Saturday, January 15, 2022

Reviews: 5 Various Supernatural Shark Films

Reviews: 5 Various Supernatural Shark Films

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2022
Images from the Internet

Every once in a while, I get an itchin’ for some really, really tacky films, especially during a pandemic when many of us have been at home way longer than one would necessarily want. So, what better place to look than ones that combine both “real” life horror machines, like sharks, and the supernatural? While the whole shark fascination dates back at least to Jaws (1975) and the popularity of the Discovery Channel’s “Shark Week” (starting in 1988), it was arguably the Sharknado franchise (starting in 2013 and counting) that kicked off the absurdity (meant as a compliment) level of mix-and-match sharks, and… everything else.

These films below are not ranked, but are listed in the order in which I watched them, all from TubiTV. Note that my shark snark is truly meant to be fun and rib-poking with a touch of stream of consciousness. I had just the right low-budget expectation for these films, so I was not blindsided by anticipating a theatrical extravaganza experience. After all, when it comes to the cheese level, there are times when ya want melted brie on toast, and others, Cheez-Whiz on animal crackers. I enjoyed these films for precisely what they are. The coming attractions for all of them are at the bottom of the article.

 

Shark Exorcist
Directed by Donald Farmer
Stratosphere Entertainment; MVD Entertainment
71 minutes, 2015
www.facebook.com/Shark-Exorcist-1432091707036857/
www.MVDb2b.com

Right off the bat, you can tell this is a grade-D funfest in the so-bad-it’s-still-bad-yet-manages-to-be-fun-because-of-it way. The acting in the intro is a sheer indication of it, not to mention the level of CGI shark with glowing yellow eyes. And may I say, the shark is in a Tennessee-filmed lake. Yep, not the salt-water ocean it depends on, but a fresh-water lake. Not well researched or just don’t give a damn in a “Gilligan’s Island” sort of way? Either one, I’m down for it. In the story, an evil nun imbues a shark with the malevolence of Satan (one of the tag phrases for the film is “Satan has Jaws”). Meanwhile, three young women who are totally unlikeable albeit attractive drive to the lake, and one, Ali (Angela Kerecz) is attacked. Though bloody, there are no punctures, and she is now also possessed by the shark devil, with big, sharp teeth to attack at the right times. As one of the three, Channing Dodson does pretty well in the acting department, but Madison Carney’s performance (I’m specifically looking at the “whatever” scene on a park bench as an example) is almost joyously painful. The film is a collection of set pieces more than anything else, such as a psychic investigator who has a television show (Roni Jonah, who as luck would have it has the ideal name for a story about a big fish that swallows people) and becomes possessed by the demon, or the shark, I’m not sure, but she gets to do an abbreviated version of the green pea soup bit (Ali does the full one). Then there’s some sorority sister wannabes, a mentally challenged woman obsessed with sharks, and a nice cameo by filmmaker James Balsamo as a jogger. There is also a non-sequitur piece involving a seance in a cemetery that doesn’t go anywhere. Many of them involve women in bikinis, or at least swimsuits, if that is your thing. Funny, no nudity, though, and no gore either, just syrup-looking blood. It takes a while before the priest (Bobby Kerecz, hubby of Angela) comes into the picture other than in bits and pieces. When he shows up, he gets to do the exorcist part of the title on Ali, tied to a tree rather than a bed, in very inexperienced fashion and bad sound quality. The coda of the film during the credits is two extended b-rolls that I believe were intended to indicate a possible sequel, but as far as I know, that hasn’t happened yet. Shame.

 

Ouija Shark
Directed by Scott Patrick (aka Brett Kelly)
Say What Productions; Wild Eye Releasing; MVD Entertainment
70 minutes, 2020
www.wildeyereleasing.com
www.mvdb2b.com

As I have said before in other reviews, while I do not believe in the supernatural as a reality, Ouija boards unnerve me. I was given one once as a teen, tried it a couple of times with no results, but still not only threw it away, but chopped it up with a hatchet first. For this Canadian film (because of sharks in the Great Lakes?), tatted, multiply face-pierced and bound in a cleavage-bearing bikini under her GOAT tee (a bit of self-referencing, as the band’s music is used over the final credits), Jill (Steph Goodwin) finds an odd spirit board at a beach that looks like it was made from a piece of a wrecked ship. Joining with a group of women after at a house, And what else is this bunch gonna do but use said board…though I’m not sure where Jill managed to get an oversized heart-shaped planchette (sans window), which was not found at the beach. This raises a see-through albeit deadly ghostish shark that is not locked to water, and even has a cougar-like growl. It flies through the air with the greatest of ease, chasing down people (when female, they are in bikinis) in forests, or floating above a pool. Last film I made comments about a shark in a lake, but here, there isn’t even that. Yet, for a film that claims to cost less than US$300, it still looks decent if implausible. But the body count is high with some cheesy gore. The acting is mostly okay and the cast is definitely nice in the eye-candy way (especially our original group, including Zoe Town, Robin Hodge, Christina Roman, and Amy Osborne; wait, if this is a Canadian film, can I still use the Oxford comma?), though Jill’s dad (John Migliore, who co-wrote the film) is as wooden as a stake; but again, all part of the joy of the low-budget sea (or floating above sea) creature experience. While daddy dearest consults a psychic (Kylie Gough), Jill teams with a mysterious man with an echoey, otherworldly voice (the director, Brett Kelly), in order to stop this ghost gnasher. Will they succeed? Does it matter? Films like this tend to be for the fun journey, not necessarily the destination. While technically not a comedy, per se, there is a nice use of (intentional) humor in the dialogue here and there, mostly as throwaway lines, but it livens it up a bit. I definitely smiled at those parts, especially the coda piece tagged on the end, and the use of a French word that was a wise and clever choice.

 

Virus Shark
Directed by Mark Polonia
Polonia Brothers Entertainment; SRS Cinema; MVD Entertainment
74 minutes, 2021
http://srscinema.com/home
www.mvdb2b.com

This will be one of two shark films covered that was directed by Shark… I mean Mark Polonia, who seems to have made a chunk of his career on odd shark films, like Amityville Island (2020) and Noah’s Shark (2021). According to IMDB, the budget for this one was $182, which doesn’t seem realistic to me considering the amount of CGI, unless they didn’t even budget for catering. It also makes total sense that someone would combine the pandemic and sharks (or anything else). The disease here is called SHVID-1. While there is no supernatural element present and it takes itself somewhat seriously, I consider it odd enough to be on this list (again, a compliment). For this story, sharks have been infected and their bites on humans has escalated to a worldwide disaster, with cities burning and mass amounts of people dying, perhaps even enough that the Red states acknowledge it this time. A group of scientists are in a research lab under the ocean (?) to experiment on captured infected sharks to try and find a cure. It looks like it was filmed in a sparse office building where there is absolutely no signage on the cement block walls, giving both a claustrophobic feel, and one of expansive space, thanks in part to the staircases, where some scenes are shot. They are an odd bunch of randy people, watched over by a single sociopathic macho security guard with bare arms to show off the “guns,” Duke (Ken Van Sant, who has played this character or versions of it before in such films as 2016’s Sharkenstein and Bigfoot vs. Zombies, both directed by Polonia), who looks like he just stepped out of Troma’s Surf Nazi’s Must Die (1987). There is an interesting mix of Zoom type shots and groups together for filming during the pandemic; I’m guessing the groups were filmed early on and the Zooming later in the year at the height of Phase 1. For me, the biggest problem here is that it takes itself too seriously, even with characters that are extremely stereotypical (again, randy scientists who seem more interested in possible hook-ups than the cure). The head of the team, Gregory McLandon (Titus Himmelberger, who has appeared in a number of Polonia shark-related releases, looking quite a bit like Josh Brolin in 2007’s Planet Terror). He definitely has more interest in a past lover who is the group’s connection to the surface world gone to hell, Shannon Muldoon (Sarah Duterte) than his job. The only scientists who actually seems to give a care, and possibly close to a breakthrough, is Ann Satcher (Natalie Himmelberger) and Kristi Parks (Jamie Morgan). Between backstabbing, failing infrastructure, and the virus starting to spread in the close quarters (reference, perhaps, to Poe’s short story, “Masque of the Red Death,” from 1842), things get hairy, and zombie-like. I like that Polonia tends to use much of the same cast in many of his films, giving some kind of consistency. That doesn’t mean it is necessarily acted well, but as with the rest of the zeitgeist, it makes it unintendedly funny in a good way. With all the mishigas, the story really kicked in when the exposure under the sea takes hold and starts to ravage the cast. Then there are the mutant blood-drinking “marauders.” So much happening in such a short piece, it doesn’t get the chance to get boring. The make-up is cheesy but not too bad for the budget. Overall, the film was time well spent in silliness. In my humble opinion, I wish the Polonia brothers would cut down a bit on their schedules and pay a bit more attention to one film at a time, perhaps the overall quality would be improved from unintendedly funny to perhaps so-bad-its-good (Mark released six films he directed in 2021, with one more completed and two in post-production, for example). Either way, again, it is worth the watch just for the audacity of it. Respect, brothers.

 

House Shark
Directed by Ron Bonk
Potato Eater Productions; SRS Cinema; Duke; MVD Entertainment
112 minutes, 2017
www.facebook.com/houseshark
www.sharkhousemovie.com
www.srscinema.com

www.MVDb2b.com

Director Ron Bonk has not only directed a bunch of oddball films in general, like She Kills (2016) and Clay (2007), but has also produced a number of shark films for other people, such as the Polonia Brothers. Bonk runs SRS Cinema, so he has a personal outlet. His own films tend to lean to the silly side, but with a sharp snide of comedy that balances it out. Good stoner stuff, if I was into that. He also seems to have a thing for weird facial hair either cut in exotic ways or so fakey looking paste-ons one can’t help but laugh. In this case he relies on the character of Abraham (Wes Reid) for that, who wears a fakey Lincoln kinda beard and matching shock wig. For some reason, most of the characters are named after US presidents and other historical figures, such as the main character Frank Roosevelt (Trey Harrison, who was the also-weirdly mustachioed Dirk in She Kills) whose wife is Lady Bird (Melissa LaMartina) and his son is Theo (Nathan Bonk), the House Shark hunter Zachary Taylor (Michael Merchant), etc., including the shark. If that doesn’t indicate that this is a comedy, I don’t know what will, but yeah, it’s well written if acted with heavy emoting at times, and so far is the best of the shark films on this list. For the story, Frank’s house has been invaded by a house shark (in land-locked Rochester, NY), who obviously can move on land and make a gory and bloody mess. Frank is trying to protect people but a shadowy real estate agency is aiming to sell it from under him before it gets foreclosed by the bank. Hilarity, gratuitous nudity and gore abound as Frank enlists Zachary and Abraham to plot ways to get rid of this foul house-bound creature. There are lots of mash-ups thrown in, such as a Star Wars reference with Darth Squanto (Wayne Johnson), Aliens (1986) and a Tarantino-esque dialog about vending machines that could have come from Pulp Fiction (1994). In Jaws (1975) terms, or Aw-jays in Pig Latin as it is used in this film, each character fits a role, with ex-cop Frank in the Brody role, researcher Zachary as Hooper, and gruff alcoholic Abraham filling in for Quint, who gets to do a hysterical version of Quint’s navy story concerning the Real Estate Parade of Houses. It is true that the film is a bit longer than it needs to be, but it never drags, even with a fixation on things related to the anus. Yet without the action, and there is a lot, especially in the second half, the dialogue itself holds up; some by Abraham sounds ad libbed. I was impressed with the pro-LGBQT stances scattered throughout and disappointed a bit by the homophobic names. As a straight dude, I’m having trouble reading which way the film leans, pro or con. With the use of audacious underwater filters, very visible strings on objects to make them look like they are floating, and breath holding for ridiculous amounts of time, the film reminds me a bit of LakeMichigan Monster (2020), which is a high compliment. Make sure to stick around until after the credits for the coda. My big question, though, is as follows: since it takes place and is filmed in Rochester, did anyone sneak a bit north to Irondequoit to visit the House of Guitars (The HOG)?

 

Shark Encounters of the Third Kind (aka Aliens vs. Sharks)
Directed by Mark Polonia
Polonia Brothers Entertainment; Wild Eye Releasing; MVD Entertainment
75 minutes, 2020
www.wildeyereleasing.com
www.MVDb2b.com

The reason I saved this one for last is that I am a fan of the screenwriter, John Oak Dalton (an interview including about this film is HERE),  who directed The Girl in the Crawlspace (2018) and Scarecrow County (2019) along with writing numerous screenplays for the Polonia Brothers. I will say one thing for the Polonias, they certainly do like to make use of masks, including this, the beforementioned Virus Shark, and The Empire of the Apes franchise that started in 2013). Based in name only on two Steven Spielberg works, it would be foolish to compare them, just on budget alone. The total cost of this is probably an infinitesimal fraction of the salary of one of the stars of either earlier film. No, the reason to watch this is to see what they can do for how little, the purposefully cheese level, and the sheer absurdity and audacity of it all. And again, this is a compliment. As Dalton said in that interview, “I like to try to make (my films) funny, with a lot of nods to horror fandom, lots of energy and outlandish situations and characters.” In that, he is utterly successful. The swimmer underwater near the beginning alone speaks to that, and had me feeling joyous in its visual and textual insanity. Polonia does well to mix stock footage and newly shot ones – sometimes even combining them – to create an atmosphere that fools no one, but puts the scene in appropriate context. And I haven’t even gotten to the opening credits yet, which come in at the 9-minute mark. As for the crux of the story, cleavage-bearing therapist Dr. Kay Radtke (Jennie Russo, who was so good in She Kills, and looking so much better than she did in a cameo in House Shark), who seems to only own one dress (yes, it’s that film budget thing, but at least it accentuates) discovers a man’s shark bitten head on a beach, which brings in square-jawed harbor patrol Alan Cason (Titus Himmelberger, who has one of the best lines in the film based on John Carpenter’s 1988’s They Live) on the job. Radtke is now running her late group sessions in Santa Monica for people who have been abducted, or believe they have (of course they have in this context), including Camila and Nesbo (Natalie Himmelberger and Steve Diasparra, respectively, both of whom, along with Titus and others, are Polonia regulars, and all appeared in Virus Shark). Meanwhile, there are treasure hunters looking for a U-Boat that was reportedly sunk in 1945 with escaping Nazis and gold (or was it an urban legend?). To finish the trifecta, a pair of “greys” have taken their UFO and gone unda da wata, with intentions unknown. All three parts of the story dance around each other, and will eventually crash and smash into a single storyline, I have no doubt, as they tend to do in the film world. Polonia and Dalton have very similar film aesthetics as far as wanting to entertain the audience, and they have proven, once again, in the schlockiest of ways (again, a compliment), they have the ability. Just keep your expectations at a certain level, not expecting a MCU level extravaganza, and you may just find yourself having some fun.








 

Monday, January 10, 2022

Review: Monsters in the Closet

 Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2022
Images from the Internet

Monsters in the Closet
Directed by The Snygg Brothers (aka John Bacchus aka Zachary Winston Brown)
Purgatory Blues LLC; Gravitas Ventures
89 minutes, 2022
www.facebook.com/MonstersInTheCloset

Man, I have not seen a genre film shot in my home town of New York City in a really long time (though I do believe some parts were done in Pennsylvania). I would rather see it in a horror than something like “Blue Bloods,” to see the city streets and lights. You know there are going to be overview city “placement” shots of b-roll footage. And sure enough, one minute in…

This is actually an anthology film that is shot for this release, not cobbled together (I like both formats equally, FYI). It is kinda cool that the wraparound story itself has a prologue. Actually, calling it a wraparound is kind of inadequate, as it is also one of the anthology stories and is the key connector between the pieces. I love when they do that.

Jasmin Flores

Raymond Castle (Tom C. Niksson, aka Tom Cikoski), an annoying writer of horror short stories and collector of things macabre. I am sure other viewers than myself will be looking at the merchandise in the background and saying “I want that,” or “I have that.” The posters on the wall are for sexploitation obscurities like Rock ‘n’ Roll Frankenstein (1999) and An Erotic Werewolf in London (2006, starring Erin Brown, aka Misty Mundae.

The premise of the film is that Castle has used black magic to make his stories come to life if they are read aloud (a well-used and beloved trope, such as “Beetlejuice!” “Bloody Mary!” “Candyman!”). This results in his estranged daughter, Jasmin Castle (Jasmin Flores, who co wrote the wraparound with “Snygg”) coming into the picture as she tries to figure out just what is going on. Playing an audio file version Raymond created of his stories on his computer (titled – you guessed it – Monsters in the Closet), we start off with the short films.

For example, the opening salvo is a humorous and gory partial first-person POV zombie apocalypse, as we see a woman becoming a zombie from the perspective of said flesh-eater. We hear her thoughts in clarity as others see her as a creature. This was done, albeit in a different effect, in Wasting Away (aka Ah! Zombies!!; 2007). While this idea has been done before (e.g., the short “2 Hours” in 2012, sans humor), but this is smartly written and designed. As promised, this brings you-know-whats storming the Castle house.

Now, under – er – normal circumstances, one would stop with the stories right there, and Jasmin is too occupied to listen to more, so an unexplained disembodies hand (borrowed Thing from “The Addams Family” perhaps?) climbs the keyboard to start the stories going again while Jasmin has her space continuingly clustered by creatures of various sorts and the tale telling is on autopilot.

Other stories include an annoying couple (Carmilla Crawford, Luke Couzens) buying their first fixer-upper house and the slow build-up of tension and violence turning into a bit of body horror/torture porn as they try to bring it up to snuff with limited experience (“Well, I did have shop in High School…” he states). In another, a rich, out of touch and racist father (Phillip Green) and spoiled daughter, Tiffany (Jordan Flippo) – obviously modeled after Donald and Ivanka – who argue about a camping trip; she talks about mistakes she will make in the future, such as eating pizza with the wrong fork, a line that made me stop the film and laugh, having grown up in Italian Bensonhurst, Brooklyn, home of the best pizza, where slices are folded when eaten, with no utensils needed…but I digress… She is not the sharpest stick in the woods because of the stick up her jealous ass, leading to some dire actions in a version of Richard Connell’s “The Most Dangerous Game” (1924) – shades of Don Jr. and Eric. While no one gets shot on 5th Avenue, the philosophy remains the same.

Of course, they save the best and funniest for last. Seems Dr. Frankenstein (John Paul Fidele) and the Mrs. (a hysterical Valerie Bittner) – note that the film calls her “Mrs.” rather than “Ms.,” not me – live in…well, I won’t spoil the best joke in the film. After an accident, the “mad” doc does his Frankenstein magic and viola, etc., et. al, and so on, ad nauseum. It nicely uses purposefully cliché classical tunes like Edward Grieg’s “Hall of the Mountain King” and Maurice Ravel’s “Bolero” to give it a Universal Pictures oeuvre.

It is smart that the film casts a wide net in genres, with many classical monsters in one form or another, but in completely different contexts and sprinkled in witty writing. Raymond’s between-story ramblings sound a bit ad-libbed and peculiar, even here, but I’ll swim with the fishes (or elephant sized chickens…see the film).

While there is no nudity in the film, there is a bizarre sex scene and a whole lot of cleavage. The gore and blood are plentiful. The practical SFX runs from really gross and dripping, to cartoonish and, well, mannequin limbs. There is also some digital blood spurts added as well, "splashing" the camera lens. But that’s the thing about having a foundation of comedy, which hear varies from the dark to the whoopies!, and that is that it gives room for the cheese to ferment, and becomes more accessible and acceptable. If they used, say, a mannequin arm in a Saw film, for example, that would not fly, but in something like The Mask (1994), it makes room for drawing outside the lines.

Tom C. Niksson

The film looks pretty good. I was a bit concerned about the opening, honestly, with it’s use of primary lighting (red, blue, cyan), thinking it may be leaning heavily towards a Creepshow (1982) vibe, because this starts actually looking a bit like that, being an anthology and all, but as we move along, that type of dated lighting is curtailed and it is easier to focus on the stories rather than it trying to be “art.” That being said, there are some lovely shots here, that are atmospheric and artistic, but it doesn’t bludgeon you over the head (pun not intended) with it, but it is used sparingly throughout.

The previous film by “The Snygg Brothers” was Beaster Day: Here Comes Peter Cottenhell (2014), which I honestly have not seen, but I am going to at some point as it is on Tubi (the image of Peter Cottenhell is Raymond’s screen saver). Two things about the “Snygg Brothers.” The first is the “Snygg” collective is like the Ramones, where in the credits there is a bunch of first names followed by the other, such as Vincent Snygg. The Swedish word snygg means “handsome,” but I’m guessing in this case it may also be an acronym, like [??] New York [??] Group. As for the director, it is a pseudonym for a man who is basically known for directing adult fare, both soft and hard, but obviously has enough talent to give us, at this point two horror films that are nicely offbeat.

[Added later: I finally saw Beaster Day on Tubi, and while it is as stupid and silly as can be in a fun way, some of the writing is actually quite hysterical, and Fidele, who plays Dr. Frankenstein in Monsters, steals the film with his role as a mayor who is prescient in Trumpian political spin.]

IMDB is HERE


Wednesday, January 5, 2022

Review: The Wrong Sarah

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2022
Images from the Internet

The Wrong Sarah
Directed by Jason Toler
Sunrayz International Films; Cinema Epoch; Cineridge Entertainment
64 minutes, 2021
www.facebook.com/cinemaepoch/

This release is part of a prolific film collective (including Cineridge Entertainment and Mad Sinema) that I really respect, which includes the likes of Shane Ryan, Lisa London, Christina Lo, Sarah Brine, and Chris Spinelli, among others, who appear here. I have reviewed a number of their products, including Choke, Quarantine Girl, Heartbeat, and Sinful (all 2020). They promote new actors and directors as well, such as Jason Toler, who writes, directs, and stars in this one as FBI Agent Lance. The quality of the films may vary widely, but the effort is appreciated.

The most basic premise of the story is that a serial killer is, one by one, traveling around the ,country and killing off women whose name is Sarah, in search of a specific one. Of course, as with many others, my first thought was of the opening of The Terminator (1984), where the titular cyborg is killing off all the Sarah Connors, and wondered if that’s where Toler got the idea for the name character here. Doesn’t change anything, just curiosity.

I used the word “basic” because this is a minimalist, stripped down storyline of a police procedural, as well as following the antics of the serial killer as he burns and stabs his way through his victims. As all the murder victims shown are named Sarah, the violence tends being towards women. I will leave that for what it is, you can make up your own opinion. I will say, however, how 1980s.

The title of the film comes from the aftermath of the killings, where the masked murderer leaves a spray-painted message near the body, “Wrong Sarah,” as he plows through them. Question is, if he knows they are the wrong Sarah, why kill them? He is on a mission, so this is not just random mayhem. Well, at least there is a decent amount of slaughter, but more on that later.

Jason Toller

There are three main points of focus to the characters in various degrees. The first is the lead, the aforementioned FBI agent (Toler) who is trying to suss what is happening and to capture the fiend. Of course, the murderer does have a cool name, “The Black Rose Killer” due to the black rose he leaves by the corpses. FBI Agent Lance and occasionally his team, including FBI Agents Linda (Lo) and Will (Spinelli), hunt him down, though the killer is seemingly, depending on whose perspective, as Roberts states more than once, either two steps ahead or the FBI is two steps behind.

The second spotlight is on the killer himself. He wears a really cool digital mask in a grid formation that produces a digital fire image. It looks so much better than the more common cowl or clown façade. He is silent but deadly, and incredibly prolific so there is a nice body count. Most of the kills, however, are off-screen, or use CGI; the digital fire for the first victim we see (Brine) is actually a bit comical due to it keeping between the lines. But for the budget, it is what it is, and I’m okay with that.

The third and final highlight is the final Sarah (model Elliott Woods), the only one of the attackees that we see in any depth, though it’s still wading pool deep. What I am trying to say with that last comment is that there isn’t much character development, other than Lance being contemplative while he works out at the gym and when jogging, and a secret from the final Sarah’s past involving her mother. While this is essentially a three-character play, we get to know pretty little about anyone of them, and forget about any of the secondary ones, such as Lance’s team or friends of the trio.

It is worth noting that in real life, calling 911 for a car break-in is a sure-fire way to get a summons as it is not considered a life and death emergency. Also, a fun textural error, Roberts first introduces himself as having been working on the case for 6 months, and later on says it was 2 months. Man, I truly love indie cinema just for reasons like this. On major films, this would be a continuity error that would be bounced back and forth among cinephiles with smug contempt, but here, it’s “cool, that was funny.”

In a similar vein of cinema easter eggs that are intentional and more allowable in indie films is a shot of the killer standing on a street corner with back to camera that is a dead (pun intended) reminder of the opening of the Joker in The Dark Knight (2008).

As for the masked killer? Well, if you haven’t guessed who it is by the time of the reveal, you just haven’t watched enough police procedurals, or slasher films. It took me all of a second of the introduction of the character in his real persona to know who’s who, and while not as obvious, you may even guess on some level why’s why. But again, honestly, it doesn’t matter because I really don’t believe the film was trying that hard to confuse or hide anything. Like I said, this is pretty basic and is obviously – and rightfully so – unembarrassed about it. I will say, however, I am hoping at some point Toler collaborates with someone rather than writing on his own, because I think that could give him a boost. This is the third film for the director, including Crack House of the Dead (2021), another police-based film, but involving zombies. And a crack house, but this is the first of his productions I have seen.

Elliott Woods

Here, there is the inevitable showdown between Toler’s FBI agent and the masked killer, after the obligatory sex scene; Woods is definitely attractive, more so than her acting chops at this stage of her career which will hopefully continue and improve. But to be fair, much of the acting here is on the deer-in-headlights range, but short of wooden. Toler definitely needs to push his cast (and himself) a bit more to emote.

I realize that this has nothing directly to do with the quality of the film, but its odd that the names of the characters on IMDB are listed different than in the film itself. For example, Toler’s agent is called Jack on IMDB and in the story it is Lance. Was this just a joke to see if anyone was paying attention (which I would respect), or was the page filled in before the actual shooting and they didn’t bother to change it (which would annoy me)? This is also true for the occasional plot hole (e.g., the reason for the black rose is never explained).

This is a pretty short film coming in at just over an hour, yet it feels padded at times, such as Lance’s workout scenes. On the other hand, I understand it from what I am assuming is from the director’s perspective in that he could film the scenes with minimal crew, as it is just him onscreen, and he can shoot these on his own schedule with whatever crew he can arrange at the moment.

This production crew seems intent on putting out as much content as it can, as quickly as it can. Personally, I would love for them to slow down a little, and pay more focus on each picture, instead of double- or possibly triple-filming at the same time. This would increase the quality of the product, and keep the plot holes to a minimum. That being said, I also am impressed how they all work together to showcase and promote their skills. In the words of Monk, their output is “a blessing…and a curse.”

The film is available on Amazon, Vimeo, and free on TubiTV.com (with commercials, which is where I viewed it).

IMBD Listing HERE 

 



 

Saturday, January 1, 2022

Favorite and Not Favorite Horror Films for 2021

Favorite and Not Favorite Horror Films for 2021

 Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2022
Images from the Internet


As always, I will first republish the rules I have about such lists as these:

I have an issue with “Best of” and “Worst of” year-end lists for the following reasons: most are chosen from either those that play in theaters. For me, I like to watch the DIY ones, for these tend to have more heart. My list consists of films that I saw and reviewed in 2021, not necessarily ones that were originally n that year.


As for Best and Worst, I never liked those terms; art is just way too subjective, which is why I called them Favorites and Not Favorites. That being said, even the “Not” ones have redeeming qualities, and the fact that I felt they had issues means nothing. I have hated films that have won tons of awards, and liked some that other find abhorrent, so don’t take anything I say, good or bad, as the definitive. It’s just opinion, and I welcome you to agree or disagree. It’s all good.


These two lists are alphabetical, rather than ranked (another thing I don’t believe in).

These are condensed reviews. The link to the full, original review is at the bottom of each listing.

Favorites:

Dante’s Shadow of Sin
Directed by Dakota Ray
I ask you: in the time of Covid, what’s a man supposed to do? Easy, just down a glass or two of absinthe, get a new and sharper lens for your camera, and direct your eighth film of nihilistic behavior, as has done Denver-based director/writer/cinematographer/editor Dakota Ray. Ray’s characteristic use of monochrome-colored filters, in this case one that is a rich, dark blue hue, the new lens really is incredible at showing details. As is his wont and right, the title character is played by the director and his insanely deep voice, who in the first line, explains the nihilism that clouds his very soul: “My name is Dante, and I serve no man but myself.” He is remorseless, unhinged from reality, and a complete narcissist. There is a lot of fine editing by Ray, which improves with every film, between characters, objects, Satanic symbols, and insects in various states of health. These, their use as subliminal commentary on the action, all become characters in their own right in a way, rather than just be filler. Two years after committing a horrific murder, Dante is contacted by an acquaintance, Mahoganny who has inherited the Boleskin House (referencing the Boleskine House in Scotland, owned by renowned Satanist Aleister Crowley and guitarist Jimmy Page). Mahoganny suggests they get together and go to the house. The name Mahoganny is more symbolic for the hardness and darkness of his heart rather than skin color. Throughout the film, we hear the thoughts of the two central characters more than words are spoken, which makes sense since so much of the planning of these two are secretive, so we become cognizant of just what the hell is going on. We also hear the drug-induced disembodied voices of objects such as dolls, a white rabbit and a goat head who represent the Satanic elements. Dante, though not redeemable, kills for a purpose, even if it is self-gratification. With Mahoganny, however, slow and painful control and sadism is more his speed. These two both know that the time in the vacation house will not end well, and each has a motive to be the only one out, but the build-up to the confrontation is a large part of what is going on through the story. With hexes, drugs, alcohol and just sheer deviance of a multitude of natures, these guys have a deep hatred that Ray manages to convey quite strongly. It a steadily intensifying to-the-death duel, both mentally and physically. The lightening in the sky is a foretelling of the bad actions to come. The film is broken into a number of chapters via long title cards. This is also common among Ray’s films. However, story-wise, this is the most cohesive of the eight, being rather threadbare in its plot. Rather than mixing a number of different stories into one, here he focuses on the two main characters, and yes, you could say that it still two tales into one, but its focus is more exact, with less opaque moments. As much as I have enjoyed all of Ray’s releases, I think this one could be a turning point as far as a pathway. As much as I like the past ones, I look forward to the swing in this direction.
Full review and trailer HERE 

 

The Forever Room
Directed by Kevin Hicks
This psychological thriller starts off with Claire, a young woman who is chained by her ankle in a basement somewhere that has basic necessities, and a bucket for, well, you know. However, there is naught but herself to spend the time. She is way angrier than she is scared of her captor, an older woman named Helen. The latter accuses Claire of committing a heinous crime and states, “You have a lot of skeletons in your closet, dear,” which Claire vehemently denies. That’s just the opening. As the film progresses, things are not always what they seem at first, and much of the story is the basis of the relationship between these two women. Claire is confused and angry, and Helen is (mostly) calm and calculating, many of their exchanges being when it is feeding time. Each conversation builds on the previous one, with bits of information to the audience to fill them in. Despite the claustrophobia of the small room in which Claire forcibly occupies, the story is interesting, and the viewer wants to know more and more of what put these two people in this dire situation. Claire doesn’t remember anything before being chained up, but parts of her past are telegraphed by both events that happen to Claire in the room, and the things she hears. Meanwhile, people keep appearing when Claire is alone, such as a middle aged man, Ethan, Rebecca, who is closer to her age, and a boy named Michael who seems to be playing a game of hide and seek with Claire. Rebecca explains how she is a figment of Claire’s imagination (“Haven’t you ever had an imaginary friend?”), but something dark brings out these three…and a couple of sock puppets. No, I’m not kidding. Possibly it is a bit like Gerald’s Game (2017) in that the imagination runs havoc, perhaps it is dreams, or is it something more sinister or supernatural than that? Over time, the frequency of the pop-ins increases and become more intense. Sometimes it is incredibly creepy, especially with Ethan and Michael. Rebecca is sort of a Greek Chorus in that she helps with some self-questioning and pieces of exposition for the viewer. Or perhaps it is Claire’s own brain eating itself because she refuses to eat for days on end. Despite the small, narrow space, the filming work is well staged, almost like a three-camera television shoot, keep the elbow room still tight, but not too claustrophobic. The two female leads prove themselves to be naturalistic actors who makes it look easy, making them both empathetic and unhinged in fearless performances. The lighting is phenomenal, with shades of primary colors, but not to the Creepshow (1982) level, but more of a realistic tone, and with the editing gives some expansion to the space. Speaking of the basement, this could actually be a one-set play, using shadows and dark spots for characters to “pop” in and out quite easily. It almost seems like it was written that way. For a troupe of five (not counting the two puppets), the story stays engaging for the full run time, and even though the space is small, as is the cast, it remains compelling. The final act is full of unexpected moments and answers quite a few questions. A good watch.
Full review and trailer HERE 

 

A Ghost Waits
Directed by Adam Stovall
Most of us have seen hauntings films, where the spirits are present in the home and they are going to probably scare the inhabitants away. This is the job of a particular ghost, Muriel, and she is a champ at it. No one will stay at the Cincinnati house, which is – in the alive world – possessed by a management company that just wants the problem of constantly rotating lease-breaking tenants solved. To get the house ready for the next renters, handyman employee Jack clean sup and takes care of any issues. It becomes pretty obvious early on that what is there walks alone, and steals his pizza. Jack is a bit of a ne’er-do-well though good at his job, and is just floating through life in a job that doesn’t really mean much to him. It is pretty obvious that Muriel and Jack are going to connect on some level. It takes a while, but these two lost souls are looking for something and someone. Muriel has her own issues with her by-the-book spook supervisor, Ms. Henry and a fellow up-and-coming “spectral agent” Rosie. This film definitely has a comic vibe to it, though it is more of a “dramedy.” It is well written, especially the way it uses the soundtrack as another major character. It is also interesting to see the differences between the two main haunting ghosts. Rosie is newer, and more up-to-date in her language as a teenager, while Muriel talks with no contractions, as in “I do not,” as opposed to the more modern “I don’t”. I thought this was a really smart, deliberate, and subtle choice. Another one of the understated points of the film, though written by men, is that the strongest characters here are the women. Jack is kind of weak and generally unmotivated in life, but Muriel likes what she does and is, to say the least, fierce. And yet she has a lot to learn in the experience which makes her more independent and a leader (such as over Rosie), taking control of her own life – er – death to make choices. This pro-women aspect is one of the finer themes of the film for me. Because, in part, due to the use of sharp shadows, especially on Muriel’s face as she is consistently lit from below (as are all the spectral agents), the film works so much better in Black and White and, again, it was a wise choice. It’s just the right amount of grainy, which gives the look a sense of texture. There are also many very long shots, some static and others following the characters, rather than a jumble of quick edits. It works for the pace of the story. While I thought the ending was predictable, it was really the right way to end this, so I did not let that get in the way of the story. Overall, it was the right length to keep the interest up, and had some really fine moments. The acting is top notch and helps make the film even more enjoyable. This is fun, and may play well as a date night film without being too Hallmarky over-schmaltz. For a director’s first film, this is quite compelling and a positive release.
Full review and trailer HERE 

 

Lake Michigan Monster
Directed by Ryland Brickson Cole Tews
Almost like a Terry Gilliam fever dream, we are introduced to Capt. Seafield (director Ryland Brickson Cole Tews) who explains that his dear ole dad was killed by the titular creature, and gathers a crew together to find and slay it. There is snarky weapons expert Sean Shaughnessy (Erick West), Sonar “individual” Nedge Pepsi (Beulah Peters), and former Naval Officer Dick Flynn (Daniel Long), or as Seafield calls them, “The Team of the Century.” There is more to the cast, such as the director’s father playing his pirate-clad brother Ashcroft (Wayne Tewsd), and his 87-year-old grandmother playing his wife, Martha (Lucille Tews). The cool-yet-chincey-in-a-good-way looking sea hag monster is played by the director, Ryland, that looks a bit like the titular The She-Creature (1956). Of course, things don’t go as planned, as if there were a real plan, though that not-real plan gets played out more than once, leading to a mutiny of sorts. I will not give away much of the story, such as it is, and will instead revel in its insanity. Through what looks like it may be Paper Mache masks, scenery and monsters, along with the graphics, Tews’ vision is brought to life, in its own twisted world within our world. There are some amazing set pieces, mostly either on or under the water, in Milwaukee (beer plays a key role in this, as should be, as beer could be what made Milwaukee famous), the North Point Light Station (lighthouse), or on the Lake X-press ferry. The whole third act’s setting is ridiculous at best, which is part of what makes its charm. The film is shot in contrasty and grainy black and white with “film scratches” added in to “age” it. Even so, there is a lot of animation work going on; when it was filmed it was with a green screen to add texture and said computer graphics. There are three ways to watch this film. The first is get shitfaced and to just mock it like you’re on “Mystery Science Theater 3000”; have a blast! The second is to see it straight, pay attention to the humor and catch the lines the stoners are bound to miss, and feel righteously smug (my category). Third is to just think it’s a stupid mess and turn it off after five minutes as you would with the likes of Monty Python and complain that “SNL” hasn’t been funny since John Belushi left. For me, I found it quite amusing, knowing I would be watching it again to dig for the jokes I missed, and I’m guessing there are a few. There are some influences here and there, such as Guy Maddin, and there is a bit of the good Capt. playing checkers with a ghost a la Ingmar Bergman’s The Seventh Seal (1957). It took me three happy days to watch the film and all the extras.
Full review and trailer HERE 

 

Making Monsters
Directed by Justin Harding and Rob Brunner
The story centers around a couple: Christian runs his prank site, and then there is the focus of his vicious pranking, his fiancé Allison. Merry prankster, indeed, making money off people that he terrorizes. Allison is stressed out and done, and asks him to cut it the fuck out, so they decide to take some time and visit friends out in the country. In genre films, is it ever good to go out to a house – actually, a deconsecrated church – in the middle of nowheresville (a fancier cabin-eth in the woods)? This one is owned by Chris’s long-lost school friend Jesse and his fiancé, the very odd and off David, who is an uber fan of the prank videos. In the words of that other great thinker, Astro, “Ruh-row.” After a night of some sex and drugs, this leads to something unworldly. Up to now, it’s been in our realm, but post-hallucinogenic, the audience is not sure what we are seeing is supernatural or part of a mind-bender, leading to some nice and creepy shit, and some decent jump scares. The question is what happens when a prankster meets the dark Web real deal? A taste of his own medicine? You see some of this coming early on in the second Act, but certain elements keep the tensions taut, I am happy to say. This is definitely a watch between the fingers kind of film, and not just because of the violence, but the expectation of it. That’s what makes this enjoyable. This could have been really corny, but the acting, especially by the two leads, and the way it was shot and stylishly put together by the directors (who have worked extensively in television, such as “Top Chef Canada” and “Canada’s Worst Drivers”), make this a pretty solid scarefest. By the end, the tension really ramps up and becomes quite a frenetic film as our killer, in a mask that I suppose is meant to reflect Chris’s look with long hair and a somewhat beard, makes his way through the small cast with quite gruesome and beautifully done SFX. As I have indicated earlier, there is a supernatural element to the film in the form of a ghost, which was fine for some jump scares, but honestly, there really did not need to be anything like that needed, as the spookie really does not advance the story at all (though it looks cool), and the human part of it is certainly terrifying enough. That being said, this is one of the better slasher films I have seen in a while, being innovative while not going too far off the mark for some effective genre tropes. Yeah, I enjoyed this one a lot.
Full review and trailer HERE  

 

Winifred Meeks
Directed by Jason Figgis
Asthmatic Anna James (Lara Belmont) is a popular author of youth mysteries on a deadline, who has hit a dry patch. What better way to rekindle a writing block than to rent a stunning house in the middle of nowhere? This particular trope is well; perhaps the underlying connection is that the creative mind is more open to spirituality. Anyway, the Seaview House in Suffolk, England, is beautiful, but imbued with a darkness (filters help) that could have come right out of Shirley Jackson’s iconic opening paragraph of her novel The Haunting of Hill House (1959). At once both modern (such as a flat-screen TV) and rustic (lead pane windows and a dial phone), it is a perfect place for a spookie to be hanging around, doncha think? I really enjoyed how he would situate the camera in a different room, and you would watch the character of focus through the doorway. The first act is mostly atmospheric, as Anna settles in for the night, with a beautiful score and long and luxurious shots at the start, other than a quick jump scare. We get familiar with the sadness of Anna, reflecting these moody views of her temporary life at the house. It definitely starts as a slow burn, with one subtle indication that there is something not right, shown almost as a throwaway line (okay image), and another warning of what’s to come. Ever slowly, but increasingly so, the presence of a previous owner, the titular Winifred makes herself known. She vacillates between sadness and anger, both reflecting the mood of Anna, but bringing her own story with it, which is the mystery behind the film of which Anna seeks to learn in the second act. While this is a contemporary story – albeit with an older ghost from a hundred years ago – I would definitely define this as gothic, with its turn-of-the-century (at least) house and what inhabits within its walls (and beyond). I believed I figured out the ending pretty early on, but I’m happy to say I was wrong, Figgis did not take the easy and obvious route, which is refreshing. With only two living on-screen characters and one un-, the rest of the cast is either on the phone or mostly the radio. Perhaps the disembodied voices are to reflect the spirits of the world, or specifically Winifred. It is a solid choice. The photography and drone work are excellent, over the beautiful West Coast of England. There is no blood, no violence, no nudity (other than an upper back), and no contact, and yet this still manages to be extremely creepy, which is a credit to Figgis. My appreciation of his work just keeps growing.
Full review and trailer HERE 

 

Witness Infection
Directed by Andy Palmer
We are introduced to two rival mob families from Jersey, who went into the witness protection program, and by an FBI mistake, both get sent to the same small city of Temecula, California. Needless to say, there are a lot of bowling shirts and jumpsuits. Rather than go to war and kill each other, they pull a Dark Ages type deal between them, where Carlo – who runs a pet grooming shop – and rival gang daughter Patricia have one week to get married, and then produce a kid. Neither is happy about this arrangement, especially Carlo’s co-groomer, Gina, who loves him. If you have already figured out where this goes, it will not matter in the long run. Along for the ride is Carlo’s older letch and cinephile cousin and (further) comic relief Vince, who has the best line in the film. Anyways, there’s a popular street meat food truck selling sausage sangwiches that is having a disastrous effect on people, turning them into zombies, but while stumbling around can also be fast, and definitely with a George A. Romero-style hunger. Oh, and their skin starts to boil and melt.While the humor is mostly verbal and pretty consistent, it is worth paying attention because there are a lot of throw-away lines that are easy to miss, and are too good to ignore (even the groaners). Part of the fun is the many other film references, from the verbal mentioning of a few films to the more subtle ones like two hit men who seem to be right out of Pulp Fiction (1994), and then there’s Rose, presenting a fine Pam Grier/Coffy-like (1973) pose; her meta-commentary on blacks in genre films is a hoot.The first two acts, which are totally worth watching, is mostly comedy, but then the bloodbath starts in earnest in the third act. There is a huge body count, and copious amounts of blood, guns, gore, and guts, and looks spectacular.Usually in a film like this, the tendency is to play the characters broadly – usually too much so – but director Andy Palmer manages to squeeze out some really nice performances, even though a bit over the top in stereotypes. This is a good thing. It is not surprising to me, though, because the cast is well-seasons with large amounts of credits on IMDB. This is one of the better zombie films I have seen in a while, especially in the comic vein (pun not intended).
Full review and trailer HERE 

 Not Favorites:

 

Bigfoot’s Bride
Directed by Erick Wofford
Bigfoot ain’t the only thing retro going on here. W set foot in the woods with an old-film-into-VHS-style filter that occasionally adds scratches and “rolling” distortion to the images, and an oversaturation of color. There is also an ‘80s-style synth soundtrack (not counting the excellent Americana music over the credits). The film appears to be shot on a single-camera in Georgia, including the beautiful Chattahoochee National Forest, about two hours northeast of Atlanta. And because it’s a throwback, it should come as no surprise that there are Bigfoot POV shots using what I believe is an infra-red, fisheye lens. It definitely is not taking itself too seriously and is a very dry comedy, and I like that. However, it is more humorous than funny, making the occasional bits stand out all the more. The titular bride is Heather. She’s pitched her tent in the woods on her own (who does that?), with you-know-who watching her every move, including some cringy bathroom moments. It’s love at first sight for Biggie, as he follows her around like a schoolboy, trying to get up the courage to approach her (you heard me). Meanwhile there is fish to try and catch, and RVs to rummage, and other campers/body count upon which to chomp. It’s all a matter of survival for our Bigfoot, which seems to not be too easy. The creature’s head and the film’s make-up look pretty good, even at its cheesiest. He does look more like Toxie or a later version of Jason Vorhees than Bigfoot – plus he wears overalls with a nametag and his upper hair is an obvious jacket – but in the words of Liam Lynch, whatever. There is a lot of practical effects, even a touch of cartoonish gore, but the occasional time there is blood spray, it is hysterically cartoonish CGI, reminding me of the “Pow” balloons in the old “Batman” television show from 1965. I have no doubt this was done purposefully, and it made me laugh out loud. One of the interesting aspects of this film is that even when Biggie interacts with others, it’s rare to see him and the other person in the same shot, but rather goes back and forth like they weren’t filmed at the same time. Perhaps this was filmed in the height of Covid, and that was their workaround? From a technical perspective, this intrigued me. I had an issue with the use of the Bigfoot name, as it is incredibly inaccurate. There is no explanation as to why this deformed guy with Bigfoot feet and talons is given that name; that being said, in the middle of the end credits, its origin and nods at a possible sequel are hinted. Those fans of the hairy Sasquatch may be turned off by that association. While the director shows quite a bit of heart and some beginning filmmaking skills, there were definitely some issues with the film. For example, the first two acts are merely set pieces strung together with little connection other than his lust for Heather. It isn’t until the third act that the story begins to find some cohesion into an actual storyline. For me, the biggest problem was in Wofford’s editing, as in not enough. This would have been a more solid hour film: it could use some serious and judicious snipping, especially early on, such as the way-too-long scene at the river where we see someone fishing and Bigfoot finding a clown mask in the water. The film loses momentum in these moments. Also, I could have done without the lingering shots of fish being gutted and cleaned. This is the director, Erick Wofford’s first full feature film, but this is certainly a family affair as a number of the cast and crew is actually members of his clan, and I’m sure many others are friends. That’s a smart financial move and I respect that a lot. I look forward to seeing his skills grow.
Full review and trailer HERE 

 

Demented (aka The Demented)
Directed by Nigel Hartwell
This Canadian film falls well into the category of torture porn, with a supernatural touch. And in an extremely micro-budget way. Lovebirds Senica and Amanda go up to Senica’s cottage on the lake. After dropping a ring on her, they spend the night. When Senica awakes, Amanda is gone. According to a police detective (the ever-fun Felissa Rose), so are her parents. Meanwhile, somewhere there is a room where women are systematically tortured and snuffed for the Dark Web by a burly guy dressed in black, including a bullet-proof vest, and a leather hood. His voice is digitally manipulated, and honestly, I can only make out about half of what he says. We watch as he’s a-rapin’ (with his pants all the way on and her underwear intact) and a-chokin’ and a-tauntin’ his chained-to-a-bed victims. There is also some playing with time, with numerous flashbacks to various periods and present day, making the narrative timeline a bit confusing for a while. In one of these vignettes (past? present? future?), Amanda is a chainee, abused by the dark and mysterious man. Between the patterns of abuse, Amanda is visited by knowing spirits, who are helpless to aid her, but communicate quite easily. Don’t get me wrong, this supernatural element is actually what made the film for me. The violence compared to most torture porn is relatively mild and mostly threats (and yes, full-dressed rape). But the rules of the film change with Amanda. Her accomplishments are the closest this comes to empowering women. They are generally are seen as torture victims and strippers, not counting that the main authority figure is the police detective. Misogyny? Maybe, but it felt good to have these women get some of their umph back, a lot of good it will do them in the long run. There is nothing real to talk about in the blood department. There are some cheesy CGI effects at a point, but I believe it was meant to be that way. The film is overlong at 96 minutes, but there is easily quite a bit that could be excised and not lose any of the story. For example, the “torment” scenes on for what feels like a really long time of just the killer yakking away. Too many of the scenes and shots – especially the punishment ones – also just seem too “samey.” The acting is okay, though as always, Rose easily holds her own; the two main leads often don’t look like they are trying too hard. There are some really well-done shots, including some drone work, which was refreshing after some obvious green screen parts. The production pattern is a bit different. Many times, especially in the police station scenes with Rose, it is pretty obvious that – despite some similar motifs on the walls that I am pretty sure are green-screened – the detective and two of the people she is interviewing are single shots and not in the same room. It seems like those interviewed, including a porn/snuff provider, Brad (Canadian wrestling champion Bret Hart), doesn’t know which direction to look, often off to the wrong side of where the Detective would be standing. There is an almost amusing moment when we hear a character’s thinking processes, and it was obviously recorded later in a studio by how well it sounds, but also that there is a comment when the actor obviously accidentally falls during the filming, and the narration goes, “Oh, that hurt.” I am so glad they put that in. If I had my druthers, I would like to see them take this film, re-edit it or have someone other than the director do it, and see where it goes. It has some nice potential, and I would like to see that fulfilled.
Full review and trailer HERE