All genres of suspense, terror, and horror will be reviewed by Richard Gary. His address to send preview copies supplied upon request to rbf55@msn.com.
Written and directed by Daniel
Falicki Rotomation Pictures / Sector5 Films Chemical Burn / World Wide Multi Media 139
minutes, 2014 www.Sector5films.net www.mvdvisual.com
This
is the second film I’ve reviewed by director Daniel Falicki (and have one more
in the queue), and I’m actually quite impressed. He has shown some artistic
flair in Awaken the Devil (2014; aka The Anti-American) and I was looking
forward to view this epic horror comedy and see a new side to the man.
For
this one, John Spinelli (Matthew J. Dennis) is basically a good guy who got into
a bad situation with substances, and ended up being arrested, but that’s all
backstory. Where we pick up is John being released and sent to a halfway house full
of weirdos, including the uptight proprietor, Ethel Kranski (a humorously
uptight Marly Green; “Your silence indicates consent! Do you understand?!”)
and the kindly nun, Sister Mary (Sheri Beth Dusek, who is also a producer and
co-writer), taking care of the spiritual side. Others include two brothers
named Robert and Bob who drink a lot
of their homemade beer and a couple into Cosplay and gaming, to name a few. The
small town locale of events is called Rapid Falls, and I’m guessing it’s supposed
to be Iowa due to a 515 area code shown on a television
Matthew J. Dennis as John Spinelli
In
the outside world, his girlfriend Ruby (Liz Nolan) is not pleased with him and
his legally forced upon him job as a bag boy at a supermarket (though it looks
like the location is actually a liquor store, but I digress…), where the name
on his apron is misspelled “Jon,” which introduces some other bizarre characters.
Somehow, you get the feeling worlds are going to collide, Jerry.
Next
to the halfway house is an century-long abandoned abode, which always has a
mysterious mist around it that no one seems to notice. And at 3:33 AM, there is
some mysterious light flashing action going on across the way, which leads to gruesome
murders (off-screen) in which people have limbs removed (and in one case, the
person had been beaten to death with their own arm; nice touch, no pun
intended).
Is
there any reason to think our chooch
of a hero is not the one who is going to get blamed? There is a police
detective on his trail, but we know there is something more sinister going on.
Hell (again, no pun intended), this is a
flippin’ horror film, after all. What I especially appreciate is that there is
a lot of assumptions (just shy of red herrings) the viewer (okay, me) can make
for certain reasons I won’t go into, so no spoilers, but the film doesn’t lead
where you expect. I’m grateful for that. There are some loose ends (e.g., why did
this mystery pick John?), but overall it’s a pretty fun ride.
The
performances are actually quite well done. Despite the occasional scenery
chewing, the leads – including Dennis, Nolan and Chris Kotcher as Father Stark –
do an excellent job at it. This is especially true of Dennis, despite moments
of madness, shouting and going a bit off the rail (because of the events in the
story), but generally he’s sympathetic and believable, even when he’s being a stronzo to others.
Part
of what makes this a fun film is not just the acting, but some of the dialog.
Sure, there is the (racist/xenophobic) comic relief of a character titled Sgt.
Shithead (Jason Roth, whose performance was very powerful in Awaken the Devil), but there’s lot to
listen to if you pay attention. This is considered a comedy, but many times the
humor is very subtle, such as playing with names or lines you could easily miss
if not pay any mind.
For
me, the one flaw was the length. Two hours and 18 minutes was just too long to
keep the attention totally focused. If it was tightened to a reasonable 90
minutes or so, I can see this being evenmore betterer, and it was pretty good
as it is. A few scenes lagged that could have been tightened (e.g., while
everyone was waiting for the 3:33 AM time), but I’m glad I saw it anyway, and
would recommend it.
Written and directed by Ken
Roht Tree of Shade / Orphean Circus Chemical Burn /World Wide Multi Media 90
minutes, 2014 / 2015 www.Chemicalburn.com www.mvdvisual.com
Let me just put this out there for the moment
for you to sink your teeth into: a vampire musical with sex and gore and
zombies galore.
This certainly isn’t the first horror
musical. First one I can think of is Incredibly
Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed Up Zombies (1964),
but there’s also the likes of Phantom of
the Paradise (1974) and if you want to go that far, The Phantom of the Opera (2004). There’s probably more, and feel
free to add them in the comment section below, but at this time of night that’s
all I got. However, is it a coincidence that all of them were made in a year
ending in “4”? I think not!!!
Kevin Richardson
So getting back to the review: Todd (Brandon
Heitcamp), the “hero” of the story, has just been turned into a vampire against
his will by his supposed friend (aka doucebag) Burt (Kevin Richardson, the tall
goateed soprano guy from the Backstreet Boys, or as I like to call them, zzzzz). Needless to say, does he dump
the vamp? No, they both go to their favorite low-end strip club where Todd’s
girlfriend, Connie (Diva Muffin Zappa…yep, Frank’s baby girl) is a very bad
stripper (and singer). She gets pissed that Todd is now a dark walker and in a
fit of anger turns the crowd against Burt with a “Kill the Vampire” song. When
it ends, Burt sings in that Ted Neely high-pitched rock way that brings
everyone back to his side, just in time for Todd to bite Connie, who likes
being a neck sucker. The comic, emcee and club owner, Sid (star of a multitude
of A-grade daytime soaps, Brian Gaskill), get bit by Burt and dies, and that
raises an army of strippers to seek revenge, let by Sid’s girlfriend/stripper, Dori
(the very cute Laura Martin in a huge, awful ‘80s rock wig).
To hide out, Burt and Todd hightail it to a
photo shoot at Candyland where the photographer Clare (joy to watch, scene
stealing Sharon Ferguson) is also a drug dealer. Apparently, Burt not only
indulges in blood, but he’s a bit of a connoisseur of addictive powders
(reminds me of the British character from the fun 2003-04 cable show Dead Like Me).
Todd, in the back
This comedy musical is enjoyable, but
completely insane. It definitely has that “some people will find this a camp
classic” written all over it. So, let’s look at different aspects of it.
First of all, the music by Paul Goldowitz ranges
from really good angry rock songs, to very, very lame Broadway incidental
songs. The singing also ranges from decent, such as Richardson’s upper register
high-pitched rock notes to, well, you might want to hold your ears when Diva is
– er – singing.
Surprising to me, Richardson holds his own.
If you haven’t guessed, boy bands are not my thing (though I did come up with
the perfect 1990s boy group cover band name: 98o ‘N the Backstreet
Boys Sync; it makes more sense if you read it aloud), but he definitely was in
control of the action as a force, which both not expected by me, and I was
grateful because he really center the action. On the other hand, it should be
noted that for me the big flaw in the film is that Burt really isn’t that
likeable. For the antagonist, you either want him completely heinous or an
anti-hero. Here, Burt is just a big asshole.
Connie (Zappa) and her zombie pals
Every single character here is just plain
nuts, from the vampire zombie Connie to the vampire hunter and his wife, to the
strippers and their very gay backup dancers. Even the somewhat normal characters, such as the two other
zombies, Todd, the photo shoot lackey, and Sid’s vengeful girlfriend, really are
certifiable.
I mentioned the word camp before, and it really does apply to this, and not just to the
extreme sissyboys and the brother and sister played by the same actor, but the
whole stripper vs. vampire in a musical milieu is right up there as a retahded (as they say in Boston) cousin
of The Rocky Horror Picture Show
(1976); and I get the feeling, in part, that is not lost on the makers of the
project.
Taking place essentially in a 24 hour period,
the pacing is brisk and never slows down. This is largely thanks to the
off-beat, drug-addled, gory humor. And as bad as she is a vocalist, Zappa
really is a lynch-pin to the comedy of the film, with good timing and acting. This
leads to another comedic turn by two cognizant, flesh-eating zombies, who are a
very nice touch, and have some great dialog readings.
Angry strippers and backup dancers
The camp sort of nullifies the stereotypical
gay aspects and even the “Damn, now that I’m a vampire, that means I’m bisexual”
whine that crops up occasionally. The four gay characters (said male dancers
and two models at the photo shoot) are over-the-top girlymen. However, there is
a strong misogyny running through this. Once you get past the strong “kill the
vampire” strippers/hookers, they tend to be either bitches (the office manager
for Clare), or sex objects (Clare’s assistant) and models who are stoned and
dressed in 18 Century Paris couture and powdered wigs. Not counting Bert, there
are some women who are over the top batshit crazy, such as Clare, Connie, and
one of the strippers, Coco (Tracey A. Leigh), who loses her mind when she gets
a hold of a pistol. Some might say they are strong characters, but others may
raise an eyebrow.
So yes, this is a silly musical that I
actually watched three times because it’s also funny in its sheer audacity and
ridiculousness. There is also decently looking blood galore throughout. Take
that as you wish.
Bill Huckstabelle: Serial Rapist Written, directed and edited
by Jerry Landi Fiona Studios / Amuck Duck Films 56
minutes, 2015 www.Vimeo.com/
Since
even before the days of Hostel
(2005), the Roughie genre (pre-Sexploitation) has been coming back. Early
versions of the style from the 1960s, for example, include Scum of the Earth (1963) and Bad
Girls Go to Hell (1965). It’s the kind of film that feminists (rightfully)
were up in arms about. It has resurged with the likes of the Japanese Guinea Pig series, or indies by those
such as Dustin Mills (e.g., Her Name Was
Torment [2014] and Applecart [2015],
though to be fair, both genders are the objects in his releases).
Director
Jerry Landi, known for his Blood Marsh
Krackoon (2014), is back; his latest deals with, well, you-know-who, if you
couldn’t tell by the name of the films. Y’know what is the difference between “Based
on a true story/incident” and “Ripped from the headlines”? The former is predicated
on something you’ve probably never heard of before, and the second has a
foundation in someone or something infamous. Y\know what the two of them have
in common? At least 95 percent bullshit. I’m not saying this is a bad thing,
just the truth (pun intended). The major divergence with the second is you have
a better chance to recognize the real bits, such as here.
Landi
takes “America’s Dad” head on, albeit in a near completely fictionalized
version of one of the most beloved / reviled actors in recent history. Although
fictionalized, it does well to also make some fine points about the entire
event, such as denial and blaming the victim (“it was so many years ago, why
now?” as a co-worker recently said to me, about origin story). Throughout the
review I will refer to the real person as Cos, and the fictitious one as Bill,
just to keep them straight.
Having
formed a friendship with director/actor Sean Weathers, Landi directs him in the
first feature that Weathers stars in but has not directed. I was looking
forward to seeing someone else lead point for Sean’s actions at least once to
see some acting stretches.
Rather
than the early 1960s, the back part of the story here takes place in 1990, so
when they catch up to “now,” rather than being in his 80s, Bill is only in his
supposed ‘50s (Sean looks way too young for that, being 35, but this is given
as a compliment). The unfunny standup comedy routine (intentionally?;
personally, I found the Cos stuff from his early career, before the revelations,
hysterical) of Bill reflects back to Cos, with monsters and Skinny Vinny, both
referencing a bit about Od Weird Harold.
There is even a veiled indication of Cos’s first television show, I-Spy (1965-1968).
After
the black and white flashback, we brought to the present, where Bill hosts a program
called Kids Say the Dumbest Things, a
not very hidden reference to the Cos’s own remake of Art Linkletter’s Kids Say the Darndest Things (1998-2000).
Never saw the Cos version of the show, so I can’t speak to its accuracy. Bill’s
show and endorsements, however, are in jeopardy thanks to the hounding by
daytime television show host Cindy Marie (Weathers’ regular Sybelle
Silverphoenix, giving the strongest performance I have seen her do so far). She
has even interviews some of his alleged victims, such as the self-lip-lickin’
Casey (Sara Rosenberg).
Sybelle Silverphoenix
Bill
is supported in public by his long-suffering wife, Leeanna (b-movie regular Erika
Smith, playing a white version of Cos’s wife, Cam…let’s stop there) and his
manager Schlomo Rosenberg (Landi regular and scene stealer Sal Amore); he is also
helped in his evil, hidden side by sidekick Louie (Brian Martin) and the
occasional others.
One
of the references in the film is the Bill sit-com, “Safe at Home,” where he
teaches his son about responsibility using fake money (a bit taken directly from
the first episode of “The You-Know-Who Show”). But despite that, there is a lot
of mixing up of timelines by changing the order of events, which is not a
complaint in any kind of way, just an observation. But there are also some
interesting little bits here and there, such as some anti-religious statements
(not that I’m a fan of organized religion), and a negative mention of Kim Jong
Un, my guess is to possibly raise The Interview
(2014) level-reactions and publicity. Nice try, even if it ends as only a
commentary on those events.
The
following comment has nothing to do with anything, but this is filmed in the
New York area, most likely Landi’s home turf of the Bronx, and Weathers’ locus
of Brooklyn (Silverphoenix is also from da
Bronx), and some of the accents are beautifully thick (I say that without
sarcasm) as can be, especially Amore’s. Having grown up in Bensonhurst, with a
Bronx-bred dad, it made me feel at home.
There
is one thing regarding this film about which I felt a bit uncomfortable. In
Weathers’ films, women are often mistreated, but there is either retribution,
such as with They All Must Die (1998),
or his own characters are treated more harshly in the long run, like in Act Jackson is a Dead Man (2015) or Scumbag Hustler (2014). It is the
violence against women that is on display here, be it via beating, skinning,
etc., that feels unbalanced. Even during the many rape scenes, the women are
naked and the men are fully clothed. Heck, Weathers has been shown a propensity
to be naked to show off the muscles at the drop of a lens cap in his own films,
but that does not happen here. This one-sidedness is, to me, the biggest
drawback of the film.
Brian Martin and Sean Weathers in the titular role
As
the film proceeds and veers ever further from the latest reports on our 24-hour
news cycle about Cos, by the end it’s (hopefully; who knows what really happened with Cos) completely
over the top, and that is actually a somewhat good thing, because it helps with
the “not based on any real or living person…” disclaimer thingie that goes at
the end of every film.
The
extras are the trailer, a 13-minute unrated “Making Of” that is a mix of gag
reel, deleted scenes, and behind the camera stuff, and a really good 8-minute
film called Rex Baily by Landi about
a has-been and bitter baseball player, who signs autographs in a bar in the Bronx
for a living (made me think of Mickey Mantle on many levels).
Honestly,
this is not the most shocking film name I can think of off the top of my head –
that would go to Bill Zubub’s similarly titled Jesus Christ: Serial Rapist (2004) – but this is definitely up
there in the Troma-level Whaaaaaaaaah? class.
It’s also pretty brave, if you think about it, because Cos could pos – er – I mean
possibly find offense and do a law action (not saying the sue word, but cease and
desist do come to mind).
If
you like serial killer films or just human monsters in general, this might
interest you. There is a lot of female nudity and violence, some decent acting,
and a nice level of bang for the
production buck. Den dere are doze axcents…
Written, produced, directed and edited by Jason Figgis October Eleven Pictures / Pop Twist Entertainment / A Man in Green Tub
Productions 106 minutes, 2012 / 2013 www.mvdvisuals.com
In our mediated culture, we have
bared lots of cinematic diseases that cause the apocalypse of modern
civilization, but most of them tend to be followed by zombies. For this film,
it’s a different, possibly more realistic, and dreadfully dower future.
Set in Ireland, a new viral plague has
hit the world where adults are susceptible. They start by becoming irrational
and psychotic, or sometimes it’s like a form of violent Alzheimer’s. Soon,
organs shut down, and they die. The children are left over to fend for themselves
in this new humanity.
Fran (Emily Forster) and Evie (Catherine Wrigglesworth)
The main focus of the story, taking
place nine months later, is two siblings, and their journey. There’s the older
sister, Evie (Catherine Wrigglesworth), who is in her mid-late teens, and her
younger ‘tween sister, Fran (Emily Forster). After the death of their parents,
they take off on foot, keeping themselves company and reading from The Railway Children to try to obtain
some semblance of home / normality, such as it is.
Before long, they run into a bunch of
other teens, who do not treat them well; the viewer also gets to know them as
well. One of the more interesting aspects of the film is the flashbacks of many of
the major characters and the moments of their parents’ decay to keep us up on
their motivations in the present.
It’s a very smart story, reminding me
of a similar themed, bleak book I had finished reading recently(without implying
they copy each other, because they don’t) called PostApoc, by Canadian Liz Worth. The reason I bring it up is because
I believe that the topic is triggered by two factors: one is the absolute
insane rise to power of genetic mutations with companies like Monsanto messing
around with genes of plants and arguably animals, and also said zombie apocalypse
movies and television shows that may make one think about “what would happen in
the real world if…”
This film never shies away from the
experience, nor takes the easy road from beginning to end, showing a new world
order in a similar way that the British film Threads did in 1984 (ahead of its time, for sure), in the latter
case being the struggle in post-nuclear Sheffield. If you’re looking for humor,
you’ve come in the wrong direction.
For this film, there are hierarchies and
cliques of teens that would make Mean
Girls (2004) look like a support group, and even a collective of cannibal
kids trying to survive, posing both the philosophical and pragmatic question of
what does one do for food after all the packaged and canned foodstuff is gone in a post-farm-knowledgeable society?
Beautifully shot, mostly in what
appears to be abandoned homes, the color saturation is drained, giving it a
gray tone, and the flashbacks are even barer, with a sepia hue that keeps just
a bit of color left.
The acting is all top notch,
especially Forster as the volatile Fran. She’s had just enough of the
quibbling, struggling and unnecessary pissing contests. She just wants to go
back to the way things were, while riddled with nightmares about her parents. But
part of her anger is knowing that is not possible.
Is this film right for you? Well, it
does have its problems and questions, as well. For example, what I kept
wondering through the whole film is: a lot of these characters
appear to be in their late teens, or possibly early 20s. Does that mean the plague
has passed, or at some point will all these people die when they reach a
certain, unspecified age? It’s not explained, but I’m guessing that is in part because
none of the characters know.
The problem for me is that there is
just too much damn repetitive talking that doesn’t progress the story, which
takes the power out of the events. If the dialog was tightened up, this could
have been a good 80 minute film, but they just keep on. For example, when the
sisters walk into the headquarters of the mean teen group, the conversation
that goes around carries on much longer than necessary.
The two extras are the trailer and a
short about the making of the music video connected to the film which leads to
said video. By the way, here’s a little secret you may not realize: if there is
no dialog in a trailer, odds are they’re trying to hide that it’s not in
American English; it’s a trick going back to the 1960s, at least. I’m not
saying it’s a bad thing, it’s just a thing. Oh, and the company that made this
is October Eleven Pictures, which is the date when Oliver Cromwell’s New Model
Army killed 3,500 in the Irish town of Wexford in 1649.
This is a powerful film, and it the
lack of having a direction in which to live by for the characters actually feels
accurate in the situation. It’s definitely a view of a darker dawn, and if you’re
up for that, this could be your – er – meat.
In a sick and twisted way, one could
almost look at this as a retelling of Candide
(check to see if Voltaire is turning over in his grave yet, because I’ve only
just started).
Diminutive, tattooed and toothily cute
25-year-old Stephanie (played by the aptly named Krystal Pixie Adams, aka
fetish model Pixie VonBat) is bullied by her parents (real life couple M.
Catherine Wynkoop and Joel Wynkoop, the latter being the infamous co-lead star
of Tim Ritter’s 1995 classic, Creep),
but no more than herself. She looks in the mirror before going to her burger
flipping job and states, “You are one ugly bitch, Stephanie.” The problem is her
parents want her to have a better life with goals (what bastards!), but she’s a
slacker who essentially lives in the moment, and just can’t seem to think past
her present involvement. This also means she cannot see consequences.
Her middle-aged burger boss, Mr.
Estevez (Herb Kowalski in a wig and fake eyebrows that kinda look like they
were made out of shag carpet) is disappointed in her because she gives services
the staff orally, but not him. He humorously tries to impress her by bragging, “I
started as a stockboy and worked my way all the way up to Assistant Night
Manager. I make $12.50 an hour now, y’know what I mean?” It’s moments like
these that make one realize that this is actually a very, very dark dramedy.
Without going into very much detail, after
being (allegedly) “Bill Cosby’d,” she ends up being hooked out to druggies and drunkies by
some older, biker guy named Reo (Joe Makowski), who spouts lines like “You have
to look life in the face, and life’s an ugly motherfucker, let me tell you!” He is a low-lifer, an addict, and
the member of a three-man criminal ring, along with Samir (Bob Glazier) and
Mookie (Jules Sceiro), who make him look like a mastermind Lex Luthor.
There is a scene with the three of
them that I’m sure was going for a Tarantino-esque moment, with a long tirade around
a table about the sex lives of the presidents since Ronnie “I single-handedly
ruined America by handing it over to the religious skumbagz” Reagan. How this
scene ends, well, you’ll have to see it, but it comes to a natural conclusion
in its context (and when you watch it, don’t say you were surprised, even if
you were amused).
Krystal Pixie Adams and John Miller
Through all these demeaning men
(feminists should be righteously angered by most of this), there is only one
(anti)hero with the whaaaaat? name of
6’9 (the film’s director, John Miller), a “nice” guy who sells drugs and yes,
pimps out our little Steph, replacing his previous call-girl (Ashley Lynn
Caputo, whose character died so gruesomely in American Guinea Pig in 2014). But is willing to share the proceeds
(shown in a shopping montage where he
has final say over what she buys) and not beat her, so he must be considered caring.
This leads to a rivalry with a black
gang expressed in part through arguably the longest
twerking-while-having-cash-flung-around montage in cinema history.
While all this is happening, Steph
tends to whine, but keep believing it’s the best it can be at the moment
(hence, Candide; you can stop
spinning now, Francois-Marie). I’m not sure if this film is promoting that it’s
worth it to work a regular job or it’s
not; in other words, in this situation, I’m not sure of its philosophy, but it’s
an interesting journey for Stephanie and the viewer.
If you were to gather the average IQ of
all the people Steph meets (and arguably herself) after she leaves home, it might come out to a double-digit number.
But, sometimes these are the people who vote Republica… I mean share our world
too, right?
Speaking of which, is there a lot of female nudity (no male), including
a hardcore girl-on-girl oral one involving Pixie (who smiles directly at the
camera/director as if to give the breaking the fourth wall okay) and equally
tattooed Niecy Nice. This was a surprise, as was Nice’s intimate masturbatory
poking. As for the blood and gore, there’s not much of it, though, except for one
brain splattered scene, it looks like not much attention was paid to it, which
is okay, because this is a crime drama, not a slasher film.
Another interesting and unexpected
addition was a couple of fantasy scenes (at least I think at least one of them
was in the first act) that added to the flavor of the film. The music is a bit schizophrenic,
but I’m sure that’s meant as different groups having sounds that signify their
own space, such as the Reo scenes having old-tyme Americana songs (think of
2000’s O Brother, Where Art Thou?)
and the gang members possessing a rap background, including songs by one of the
actors, George “T-geezy” Streets.
As for the acting, well, it’s what’s
to be expected sometimes of micro-budget indie films. Sometimes you have to
look more to the action and the zeitgeist of the entire story, rather than the
players participating. It was hardly in the category of the worst I’ve seen
(e.g., there’s no looking to the side for the card readings like in most
airings of “Saturday Night Live”), but it does have a bit of an amateur level
to it.
All in all, there’s enough to
recommend, and stuff you need to be a genre fan to really get a kick out of it.
I fall into the latter category, and found multiple things to like, but it’s
tempered by a couple of scenes that could have been cut down further (such as
the aforementioned Twerking montage… actually, there were possibly too many
montages in general). But I did enjoy the film, and that’s sayin’ something.
After
college, Meagan Mullen (Katarina Hughes) moves from her family in California to
Bayonne, NJ (isn’t that punishment enough?) for a teaching job. And then there is
something other-worldly going on in her apartment.
Mixing
documentary style (“based on a true story…”) and found footage, we learn right
from the start that something has happened to Meagan, as she is referred to in
past tense, so there is no spoiler alert there. Her mom (Stephanie Domini), dad
(Travis Peters) and law school student older brother (Adam Lowder), among
others, reminisce about what a wonder kid she was, and beautiful person she
turned out to be, while we see real VHS home video clips and photos of Hughes
as she was growing up. This is a really nice touch.
Katarina Hughes as Meagan Mullen
Being
a child of modern technological and mediated culture, Meagan is constantly
video selfie-ing herself as a record to send home, which is a lovely thought,
but man, the ego is tremendous. Is there anyone who actually needs to have this
much of their life recorded?
But,
of course, there’s the mysterious goings on, such as a door in the background
opening and closing by itself behind her, or a strange shadow that crosses over
the camera. Didn’t anyone else (i.e., family and friends) watch them? No matter
what happens she stays there; I kept thinking of the Eddie Murphy routine from Delirious (1983) where he talks about
white people staying in haunted places. Why didn’t someone tell her to get the
fuck out? While spending half the time whining about sounds keeping her away or
clothes that have been pulled out of drawers and end up on the floor, she
claims she’s happy there, as well.
As
you may have guessed by this point, this borrows liberally from the Paranormal films. What that means, of course,
is that while Meagan or anyone else is in front of the camera, you’re not
looking at them, you’re looking behind to see if any spookiness is slinking by.
After a while, that stops though, as there is a “tell” (a poker term; look it
up) where there is some “noise” on the image, sort of like digital static, just
before something occurs (most of the time). As Michael Palin said in Monty
Python, “Oh! What a giveaway!”
Perhaps
on some level, Meagan brought this all on herself; it seems she would play with
an Ouija board trying to conjure spirits at some point (pre-Jersey), and it is
possible the spirits or poltergeist followed her, is one of the implications. After
all, Meagan does a couple of strange things even before moving to Jersey, such
as standing in the back yard during a rain staring at nothing.
One
thing that kept sticking in my mind is that everyone keeps going on and on
about how wonderful, open, cheerful, positive, etc., Meagan was, and I kept thinking that this is
defensive behavior, because it was just too over the top, in a “the lady doth
protest too much” (Hamlet, FYI) way.
But I’m not even halfway through the film yet, so we’ll see, eh wot?
The
entity in question is a riddle. Is it said poltergeist, is it the ghost of
April (Paulina Grochala, who was also the lead character in a short film by
Rodriquez called Faust, which is also
centered around an Ouija board) who was murdered in the apartment before Meagan
moved in, or is it possibly a demon as one character (Amy Rutledge) posits? April’s
murder becomes an obsession for Meagan. Wisely for the story, there are a lot
of open questions at the end, rather than sewing it up nicely, for which I’m
grateful.
The
film relies more on spooky happenings than on anything else, and while there is
a scene with some blood, this is hardly what one could call a gorefest. If you’re
looking for some exposed body parts, well, that’s completely out of the
question. What you will see is some decent acting, an okay story that would be
better suited at an hour rather than full feature length (but then again, I
feel that way about most movies I review), and some nice jump scares. What you
won’t find is anything related to the DVD cover image other than the
aforementioned Ouija board. Oh, and the only extra is the trailer (as seen
below).
This
is totally a digression, but I once owned an Ouija board. At some point it
unnerved me so much, I took an axe to it, and threw it in three different
garbage containers around the neighborhood. Did not like the mojo.
As
far as recommendations go, yeah, if you liked the Paranormal films, or enjoy stories of possession or supernatural
events or things that literally go bump in the night, you might be pleasantly surprised.
This is not your father’s Caesar and Otto.
Let me ‘splain.
The Caesar and Otto franchise is like the Abbott and Costello collection (and I certainly
am not the first to make that comparison) in that they are a series of films
about the same two characters; here, they are half-brothers who share a dad, and
have a deeply conflicted love-like-hate relationship.
Caesar (Dave Campfield) and Otto (Paul Chomicki)
In previous films, Caesar and Otto’s Summer Camp Massacre (2009) or Caesar and Otto’s Deadly Xmas (2012), Caesar
Denovio (Dave Campfield) was pretty unlikeable, kind of like Stinky Davis (a
pre-Three Stooges Joe Besser) character from the “The Abbot and Costello Show” (1952). The character also had a weird,
halting, annoying voice. Well, here’s the change: Caesar has matured – a bit –
and some of what made him so criticized has been taken away. He’s not as one-dimensional
and shallow, he’s not as mysteriously girlish (despite the opening sequence),
and he’s definitely not as mean. Don’t get me wrong, Caesar’s not a guy you
necessarily want to hang out with, but Campfield has done a spectacular job
revisioning him as a fuller, more realistic character, and occasionally
likeable, which makes it easier to identify with him without taking away what makes
Caesar Caesar. Oh, and that voice is mostly gone. From the commentary, that
also works well with/for Campfield.
Less is changed about Otto Denovio’s (Pau
Chomicki) slovenly demeanor, but he is also softened a bit. He was always
likeable, but here he becomes more of a big, smelly (wash that orange shirt
already!) teddy bear, still looking for love, or for this film, his long-lost,
thought-to-be-dead mommy (Beverly Randolph, one of the leads in 1985’s The Return of the Living Dead). One
thing that hasn’t changed I’m happy to say is that Otto’s voice, or rather his Lon’Gyland (aka Long Island) accent, is
still front and center.
With many horror comedy films, you can view
this as just plain silly, but if you are wise to the ways of indie spoof horror,
you will recognize just how smart a film it actually is; definitely the
strongest of the series to-date. I may be giving away too much too early, but I
enjoyed all of this film.
One of the smartest things about the premise,
which I’ll get to shortly, is that Campfield breaks down the fourth wall to
make many meta comments, such as the fact that in most of the Paranormal Activity franchise, nothing happens, until the very end, the
rest being dull. But the meta part is the indication that like reality
television, the found footage subgenre
is actually a sneaky way to make inexpensive films with little crew (e.g., no
camera people because it’s either the actors who are doing the shooting, or the
cameras are just mounted on walls), yet tend to bring in decent bucks.
Another
finger to the side of the nose is the in-jokes that follow through all of the
CandO films, such as Avi K. Garg’s Police Chief character getting seriously
hurt but being okay, and losing limbs that are just resewn on again and agan
(his “Oh, come on!” line reading is
hysterical; oh,
and shhh, check out the Easter Egg commentary by him). Additionally,
there is the main villain, the nearly Satanic Jerry (Ken MacFarlane) and his
minion, Roberta (Samantha Barrios), who return from previous CandO excursions.
Also, CandO themselves have some shticks they repeat, such as jumping out of a
moving car when mad (it’s a humorous bit).
JamieLee Ackerman
The
plot is, well, bizarrely fun and a bit all over the place, as is almost always
true in spoof comedies because there is so many references (more on that
later). Our hapless bros and their scene-stealing father, Fred (Scott Aguilar)
take a job housesitting for Jerry’s mysterious mansion for the season, where
lots of weird and Ooo-WEE-oo (hear
that as played by a Theremin) paranormal
activity seems to be happening. There are also two servants, one a lovely
lass gardener named Gilda (Josephine Iannece, aka JoJo, aka Campfield’s
real-life girlfriend), and the other a quiet and kind of scary chef, Kyla
(JamieLee Ackerman, posessing a lovely Irish lilt), who always seems to be
carrying something sharp. Next door to the abode are a couple of high IQ’d retired
Playboy bunnies, Jamie (Troma queen Tiffany Shepis) and Judy (Stef Barkley).
Like
most of the CandO franchise, it always feels like it’s a mix of horror and a
kind of twisted 1930’s farce in that the action and the dialog happen really fast (thus I recommend more than a
single viewing since I had noticed things all the times I watched it). It’s
important to pay attention, because things come
and go so quickly around here. This is true of the especially subtle bits,
such as someone getting slapped and the sound is off-sync’d, or words and hints
that are written in the background with magnetic letters.
Some
of the references are pretty obvious (Halloween
[a mix of 1978 and 2007], Paranormal
Activity [2007], The Shining [1980],
etc.), but picking out some of the hopelessly obscure ones are also fun. For
example, and I’m not sure if this was intentional or not, the half-circle openings
on the porch reflect nicely on the “eyes” of the house in The Amityville Horror (1979), also referenced within the story. Adding
a clip from the Campfield short Piggyzilla
may also reference the pig seen in the window of the original Amityville. Perhaps I am overreaching?
Brinke Stevens and Brinke Stevens (check your pants)
Every
opportunity is taken to inject some humor with a nod and a wink, such as some
title cards; for example a church called Our Lady of Low Production Values.
Most of the dialog is filled with nuggets: Jerry mentions that previous
caretakers at his house went crazy from isolation (sound familiar?), but when
we see the house, it’s just on a suburban street. Or there is a brief
commercial for stronger deadbolt locks, reflecting on an earlier, funny gag.
Another throwaway bit, again about previous housesitters, is mentioning “that
guy who resembled James Brolin and tried to kill his whole family, and then
married Yentl.” Then, as the Fred tells Otto, “…Your mother died a couple of
years before you were born.” Did I mention that two grave diggers are named
Lenny and George (no mention of rabbits, though)?
There
is also a very sly bit with an exorcist priest named Fr. Jason Steiger, named
after two horror priest actors, Jason Miller (d. 2001) of 1973’s The Exorcist and Rod Steiger (d. 2002) of
The Amityville Horror (joyfully
played by CandO regular Deron Miller), where he’s turn over to the “Vatican
Police” by a fellow priest named Jude (John Thomassen) for $30. These lines are
spoken so fast, it’s easy to miss some of these gems. And if you think I have
said too much, I have barely put my paddle to the water.
Maximo "Frank" Sorrentino and Felissa Rose
An additional gem is the maaaaaany cameos
that show up frequently. To name drop just a few, there is the ever lovin’
Debbie Rochon (too many great films to credit just one), Andre Gower (lead kid
in The Monster Squad [1987]), Sean
Whalen (Twister [1996]), Vern Wells
(the main mohawked villain of Mad Max 2:
The Road Warrior [1981]), Brinke Stevens who is one of foremost scream
queens of the modern VHS-and-beyond era (as a twin wallet-stealing ghost;
again, too many credits to pick), and Paul Guay (creator and co-writer of 1987’s
Liar, Liar). In a really nice and
thoughtful placement as a media-minded married couple who deal with psychic interactions,
are Maximo “Frank” Sorrentino (of the TV show “The Sorrentinos,” and brother of
“Jersey Shore’s” “The Situation” Sorrentino) and Felissa Rose (actor / producer of indie films).
Why is this so exquisite? Because they were both together in the early slasher
classic Sleepaway Camp (1983); Rose
was the lead.
There is some well-done gore (e.g., head
smashed under a car wheel) as well as some cheesy stuff (a mannequin head, for
example, in a fantasy sequence). For nudity, as is consistent with a CandO film,
there is a single acknowledgedly gratuitous topless generic scene (in Deadly Xmas, it was in a shower, here it’s
at a strip club). Doesn’t matter, it’s the story that still keeps you in your
seat.
Now, let’s talk about some of the extras on
this loaded disk. First, there is an interesting commentary with Campfield, Iannece and Ackerman.
A second commentary has a number of cast and crew, including Chomicki and Aguilar;
it gets a bit hectic telling who’s who, and there is some talking over each
other, but there’s lots of good info, as well. The viewer also gets a short
Blooper Reel, a Facebook promo video with Campfield and Ackerman, a really nice
tribute to the late cult actor Robert Z’Dar (d. 2015), a 50+-minute on-set audio
podcast interview with Campfield and cast members (including Rochon), and the
complete “Son of Piggyzilla Trilogy (commentary available), which lasts 6
minutes. Of course, this being a part of Wild Eye Releasing, there are a number
of cool trailers, some of which I’ve had the pleasure to review.
For everything I whined like a little bitch
about the last film, that’s how much I liked this one. It is a really good
laugh, a well-researched film, and an attention keeper – especially for those
genre geeks – from the first second to the last. There have been plenty of horror
spoofs, such as the Scary Movie
franchise, A Haunted House (2013; the
sequel was in 2014) and Vampire’s Suck (2010),
with the exception of the first Scary
Movie (2000), they all fall to the wayside in comparison.
So make sure you stick around for the final
credits, as always with a CandO film, and I’m looking forward to the reported
next film in the franchise, Caesar and Otto’s Spring Break of the Living Dead.
