Review: Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama 2

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2023
Images from the Internet

Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama 2
Directed by Brinke Stevens
Candy Bar Productions; Full Moon Features; MVD Entertainment
62 minutes, 2022
www.FullMoonFeatures.com
www.mvdvisuals.com

The first SBitSBaR (1987) starred the holy trinity of Scream Queens (in no particular order) Brinke Stevens, Michelle Bauer, and Linnea Quigley, all in their horror prime. I saw this when it first came out on VHS when I rented it from my local store in Brooklyn, Video Video. It was a silly, hot mess, but so much fun.

Now, nearly 35 years later, comes Part Dos, directed by Brinke Stevens herself (I knew she was brilliant even in the 1980s), and in cameo roles, both herself and Bauer, with Quigley nowhere in sight except in archival footage (don’t worry, her career is still doing quite well, with the likes of 2017 Bonehill Road and 2020’s Death Drop Gorgeous; according to IMDB, there are conflicting stories both about how Quigley was not asked, and that she was going to be in it but broke her leg). This film was written by Full Moon regular, Kent Roudebush (such as the Giantess films recently reviewed elsewhere on this blog).

Katie O'Neill, Jessie Gill

We are introduced, once again, into the cleavage and spandex world of sorority Pi Epsilon Delta (as opposed to Tri-Delta in the first film), where actors play younger than their actual ages (a trope that goes back even further than 1978’s National Lampoon’s Animal House). Anyway, it is the sorority’s Pledge Night, and ringleader Sarah (Jessie Gill) and her second, Tiffany (Katie O’Neill) are corralling the new recruits, under the strict housemother, drinker Auntie Snake (Kelli Maroney, of 1984’s Night of the Comet, another ‘80s B-film classic, and more recently, 2022’s NightCaller). Auntie is the sister of Spider (Quigley, in the first film). 

As both Sarah and Auntie admit, the sorority is in rough shape, and Sarah wants to bring it “forward” to a better class (pun unintended). There are only two new recruits this year, busty Ginger (Audrey Neal) and multi-inked Devin (Hannah Tullett). We meet them all doing jazzercise in spandex one-sies, and bending over a lot. Not to mention the energetic shower scene; and let us not go into the whole whipped cream montage. Joining them late is leather jacket wearing tough girl Bitsy (Glory Rodriquez); you can tell she’s tough because she keeps throwing “the bird.” I am guessing a secret by her name (PS, I was wrong, but close).

Hannah Tullett, Audrey Neal

As in the first film, there are three doods spying on the sisters, this time via hidden cameras and computers, rather than through an open door. This brain-dead trio are Devin (Luka Parente, who does not live on the second floor, but wears a bowling shirt; I’m not sure if this was a coincidence, or a very wise in-joke), Dinger (Justin Luper), and Turkey (Nathan Blair).

Nathan Blair, Luka Parente, Justin Luper

Of course, the guys get caught and are “forced” to join the sorority to break into the same bowling alley (the real Dickey Lanes, in Cleveland, OH) from 35 years earlier. Man, these people are dumb. I mean, really dumb. The guys hold the bowling pins in front of their pants to emulate their junk, and carry two balls up to their chest to symbolize breasts (with one “motorboating”). The two original pledges accept these doofuses as potential partners, and dance around practically pushing their chests together, while the new one snarls. This is all done during a montage to ‘80s style electronic music. Oh, Brinke, you can do better. Gotta say, as the future body count, there is no one that will make the audience go, “Oh, no!”

During a catfight (of course) at about the halfway mark, a trophy is broken open and out comes our imp, the same puppet used in the first film. In the earlier incarnation, the imp’s voice is high pitched and electronically enhanced (and pre-autotune!). Now, being the son of the original imp, the vocal is deep and sounds stereotypical African-American (voiced by Derek Reid, the writer/producer/director/star of the series, “Black Spider-Man”), who starts off saying “Free at last, free at last / Satan O mighty, I’m free at last.” Oy. He sounds a bit like Audrey II (Levi Stubbs) in Little Shop of Horrors (1986).

Neal, Glory Rodriquez, Gill

As in the original release, Monsieur Imp grants wishes to “thank” the doodle brains for letting him out. but unlike the first, these wishes are given in unexpected manners, seeming taking a nod from the Wishmaster franchise (1997-2002); It does not go well, nor will I go into details. But it is funny. You may see some of the gags coming by the wording of the wishes, but still, it made me smile.

The physical effects look good, and there is a lot of CGI purple smoke and electrical energy that also is effective, especially since this is definitely going for a 1980s vibe. It is all remarkably effective.

Brinke Stevens, Michelle Bauer

There are some nice cameos by Stevens and Bauer, though it was obviously spliced in after. Still, works for the story though it is never explained why they aged if they were trapped in the bottle with the imp.

Okay, to be honest, this is some stupid, sexist stuff, but that is the demographic they are aiming for: teen boys, horny dudes, and people who joyfully remember skimming the aisles of their local video store of their youth as, well, teen boys and horny youth. It is extremely successful in that way, and if this had been released in the ‘80s, it probably would have been a huge VHS hit, that is plain and simple. I am not making any judgments on this, just stating the facts. I enjoyed these kinds of films in the ‘80s as I fit that previous demographic, and this is nicely retro and nostalgic.

I am not only glad this was directed by a woman (reminds me of Richard Pryor being a writer for 1974’s Blazing Saddles, making it possible to use some quite offensive language and actions), but one who was there in the period, so she could have a first-hand experience to make this as loyal to the time as possible. I am also grateful that this film is relatively short, so as not to over-use its topic. There is a hint, however, of a possible sequel to the sequel.

The extras on the Blu-ray are a stack of recent Full Moon trailers, and a short called "Brinke vs. the Imp" (3 min), in which the first half is Stevens discussing the poster of the original film poster when the first release was called The Imp, and the second part shows the person who was the voice of the Imp.

IMDB listing HERE

Warning: spoilers in the trailer

Review: Creature from Black Lake

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2023
Images from the Internet

Creature from Black Lake
Directed by Joy N. Houck Jr.
Howco International; Multicom; Synapse Films; MVD Entertainment
95 minutes, 1976 / 2021
www.synapsefilms.com
www.MVDVisual.com/

I remember seeing this film early on, and thinking it was silly. But I was young, and now, all these years later, I don’t really remember it much, so it will be nice to see it under my present mental state in this new widescreen 4K restoration from the original 35mm camera negative.

This was one of a bunch of either Bigfoot or woodland creatures tearing up the place and causing human deaths that were released at that time, such as The Legend of Boggy Creek (1972) and Prophesy (1979). Here, we fall closer to the Sasquatch than a mutant bear.

John David Carson, Dennis Fimple

After the intro where we see a mash-up of an attack by said creature (Roy Tatum) in a Louisiana swamp in Oil City, in Caddo parish (yes, a real place, though it was also filmed around Shreveport, 20 miles away) on a couple of fishermen, including Joe (wild eyed Jack Elam; d. 2003), and a professor in Chicago, Dr. Burch (the director, J.N. Houck Jr.; d. 2003); the latter is essentially an exposition for the viewing audience on the creature at hand. This leads to two anthropology students, comedy relief and ‘Nam vet Pahoo (toothy Dennis Fimple, who is known to the modern horror crowd as Grampa Hugo in 2002’s House of 1000 Corpses; d. 2002), and prettyboy Rives (John David Carson, who was in the underrated Pretty Maids All in a Row in 1971, and 1974’s awful incest film The Savage is Loose; d. 2009) set off to the swamps to find Joe and the monster.

The reception the two receive is not pleasant, especially by the Sherriff, Bill Carter (Bill Thurman; d. 1995). Interestingly, the two asked the locals about Joe and the monster, and you get the feeling this is being done to actual residents of the town who seem baffled, much like in the overrated The Blair Witch Project (1999).

Jim McCullough Jr., Dub Taylor

Along the way, our two intrepid Yankees meet a bunch of colorful characters, such as one of the early witnesses of the creature, Orville (writer of this film, Jim McCullough Jr.; d. 2022); his grandpa is Western film star and a semi-regular on “The Andy Griffin Show,” Dub Taylor (d. 1994). Then there are the two romantic leads for our protagonists, high school students (saywhat?!) Michelle (Michelle Willingham), and the beautiful Becky (Becky Smiser, in her only listed IMDB role). In an unintended cameo, playing a toddler Orville in a flashback, is future WCW professional wrestler Chase Tatum (d. 2008).

Throughout, there are the requisite POV shots via a handheld, shaky camera. At least it wasn’t re-colored or distorted…well, occasionally it is fuzzy, but that’s about it. We occasionally see what the Sasquatch-ish thingy observes, often through the foliage.

Carson, Becky Smiser, Fimple, Michelle Willingham

Of course, our students are going to meet up with Joe, and then the young’ns will hunt the hunter. Or, perhaps, be prey? I will not tell. My question is, if the point is repeatedly made that Pahoo is a Vietnam Veteran, why is draft resister Rives responsible for holding the rifle?

The last act as they face the upright monkey-looking Sasquatch, seen mostly in silhouette, is pretty exciting in the third act, with a bunch of jump scares and some unexpected actions. The ending, though, is a bit anti-climatic and left open for a sequel which never came. And considering most of the cast is now passed on, I doubt it is going to happen, unless there is a remake at some point (and the way Hollywood is at the moment, that is not farfetched).

Bill Thurman, Jack Elam

There is a bit of a “Dukes of Hazzard” (TV series, not the film) vibe, and also a buoyancy, that makes this watchable. It is better than I remembered, but kinda goofy at the same time. It is also a piece of its period: there is little blood and no nudity, and barely cussin’. It was rated PG (content is not recommended for viewing by people under the age of 15 without adults). However, it does have quite a bit of clever and humorous moments, though not technically a comedy. At least there are some decent jump scares.

Notable extras are a full-length audio commentary with author/filmmaker Michael Gingold (whose bibliography includes 2017's Frightfest Guide to Monster Movies) and film historian, fanzine publisher, and blogger, Chris Poggiali. they come across as likeable and occasionally humorous, and give the usual information about the making of the film, historical info on the cast and crew, and its effect on the culture of the time. "Swamp Stories" (19 min) is an all-new featurette with Dean Cundey, who waas the Director of Photography. He discusses what it was like to be shooting in a swamp after coming out from Los Angeles, how it was working with some big-name actors and the crew (such as the director), and even some Bigfoot history. Last is the original theatrical trailer and radio spot. 

Roy Tatum

The cinematography by Cundey is exceptional and, for me, one of the strongest aspects of the film. This is the kind of release that would play as a second bill at a drive-in, especially in the South. I find it amusing that it is in widescreen, but was a big hit playing on television when the medium was a box, rather than the new, rectangular screens, so it had to have been serious cropped. Glad it is back to all its widescreen glory.

IMDB listing HERE 

Review: Incarnation

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2021
Images from the Internet

Incarnation (aka Inkarnacija)
Directed by Filip KovaceJvic
Void Pictures; Jingai Films; Danse Macabre; MVD Visual
82 minutes, 2016 / 2021
www.facebook.com/filminkarnacija/
www.jingaifilms.com
www.MVDVisual.com

Time-looping has been a subgenre of its own. Sure, Groundhog Day (1993) is arguably the first that most will think of, but there is also the brilliant Kurt Vonnegut Jr. 1969 novel (and subsequent film) Slaughterhouse Five, Inoperable (2018), and arguably, in spirit, Memento (2000).

In this Serbian film (available with either subtitles or dubbed; I chose subtitles), this is neither a comedy nor a social commentary (such as in 2010’s Sprski Film), but rather an action-packed story that focuses on a man, Covek (Stojan Djordjevic, who has kind of an Elvis look to him). Without giving away too much more than the first couple of minutes, he wakes up in a busy city square on a bench, not knowing how he got there nor even his identity (shades of 1996’s The Long Kiss Goodnight and 2002’s The Bourne Identity); he does not even recognize his own reflection. But he is being chased by a group of mostly non-verbal “Men in Black” assassin types in white masks who have no fear of shooting him, nor of the collateral damage of passersby.

Stojan Djordjevic

Each time they make their mark, he reawakens on the bench, as events repeat. He must learn from each time to try to avoid his bloody fate. There is little dialogue, and Covek’s thought narration keeps the viewer in the – er – loop of his mental processes, trying to figure out just what the hell is going on. Honestly, right from the beginning, the story is intriguing, even if we are as confused as he is, which of course, is the point at this early juncture. The reason(s) they are after him escapes him and us, and why and how is time repeating?

There are clues to future events with people that keep recurring as well, such as a sanitation worker, a group of children, and a man running from a woman with a questionable paper bag. But like a flower blooming, or an ever-widening labyrinth, as Covek learns to move using previous – er – incarnations of these events, the story eventually expands beyond the city square and its surroundings, ever building upon itself and keeping it from getting monotonous, despite the purpose of it to be repetitive.

There are also little easter egg clues he discovers over time that is almost like a Mario Bros game where one picks up additional objects to further the knowledge necessary to perhaps avoid a recurring and painful fate. Is it real, or all in his mind? As much as this is an action film, there is also the psychological element that plays with reality, which ups the ante as far as I am concerned.

Most of the acting, other than the protagonist, is rightfully stoic, since the characters we see the most after Covek are the masked professional killers, so it makes sense that Covek is the one source of angst. Though we learn through the credits – or at least IMDB – Covek’s name (I wonder about the choice to reveal that in any form rather than just “The Man,” which I believe would have been a wiser choice, albeit nitpicking), we thereby know more about him simply by knowing his name, if one is inclined to do a bit of research.

Traditional European styles mixed with modern architecture are presented with some amazing visuals, as the camera uses the city as another character, including stone buildings that are on one hand possibly centuries old with modern storefronts, some dark corridors, long underground passageways, and expansive courtyards. The photography veers beautifully between the simple shots to artistic ones (mirror reflections on the eye, for example).

The most effective time skipping films keep the viewer in the perspective of the protagonist to learn as he does, which may lead to some repeat viewings to re-see the clues as they are presented. They ending caught me by surprise and is both extremely satisfying in most ways, though the question of the premise is confused to me. Multiple red herrings mixed into it add to the flavor.

It surprises me that this film is the only credit listed to the director on IMDB, because it shows a strong cinematic eye and an impassioned story by him. Regardless, this is definitely worth viewing if you like mind games, time loops, and Old-World flair.

Review: Reborn

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2020
Images from the Internet

Reborn
Directed by Julian Richards
New Normal Productions; Jinga Films; MVD Entertainment
77 minutes, 2018 / 2020
www.facebook.com/livingspacefilm/
www.mvdvisuals.com

I know I am not the only one to point this out: there is a cinematic history of shy, abused teenage women who develop some extraordinary psychic power and then go out on a killing spree like nobody’s business. Be it in Carrie (1976) or Firestarter (1984), or if you want to go to further extremes Species (1995) and Splice (2009), these women who are held in submission by society (such as bullying), a lone agent, or some governmental agency, get the chance to get even in extraordinary measures.

Barbara Crampton

As we learn from the prologue, a creepy medical examiner, Ken (Chaz Bono, in just the first of a multitude of really cool celebs that show up in either full or cameo roles), who likes to take pictures of dead, naked corpses, is alone in the morgue when a lightning storm sends feedback to the body of a stillborn baby girl, reviving her. So, what’s a lonely ME supposed to do?

Years later, after the credits, we are introduced to the leading characters. Statuesque Tess (Kayleigh Gilbert, throwing a Sarah Hyland vibe) is now 16 years old and basically a house prisoner of Ken, whom she thinks is her brother. Apparently, she is electrokinetic (has power over electricity), and manages to break free of her literal shackle to search for her birth mother.

Kaleigh Gilbert

Lena (the ever lovely Barbara Crampton with baby blues to kill for), an actress whose career is in decline and survives by teaching acting classes out of her abode, and her agent (Rae Dawn Chong, who I haven’t seen in a while), discuss a possible role with director Peter Bogdanovich (playing himself). It doesn’t take a higher degree and is made obvious early on to figure out that Lena is Tess’s mom. While Tess is searching for Lena, Lena is also searching for the infant body of Tess thanks to a suggestion from her psychiatrist (a cameo by 1960s-‘70s television icon, Monty Markham).

Tess integrates herself into Lena’s life without Lena’s awareness of who is sharing her space, though they both bond, for now. Here is where the story gets a bit emotionally complex, but I’m not going to give much of that away.

Michael Paré

Tess is not going to let anything stand in her way of getting what she wants. She was raised in a rough situation, so she has little patience nor a real sense of how to relate to people in general. But my question is, she’s 16 and in Los Angeles, so how does she manage to get around? She shows up in all these different places, but she obviously would not have learned to drive if she were shut up in a house. Also, she seems to intuitively know how to harness her powers all at once, without any real learning curve. If she could do this before, how would Ken not know it? Yeah, that’s how my mind works.

There is a decent body count as Tess either perceives wrongs (again, her sense of judgment is skewed by her past, and possibly teen hormones) or believes wrong is done to others she is trying to protect. This brings a police detective, Marc (Michael Paré, who was wonderfully stoic in Streets of Fire, and equally but deadly stoic here) into the story. How is it all the deaths caused by Tess, which occur all over the city, come to the desk of the same detective? Have they unfunded [sic] the cops in LA?

Chaz Bono

The acting, from scene to scene, is decent though sometimes over emoted (or in Paré’s case, understated), and while there are hardly any surprises in the storyline, there are actually a few decent jump scares to which are worth paying attention. It is always great to see Crampton as she is consistently a decent actor, as is true with the brief scenes with Markham and Chong.

While there isn’t a whole lot of bloodletting, as this is more personality driven, there are still a nice number of kills, as I said before. What I appreciate is that the deaths occur throughout the film, not just in the first 5 minutes and then the last 15 to 20 minutes.

Rae Dawn Chong

One might see this as a throwback to the 1980s, because it is so reminiscent of the video store style of filmmaking. It isn’t deep, but it’s not hyped up on adrenaline like a lot of the films are today with quicker edits, bodies piled on top of each other, and detailed extreme violence. This is a moody piece, and I can see how a younger generation growing up on franchises like Saw and Hostel would expect there to be some ultraviolence, but here the deaths are all character driven, not just because someone showed up at a party.

Gilbert has a good look for a movie villain. She plays mean-psycho pretty well, though also can come across as girlish and soft. Her height helps make her intimidating when need be, but she could be a contender for a future scream queen, if that’s her desire.

Monte Markham

Overall, I like the careful pacing and the characters, but for some reason the ending seemed to be truncated and went by too fast for me. There wasn’t enough time to built up some real tension. It is extremely rare for me to say this, but another five minutes of suspense at the right moment near the conclusion would have served the film well. However, I enjoyed the experience in general.

There are no extras other than chapters and stereo choices. The trailer is below (although not included on the disc), but please be warned if you watch it, it is filled with spoilers:

Review: Inbred Redneck Vampires

Text © Richard Gary/Indie Horror Films, 2018
Images from the Internet

Inbred Redneck Vampires (aka Bloodsucking Redneck Vampires)
Directed by Edward Hegg and Joe Sherlock
Sub Rosa Studios / MVD Visual
77 minutes, 2004 / 2010
www.SRSCinema.com
www.MVDvisual.com

Inbred Redneck Vampires actually began its life in 2004 under the title Bloodsucking Redneck Vampires. Huge difference, hunh?

I’m wondering if there is a future lawsuit in the making from this production, as here is the basic plot: a female vampire decides to raise an army of vampires to wipe out a threat. Did that Eclipse anyone else’s mind?

Well, although the basic storyline pastiche is the same, that is where the similarity ends, and this film is a throwback to those drive-in flicks that rarely made it up north (except perhaps at one of those theaters that was the glory of 42nd Street at Times Square, in New York, now gentrified into oblivion. But I digress…), but did so well in the Deep South, though they were usually about truckers and moonshine, rather than vampires.

This film really is a hoot. There are two plots going on, which of course will converge by the end. While the [Transylvanian?] vampire countess Catherine (Felicia Pandolfi) and her oh-so-not-smart servant / familiar (Warren E.E.B.) work on their plans to (wait for it, Pinky) take over the world, the little town of Backwash (filmed in Winlock, WA), where beer and Dixie flags are common, is slowly transformed during the height of the annual Tripe Days Festival.

This is no 2000 Maniacs, but more a dumbed down Dukes of Hazzard, and I mean that in a positive way. The protagonists of the story is the Poissier (pronounced ‘pisser”) family of Ma (Carrie Davis), sexy daughter Eva (Lindsey Hope), and dumb-as-dirt Lil’ Junior (Rob Merickel). Oh, and there’s Pa who is always off somewhere “tryin’ to read” something. Lil’ Junior (which sounds like a name from The Sopranos, even though it predates it) has a friend, little person Cletus (Bill Bradford), who is rude, crude, and always at full volume, but compared to Lil’, he’s Einstein.

Into this house comes very - er – cosmopolitan French interior designer, Jean-Claude Les Eaux (Scott Shanks), who is shocked by the state of the room he is supposed to redecorate (seems Ma won a contest from a bull inseminating magazine), which is, of course, the bathroom. Along the way, this Parisian poisson out of eau slowly but surely comes to an understanding of the town and its folks, just as they begin to “turn” into Catherine’s intended army.

But it seems Lil’ Junior ain’t the only one with the porch lights on and no one home, as, well, I don’t want to give it away. It actually is smart in its own silly way. For example, the local house of worship is the Church of St. Festus the Tipsy.

The acting is a bit, well, local theater, but the cast give it their all, and they seem to be having a lot of fun, which in turn comes across to the viewer. As with just about all indie films of this type, one has to put their reality check into a closet with Jean-Claude, and enjoy the ride. The script is actually quite witty in spots, when it’s not trying to out coarse Porky's-type material. In fact, there’s more “gross out” than gore, but I would also like to add that there was more than one time I actually had a good laugh. Intentionally.

This isn’t Scorsese (but these days is Scorsese Scorsese?), but it’s not Ed Wood, either. This is a romp, and should be seen as such. People in the south will either see this as an extension of some of the – er – southsploitation films of the ‘60s and ‘70s, or will be highly offended. Either way, we up north can laugh, and hope they’ll join in.

There is a full film commentary, lots of trailers, an amusing and relatively extensive behind-the-scenes featurette, and a decent blooper reel.

This review was originally published in FFanzeen.blogspot.com

Review: Planet of the Vampire Women

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films Blog, 2012

Images from the Internet

                            

Planet of the Vampire Women

Directed by Darin Wood           

Seminal Films, 2011                            

95 minutes, USD $19.95   

Seminalfilms.com

Planetofthevampirewomen.com

MVDvisual.com

This film reminds me of three overlapping horror and sci-fi sub-genres. The first is from the 1950’s low-budget B-line films that used laughable props and minimal sets. Some classic examples are Queen of Outer Space (1958) and Cat-Women of the Moon (1953).

The second is more of a ‘70s and ‘80s post-VHS intro of then-smoldering fantasy, like Galaxina (1980) or the British obscurity Spaced Out (1981). This was mostly fall-out from the post-Star Wars (1977) success ride-the-wave glut. These last two made John-Boy’s Battle Beyond the Stars (1980) and the original Battlestar Galactica (1978) look like Titanic (1997).

The last is from the millennium period, when a series of women-based films, often with lesbian fantasy sub-themes (though mostly watched my teen males), that took traditional storylines and changed them to fit the format, such as The Vampire’s Seduction (1998) or The Lord of the G-Strings: The Femaleship of the String (many of which starred the likes of the lovely Tina Krause and Misty Mundae).

Planet of the Vampire Women is a pleasant and quite rightfully ridiculous throwback to that style that looks like some of the cheaper sets on the first season of Star Trek, where boulders were easily identified as paper mache, clothing was tight, and creatures were either puppets or people in hairy suits. Welcome back!

You may ask yourself, “How cheap is cheap?” Well, for example, the film opens in a casino / strip joint (of course), and the liquor (opium rum) bottles are written in a strange language… in magic marker. Yep.

Our heroes, as it were, are space pirates (no, the loveable kind, not Somalian), led by Capt. Miranda Richards (Paquita Estrada; for some reason imbd.com has her listed in two films from 1934 and 1933!). Her crew robs the casino (a scene of blood and boobs, as I wrote in my notes) in a set piece that’s a tad too long, and then they tear out of there via their spaceship, which is maneuvered by a steering wheel. Did I mention the word cheap? Oh, and I don’t want to forget the bobble hula girl on the dashboard. As they zoom off, Richards officially states, “Captain’s log, star date…whatever.” I love a film that doesn’t take itself seriously, and had lots of nods to its time-binding predecessors.

All is well and good until a mysterious face in a cloud shoots a lightning bolt into the good captain’s eyes, turning her into the first of said vampires (around the 24 minute mark). This does not bode well for the rest of the crew, which includes: Astrid Covair (Stephanie Hyden), a smarter-than-she-looks “pleasure clone” who can change into any raunchy outfit (and does often) or to anyone, with a twist of her body that would make Samantha Stevens proud (one of her best lines is “I read a lot between fucking and sucking!”); the driver is Ginger Maldonado (Liesel Hanson, who ironically plays Liesel on the TV show Galen), the hardcore Tank Girl type; Pepper Vance (Ashley Marino) plays the drugged out scout; and the only male on board, Automatic Jones (Keith Letl), who is part android and most likely a nod to the various “robots” in the Alien franchise. Chasing them – and eventually joining in, of course – is lawman and Cuba Gooding Jr. lookalike, Val Falco (Jawara Duncan). You know he’s a cop because he has flashing red lights on his sunglasses; he also has one of the better recurring lines: “Now look, I’m not saying what we saw were vampires…all I’m saying is there was some kind of undead creature that was sucking the blood out of the living and shot lightning out of their eyes…”

They are all forced to land on a hostile planet filled with electrical storms and blowing dust (another Alien [1979] reference?), where they encounter – in part – a paper mache dinosaur (wisely only seen in short spurts) and digital space bugs that look like the zomBEES from auteur filmmaker Bill Zebub’s The Worst Horror Film Ever Made (2008).

Of course, this all end up back at the stripping casino (obviously shot at the same time as the opening scene) for the final battle between good and evil, living and undead.

Shot at Black Cat Studios in Sacramento, strangely, the entire film is one chapter on the DVD, so the viewer has to fast forward to wherever they left off.

Look, it is impossible to watch a film like this with the same mindset of, say, Lord of the Rings (2001) or even Me, Myself and Irene (2000). When you get down to this level, it’s a completely different semantic environment, and the rather than expecting the best and taking away points, the viewer must expect the worst and add from there. Using this paradigm, this film was sheer stupid, obnoxious, and a ton of fun. This isn’t a cinema discussion group material to discuss how it reflects to Kant, but rather you should get some bodies in the same room, turn it on, and party. You’ll groan, you’ll hoot, you’ll point out all the continuity errors and how amateurish the sets and creatures truly are. You might even be the one to say, “Man, I could do it better than that.” But most likely you won’t; rather you’ll have to settle and kvetch while getting a lot of amusement seeing this.

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/RusNM9D0_Ck" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Review: Clown Hunt

Text © Richard Gary/Indie Horror Films, 2012
Images from the Internet

Clown Hunt
Written, produced and directed by Barry Tubb
Seminal Films, 2010 / 2012
70 minutes, USD $19.95
Seminalfilms.com
Clownhunt.com
MVDvisual.com

Q: Why don’t people eat clowns?
A: They taste funny.

Actors become directors for a number a reasons. Generally speaking, and not discussing level of talent, the A-list actors have a creative need and/or can find the money because of who they are and they’ve also been paid outrageous fees for their services (e.g., George Clooney, Madonna). This becomes vanity projects for many to various levels of artistic success. For the B-list actors, it’s can be hard to have a career, so why not direct your own films as a showcase, as well as something to do while waiting for a paid part to come in. For the C- and D-list, well, most likely the only way they can find a part is DIY.


Barry Tubb as Wolfman


Barry Tubb falls directly into the B-list category. He’s been a semi-regular on a number of television fare, such as Friday Night Lights, Hill Street Blues, the Lonesome Dove franchise, and in the excellent Temple Grandin; he has been in a number of high-profile films, including Mask, The Legend of Billie Jean, and Top Gun (as Wolfman). But rather than being up where he belongs, his somewhat stalled career has led him back to his own state of Texas, and directing (as well as appearing in) his own film. This one is recorded in Tubb’s home town of Snyder, ‘bout a hundred miles southeast of Lubbock.

And what better way to get some directing steam off than with a horror comedy, such as this one? The thing about this sub-genre is it leaves lots of room for both social satire and broad comedy, and this particular release has plenty of both. In fact, it seems like it can’t make up its mind which one it should be, but to tell the truth, when you’re talking about something like clown-hunting safaris, that’s okay.

The premise is simple: a group of guys (and a cute gal who mumbles an awful lot) get together and go huntin’ for clowns in Texas. Apparently, they run in the wild, and one can obtain a license to hunt them (happy clowns only in the first week, then sad clowns after that). Of course, the real question is who is the real clown, those in make-up or these buffoons?

When the humor is at its broadest, the silliness comes out, such as having the television station reporting on the expedition be KLWN, or the hunt taking place at the Chuckle Ranch. The clowns, however, live in (as the sign states) “Giggletown, USA.” Sometimes, there are actual jokes, such as the one at the start of the review (which is said twice), or someone asking what were Elvis’ last words, being “Corn? I don’t remember corn.” But sometimes it’s quite witty, such as a bumper sticker that reads “Got Clown?” or the clowns pooping jelly beans. One of my favorites (and also repeated more than once) is the mention of the clown hunting magazine, Big Shoes Big Guns.

As for the social commentary, well, sometimes I wasn’t sure if it was making fun of things like the huntin’ mindset (as stand-up comic Eddie Strange once pointed out, is different than “hunting”), racism (“they don’t want to be called clowns anymore, they want to be called Comical-Americans”; or one of the characters being a “closet clown”), Texan fear of socialism (mocking of the Austin Communist Nation newspaper, where out of context one of the hunters shoots the movie critic, surely a personal wink-wink of Tubb’s), or social activism (protestors have signs like “Hunt Clouds Not Clowns” and “Save the Sillies”). For the latter, I was expecting some kind of PETA-style acronym, like “Clean Land of Wandering Ninnies.”

A sort of subtle possible nod at that huntin’ mentality, at least for me, is when the hunters shoot up an outhouse. I’m not sure if this is a regular southern thing, being the Yank that I am, but I do remember driving along Skyline Drive, in the mountains of western Virginia, and nervously seeing the door of a woman’s outhouse at a rest stop full of buckshot.

Another inconsistency is the clowns themselves. Sometimes they are seen as freewheelin’ and carefree (and apparently horny), and at other times conniving and intelligent, such as the mastermind Albino Willie (any reference to Texas’ own Winter brothers?; Willie, who is played by Trick Kelly, also acts as the lead sad clown). Apparently, none of them can talk and most just wander around like the humans in the first Planet of the Apes (it would not surprise me if that was the reference).

While there are lots of shootings in the film, there is very little blood or gore. Most of the hits are in the distance, but if someone is shot in the head, for example, there’s just a smudge at the entry site. In this frame of reference, this is a comedy rather than a Texas Chainsaw Massacre… come to think of it, that film was actually not very bloody either, if you look at it again, but was certainly a lot more gruesome than this one. Also, there is no real nudity to talk of, despite the three sex scenes, including the rape of a hunter by Albino Willie, played for laughs. Another moment is the less-than-subtle homo-erotic skivvy-donned male hunters who mud wrestle.

Despite all the groaners, this is a fun distraction that can appeal on a number of levels. Of course, if you have Coulrophobia (the fear of clowns) there are also two ways this can be taken: either it will be a joy to see clowns being killed, or, well, there are many, many clowns!. You’ll have to let me know which side of the coin you fall on in this situation.

The acting level is pretty good for an indie film, including a cameo by fellow one-time Patrick Swayze look-alike, B-to-C-actor David Keith. There’s definitely some scenery chewing, but nothing on a John Lithgow sit-com ac-ting level.

There are only two things that actually annoyed me about the film. First, and the least of the two, is the really bad rap song, “Killin Clowns” by Lil Endnz, which is played during the credits. Even for a rap song, it’s pretty awful. One would think that since we’re dealing with some good-ole-boys, there would be a bad country tune instead. The second is the very end shot, which makes no sense to me. Perhaps it is a reference to freedom? Freedom lost? I’m not sure, but I’m not going to go into detail and ruin it. ‘Nuff said.

The only extra is a “Slideshow” of behind-the-scenes stills from the filming. A commentary track by Tubb to explain his motivation of how to look at the social context would have been appreciated, or even including the trailer.

Still, this was a nice job. Not Clooney or Eastwood level, but a fun project nonetheless, surpassing other comedy horror films I’ve seen lately, such as ThanksKilling. An enjoyable diversion on a rainy weekend afternoon that is worth a giggle.


Bonus Video (A film by Trick Kelly, who also plays this character in Clown Hunt, as well as the lead anti-hero, Albino Willie):