Review: The Horrific Evil Monsters

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2021
Images from the Internet

The Horrific Evil Monsters (aka THEM)
Directed by Adam Steigert
388 Studios; ARS Films; Macrocosm Productions
70 minutes, 2021
www.facebook.com/TheHorrificEvilMonsters

If I were to sum it up simplistically, this film is kind of The Avengers meet The Suicide Squad (yes, I understand they are competing companies and universes), mixed with Cabin in the Woods featuring a host of slasher and monster film types (but generic, off-brands). Does this intrigue you? It should. And it certainly does with me.

This takes place in the Steigert universe of Metsburgh (is it next door to Yankeeville? Sorry…), home of some of Steigert’s previous horror villains, such as in his earlier works starting in 2009, with titles like Gore, Ombis: Alien Invasion, A Grim Becoming, Fang, and the short, "Caged." This is a world of super-antiheroes, aliens, and Thanos-like creatures of enormous power, but note that I have not seen Steigert’s previous releases, so I am going into it as a new experience.

Jennie Russo

We start to meet the “bad” side first, with goddess Conquest (Jennie Russo, who was great as the lead in the underrated She Kills from 2015), and her companions, gladiator-esque War, aka Marcus (Jason John Beebe, who has also been in a bunch of James Balsamo’s releases reviewed on this site), the growly voiced Famine (Gregory Blair) and, of course, mute Death (Michael Zsiros), who seems more like a carnival barker. These four in total, are the Biblical Horsemen of the Apocalypse. And that is what they are bringing.

I’m not sure how, but a special agency of “misfits” seems to know about it coming, and their men in black led my agent Mick (Christopher Brechtel), are dedicated to bringing their strangest to fight for them. Some of the anti-heroes include silent masked killer Gore (Norman Queeno), action star Alex Creed (Bishop Stevens) and his scene-stealing erudite "Carlton"-like alien pal Obji (Will Nemi) who looks a bit like the David McCallum character from the episode “The Sixth Finger” on “The Outer Limits.” Also, snarky zombie Anna (Kaylee Williams), who seems to be in most of the publicity pix in her waitress outfit, the classic Grim Reaper (Sean Sanders) with cowl and scythe, and ex-police officer William Sanders (Michael O’Hear; I have reviewed a number of his films, d. 2020) with a secret of his own, who is sort of the van Helsing or Dr. Loomis of the Metsville universe by tracking down Gore in two previous films. Included is the mysterious Mrs. Unknown (Xia Orozco, who rocks a wicked push-up corset, sunglasses, and thick accent).

Will Nemi, Michael O'Hear

The first act is the gathering of the armies as we get to see some of the power of the Horsemen…Horsepeople?... The second act is some readjustments and the preliminary to the battle, and of course, act three is the battle proper. This is not a mega-budget release so don’t be expecting lots of CGI, green screen, and expensive effects, but rather modest SFX that work well, and are joyfully cheesy on occasion. For me, this improves the story rather than hindering it.

What matters more is the level of comedy used, which kept a smile on my face pretty consistently. It is not broad comedy, but it isn’t subtle either. It is dependent more on situations and throwaway lines (which are some of my favorites). That means it is worthwhile to pay attention, rather than just waiting for the battle, because the humor is consistent throughout and a lazy viewer should watch it a second time to get what they missed.

Bishop Stevens, Brectel, Nemi

One of the amusing elements is sometimes the very location of the scene. For example, there is a segment with the gods wreaking havoc in a Pet Store that is hysterical, especially the cashier (Taylor Martin) who deserves a nod. These are all wise choices, and the mundanity of the sites is part of what makes it so humorous. I mean, gods? In a pet food store? Cracked me up. Made me put down my game of Uno.

Pet food store: Gregory Blair, Russo, Beebe, Michael Zsiros

One of the things that went through my mind was, “how is this rag-tag group of heroes with their own weaknesses and minor powers going to take on gods?” Somehow, it all worked in a low-budget world, including the losses on all sides.

Jason John Beebe

Here are some random thoughts: there is a nice diversity among the surprisingly large cast, which is always nice to see, with the de facto lead being Stevens. War looks so classically like a shirtless Greek gladiator, I wasn’t sure if he was going to yell, “I am Spartacus,” “This is Sparta!” or start singing “Bring Me My Bride” as Miles Gloriosus. 

I really enjoy independent superhero stories, such as those on the Dark Horse or 2000AD brand comics, or films like The League ofSuperheroes (2015), or The Supers! (2017). And for some reason, independent superhero films often use a comedic tone, such as Surge of Power: Revenge of the Sequel (2016), which works for the genre. Sometimes they try to take themselves too seriously, such as Rise of the Black Cat (2014), which is also their undoing.

Be sure to stick around for the credits for additional scenes; and speaking of credits, what the hell is an “Antagonist Theory” (credited to Christopher Burns, Jr., who fills a number of crew roles)?

Christopher Brechtel, Kaylee Williams

The SFX blood and gore are kept at a minimum, to the point where there are a couple of grisly bits (mostly around Anna), and many of the other deaths are more cartoonish, which means that this is more than likely something you can watch with the family (dependent on that family’s values, of course). As a stand-alone story, this works and, actually not knowing some of the previous storylines (i.e., the William Sanders character), it actually enhances the surprise element. So, don’t let not having seen the others throw you off.  Mostly, this is a great film for a rainy afternoon with your buds, some suds, and some ‘za, in the words of that great philosopher, Stewie Griffin.