Review: On the Trail of UFOs: Dark Sky

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2021
Images from the Internet

On the Trail of UFOs: Dark Sky
Directed by Seth Breedlove
Small Town Monsters; 1091 Pictures
85 minutes, 2021
www.smalltownmonsterss.com

They say when you are passionate about something, you don’t have a job. Or something like that. Seth Breedlove and his Small Town Monsters (SMT) company are spearheading a movement on the questionable: Bigfoot, the Momo, and a host of other cryptid creatures. For this documentary, he both goes out of his – er – orbit of “natural” Earth monsters, and looks up at the stars. But from the perspective of being very on the ground.

Over time, Breedlove has gone from films that are mostly documentaries and part re-enactments, to being the point of focus leading the expedition. This makes sense in the world of Covid, keeping it close and personal as much as possible.

Not counting claims of Aliens visiting Ancient Egypt (and helping to build the pyramids? Really?) or Latin America thousands of years ago (if you want a laugh, check out the 1968 book Chariots of the Gods?, by Erick von Damien), UFO sighting claims are actually relatively recent in the United States, dating back to around the Second World War. Though most of the creatures Breedlove has focused on have been around a bit longer than that, the explosion of Alien contact is fully national, rather than isolated segments of the country (for example, as Breedlove’s previous docu showed how the Adirondacks are a focus of detections, rather than, say, Taos, AZ).

Seth Breedlove and Shannon Legro

That being said, Breedlove is joined in this quest by paranormal researcher and author Shannon Legro, who has her own podcast called Into the Fray Radio. She leads the questioning of the people who are claiming sightings. They start off, in this case, in West Virginia, where an older man describes a sighting he had when he was 10 years old. From there, they mostly focus their travels investigating and interviewing around West Virginia with a quick boo northwest into Ohio (STM is based near Akron, OH). I think it is really smart to keep the focus small and concentrate on one relatively small area (i.e., a state) than nationally, or even globally. Especially in these pandemic days.

The film, which is based on a television show by the same name (2020), also wisely manages to bring in some references to the meat of STM concentrations by noting that West Virginia is also the area of the infamous Mothman, and a few interviewed mentions it directly. But there are other weirdness and cryptids mentioned, such as an alien from a crashed UFO, the Green Monster of Flatwoods, WV, which has a museum dedicated to it in that town, and a whole section of the mysterious Men in Black, who may be military, or possibly otherworldly. There are even some paranormal investigators thrown in to help search for information.

Are the Aliens interested in the military which has numerous bases there, power sources of West Virginia such as coal mines, electrical grids and nuclear plants, or the many factories that built them (e.g., Nitroglycerine for TNT came from the WV town of Nitro)? Or perhaps, and for me this is one of the weakest arguments, do they use the coal shafts and caves to travel to a “hollow earth”? It’s all good fun, anyway.

I find it interesting that the crafts all are different shapes. One investigator comments that most are saucer shapes with lights, but the descriptions are numerous, including triangular or other forms. Perhaps they are from different civilizations, or may be built by billionaires on other planets? Okay, the last sentence was totally me. But I mean the first part of that sentence, which I have not seen questioned before.

The film is bolstered by some incredibly well-done animations and re-creations, as well as some possible images of real sightings. There are also various 1950s film clips that I enjoyed, such as ones from Earth vs. the Flying Saucers (1956; thank you, public domain).

Legro, who also presents the television version, is a good host, and she certainly does the job well. On occasion, though, she seems a bit stiff when reading the narration. She is stoic quite a bit, so the parts where she gets excited really liven it up, such as in the last section. I will acknowledge that it is a fine line when interviewing not to take away from the person who is talking, and when dealing with non-professional talkers, this can be challenging; and she does this quite well. Breedlove, who spearheaded the previous On the Trail of Bigfoot (2021, reviewed HERE), wisely takes a back seat to Legro, and lets her get to work, chirping in with his questions just at the right time.

When dealing with the topics of great mysteries like the supernatural, cryptids, and/or Aliens, there are two aspects to keep in mind. The first is whether or not they actually find one in their search. That is certainly one of the reasons why we watch these documentaries. The second is that usually, you know you are going to be left unfulfilled, like this is the appetizer (questions) without an entrée (answers), but the smells are so good in the restaurant (the program) that you just do not care. That is the ultimate goal for both the program and the viewer.

Breedlove’s documentaries that I have seen, and there have been a few now, have never disappointed, and I always look forward to them. UFO documentaries are pretty much a dime a dozen, but the way he ties in the cryptid connections makes this stand out some from the others, and for that I am grateful.

 

Review: It Wants Blood

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2021
Images from the Internet

It Wants Blood
Directed by James Balsamo
Acid Bath Productions
103 minutes, 2021
https://www.facebook.com/It-wants-Blood-2242376705997870

Yeah, super-prolific feature director and writer James Balsamo is about to drop another one, and I am so looking forward to it, as always. Let’s strap this on and move forward without further delay.

I am fond of Balsamo’s comedic formula, as I have said before, which is no exception here. His films, while mostly narrative, are also a collection of set pieces strung together, this time with more coherency than some of his other works. A grateful reviewer thanks you. There is also lots of blood (well, it is in the title, after all), gore, and naked women. There is also Balsamo’s voiceover, which starts as exposition; this lets the viewer know what his character, Phil Blunt, who has no moral compass as always, is thinking.

After a couple of prologues, including one that gives a nod to Green Inferno (2013), we meet Phil, whose job is to dig dirt on political opponents. Like I said, zero moral compass. I’m not sure if his last name is symbolic for his approach to life, or what he smokes. Knowing Balsamo, probably both. What I do know is just about all of Balsamo’s characters are the same, much like Abbott and Costello, or Laurel and Hardy: no matter what the role, it’s essentially the identical character. I am very okay with that.

Eric Roberts

Essentially, though, this is a story about two rival families, the Montagues and the Cap… oh, wait, I mean Senator Du Sang (a frail and exhausted looking Eric Roberts who spends most of the film in a lounging chair) and his bloodthirsty monster, and his philandering political rival Bruno Bastine III (Bill Victor Arucan) and his gore munching creature. Maybe it should have been called “They” Want Blood?

On the Du Sang side, there is spoiled rich girl daughter Julie (Mikaela Moody), Madame Du Sang (Ola Ray, infamous as Michael Jackson’s “girlfriend” in the “Thriller” video; this is her first role in 20 years), and his bro-bro, Victor (Steve Railsback, who starred in the infamous 1985 Lifeforce, and as Chuck Manson in 1976’s Helter Skelter). Their monster, the Nodoto, looks really cool, like a tusked elephant with bat wings for ears, its trunk has a snake like end, and its head has a gaping vertical mouth. It is kept in Du Sang’s wine cellar (which seems to be his backyard).

Notodo

On the Bastine lineup, there is his busty wife Delilah (Amy Dumas, professional wrestler who goes by Lita). His big troll-headed flying dragon creature, the Zawazo, hangs out in the back yard by the pool, munching on whomever comes by, whether it is by invitation or not.

Both of these monstrosities are supposed to give power for the upcoming election, promising power and fame. Both politicians are going to need it. The Bastine side is pretty incompetent, and Du Sang is, well, let us just say he has Republican tendencies.

Zawazo

It’s not surprising that Balsamo would come up with a narrative around elections, with the political climate of the last couple of years. It’s a dog-eat-dog scene, or in this case, Zawazo-eat Nodoto-world. As each politico struggles for power, the more gore the monsters get to feed upon.

While I am at this point, let me ‘splain about the creatures. First of all, they look amazing. There are, it seems to me, three different versions of them. First, there is the full-sized puppets, which are my favorites. Then, there is the hand-puppets (essentially, the close-ups of the snake-snout), and third, there is the models that are used for pixilation (aka stop-motion photography, for those who don’t know about the likes of Ray Harryhausen). All three were very impressive works for the film’s overall budget that I imagine.

Amy "Lita" Dumas

And speaking of bodies, there are a lot of them, from bloody parts being flung or lying on the ground, to complete ones unclothed (most of them having sex with Blunt, of course…hey, if I were a director, that might be the route I would go). What I really like about this, for all those who are going to cry sexism since the only fully nudes seen are female, Balsamo does not go for a ”type,” but rather all are welcome. Some of the women are thin and others are chunky. If you’re expecting all ‘80s-VHS style model shower scenes, you’re in the wrong place. However, if you want some reality within your frame of beauty, this is the place for it, tatts and all.

As always, there are dozens of cameos, such as by Brinke Stevens, Felissa Rose, Joe Estevez, and Eileen Dietz (aka Pazuzu from The Exorcist, 1973). Many of them are musicians of death metal bands that I really don’t know, but most are people who have made a mark somewhere along the way, like Craig Muckler, co-writer and producer of The Microwave Massacre (1979).

James Balsamo

There is one subtle shift in many of the cameos from previous Balsamo films: usually, the actor or musician would often be shot in an alley or a street (during a convention), saying nasty things about Balsamo’s character (remember, no moral compass). In this case, they are in Public Service Announcements (PSAs) putting down Senator Du Sang. This is a nice change.

What is consistent with just about all of Balsamo’s releases is that it is funny, from beginning to end. The humor is a mix of broad jokes and, if it’s the Balsamo character, it is puns. One of his jokes is based on a Dom Irrera line about “Italian School,” that had me laughing.

I say this every time, but it bears repeating. If you’re looking for perfection, you’ve come to the wrong place. There are continuity issues (the sound changes within a single scene, for example), the acting is often questionable, and the writing is just plain silly. But here is the thing, and it is an important one, if you’re looking to just enjoy yourself and escape from the shitshow that is current politics, sit right down, and have a blast.

I love that the film was dedicated to the late, great Carmine Capobianco (d. January 2021). While I never met the man personally, I have long admired his work, especially in this millennium, such as Model Hunger (2016) and The Sins of Dracula (2014), along with a host of Balsamo’s releases (they are from the same neck of Long Island). Honestly, I can say that I have never heard anyone say a negative thing about him.

And speaking of prolific, it seems Balsamo is also in post-production with his next two features, 14 Ghosts and the sci-fi Alien Danger! With Raven Van Slender. Sad thing is, now I gotta wait.

Trailer is HERE 

Review: Badass Monster Killer

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2017

Images from the Internet

Badass Monster Killer

Written and directed by Darin Wood

TFO Productions / Wildeye Releasing / MVD Video

96 minutes, 2015 / 2017

www.badassmonsterkiller.com

www.wildeyereleasing.com

www.mvdvisual.com

After watching this enjoyable spoof/nod to the exploitation / Blaxploitation / sexploitation genres, I had an interesting discussion with a friend while I was trying to explain the basic premise to someone who (a) has not seen the film, and (b) not really into the styles it’s based upon. He said that if a film is purposefully over-the-top, then it loses its association with others that are unintentionally so-bad-they’re-good. My response was that it depends on the attitude of the secondary feature. If it is trying too hard to the point of where it becomes something else, and it becomes so-bad-its-bad, yes, I agree. This is true of films like A Haunted House [2013], or the likes of Vampires Suck [2010]. But there is a fine line where it works, such as Richard Griffin’s Seven Dorms of Death [2016], or this one.

This picture is from the director whose last release was The Planet of the Vampire Women [2011], which was a nod to ‘50s sci-fi (e.g., Queen of Outer Space in 1958) mixed with ‘70s sex sci-fi (such as Spaced Out in 1979). Now, he’s delved a bit deeper, and come up with a fine mashup that is both head scratching WTF? and laugh-out-loud Say What? As I proceed through the review, I will delve a bit into its references.

Amelia Belle and Jawara Duncan

The basic premise revolves around a hyper-cool brother who is a police officer for the Department of Supernatural Security named Jimmy Chevelle (Jawara Duncan). Did I mention this takes place in Camarotown? Anyway, along the way he meets women who fall for him and become sort of an army. Most reviews claim this is based on the Blaxploitation style of Shaft [1971]; early on, we even see the Loveshaft Hotel in the background. To be fair, this could also be a reference to H.P. Lovecraft, as this takes place in his mythos with references to Cthulhu and the Great Old Ones. Or, this is strange enough that the hotel name actually be a cross between both. But more than Shaft, I would posit that it’s closer to Dolemite [1975], and the better for it.

His subject of investigation is a sect that wants to bring back said Great Old Ones via weed that makes you susceptible to them (a motif also used in Todd Sheet’s Dreaming Purple Neon). Heading this group of miscreants is Reverend Dellamorte (Ryan Cicak), a goateed white guy with a thick southern accent – fighting the black guy…get it? – and wearing what I think is a full-length, sleeveless black leather dress. Now, to be fair, his gang of goof-ups include Latinos and African-Americans, so I’m not sure if my mind is interpreting more than I’m seeing. Still, it works for me, even with that inconsistency.

The dialog is hysterical, and occasionally repetitious, in a running gag form (Wood did a similar thing, also successfully, in his previous film around the term “vampire”). The word diabolical, for example, may be in every other sentence. Duncan is really good at spitting out strings of script in an amusing way, making it not feel repetitive as much as humorous. For example, every time he meets a woman who is in danger, he says to her, “Take it easy baby, I’ve got everything under control. Listen ‘cause I’m only gonna say this once: I work for a very top secret branch of the government that exists to do battle with supernatural, diabolical forces that most people don’t even know exist. Now, if you’re cool with that, later maybe you and me can get it together, but right now I got business.” This inevitably leads to a kiss between them before he fights whatever is the threat.

There is a lot of good writing and fine Dolemite-like moments. For example, when some guy is in the street screaming hysterically, Chevelle snarks to him, “What the fuck is the matter with you? Hunh? I’m in there trying to come up with the plan of how to keep the Earth from being enslaved by fucked up creatures from beyond and shit. How’s a brother supposed to concentrate with you out here screaming like a bitch!? Don’t make me beat yo ass!”

In case you’re wondering, I’m actually not giving away too much because there are a lot quotes that could be used as examples.

Another incorrect comparison, in my opinion, is to the film Sin City [2005], since nearly all of Badass is shot in green screen (other than two solid sets), with all the buildings and other objects leaning towards the center. This is more reminiscent of the work of Jimmy ScreamerClauz. If I may digress for a sec, check out some of the signs in the background for a laugh, such as Arkham Sam’s Liquors. So, back to the background art: I can understand the comparison, but it doesn’t hold up for me. Sin City was like a comic book, while this is more cartoon. Okay, another way to phrase it might be the latter is more Wally Wood, while this is more Basil Worthington. Both films take place in a world that couldn’t exist in real life, but SC went for more realism; BMK isn’t interested in any form of reality, it’s nearly surrealistic.

Which brings me to the monsters. Each one looks fake as can be, with cheesy digi-art or rubber limbs when they interact with the actors. They also look silly, again like something from the mind of Worthington. But in this context, they are fun to watch, like bad stop-motion. I mean, they’re right up there with the creatures from The Giant Claw (1957) or From Hell It Came (also ’57). In this completely produced and processed world, I thought the monsters were smile-worthy rather than cringe-.

As for the music by Phillip Baldwin, it’s a nice mix of funk and ‘70s porno chic-a-wah-wah, but if you listen carefully, the lyrics are exactly matching what is happening on the screen. It’s hysterical and incredibly well done.

One might expect – and one would be right – that the acting is a tad over the top. And again, it works here. It’s not so broad that it becomes as cartoonish as the backdrop, but it’s definitely what I call the John-Lithgow-on-a-sitcom level. As I said, Duncan is perfect in the role, able to handle both the smolder and the sass (and afro) to just the right tone for the film. Sometimes Cicak is a bit too Snidely Whiplash, but I understand it. I was almost expecting him to literally say, “Mwah-ha-ha!”

Most of the cast is female (not a complaint), though a majority seem to be strippers, hookers, a crime boss named Lola Maldonado (Amelia Belle; Maldonado is also a surname used in his previous film), and cops. For me, a standout was the Liz Clare, who has done some strong work in other productions, as well.

The Army of Foxes

A chunk of the action takes place in a strip joint, and even beyond that there is dancing, lots and lots of go-go style dancing. You see a street? There are women dancing in the shot. As overtly macho as the men are, most of the women need to be rescued until Chevelle trains them into an army of “foxes” (one black, one Latina, one white). Other than Chevelle’s boss, an exception is Maldonado, who is strong and smoldering from the beginning, but still has trouble resisting Chevelle’s funk-a-wonk-a-wong-wong mojo. This theme does feel a bit like Sin City to be honest.

The first extra is a 6:23 Deleted Scenes that were rightfully taken out, though most of it is related to the infected pot theme that doesn’t go anywhere in the story anyway. However, it is interesting to see the green screen sets to realize how much work went into the background. This is followed by a 14:40 onstage Q&A at a showing during the H.P. Lovecraft Film Festival. It consists of a few of the crew, including Wood, and some of the cast, specifically Duncan and Cicak. The sound is kinda fuzzy, seemingly recorded on a cell phone, so it picks up the fuzz from ambient room echo. Still, the info given is worth the listen. The last two extras are versions of the trailer.

I have no idea of H.P. Lovecraft had a sense of humor, but if he did, he would have gotten a hoot outta this, especially the battle of good vs. evil at the conclusion. How long this review is just an indication of how much I enjoyed it.

Review: Wolf House

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2017

Images from the Internet; live photo by Michael O'Hear

Wolf House

Directed by Matt D. Lord

White Lion Studios / Wild Eye Releasing / MVD Visual

69 minutes, 2016 / 2017

www.wildeyereleasing.com  

www.mvdvisual.com

There’s nothing like a nice creature feature to sink one’s teeth into on a cold winter night, right? It’s -10F outside right now (serious), so I’m curled up in bed and about to watch what I’m hoping will happily mix with my hot chocolate and marshmallows and go down smoothly. Electric blankie? On! Pillows propped? Soft and supportive. Remote in hand? And… away we go!

Gotta say, in the first few minutes I’m getting a worrisome feeling. This is one of those “Six kids go to the woods and were never heard from again” found footage things. People are still making these? Please, let me be wrong. After all, I’m at less than 4 minutes so far.

The film takes place in a real location, Hartland, NY, which is somewhat close to Niagara Falls and Lake Erie (or maybe that should that be Lake Eeeeeerie…whooooo… Okay, I kid. Now back to the review).

These six people who go to the Wolf Cabin contain two couples, and their two male friends. As in similar films, we get to see them be asses to each other in “bro” moments – especially picking on one of them – for about half the film that is supposed to be the audience getting to know the characters. Continuing with the lowest common denominator, all we get to know is that we wouldn’t want most of these people in our lives if they treat their friends this way. Okay, I’ve been brutal with my pals, they’ve been that way with me (it’s a Brooklyn thing), but not to this level. Or maybe I’m older now I don’t remember it as it was, that could be true, too. Either way, other than them being childhood friends and their girlfriends; that about all we get to know about this group, so the opening 20 minutes are essentially very bad home movies. This last trope is quite common in found footage films.

After shooting some bigfoot kind of creature outside the cabin, they take the carcass to one of their homes in the ‘burbs. There, it revives and its scent attracts all different sorts of creatures from the woods, such as dog-like things and men with no eyes. It doesn’t really make much sense, but by this time I was so happy to see some action I was willing to let it go. Besides, the creatures looked pretty cool for a low budgeter like this. More on that shortly.

The crew gets taken out one by one through means of lurking creatures while the rest go running around with their cameras on willy-nilly, quite often focusing on the ground or their feet. And yes, there is the much-used scene where someone takes a selfie and says a sniffling goodbye to their family, a paradigm started by The Blair Witch Project (1999), I believe.

If you turn on the film at about 22 minutes in, you’ll see a much better – albeit shorter – movie, but you won’t really lose all that much in characterization. The action definitely picks up when they bring the whatever-it-is back to town, and the creature besieging begins. My guess is that most of the humanoid thingies are either Native Americans or their spirits (only one woman speaks briefly, in another tongue). What makes me think this is the location and the face paint. They don’t, however, have the facial features usually associated with Indigenous Peoples (I’m guessing Mohawk for that neck of the woods?), and I kept wondering if this might be seen as appropriation. Now, a film like this probably should be more suspenseful and not give the viewer room to reminisce on these kinds of questions. I should add at this point that one of the actors, Rick Williams, is First Nation, and even has a ‘Hawk hairstyle.

The big dog/wolf creature is interesting and decently done (a long extra is included about its creation), though it’s obviously a person in a costume, but it reminds me of the cow from the play version of Into the Woods, using stilts and outer skin. From what the commentary says, it took up a chunk of the film’s $5,000 budget, and I believe it.

Another nice feature is the occasional inlay camera work where you see the main action, with a smaller inset of another room being filmed as creepy things happen there. This was a nice touch. The other thing I appreciated is that the actors did well sounding scared, and moved somewhat reasonably realistically in that agitated state. I just wish I could have cared more about them.

Part of the bigger issue is that there is no explanation about the creatures, or especially the humanoid ones, like where they come from. Are they human or not? A combination? Some come and go in a second, and others seem to be able to be killed. I mean, it’s pretty obvious they are there because they followed the people home. Now, while these creatures are roaming around outside, doesn’t any of the neighbors notice that there are huge, hairy things with glowing roaming around? There is some discussion about this during the commentary track, but the mix of natural and supernatural throws me.

One of my ideas of a missed opportunity is the lack of using the incessant tormenting of the nerdish guy by the others at the conclusion. I would have liked to see maybe him conspiring with the visitors to get rid of the others in anger and shame (and perhaps pay for that at the end).

Marcus Ganci-Rotella, Matt D. Lord, Ken Cosentino and Liz Houlihan
at the Buffalo Dreams Fantastic Film Festival; pic by Michael O'Hear

On a positive note, the interspersing at the end of the horrors of the night and footage shot before when they were a relatively merry group is a nice touch, as is the photo memorial near the credits. It should be noted that this film did get some strong and positive reviews, and was selected at the Buffalo Dreams Fantastic Film Festival, so don’t only go by me, please.

There are four extras here, including the trailer to this and two other found footage films. The 22-minute Making of Featurette is honestly not very interesting, showing the group filming mostly a particular scene, but it’s a bit too loose, in a found footage kinda way. There’s very little structure to tell you what is happening. That being said, there are some good moments here and there, lasting about 5 minutes overall interspersed throughout. The Making of the Monster is 1 hour/25 minutes! It’s essentially a step-by-step tutorial by Ken Costentino, who is an also an actor in the film, co-writer, and Director of Photography. Honestly, it was somewhat interesting, but I just didn’t have the time to sit through that much. If you are interested in a career in practical SFX, you may want to pay more attention than I did.

The last is the commentary, with Costentino, and two other actors, Marcus Ganci-Rotella (the picked-on guy), and Elizabeth Houlihan (the other co-writer), which is decent. They tell anecdotes while not stepping all over each other. There is nothing deep discussed, such as motivation or meanings, but they do give the impression that they mostly had good experience making the film.

Seriously, if you’re going to be making a found footage film by this late point in the trajectory, where it has become so commonplace, please try and do something more original. If you are going to do a home movies style beginning, there should be some interesting things happen rather than a bunch of tools tooling around in front of the camera. Let us know about some motivations, some history, something to latch onto to care about. This is especially true if it’s going to be a “never seen again” story where you know everyone is going to die. I really don’t mind if they do, but you’re projecting a final scenario that comes as no surprise, it cuts down on the suspense element.

Review: Creature from the Hillbilly Lagoon

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2016

Images from the Internet

Creature from the Hillbilly Lagoon (aka Seepage!)

Directed and edited by Richard Griffin

Scorpio Films Releasing

90 minutes / 2005

The film can be seen HERE. 

There are so many genres and subgenres that it is interesting to look at them over time. For example, there was and is plenty of Hillbilly stuff, especially in the 1970s. Hell, even Opie (aka Ron Howard) started by directing in that field (for Roger Corman) with Grand Theft Auto (1977); and Burt Reynold’s whole beginning oeuvre was steeped in it.

Redneck horror is also a sub-subgenre, with the likes of Redneck Zombies (1989), Bloodsucking Redneck Vampires (2004), I Spit Chew on Your Grave (2008), The Legend of the Hillbilly Butcher, and the short-film compilation The Hillbilly Horror Show, Vol. 1 (2014), to name just a small amount.

But there is also a horny human-like fish-monster subgenre as well, with the likes of Creature from the Black Lagoon (1954, for which this film is named), The Horror of Party Beach (1964), and Humanoids from the Deep (1980; remade in 1996). Yes, I’ve seen nearly every one of those I’ve mentioned in the last two paragraphs, I’m proud to say.

                                                                                          

Most of the films I’ve cited, with rare exceptions, are either comedies or unintentionally funny in a campy way (e.g., Humanoids…). But beyond humorous, they tend to be outrageously so, because if you mock someone’s culture, such as the white Deep South, you better make it obvious that it is poking an elbow rather than pointing a finger, if you want to keep your audience (commented on, somewhat, in the 2014 Bigfoot film, Stomping Ground). This is in the same way that films like Car Wash (1976) or Beauty Shop (2005) are presented, with over-the-top stereotypical characters that are broad enough that many can identify with and mock, rather than are being mocked directly (again, socially commented on in Spike Lee’s 2000 social commentary, Bamboozled).

But I suppose that I should start talking about the film at hand, shouldn’t I? Despite it being filmed in Connecticut (except for a coda scene in Rhode Island), director Richard Griffin tackles the Redneck/Horny Man-Fish genres by wisely combining them into an outrageous and profane comedy Seth Rogan would probably kill to be able to do adequately (he would fail, though still attract an audience for some reason). The acting is wooden, as usually is in backwoods low-comedy style, but nowhere near as forceful and purposefully as it is in his last film, Seven Dorms of Death (2016). Considering the decade-plus time difference of release, it’s interesting to compare them, but I’m jumping ahead of myself.

Hillbillies gone huntin'

In a bayou area of the Deep South, the trope of spilling toxic chemicals (e.g., 2007’s Wasting Away [aka Ahh!! Zombies!] and 2011’s Exit 101) into the water is used to produce a hybrid human-fish (that is, man-into-fish, not fish-into-man, or in today’s terminology, perhaps M2F[ish]). This brings four factions contentiously colliding together: (a) a group of young science students who are doing tests on the water (yet still skinny-dip in it); (b) a gaggle of rednecks (two are named Bubba and Cooter) out huntin’, (c) the hitmen from a pharma company responsible for the dumping who are trying to keep it all contained by trying to kill everyone involved (as a reference point, there is The Crazies, both in 1973 and 2010); and (d) the mutant/mutating fish people who have a hunger for human flesh, of course.

There is certainly a – er – certain level a cheesiness present, such as there always seems to be some fog around as people are skulking about, even in a basement. Also, a hillneck (redbilly?) gal in classic daisy dukes and a red checkered Italian restaurant tablecloth design top tied in front falls for a mutant-to-be, a student ends up being an escapee from the evil corporation, and there are hair curlers, beers, and white hazmat suits, along with nudity and lots of decent gore, giving an overall nice scaly shine.

The creatures are definitely a guy(s) in rubber suits – and considering you never see more than one of the monsters at a time, I guessing the same suit – but actually it looks pretty decent for its budget, and I was impressed by them. Truthfully, it looks better than many I’ve seen on shoots with a much larger financial backing.

If you’re not used to these kinds of films, the dialogue may sound a bit, well, stupid, but if you listen carefully with heavy dose of humor, it’s hysterical. For example, when one character sees the dead body of someone he knows, he yells, “Fuck me sideways! Noooooo!” There are also a lot of racial and ethnic comments, and including pointed towards the LGBTQQ+ demographic. This is, however, meant more to shine on the fallibilities of those who are homophobic rather than promoting it.

It’s interesting to see one of Richard Griffin’s earliest releases (which I haven’t seen many) and compare them with his latest (of which I have viewed a few). In this one, it was before he had his revolving company of actors and crew that show up in many/most of the later works. No Michael Thurber, no Sarah Nicklin or Michael Reed, and especially no cinematography by Jill Poisson. His later works have a “look” that this one does not. That’s not to say this film doesn’t look great, because it does, it’s just… different. Good different.

Over the years, there is more confidence built into a final product, and this one is definitely a growth work. What I mean by that is as one learns a craft, one gets better at it (one would hope), and not just in directorial skill, but in fashioning one’s own style and look. On one hand, I think I would say that this looks like a beginning film (it was his fourth) that one learns what’s possible and how to do things more efficiently and effectively. That being said, even with that, it’s actually above most early works of some bigger names (so far). I mean, compare Tarantino’s Reservoir Dogs (1993) with The H8ful Eight (2016), or Cronenberg’s Rabid (1977) with Eastern Promises (2007). The viewer can see the skill set growth comparing them. The spark is definitely there, as it is here, but the early films have a certain clunkiness to them compared to their more advanced counterparts. There is certainly a clunky, amateurishness to this one, but it definitely has that umph that would make Griffin so good at what he does.

Review: Slimy Little Bastards

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2015

Images from the Internet

 

Slimy Little Bastards

Written and directed by Dave Parker

66 minutes, 2015

www.facebook.com/SlimyLittleBastards

 

I’ve never met Dave Parker, haven’t even had a real conversation with him online. However, I am still impressed by his progress in the genre. He started out (and continues in this capacity) as a video review vlogger under the name of MrParka (yes, one word, and worth checking out). Then he started acting (e.g., Bath Salt Zombies [2013] and Headless [2015]), and now he’s directed his first – er – filmella… so what do you call a film that is longer than a “short” but shorter than a feature? I just adopted the “novella” to film terms. No big whoop.

 

Anyway, for his first shot at fictional directing (he also directed a documentary short), it only makes sense that (a) it’s in the horror genre, and (b) he has people around him he’s been working with for a while, such as director/actor/SFX maven/puppeteer Mills, and actors Erin R. Ryan and Brandon Salkil. Wise move, m’man.

 

So, if you have watched hundreds of indie horror films every year, seeing some of the best and the worst, and you decided to hop on the wagon yourself, what would you decide to choose as your topic? Cleverly, Parker chose the anthology.

 

Brandon Salkil

The three stories have a wrap-around in the basement of a mysterious man in a red cape (Cary Ewell look-alike Salkil). He receives a shipment of three vials with, well, slimy things (looks like Jell-O). Y’see, he’s a collector of “rare creatures,” such as the (puppet) Nippler, who is somewhat reminiscent of the Scred puppet from early Saturday Night Live. He tells these tales to a gun-toting mysterious man (Keith Voight Jr.) who claiming his car broke down. Salkil chews more scenery than the slimy bastards munch on humans, but actually, that’s the role, and Salkil kills it with a humorous turn. I’ve seen him do some serious stuff (e.g., Skinless [2013]) and the man can act. Here, he ahcts!

 

First up is “Organic Shit,” about a shy, hungry man (Jeremy Ryan) who doesn’t talk and moves very precisely (autistic?). His apartment (I am going to assume its Parkers’ in real life as it is filled with DVDs; it is used in all three stories), after coming back from I’m presuming work, he has some strange green stuff coming out of his drain. He contacts the maintenance man (Mills) with a very funny and fake Russian?/Polish? accent. If you’ve seen the Blob, you may get some idea of the germination of this story. However, even with a few actual jump scares, it ends quite humorously (don’t worry, I won’t give it away), and definitely not how I expected.

 

Erin R. Ryan

The second tale is of the blue Jell-O, called “Brain Busters.” Poor Sandy (the underrated Erin R. Ryan) is going through a period of depression, thanks in part to a previous childhood bully (Salkil) and guilt-inducing mother (Melinda Parker…Dave’s mom?). She is under the care of a psychologist (Mills) who gives her an experimental psychotropic medication to put in her ear. Of course, the effects are not what are expected.

 

While this story also has humor, it is also a lot more dramatic and definitely more artistically shot than the previous one. Usually, the way many anthologies work, is they put a decent one to start, the weakest in the middle, and the best for last. Well, that’s not true here, nearly completely because of Ryan (I am a self-admitted fan from her previous work). She takes what could be a silly tale and turns it into an emotional one on a level you might not expect. My analogy is she’s like someone who takes a temp job and then just works the hell out of it and impresses everyone.

 

Also, as I said, Parker shows some bolder artistic moves, using stylish editing, some accurate casting and more thoughtful storytelling in general, even with something as goofy as this creature is, apparently.

 

Dave Parker (aka MrParka)

“The Crusties” is the third and longest piece. After meeting a crusty (pun intended) construction worker named Walter (MrParka) who accidentally eats some green goop that somehow got on his sandwich at a work site, we are introduced to a bunch of his friends, including most of the cast (sans Erin) playing themselves; they all meet to play a game of D&D (is that still a thing anymore?). There is a lot of scatological humor in this episode, and the one about gas station nachos had me laughing (and, bringing back specific, unpleasant memories). So while the guys are playing the game, in walks Walter who immediate hits the water closet, and squirts out more of the green goo, which turn into said juggalo Crusties creatures bent on killing our out-of-their-league – er – heroes.

 

Okay, I’m going to come out and say it, but please stick around. This story is stupid as shit (pun, again, intended), but honestly, I believe it was supposed to be. What I mean is, generally, you get to see some of the cast and crew having a blast together, and that transmits out to the audience, if you’re open minded to it. I do believe if you’re watching this, there is a good chance you’re in that fortunate frame of mind.

 

The Crusties

Much of the gore in the film is seen pretty often, albeit a bit cartoonish, with occasional bits being beautiful, such as the ear gag in “The Crusties.” The make-up and slime in the wraparound were mostly by Brandon’s (hey big guy, how youse doin’?!) spouse, Sherriah Salkil, also part of the Mills merry collective, and the puppets were created by Jeremy Ryan, which are as fakey looking as possible. In fact, it is to the point where I believe that it was supposed to be that way, for comic effect, leaning towards the Plan 9 from Outer Space (1959) level (e.g., the floating “Crustie”). If that’s so, I consider that a success.

 

Making films can be like poetry or masturbation: it should be done for oneself, but except in the case of the latter, it’s one’s personal passion put out to the public. It’s important to know about the source as much as it is for the source to understand their audience. And this is definitely geared towards the Dustin Mills audience (and beyond-yond-yond [if this was audio, there would be an echo effect there]), especially since Mills has recently delved into the darker side of the Torment subgenre. This is a good way to reach The Puppet Monster Massacre (2010) audience that may have been felt left behind, but still like the Mills group.

 

Okay, I understand that Parker is not Mills, but it’s essentially the same body with a different head. I’m sure Mills was there helping along, and rightfully so… I would want someone with experience in my corner; when Young Frankenstein (1974) was created, for example, there were segments actually directed by Gene Wilder under Mel Brooks’ direction, to prepare him for helming The Adventure of Sherlock Holmes’ Smarter Brother (1975). It’s all good.

 

Most of the cast is also most of the crew, as is common in micro-budget filming (the cost is listed as $1000, and I’ll bet most of that went to supplies for creating the puppets and gore, and largely for the cast’s food), and for a first time out, Parker was in good hands. The end result is something that is goofy, ridiculous, funny, and mostly an end product to be proud of, in my opinion. I’m looking forward to your next excursion, MrParka!