Review: Slice!

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2022
Images from the Internet

Slice!
Directed by James Balsamo
Acid Bath Productions; Apokalupto Enterprises
73 minutes, 2022
www.jamesbalsamo.com

Generally speaking, other than Putt-Putt, I find golf and golf-related films exceptionally boring, be it The Legend of Bagger Vance (2000), Happy Gilmore (1996) or cult comedy Caddyshack (1980). However, this is a James Balsamo release, so my interest is piqued.

Sorry to give this away, but you gotta love a film that starts in the short, pre-credit-prologue with the killing of Robby Krieger of the Doors on the Tender Holes Golf Course (get it?)…with a door. His acting is horrendous, but who the hell cares!

James Balsamo, Robby Krieger, John Hitt

This helps introduce our main villain, Iver Rose, aka the Bogeyman (get it?) who has a human body, but whose cigar chompin’ skull head is huge and round, and has the golf ball dimples on the top of its head, which was designed by Tom Martino. Somehow, it reminds me of the killer in Killer Waves. He is silent and is happy to make divots of golfers whenever (just because I am not a fan of the sport, does not mean I do not know the lingo; I have multiple family that live or lived at golf resorts in Boca Raton, not at Mar-A-Crapo). He kills mostly with a golf club with an ax handle at the end (nice touch). While the Bogeyman is not played by Balsamo (different body shape), but he is certainly voiced by him.

Right off the ball – er – iron, we are introduced to the mayor of the town, Eric Roberts, who has been in a few of Balsamo’s later films, mostly sitting, as usual. The mayor is as slimy as they come as he refuses to acknowledge the deaths on the golf course to keep it open for a money-soaked Tournament (shades of the mayor in Jaws).

There are tons of cameos, as in all Balsamo’s efforts, such as (but hardly only) Rikki Rockett (drummer of Poison), PJ Soles (the Riff Randall), Mark Scheffler (Last House on the Left), and director Brian Yuzna (Bride of Re-Animator and Faust). A complaint I have had, but had not mention in earlier reviews, is that many of the cameos went over my head; even if I knew who they were, I may not have recognized them (such as CJ Graham, who was Jason in Friday the 13th Part 6: Jason Lives, or John Kassir, who was the voice of the Cryptkeeper on “Tales from the Crypt”). But here, in many cases the Bogeyman mentions both the names and affiliations of the guests, for which I am very grateful.

My one true issue with the film is that there is obviously no redubs of the voices, so there is a lot of echoes and mumbling, sometimes making it hard to understand what purposefully ridiculousness they are saying (which is why I watched this with the subtitles on).

The Bogeyman

Lots of blood splatter and gore, which has steadily been better looking as Balsamo’s film go on. That is not to say some of it is pure cheese, but in general, the splatter gives the film its center, and there is an enormous body count, some off camera (i.e., the celeb cameos, one obviously taken at a horror convention table). Who could ask for anything more?

This is completely pun-filled, as is the wont of Balsamo, including a short but hilarious bit concerning the sheriff (Casey Orr, aka Beefcake the Mighty), who has a southern drawl despite the film taking place in California, and his two violent deputies, the punny Officer Downs (Danielle Stampe) and Sy Borgg (Hunter Jackson) (get them?). One of the Sheriff’s targets is the main hero of the tale, Chase (co-writer John Hitt). He’s just one of the many characters who show up on occasion, such as Rodney Callaway (Balsamo, who also plays Alabaster Dick, a heavily made-up sports announcer).

Speaking of which, in many of his films, there is oral narration by Balsamo to give us some exposition and occasional puns. Well, while he voices the Bogeyman that sort of does the same thing, here there is a series of set pieces, introduced by title cards, such as “The Mayor’s Office,” or “Pro golfers daughters [sic] slumber party.”

Speaking of the daughters, there is a lot of gratuitous full-frontal nudity with pillow fights, showers, and dancing by (I am assuming) three strippers, combined with the amusingly gratuitous poster on the wall of Balsamo’s film, Alien Danger! With Ravenvan Slender. Heck, why not both?

My idea of a Brooklyn slice...

The ending is bat-shit crazy what-the-hell. While I will not give it away, there’s lots of stop-motion creatures, puppets, full-sized rubber suits, and even a cameo by the bat from Bite School. 

Films like this defy convention and are in a whole subgenre of their own, such as those by Balsamo or Bill Zebub. Their work cannot be categorized, have a lean towards sexism in the form of said gratuitous nudity, and are so off the wall in weird productions, gaffs, and just plain nonsense, that the end product is all the better for it. I generally admire that. They also almost always have the director in some role, often as the lead, which is just fine and dandy. Films like this are non-pretentious, and clearly are self-promotional in a way that is enjoyable. They tend to push the envelope, and while both these directors have a different motivation, they have a similar style that one could call amateurish, but I call just non-clean fun.

And, it looks like there may be a sequel. Yay.

IMDB Listing HERE