Review: From Dusk Till Bong

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2022
Images from the Internet

From Dusk Till Bong
Directed by James Balsamo
Acid Bath Productions
90 minutes, 2022
www.jamesbalsamo.com

Man, there are a surprisingly large amount of horror spoofs that rely on the word “bong” in the title, such as Bong of the Dead (2011), and the entire and incredibly numerous Evil Bong franchise from Full Moon. And speaking of prolific, there is Long Island to Los Angeles transplant director James Balsamo.

From the title of this release, there is no question that we are talking about a comedy. Well, it’s Balsamo, and that’s his genre: horror and action comedy. What I find interesting is that this is closer in feel to Shaun of the Dead (2004), though this deals with vampires, so I’m willing to bet that’s why the name was adapted from From Dusk Till Dawn (1998); besides, there is no arguing that the present title revision is witty, coming from James “Mr. Pun” Balsamo.

Balsamo’s character (yes, he likes to star in his own films, what of it?) is down-on-his-luck millionaire playboy Tony Canoni, a character who was introduced in Balsamo’s BiteSchool (2015; yes, this is a sequel, or at least an off-shoot) who starts by narrating his expository introduction to explain why he’s screaming while holding a chainsaw, riding a giant bat (puppet), bathed in a monochrome red filter. This is followed by a brief bit of madness and extreme over-emoting by once mainstream A-lister Eric Roberts in a blink-and-miss-it cameo

To begin the crux of the story, vampire slayer Screaming Jay Pigeons (professional wrestler The Supreme Fighting Machine, Charles Wright, who is in the WWE Hall of Fame) is dressed in New Orleans’ type white skull face paint, sort of doing a more profane version of Dr. van Helsing, killing off a couple of neck biters as a nekkid image of his wife Leonora (J.E. Scripps) pops in and out. He is aided by his partner, Father Gill O’Teen (G. Larry Butler). This is merely some introductory buffoonery (meant bemusedly, not insultingly) that one comes to expect in a typical Balsamo film: fun, a pun, and women’s buns.

This is a common theme in my reviews of Balsamo’s films, so please pardon the repetition, but it is important and a key function of the auteur structure of his filmmaking: Balsamo’s films, because he shoots them overlapping with so many other projects of his own design, tend to be episodic, or set pieces strung together. This is not a negative comment, just an observation. This can lead to some clever gags, and sometimes it means things jump around from one thing to another, and then back again without rhyme nor reason. Well, the reason is, I am assuming, opportunity to film or an getting down an idea while it comes up. So, the film jumps back to Canoni and his vampire bat stuffy-doll-sized pal named Spat (about as big as Chucky but cuddlier and fuzzier, it is also voiced by Balsamo in a falsetto voice) as they discuss what has happened since Bite School 2 (2020; while I have seen the first release, I have not yet seen the sequel, so this is helpful). Balsamo is a big proponent of conversational (or narrative) exposition.

Cameos are a bit less abundant here, but many of the actors do come from the worlds of either professional wrestling or music. For example, there was the momentary Eric Roberts exposure, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, and some decent (and over-) acting from Robert Felsted Jr. (of the band The Moonshoots, and was also good in a lead role in 2019’s slasher film, Hanukkah), as Canoni’s friend Bill Diamond. 

The film, which I am assuming is shot guerilla-style (filmed in Nevada, with other shots using green screen to imply that it is the desert), mostly uses natural light and sound. This means on occasion, the sound varies (such as Canoni’s voice fading in and out when talking to his bat friend outside the Pit Stop Restaurant), and occasionally the scene is dark or washed out as a lot of it is shot either in a cave or during bright sunlight (these vampires have no probs with solar light), but as I am a fan of shooting off the cuff (i.e., not paying for a license), I’m okay with it. Besides, it beats lugging heavy lights around when you’re always shooting on the move. I say, save that money for the special effects and catering.

There are a lot of vampire-fighting combinations going on between Screaming Jay, the Padre, Diamond and Canoni. The final act of the film is mostly in a cave and occasionally hard to make out, but thanks to a flame thrower, that lights up more than just the neck (and dick, apparently) biters. Many a vampire – er – bites the dust, including Raven Van Slen…I mean Bill Victor Arucan as a Chinese undead who hops like a rabbit. No idea why.

A lot of the make-up/masks look pretty good, especially one with a face on his cheek, and the puppets are silly looking, but again, it’s not trying to be a Rob Bottin creation (nor a John Carpenter budget). There is lots of cleavage and nudity (all female), so I guess that’s something? All the better for one of Balsamo’s SexyTime compilations. 

Except for the darker scenes, you get what you get with a Balsamo film, and I’m always happier after seeing one. There are a lot of cool throw-away lines and gags (such as fighting a flying bat with a baseball bat), so you may want to pay some attention between spliffs (again, I’m straight-edge…seriously). Speaking of which, as the title, implies, there is a bunch of jokes about the big bright green pleasure machine, and surprisingly limited images of an actual bong.

As Canoni mentions, he’s off to fight Robot Dracula, so I’m pretty sure we’re going to see more of him.

IMDB Listing HERE