Mainstream Reviews: Ghostbusters; Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters; Monsters vs. Aliens

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2021
Images from the Internet

Mainstream Reviews: Ghostbusters (2016); Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters; Monsters vs. Aliens

Most of the films I watch were made for under $5,000. These were all made for multiple millions. It’s rare I find the time for mainstream theatrical releases, but like eating lettuce, sometimes it is good to clean the palate and try something sumptuous. Does that mean it will be that much more delicious? Well…

 

Ghostbusters (aka Ghostbusters 3; Ghostbusters: Answer the Call)
Directed by Peter Feig
Sony; Columbia Pictures; LStar Capital; Village Roadshow Pictures; GhostCorps; et. al
105 minutes, 2016
Who you gonna redial?

First of all, I am watching this on Netflix. It is 105 minutes long. On IMDB, it’s either 117 minutes, or the extended version is 137 minutes. Not sure what all that means but there ya go.

When this film first came out, it was both reviled and praised, which is addressed in a meta email in the film that the titular group receives that reads “Ain’t no bitches gonna hunt no ghosts.” Love that they made the person sound like an ignoramus. As I didn’t see the theatrical run, I figured it was time to catch up. My partner really liked it.

In the first 10 minutes or so, I can see that this is not as much a remake as a reimagining, and not just because it is estrogen-based rather than testosterone. The opening sequence, which is iconic in the first one, is more violent, and trying too hard to be funny (e.g., “…one of the most elegant homes in existence featuring every luxury including a face bidet and an anti-Irish security fence”).

Like a Zenn Diagram, there definitely are some overlaps with the original, with Erin (Kristen Wiig) in the Bill Murray role, Abby (Melissa McCarthy) as Dan Ackroyd, Holtzman (Kate McKinnon) playing the late, great Harold Ramis (d. 2014), and Patty (Leslie Jones) as Ernie Hudson. While the first was mostly a mix of members of “Saturday Night Live” and “SCTV,” this one is nearly all “SNL”-flavored.

One can look at this as a continuation of Bridesmaids (2011), much as Abbott and Costello were essentially playing the same people as different characters. Problem is, I really did not like Bridesmaids – as popular as it was – because it felt like it was trying way too hard, though I respected the cast. For me, the only one of the cast that came out well was McCarthy. Here, though, everyone is pretty used to working together, so they are better equipped to bounce off each other’s energy rather than trying to top it. In this release, McKinnon’s talent is pretty wasted to essentially being second banana to Wiig, with the latter playing her usual type of characterization, McCarthy is as sharp as a tack, and Jones does an amazing job. Rather than her known brash side (which was great in her stand-up special, “Time Machine”), Jones comes across as charming and her line delivery is spot on.

Rounding out the cast is some decent smaller roles, like Chris “Thor” Helmsworth (which is what he will be forever known as, like it or not) in the receptionist role that mixes Annie Potts’ character with Rick Moranis’ role (pretty-but-dumb-as-a-doornail), Andy Garcia as the Mayor and “SNL’s” Cecily Strong as his assistant.

There’s lots of good cameos, such as Ozzy (do I need to say the last name?), Bill Murray (playing a ghost denier, of course, in arguably the “Walter Peck” role), Dan Ackroyd, Ernie Hudson, Sigourney Weaver, Annie Potts and the green hot dog eating blob from the original, Ed Begley Jr., Joel Murray who I haven’t seen in a dogs age, Elizabeth Perkins, and an indie actor who has been in a few films reviewed on this blog, Hannah Heckman-McKenna.

The ending of the original of the gigantic Stay Puft Marshmallow Man (also referenced in this film) is, again, iconic, so the question is how can they if not top it, then rival it? Well, they do pretty well as they deal with the villain of the piece, incel Rowan (ex-“SNL” writer Neil Casey).

While overall I enjoyed the film a lot, despite the naysayers, I did have one question that appears to be a big hole in the story: what made the last spirit (I’m not going to say who to spoil it for others) so powerful near the end? Why is this ghost different from all other ghosts?

 

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters
Directed by Tommy Wirkola
Paramount Pictures; MGM; MTV Films; et. al
88 minutes, 2013
This film made over $200 million worldwide, and has some major stars in it, like Marvel Universe’s Jeremy Renna as Hansel, Bond “girl” Gemma Arterton as Gretel, and Framke Janssen, who was in both Marvel and Bond worlds, as the head witch.

Expanding on the Van Helsing (2004, starring another member of the Marvel clan) philosophy, there are many anachronistic elements as the story strides to bring in modern technology, such as a gatling gun, insulin, newspapers, fanboys, and even a portable taser in a time before electricity was discovered. And don’t get me started on the photograph. This is supposed to be small town Germany in the late Middle Ages. It does have some humor that works though, such as putting the drawn pictures on milk bottles (wonder what they used for adhesive…).

The film comes across as sillier than anything else, though I will admit the level of violence and gore is enjoyable, especially a guy being torn apart by his limbs (this was actually a legitimate punishment in those backwards times).

One of the more subtle elements, that is more noticeable now than when the film was released in pre-Trump days, is the “Republican” mindset of punish anyone without any proof, unquestioningly just on the word of those in authority. This was also common back in the Middle Ages, with tens of thousands of women being burned as witches across Europe for no concrete reason other than being accused of it by men (for refusal of the male’s advances, knowledge of medicinal plants, someone wanting their property, etc.), as almost happens in the film. While the story plays like it is 19 Century Germany, which would explain at least some of the technologies presented, witch burning was not common by that time, even in rural areas of Europe. Perhaps they are trying to emulate something like Streets of Fire (1984), which is a 1950s/’80s hybrid.

What drives me crazy is the toxic masculinity at play, which often presents itself in genre films. For example, the fanboy, Ben (Thomas Mann, essentially playing the Brandon role from 1999’s Galaxy Quest) sexually takes advantage of Gretel, and Hansel is too macho to ask for help from his love interest, Mina (Pihla Viitala). As much as indie films get the razz for being sexist, it is very present in mainstream as well. Just look how much cleavage is thrust into our faces, including a few downblouse shots of Gemma (mind you I am a fan, but still…). I should add though, for those interested, we also do get to see Renna shirtless.

Viewing a world of positive “white” and evil “dark” witches, I kept hearing Glinda’s shrill voice in my head, “Are you a good witch or a bad witch?” The best witch, to me, was the aforementioned gore one, as there is a lot of it in here (hence the R rating, more than Mina’s tush), especially in the third a when the sibs come to the witches gathering. Most of the CGI looks rather good, and Renna certainly knows a thing or two about green screens. However, what I found annoying was an unnecessary death modeled on the Van Helsing film, which kind of ruined the vibe for me.

 

Monsters Vs. Aliens
Directed by Rob Letterman and Conrad Vernon
DreamWorks Animation SKG
92 minutes, 2009

First of all, a nod to using The Exciter’s “Tell Him” early on is a good start. So, we’re in animationville, so there will be no question of whether it is going to be CGI or application SFX.

I have to say I’m a fan of the type of animation they use here, looking similar to The Incredibles (2004; Jeez, has it really been that long?!).

Much like Ellen Muth’s character getting hit with a toilet from the sky in “Dead Like Me,” our heroine here, Susan, is hit by a glowing meteorite on her wedding day, without Muth’s sarcastic comment. This causes her to glow and grow to a size rivaling the titular Attack of the 50-Foot Woman (1958), especially in the scene where she reaches into a building and grabs someone. Before you can say “I do,” the government pulls a Gulliver’s Travels (1939, 1960, etc.) and has her bound.

Given the name Ginormica, she’s locked into a “monster prison” with others (i.e., the comic relief), such as a not very smart blue blob with one eye called B.O.B., who’s history film is right out of the movie theater scene in The Blob (1955) – and a nod to Ghostbusters (1984) referencing a hotdog cart – a mad scientist genius with the head of a cockroach acknowledging The Fly (1958, 1986), and a “Missing Link” gill man similar to The Creature From the Black Lagoon (1954). She feels like a stranger in a strange land of monsters.

But the name of the film includes “Aliens,” so you know some evil ones are on their way. Despite the four eyes, they look very similar to the creatures in Mars Attacks (1996). Sending down a robot to check things out like The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951), their plan is to retrieve the meteorite that “grew” Ginormica, “with extreme prejudice.”

Of course, there’s lots of reference bytes all over the place, such as Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977), E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982), and even Beverly Hills Cop (1984), in one scene alone, though that part is quite amusing. In another, there is a similarity to the bridge scene from Final Destination 5 (2011). There is even a Slim Pickens bit from Dr. Strangelove (etc.) (1964). And of course, there is a direct mention of the ultimate sci-fi spoof, Spaceballs (1987).

Needless to say, our “monsters” are going to go up against the aliens. Who is going to win? Well, technically, it’s an adult-spiced family film, so do the math.

While there is a multitude of borrowed bits strung together, there is two positives, beyond the decent animation; first, the writing of the dialogue is pretty funny, and also it is obvious whomever did this was a movie fan and was able to cobble all these little pieces into a coherent storyline (relatively) that anyone with a love of cinema is bound to enjoy with dozens of a-ha moments.

One way you can tell if a film is indie or mainstream is by the soundtrack. In this case, they could afford to pay the rights, and there is some great sounds here, such as Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs’ “Wooley Bully” (one of my ultimate faves), Sheb Wooley’s “Flying Purple People Eater,” and the B-52’s “Planet Claire.”

Three Short Reviews: Oculus; It Follows; He Never Died

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2016

Images from the Internet

I’m home with a bad cold, so I thought I would do some catching up. Normally, I rarely watch mainstream films, meaning those that have theatrical runs, ‘cause I’m an indie guy. Given my choice, I tend to watch films that costs less than five grand over one in the millions range. But my brain is too sullied by snot to give close attention to the minors, so I figured it could be a good time to catch up to some theatrical releases I’ve missed. Now, although I don’t intend to give away salient plot point, I may talk about tones, but since these are mainstream films and this is a blog for horror films, the assumption is you’ve seen them. Trailers for the releases are at the end.

Oculus

Directed by Mike Flanagan

104 minutes, 2013

I used to write for a now-gone punk fanzine called Oculus (using my birth name) at the turn of the millennium, so I knew I needed to see this at some point. While the film has some issues, it was better than I expected it to be, for many reasons. It’s rare to find a slow building story these days of body counts and gruesomeness. The way the plot is presented in a dual time frame that flips back and forth and yet also manages to overlap them without it being a complete mish-mosh is worth noting. Sure there is the occasional confusion, but that’s built into a tale where things are not always what they seem, which is presented in an easy explanation thanks to a playback of a video late in the first act.

A mirrors as a doorway is certainly not new, such as (and this is a minor taste) Mirrors (2008), John Carpenter’s Prince of Darkness (1987) and Candyman (1992). They even did a porno version called Pandora’s Mirror (1981). If you wanted, you could go all the way back to the Brothers’ Grimm’s story about Snow White, which was actually a horror tale if you think about it. For this one, it has a bit of that trapped feeling presented in the first season of American Horror Story (2011), though in that case it was a house rather than a mirror.

Katee Sackhoff

The cast is relatively small so the film’s body count is not ridiculous, but the intimacy of the gore is extremely effective. While the stars are the brother and sister leads, played by Karen Gillan and Brenton Thwaites, both of whom do the roles justice, the takeaway for me was Katee Sackhoff: she plays the mom at various stages of duress, and gives it full tilt. I was duly impressed.

There are more than enough jump scares, which become almost expected hence losing their appeal, and certainly the ending is highly predictable, but what bugs me is the assumption that the evil must survive for the inevitable sequel (none has appeared as of yet, but…). Used to be that the hero(ine) would prevail and defeat the powers of darkness, but since the introduction of the franchise in the modern horror cinema cycle (amped up by the trinity of Jason, Michael and Freddy), evil doesn’t die, it gets to reoccur, sometimes even in prequels (e.g., Insidious). Even though I enjoyed the film, it’s bowing to sequelitis, whether there is another one or not, makes it end on an oh, c’mon rather than a yeah!

My biggest gripe, though, is the length. Horror films, more than any other kind, work best in the 90 minute or less format (in my opinion). After that it begins to be wearing and the adrenaline flow tends to works against the story rather than in its favor, kind of like when – and this does not happen in this film – the shots of people fearfully walking around a house with the audience expecting that jump scare, until it becomes tedious rather than nerve-whacking. Filmmakers, keep one eye on the story and one eye on the clock, please.

It Follows

Directed by David Robert Mitchell

100 minutes, 2014

This film made it to many of the Year’s Best lists, so seems like a good choice to view.

Sometimes a film wears it’s forbearers on its proverbial sleeve, and this sure is one of those. Just to name a few, there’s the suburbia of Halloween (1978), in one segment the naked huntress of Lifeforce (1985), the deadly spirit desiring death of any participant of The Ring/Ringu, the promiscuity of teens and deadly disease of Kids (1995), and the shift-shaping of The Thing (1982). While I’m at it, there are also clips of a number of other films on TVs, such as The Giant Claw (1957) and Killers from Space (1954). It’s nice that the director could give a nod to some previous sci-fi from his childhood, but in an overly long film, it feels a bit excessive (while making me smile as I knew most of them).

The film does well with suspense, as our heroine (Maika Monroe) ducks and covers for much of the story. However, the pace is as slow as the demon (or whatever it is), and sometimes for me the tension was more in the area of wanting to fast forward (I didn’t). Yes, there is some quality filmmaking going on here, like the metaphors of teen problems (leaves across a leg symbolizing cutting, for example), and at least one of the circular shots at the high school is well done. However, this really needed to be trimmed by at least 20 minutes to keep the suspense going. There are too many pointless dialog shots that don’t go anywhere, such as one between our heroine and a guy who obviously has a crush on her, talking about their childhood and finding porn; that could have easily been relegated to the Deleted Scenes section of the DVD, and not be missed in the feature.

Also, there are some occurrences I just don’t buy, including the obvious other passing on of the curse scenes to add a larger body count. I mean, there is something (as opposed to someone) following her to kill her, and one of her crew is going to take a chance? In one case, it happends in a hospital bed in a room full of internal windows to the hallway (that we see in another roundabout circular shot)?

Overall, I was disappointed in the heavy-handed direction where Mitchell tried to add in too many metaphors and symbolisms. Just look at the IMDB page under the Trivia section. I appreciate the ambitiousness of the project, but trying to do too much (“look what I can do!”) and not having a concept of what should probably stay and what should go (it makes me wonder how long the first cut was if this much stayed), made this drag in too many places. The body count was very low, and the first kill to Alice was definitely the best. There was some decent suspense, but really, it should have been tighter.

As for the ending, see my comment in the previous review.

He Never Died

Written and directed by Jason Krawczyk

97 minutes; 2015

Henry Rollins is having quite the post-Black Flag career, careening from singer, to print poet, to spoken word artist, vlogger, and screen actor. For the latter, his roles tend to lean towards bitter and especially angry people (come to think of it, so does his singing, poetry, etc.). Most of the roles I’ve seen him in have been either secondary or even tertiary/cameo ones, not counting his omnipresence in documentaries about punk music from the ‘80s). Here was a chance to see him as the focal antagonistic protagonist.

I realize this may technically be a relatively low budget film compared to the others, but hey…Netflix, if you know what I mean. As far as the film goes, it was quite the pleasant surprise. First of all, Henry is known for being somewhat stoic/sarcastic and very angry/clenched. Both of these work for him better than I have ever seen him before. His character is a non-classic vampire (“I’m the only one”) that has more of the qualities of a ghoul/cannibal, and who is old enough to be “mentioned in the Bible.”

There is a nice sized cast, and yet it feel intimate, with dark streets (though he’s not adverse to daylight in classic vampire tropes) in dingy areas, as Toronto takes the place of the Hell’s Kitchen neighborhood of New York. After such a long life, Jack (Rollins) keeps his wits together, barely, by playing bingo, keeping to himself mostly, and eating at the same diner for every meal: always vegetarian as blood is like a drug to him, and he’s gone straight-edge. The question is, will those around him let him stay that way for long.

Into this mix comes a long-lost 19-year-old party-girl daughter, Andrea (Jordan Todosey, of Degrassi: The Next Generation) and a waitress who has a thing for him, Cara (Kate Greenhouse, of The Murdock Mysteries). There is also an extended “name” cameo of Jack’s “intern” (Booboo Stewart, of The Twilight Saga series and X-Men: Days of Future Past). And who is the mysterious man in the hat (not hard to figure out, really). Then there’s a long stream of Mafioso fodder that ends up being an extensive and gruesome body count. Yeah, there is a lot of blood, death and destruction.

There is also an incredibly strong sense of humor about the film, some of it played well by Greenhouse who easily steals some scenes from Rollins (check out the “Oh, c’mon” moment from the trailer). However, that is not to say that Rollins isn’t a force to be reckoned with here, as this is by far the strongest and best role, as if it were written for him.

While nearly as long as the reviews mentioned above, the time just went by incredibly fast. They left it so there could be a sequel, and in this case I’m hoping there is, as it’s also a film I will watch again, at some point.