Review: The Evil Rises

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2020

Images from the Internet

The Evil Rises

Directed by Daniel Florenzano

Florenzano Films; Terror Films

85 minutes, 2018

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It amazes me how many genre films are based on some really stupid people who make really, really stupid decisions. For example, at a beach party (yes, bikinis abound, natch), a couple discover a statue peaking out of the sand that has some strange powder inside it.

Of course, one of them, Willie (Julian De La Mora), knows the entire history of this statue from a lecture he attended months ago. Say what? Anyway, most of them take the powder from the statue, put it in their beer, and swig away. I can just hear in my head, “Amber says whaaaaat?” None of that makes any sense, but if it sets up the rest of the story (as this is only the first few minutes), so be it.

Michael Glauser and Bailey La Flam

The powder turns the beach blanket bingo into a splatterfest as our California campers turn into mindless zombies controlled by… well, gimme a minute to get there. They kill each other off until there are only three: Claudia (Bailey La Flam), her boyfriend Sebastian (Michael Glauser), and Willie (the “intellectual” third-wheel). The killing raises, out of the sand, the… American Indian? Aztec?... spirit, Callas (Erik Cram), who controls them. Of course, Callas speaks perfect English, as most aboriginals did 666 years ago (yeah, that’s the timeline given, even though it’s more than 100 years before Columbus set foot anywhere near the Americas, and nearly 200 years before the Spaniards landed in California), and is killed by colonists who are dressed like the Puritans, who never left the East Coast. Since Callas is played by a colonialist actor; would this be considered cultural appropriation? I’m not sure. What is surprising to me is that the film is loaded with Latino/Latina actors, and they didn’t find one for Callas? Anyway, this is still in the first ten minutes; the credits haven’t even finished yet.

Now the sole purpose of this trio is to find the blood of 50+ people to raise Callas (no, not Charlie, RIP) to this dimension to begin his malevolent reign (hence the evil rising). Junkies, party animals, and all others are welcome to be obliterated as either flesh eating zombies or victims thereof.

La Flam and Alec Lobato

Of course, if you have evil, you must have good. On the side of humanity is a police detective, David Jones (not of the Monkees nor David Bowie; played by Joe Paulson, who actually holds up best in the acting department), Chazz the pizza delivery guy (Alec Lobato), and the local scammer priest (e.g., uses the tithe money to go on vacations), Father O’Malley (Ed Hollingsworth), who’s brogue comes and goes at will. Yeah, he’s on the side of “good.” Social commentary, anyone?

There are lots of moments that could have been excised to keep the pace going, such as the conversation between Chazz and a 911 operator. Do they or we need to hear that he thinks “the girl is smokin’ hot”?; good way to get a hang-up from the EMTs.

There is a huge cast in this film, which for its budget, in and of itself is impressive. Even some porn performers make their faces known. My favorite character is a super scary looking macho guy whose girlfriend is on a leash, who ends up being a scared little boy. This character, though completely underdeveloped, still made me smile the most. Truth of the matter is, all the roles are pretty undefined as far as personalities go, never mind back history of any kind. But the meat and potaters [sic] of the film is not so much the details, but the extraneous stuff: substance abuse, violence and gore, and of course, the flashing of boobs, which pop up on occasion (nothing of the male action).

As for the violence and gore, well, that looks rather good and enjoyable, without overdoing it (though a literal pool of blood looks a bit like water with coloring). Stabbings, biting, machetes are all instruments, among others, used to dispatch victims. For me, a weak spot was the final party scene, where there was room to focus more on the action than the story, but they let the story get in the way. This is probably due to budget constraints.

Is it a great movie? No. Is it a good movie? Well, it’s decent and entertaining, but there are places it could have been cut, and others where it could have been plumped up, as I noted. Of the two villain leads, Claudia comes off the best and the nastiest, while Sebastian is kind of… there, and kind of superfluous. This is the writing though, not the fault of Glauser.

I didn’t feel like it was a waste of time to watch it, but I don’t really feel a need to see it again, though I’d like to see La Flam and Paulson in more films.

To finish off in the digression department, the pizza place in the film, City Pizza, is a real San Diego shop that “specializes in New York style thin crust pizza.” That also made me smile. And miss New York style thin crust pizza.  The film crew did well to advertise the company within the film, and I hope they got some decent free pizza out of it.

Review: CarousHELL

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2016

Images from the Internet

CarousHELL

Written and directed by Steve Rudzinski

Silver Spotlight

70 minutes / 2016

www.facebook.com/silverspotlightfilms

www.carousHELL.com

The film can be pre-ordered HERE. 

Steve Rudzinski is certainly not the most prolific of directors, but when he puts out a film, be it more serious (though still having some humor; e.g., Everyone Must Die!, from 2012, reviewed HERE) or even more hysterically absurd (e.g., Captain Z and the Terror of Leviathan, 2014, reviewed HERE), the viewer is in for a quality show. Here is the thing about absurdist humor: it can be really, incredibly stupid (e.g., anything by Seth Rogan), or it can be way smarter than it appears to be (e.g., anything my Monty Python), sometimes by mocking the genre’s own familiar tropes. Fortunately, Rudzinski’s work falls on the side to the latter.

Se Marie

Here is the basic premise: a carousel’s wooden unicorn, Duke, becomes sentient (or “wakes up” as they call it here) after an obnoxious kid, Larry (Teague Shaw) wipes some snot on its snout and kicks it a few times. Of course, that means the kid must die. His insufferable “#hotbitch” (her words) sister, Laurie (Sé Marie) drags him to a party at her friend’s house, where all comers, likeable or not, are fodder for the unicorn from (possibly literally) hell.

The film is so goofy, and yet remains consistently hysterical. I’m not talking about a couple of scenes here and there, I mean straight through. But pay attention for all the references. While you really wanna punch out this little bratty kid and his big even brattier (is that even a word?!) sister, but the people at the party are as much fun to watch as the arcing story. One of the running gags is a variation of the whole “Bronie” movement (male fans of My Little Pony, as in Bro/pony), focused around…well, you should have figured that out by now.

Duke

We, the audience, hear Duke’s both inner (thought) and outer (oral) “voice,” and his comments are as snide and pun filled as a certain red and green sweater-wearing dream killer. Other people can hear it, too, as the trailer below shows. Yeah, there’s a lot of profanity, and there is more than a few “bitch” references, but Steve Rimpici does a fun job of it, as he’s done in other voice roles. While there is little subtlety, and certainly no pity towards Duke, there is absolutely many reasons to laugh at both the wooden horse’s (I mean unicorn’s) words, and even – believe it or not – actions: his “hiding” scenes towards the end had me rolling.

Steve Rudzinski

As with many of Rudzinski’s films, there are self-referential moments to his previous films, such as a bottle of Captain Z’s Totally Accurate Pirate Wine, or the off-hand mention of his Web series, SuperTask Force One. Also, Rudzinski uses the film not just to get his ideas across, but also as an acting vehicle for himself, not as the main character but a supportive-yet-pivotal role. His style tends to learn towards the Edgar Kennedy school of slow-burn-to-righteous-explosion. Rudzinski’s skill is pretty varied, as he’s shown in previous films, but this method is among my favorites.

There is not much nudity in the film, most of which is a response to one sleazy character’s (Chris Proud) cry of “show me your [pick a word for female breasts] for a beaded necklace” at the party. That being said, there is definitely one scene with the elfin cute pierced and tatted Haley Madison that goes beyond what you may expect even from an indie…or perhaps not, all things considered.

Haley Madison

The gore, however, is another story. Some of it is kinda (purposefully) cheesy, but man, there is a lot of it, and most of it look incredible for its budget. Duke seems to have access to any one of a number of deadly weapons, from throwing stars to machetes, which draws a very funny throwaway panicked line from the Pizza Boy (Rudzinski). I actually had to pause the film to laugh, as not to miss anything. Come to think of it, there was more than once I stop to rewind just a bit to either see or hear a bit again because it was (a) WTF, (b) so beautifully done, (c) to laugh, or (d) any combination. It should also be noted that there is a very large body count, so those into this kind of film should find that fun, as I did.

CarousHELL doesn’t answer a lot of question, which I think is fine (such as how this magic horse… I mean unicorn, came to be). This is the kind of film that you just say “fuck it” and watch it for what it is, without any guilt. If you actually sat down to mull over it, there could be a lot of questions that need to be answered, but the genre overrides the need for queries.

Cowboy Cool, aka PJ Gaynard

One of the more bizarre characters is Cowboy Cool (PJ Gaynard), who not only swaggers in a John Wayne style, but never removes his huge, mascot mask covered head. He seems to have the only gun that can kill Duke (who is, I suppose, ironically and purposely branded after Wayne’ nickname?). I think my fave characters are, however, the icky siblings Pierre (Josh Miller) and Margot (Sarah Brunner), who have the worst French accents possible (it sounds more German, actually). They are just so obnoxious, playing on the Francophone stereotype.

Rudzinski is a bit of a meat and taters kinda director. You’re not going to see many weird artistic flairs, which personally I find can be really tiring, especially for this genre. He has a message, and he gets to it. That’s a large part of the appeal. He takes the micro-budget that he has and makes the most out of it. But at the same time, it doesn’t feel claustrophobic in that it’s not all shot in one place, but rather in some nice locations, including, yes, an amusement park (the same one from 2015’s Scream Park [Conneaut Lake Park, PA], in which Rudzinski acts but not directs)? Oops, there goes those questions again… [The director responds: "It's not the same park. Conneaut was too far away and now multiple movies have shot there. So we went to an even smaller park in Southwest PA called Wildwood Highlands, which is more of a go-kart/putt-putt/arcade with a few rides. But it was Western themed so it worked beautifully.]

Rudzinski tends to make a film or two every year for the past few years, but his quality has never dipped below extreme fun. His characters tend to be not necessarily the same high school stereotypes you usually find, and he goes through a lot of them. He also manages to find actors who are well suited for their roles (for example, Marie just aces hers), so I’ve seen most of the last batch, and have never been disappointed. That says a lot, considering he works in the Pittsburgh area (I kid…). Seriously, this comedy is worth a view on many levels for genre fans. Just don’t expect anything super deep (or super shallow), and enjoy the references as they fly by. Grab a bag of popcorn and have a blast.

Review: Pizza Girl Massacre

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2015
Images from the Internet

The Pizza Girl Massacre

Produced, written and directed by Jason Witter
78 minutes, 2014
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When I first read the title, my question was: “Okay, is it a massacre of pizza girls, or a pizza girl who does the massacring? Well…

But first… Here is the thing about clichés: they tend to get annoying, but when you employ enough of them together, sometimes it creates something else, or other. Take the case here, for example. There are lots of tropes here that would be familiar to any horror fan, be in indie or mainstream. To name just a few: lost footage; theater troupe; cabin; in the woods; masked moron; meta-film documentary… Then, throw in a little bit of Mother’s Day (1980) and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) for some good measure.

Additionally, if one is going to make a horror comedy, using Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream (1596; sorry, my General Semantics timebinding training is ingrained) as the direction for the acting troupe, it sets a good tone. This is especially true since director Jason Witter seems determined to use much of the Bard’s work in his screenwriting, in one way or another. Actually, using Willie S. as a mode for a slasher works as well, since many of his plays are bloody and have exceedingly large body counts.

Of course, the biggest problem with the found footage subgenre is that basically you know, at the onset, as the Doors famously phrased it clumsily, “No one here gets out alive.” But is the journey worth the ride?

Set and filmed in Albuquerque, we meet the central characters who include the cast and crew of the hopeful Shakespearean stage production, plus the camera guys, led by an obnoxious and lascivious dolt (played with aplomb by director Witter, wearing James Howlett (1974; aka Wolverine) style mutton-chops. They take their chance and rent a desolate cabin (always a mistake when there is a camera pointing at you) to rehearse. The owner, Mama Debi, explains they have to use basement. As Scooby-Doo (1969) may have said, “Wuh-oh.”

Needless to say, things don’t turn out well, but they do end up kinda funny, which is good as this is a dark comedy. If you are a fan of this genre, the jokes are definitely humorous in both a ha-ha way, and in a knowing one. Most of the wit is quite subtle as it is often in a knowing glance, a quick reference, a throwaway line, or on the outer frame of the camera. While there are few guffaws, it is worth it to pay attention to the action, but watch peripherally as well.

The look of the film is a mixture of ‘80s-style slasher, with some bright colors and deep red blood, and the jumble of hand- and head-held cameras with and the occasional flash insertion editing (where some of the humor is inserted). It has a good look to it, with some nice gore effects that are wet, enjoyably gruesome, and a tad (and appropriately) cheesy; there is, however, almost no nudity.

For the most part with rare exceptions, the acting is quite good for a low-budgeter, including the leads, Rhiannon Fraser and Rachel Shapiro, and especially the interesting (and cute) titular pizza slicer, Amy Bourque. Speaking of which, an interesting choice of Witter’s is to have every character in the film named after the actor playing them (other than the Pizza Girl, who is only known as, well, the Pizza Girl).

There were only three things I noted about the film on the negative side, and again, in this genre this is miniscule and nit-picky: first, it obviously takes place in the present considering the cameras used, but no one has a cell phone? I could understand if they were far enough outside a tower area where they wouldn’t work, but not one of this young cast tries (did I miss something where they were told not to bring it? However, that doesn’t mean everyone would listen to that directive, even from the play director; I wouldn’t and I’m older). Second, why did it take so long for anyone to leave the basement, never mind the house? And lastly, even though the Pizza Girl is nutsoid, surely a room full of people could have taken her down. I mean, they were able to tie up the bigger and angry Witter, so why not Pizza Girl?

Witter takes a lot of chances on this film, especially with using so many tropes, as I mentioned earlier. Luckily, it works for him. And even more fortunately, it works for the viewer, especially if one is versed in the genre, though even if one is not.

I agree with the film’s slogan: Pizza Girl Massacre delivers. The rest is silence…