Balsamo as a jogger. There is also a non-sequitur piece involving a seance in a cemetery that doesn’t go anywhere. Many of them involve women in bikinis, or at least swimsuits, if that is your thing. Funny, no nudity, though, and no gore either, just syrup-looking blood. It takes a while before the priest (Bobby Kerecz, hubby of Angela) comes into the picture other than in bits and pieces. When he shows up, he gets to do the exorcist part of the title on Ali, tied to a tree rather than a bed, in very inexperienced fashion and bad sound quality. The coda of the film during the credits is two extended b-rolls that I believe were intended to indicate a possible sequel, but as far as I know, that hasn’t happened yet. Shame.

 

Ouija Shark
Directed by Scott Patrick (aka Brett Kelly)
Say What Productions; Wild Eye Releasing; MVD Entertainment
70 minutes, 2020
www.wildeyereleasing.com
www.mvdb2b.com

As I have said before in other reviews, while I do not believe in the supernatural as a reality, Ouija boards unnerve me. I was given one once as a teen, tried it a couple of times with no results, but still not only threw it away, but chopped it up with a hatchet first. For this Canadian film (because of sharks in the Great Lakes?), tatted, multiply face-pierced and bound in a cleavage-bearing bikini under her GOAT tee (a bit of self-referencing, as the band’s music is used over the final credits), Jill (Steph Goodwin) finds an odd spirit board at a beach that looks like it was made from a piece of a wrecked ship. Joining with a group of women after at a house, And what else is this bunch gonna do but use said board…though I’m not sure where Jill managed to get an oversized heart-shaped planchette (sans window), which was not found at the beach. This raises a see-through albeit deadly ghostish shark that is not locked to water, and even has a cougar-like growl. It flies through the air with the greatest of ease, chasing down people (when female, they are in bikinis) in forests, or floating above a pool. Last film I made comments about a shark in a lake, but here, there isn’t even that. Yet, for a film that claims to cost less than US$300, it still looks decent if implausible. But the body count is high with some cheesy gore. The acting is mostly okay and the cast is definitely nice in the eye-candy way (especially our original group, including Zoe Town, Robin Hodge, Christina Roman, and Amy Osborne; wait, if this is a Canadian film, can I still use the Oxford comma?), though Jill’s dad (John Migliore, who co-wrote the film) is as wooden as a stake; but again, all part of the joy of the low-budget sea (or floating above sea) creature experience. While daddy dearest consults a psychic (Kylie Gough), Jill teams with a mysterious man with an echoey, otherworldly voice (the director, Brett Kelly), in order to stop this ghost gnasher. Will they succeed? Does it matter? Films like this tend to be for the fun journey, not necessarily the destination. While technically not a comedy, per se, there is a nice use of (intentional) humor in the dialogue here and there, mostly as throwaway lines, but it livens it up a bit. I definitely smiled at those parts, especially the coda piece tagged on the end, and the use of a French word that was a wise and clever choice.

 

Virus Shark
Directed by Mark Polonia
Polonia Brothers Entertainment; SRS Cinema; MVD Entertainment
74 minutes, 2021
http://srscinema.com/home
www.mvdb2b.com

This will be one of two shark films covered that was directed by Shark… I mean Mark Polonia, who seems to have made a chunk of his career on odd shark films, like Amityville Island (2020) and Noah’s Shark (2021). According to IMDB, the budget for this one was $182, which doesn’t seem realistic to me considering the amount of CGI, unless they didn’t even budget for catering. It also makes total sense that someone would combine the pandemic and sharks (or anything else). The disease here is called SHVID-1. While there is no supernatural element present and it takes itself somewhat seriously, I consider it odd enough to be on this list (again, a compliment). For this story, sharks have been infected and their bites on humans has escalated to a worldwide disaster, with cities burning and mass amounts of people dying, perhaps even enough that the Red states acknowledge it this time. A group of scientists are in a research lab under the ocean (?) to experiment on captured infected sharks to try and find a cure. It looks like it was filmed in a sparse office building where there is absolutely no signage on the cement block walls, giving both a claustrophobic feel, and one of expansive space, thanks in part to the staircases, where some scenes are shot. They are an odd bunch of randy people, watched over by a single sociopathic macho security guard with bare arms to show off the “guns,” Duke (Ken Van Sant, who has played this character or versions of it before in such films as 2016’s Sharkenstein and Bigfoot vs. Zombies, both directed by Polonia), who looks like he just stepped out of Troma’s Surf Nazi’s Must Die (1987). There is an interesting mix of Zoom type shots and groups together for filming during the pandemic; I’m guessing the groups were filmed early on and the Zooming later in the year at the height of Phase 1. For me, the biggest problem here is that it takes itself too seriously, even with characters that are extremely stereotypical (again, randy scientists who seem more interested in possible hook-ups than the cure). The head of the team, Gregory McLandon (Titus Himmelberger, who has appeared in a number of Polonia shark-related releases, looking quite a bit like Josh Brolin in 2007’s Planet Terror). He definitely has more interest in a past lover who is the group’s connection to the surface world gone to hell, Shannon Muldoon (Sarah Duterte) than his job. The only scientists who actually seems to give a care, and possibly close to a breakthrough, is Ann Satcher (Natalie Himmelberger) and Kristi Parks (Jamie Morgan). Between backstabbing, failing infrastructure, and the virus starting to spread in the close quarters (reference, perhaps, to Poe’s short story, “Masque of the Red Death,” from 1842), things get hairy, and zombie-like. I like that Polonia tends to use much of the same cast in many of his films, giving some kind of consistency. That doesn’t mean it is necessarily acted well, but as with the rest of the zeitgeist, it makes it unintendedly funny in a good way. With all the mishigas, the story really kicked in when the exposure under the sea takes hold and starts to ravage the cast. Then there are the mutant blood-drinking “marauders.” So much happening in such a short piece, it doesn’t get the chance to get boring. The make-up is cheesy but not too bad for the budget. Overall, the film was time well spent in silliness. In my humble opinion, I wish the Polonia brothers would cut down a bit on their schedules and pay a bit more attention to one film at a time, perhaps the overall quality would be improved from unintendedly funny to perhaps so-bad-its-good (Mark released six films he directed in 2021, with one more completed and two in post-production, for example). Either way, again, it is worth the watch just for the audacity of it. Respect, brothers.

 

House Shark
Directed by Ron Bonk
Potato Eater Productions; SRS Cinema; Duke; MVD Entertainment
112 minutes, 2017
www.facebook.com/houseshark
www.sharkhousemovie.com
www.srscinema.com
www.MVDb2b.com

Director Ron Bonk has not only directed a bunch of oddball films in general, like She Kills (2016) and Clay (2007), but has also produced a number of shark films for other people, such as the Polonia Brothers. Bonk runs SRS Cinema, so he has a personal outlet. His own films tend to lean to the silly side, but with a sharp snide of comedy that balances it out. Good stoner stuff, if I was into that. He also seems to have a thing for weird facial hair either cut in exotic ways or so fakey looking paste-ons one can’t help but laugh. In this case he relies on the character of Abraham (Wes Reid) for that, who wears a fakey Lincoln kinda beard and matching shock wig. For some reason, most of the characters are named after US presidents and other historical figures, such as the main character Frank Roosevelt (Trey Harrison, who was the also-weirdly mustachioed Dirk in She Kills) whose wife is Lady Bird (Melissa LaMartina) and his son is Theo (Nathan Bonk), the House Shark hunter Zachary Taylor (Michael Merchant), etc., including the shark. If that doesn’t indicate that this is a comedy, I don’t know what will, but yeah, it’s well written if acted with heavy emoting at times, and so far is the best of the shark films on this list. For the story, Frank’s house has been invaded by a house shark (in land-locked Rochester, NY), who obviously can move on land and make a gory and bloody mess. Frank is trying to protect people but a shadowy real estate agency is aiming to sell it from under him before it gets foreclosed by the bank. Hilarity, gratuitous nudity and gore abound as Frank enlists Zachary and Abraham to plot ways to get rid of this foul house-bound creature. There are lots of mash-ups thrown in, such as a Star Wars reference with Darth Squanto (Wayne Johnson), Aliens (1986) and a Tarantino-esque dialog about vending machines that could have come from Pulp Fiction (1994). In Jaws (1975) terms, or Aw-jays in Pig Latin as it is used in this film, each character fits a role, with ex-cop Frank in the Brody role, researcher Zachary as Hooper, and gruff alcoholic Abraham filling in for Quint, who gets to do a hysterical version of Quint’s navy story concerning the Real Estate Parade of Houses. It is true that the film is a bit longer than it needs to be, but it never drags, even with a fixation on things related to the anus. Yet without the action, and there is a lot, especially in the second half, the dialogue itself holds up; some by Abraham sounds ad libbed. I was impressed with the pro-LGBQT stances scattered throughout and disappointed a bit by the homophobic names. As a straight dude, I’m having trouble reading which way the film leans, pro or con. With the use of audacious underwater filters, very visible strings on objects to make them look like they are floating, and breath holding for ridiculous amounts of time, the film reminds me a bit of LakeMichigan Monster (2020), which is a high compliment. Make sure to stick around until after the credits for the coda. My big question, though, is as follows: since it takes place and is filmed in Rochester, did anyone sneak a bit north to Irondequoit to visit the House of Guitars (The HOG)?

 

Shark Encounters of the Third Kind (aka Aliens vs. Sharks)
Directed by Mark Polonia
Polonia Brothers Entertainment; Wild Eye Releasing; MVD Entertainment
75 minutes, 2020
www.wildeyereleasing.com
www.MVDb2b.com

The reason I saved this one for last is that I am a fan of the screenwriter, John Oak Dalton (an interview including about this film is HERE),  who directed The Girl in the Crawlspace (2018) and Scarecrow County (2019) along with writing numerous screenplays for the Polonia Brothers. I will say one thing for the Polonias, they certainly do like to make use of masks, including this, the beforementioned Virus Shark, and The Empire of the Apes franchise that started in 2013). Based in name only on two Steven Spielberg works, it would be foolish to compare them, just on budget alone. The total cost of this is probably an infinitesimal fraction of the salary of one of the stars of either earlier film. No, the reason to watch this is to see what they can do for how little, the purposefully cheese level, and the sheer absurdity and audacity of it all. And again, this is a compliment. As Dalton said in that interview, “I like to try to make (my films) funny, with a lot of nods to horror fandom, lots of energy and outlandish situations and characters.” In that, he is utterly successful. The swimmer underwater near the beginning alone speaks to that, and had me feeling joyous in its visual and textual insanity. Polonia does well to mix stock footage and newly shot ones – sometimes even combining them – to create an atmosphere that fools no one, but puts the scene in appropriate context. And I haven’t even gotten to the opening credits yet, which come in at the 9-minute mark. As for the crux of the story, cleavage-bearing therapist Dr. Kay Radtke (Jennie Russo, who was so good in She Kills, and looking so much better than she did in a cameo in House Shark), who seems to only own one dress (yes, it’s that film budget thing, but at least it accentuates) discovers a man’s shark bitten head on a beach, which brings in square-jawed harbor patrol Alan Cason (Titus Himmelberger, who has one of the best lines in the film based on John Carpenter’s 1988’s They Live) on the job. Radtke is now running her late group sessions in Santa Monica for people who have been abducted, or believe they have (of course they have in this context), including Camila and Nesbo (Natalie Himmelberger and Steve Diasparra, respectively, both of whom, along with Titus and others, are Polonia regulars, and all appeared in Virus Shark). Meanwhile, there are treasure hunters looking for a U-Boat that was reportedly sunk in 1945 with escaping Nazis and gold (or was it an urban legend?). To finish the trifecta, a pair of “greys” have taken their UFO and gone unda da wata, with intentions unknown. All three parts of the story dance around each other, and will eventually crash and smash into a single storyline, I have no doubt, as they tend to do in the film world. Polonia and Dalton have very similar film aesthetics as far as wanting to entertain the audience, and they have proven, once again, in the schlockiest of ways (again, a compliment), they have the ability. Just keep your expectations at a certain level, not expecting a MCU level extravaganza, and you may just find yourself having some fun.

 

Review: Monsters in the Closet

 Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2022
Images from the Internet

Monsters in the Closet
Directed by The Snygg Brothers (aka John Bacchus aka Zachary Winston Brown)
Purgatory Blues LLC; Gravitas Ventures
89 minutes, 2022
www.facebook.com/MonstersInTheCloset

Man, I have not seen a genre film shot in my home town of New York City in a really long time (though I do believe some parts were done in Pennsylvania). I would rather see it in a horror than something like “Blue Bloods,” to see the city streets and lights. You know there are going to be overview city “placement” shots of b-roll footage. And sure enough, one minute in…

This is actually an anthology film that is shot for this release, not cobbled together (I like both formats equally, FYI). It is kinda cool that the wraparound story itself has a prologue. Actually, calling it a wraparound is kind of inadequate, as it is also one of the anthology stories and is the key connector between the pieces. I love when they do that.

Jasmin Flores

Raymond Castle (Tom C. Niksson, aka Tom Cikoski), an annoying writer of horror short stories and collector of things macabre. I am sure other viewers than myself will be looking at the merchandise in the background and saying “I want that,” or “I have that.” The posters on the wall are for sexploitation obscurities like Rock ‘n’ Roll Frankenstein (1999) and An Erotic Werewolf in London (2006, starring Erin Brown, aka Misty Mundae.

The premise of the film is that Castle has used black magic to make his stories come to life if they are read aloud (a well-used and beloved trope, such as “Beetlejuice!” “Bloody Mary!” “Candyman!”). This results in his estranged daughter, Jasmin Castle (Jasmin Flores, who co wrote the wraparound with “Snygg”) coming into the picture as she tries to figure out just what is going on. Playing an audio file version Raymond created of his stories on his computer (titled – you guessed it – Monsters in the Closet), we start off with the short films.

For example, the opening salvo is a humorous and gory partial first-person POV zombie apocalypse, as we see a woman becoming a zombie from the perspective of said flesh-eater. We hear her thoughts in clarity as others see her as a creature. This was done, albeit in a different effect, in Wasting Away (aka Ah! Zombies!!; 2007). While this idea has been done before (e.g., the short “2 Hours” in 2012, sans humor), but this is smartly written and designed. As promised, this brings you-know-whats storming the Castle house.

Now, under – er – normal circumstances, one would stop with the stories right there, and Jasmin is too occupied to listen to more, so an unexplained disembodies hand (borrowed Thing from “The Addams Family” perhaps?) climbs the keyboard to start the stories going again while Jasmin has her space continuingly clustered by creatures of various sorts and the tale telling is on autopilot.

Other stories include an annoying couple (Carmilla Crawford, Luke Couzens) buying their first fixer-upper house and the slow build-up of tension and violence turning into a bit of body horror/torture porn as they try to bring it up to snuff with limited experience (“Well, I did have shop in High School…” he states). In another, a rich, out of touch and racist father (Phillip Green) and spoiled daughter, Tiffany (Jordan Flippo) – obviously modeled after Donald and Ivanka – who argue about a camping trip; she talks about mistakes she will make in the future, such as eating pizza with the wrong fork, a line that made me stop the film and laugh, having grown up in Italian Bensonhurst, Brooklyn, home of the best pizza, where slices are folded when eaten, with no utensils needed…but I digress… She is not the sharpest stick in the woods because of the stick up her jealous ass, leading to some dire actions in a version of Richard Connell’s “The Most Dangerous Game” (1924) – shades of Don Jr. and Eric. While no one gets shot on 5th Avenue, the philosophy remains the same.

Of course, they save the best and funniest for last. Seems Dr. Frankenstein (John Paul Fidele) and the Mrs. (a hysterical Valerie Bittner) – note that the film calls her “Mrs.” rather than “Ms.,” not me – live in…well, I won’t spoil the best joke in the film. After an accident, the “mad” doc does his Frankenstein magic and viola, etc., et. al, and so on, ad nauseum. It nicely uses purposefully cliché classical tunes like Edward Grieg’s “Hall of the Mountain King” and Maurice Ravel’s “Bolero” to give it a Universal Pictures oeuvre.

It is smart that the film casts a wide net in genres, with many classical monsters in one form or another, but in completely different contexts and sprinkled in witty writing. Raymond’s between-story ramblings sound a bit ad-libbed and peculiar, even here, but I’ll swim with the fishes (or elephant sized chickens…see the film).

While there is no nudity in the film, there is a bizarre sex scene and a whole lot of cleavage. The gore and blood are plentiful. The practical SFX runs from really gross and dripping, to cartoonish and, well, mannequin limbs. There is also some digital blood spurts added as well, "splashing" the camera lens. But that’s the thing about having a foundation of comedy, which hear varies from the dark to the whoopies!, and that is that it gives room for the cheese to ferment, and becomes more accessible and acceptable. If they used, say, a mannequin arm in a Saw film, for example, that would not fly, but in something like The Mask (1994), it makes room for drawing outside the lines.

Tom C. Niksson

The film looks pretty good. I was a bit concerned about the opening, honestly, with it’s use of primary lighting (red, blue, cyan), thinking it may be leaning heavily towards a Creepshow (1982) vibe, because this starts actually looking a bit like that, being an anthology and all, but as we move along, that type of dated lighting is curtailed and it is easier to focus on the stories rather than it trying to be “art.” That being said, there are some lovely shots here, that are atmospheric and artistic, but it doesn’t bludgeon you over the head (pun not intended) with it, but it is used sparingly throughout.

The previous film by “The Snygg Brothers” was Beaster Day: Here Comes Peter Cottenhell (2014), which I honestly have not seen, but I am going to at some point as it is on Tubi (the image of Peter Cottenhell is Raymond’s screen saver). Two things about the “Snygg Brothers.” The first is the “Snygg” collective is like the Ramones, where in the credits there is a bunch of first names followed by the other, such as Vincent Snygg. The Swedish word snygg means “handsome,” but I’m guessing in this case it may also be an acronym, like [??] New York [??] Group. As for the director, it is a pseudonym for a man who is basically known for directing adult fare, both soft and hard, but obviously has enough talent to give us, at this point two horror films that are nicely offbeat.

[Added later: I finally saw Beaster Day on Tubi, and while it is as stupid and silly as can be in a fun way, some of the writing is actually quite hysterical, and Fidele, who plays Dr. Frankenstein in Monsters, steals the film with his role as a mayor who is prescient in Trumpian political spin.]

IMDB is HERE