Reviews: Hillbilly Horror Show (Vol. 1); The Legend of the Hillbilly Butcher

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2014
Images from the Internet

I put these two reviews together because… hell, if you can’t tell why, then yer dummer than a a mitten-wearin’ redneck at shoe-tying contest.

 

The Legend of the Hillbilly Butcher
Co-written, filmed and directed by Joaquin Montalvan
Sledgehammer Films
Whacked Movies
99 minutes, 2012 / 2014
www.sledgehammerfilms.com
www.legendofthehillbillybutcher.com
www.mvdvisual.com

Most of the time when the world “Hillbilly” appears in the title, the film may be fun, but it tends to be a bit on the silly side, especially in this genre. For example, there’s Hillbilly’s in Haunted House (1967), Cannibal Hillbillies (2003), and Hicky: The Hillbilly Vampire (2014). This one, however, is very serious, despite a few moments of mirth that peek through.

We are introduced to the titular Carl Henry Jessup in a wraparound by a granddad telling this “based on a true story” tale to his three gran’chillrin. It should come as no surprise that the favorite food of Jessup (Paul Respass, d. 2014) is “long pig,” aka human flesh. After all, as someone says to him in the film more than one, “Your bloodline is cursed, Carl Henry.”

To be served on a plate, all you need to do is be someone he doesn’t know and show up on his property, poachers, or if they just piss him off, such as date-rape the woman who is his half-sister.

The main part of the story has a retro 1970s-‘80s grainy, washed out look with pock marks and scratches, reminding me a bit of part of the classic slasher Mother’s Day (1980). As we look deeper into the mind and thoughts of Jessup (which we hear in an overdub), there are flashes of arty camerawork and editing that elevates this to more than just a typical slash a burn (or cook) slice-em-up.

Early on, we meet the zaftig Rae Lynn (Theresa Holly), Carl Henry’s deep blue eyed neighbor and half-sister who cooks for Jessup. Whether she knows what (or who) she is cooking is unclear for a while. On some level, Jessup loves her, but not as much as his moonshine or his “daddy’s special” gravy. She’s also the only one who can stand up to him without fear. And it’s pretty obvious that she has a much deeper hankering for him, but he’s “kin.” Instead, she takes a shine on their dumb-as-a-stump moocher friend, Billy Wayne (Chris Shumway).

Poor Carl Henry really misses his Momma and evil Papa, and is willing to sell his soul to bring them back “alive and in the flesh.” Even though he recants his wish, is that possible, and how much of it is “real” or in his mind? What about the drunk ‘billy roaming around throughout the story (played by the director), and how does he fit into the story? Of course, secrets are going to be revealed and violence will ensue.

The gore is aplenty and looks great, though the blood is occasionally too gooey. I’ll forgive that since everything else looks so good (e.g., real pig intestines were used). The editing is superb, and the throw-back look works well.

Part of what makes this enjoyable is that Montalvan gets such good performances out of his actors. There is the occasionally moment of woodiness, but mostly they manage of embody the characters, or more accurately, let the characters embody them. The three main leads are especially strong. Paul has Carl Henry go from raging to befuddled to scared (about making his pact), to nostalgic and annoyed in the wink of an eye without being confusing or seeming to give conflicting messages. Shumway has his way with being creepy in a very subtle manner. Theresa is also well versed in creating mood without saying a word. The scene at the table where Billy Wayne asks her out, you see her face go from flattered to “what the hell am I thinking” to sad as she looks longingly at Carl in an entirely natural and fluid way that is a joy to watch.

Even without the supernatural aspects, this would be a good film. That being said, it does add a touch that makes it differ from most backwoods slitters. In fact, this low-budget exercise was more enjoyable to me than the more popular Jug Face (2013), another backwater bloodbath with a mystical message. In other words, this was even better than I expected. Thanks!

Lots of juicy extras are included. Yeah, three different versions of the trailer is great, and I say that without a whiff of sarcasm, but the centerpiece is the hour-long Making Of documentary titled “Gutting da Hillbilly Butcher.” Most of the cast is interviewed, including most of the crew, who discuss the aspects of their contribution to the project, as well as how it was working with the film as a whole. The director shines a light on many aspects including that part of the production was shot in his back yard in Pasadena (the rest in a busy nature preserve). Even some of the neighbors are talking heads here, a nice choice. However, it is S.E. Feinberg, who played the narrator of the wraparound that steals the show. I’m going to have that “Gimme that Long Pig” song stuck in my head for hours now.

Also, there is a 30-minute Internet interview with the director and two leads, on “The Horror Happens Radio Show” hosted by Jay K (www.horrorhappens6.wix.com/show). The cast is on camera via computer so you get to see their reactions and hear lots of stories. It’s a nice addition, especially with Paul (possibly the last piece of film of him) being beardless and looking quite different and non-menacing.

More than once during these extras, Montalvan mentions an earlier short film titled Razor Blade (2012), which is also included. It’s experimental, reminiscent of Luis Bunuel’s Un Chien Andalou (1929) in visuals and editing, and a bit of content. Montalvan definitely has an eye for the arty side of horror.

As for The Legend of the Hillbilly Butcher, stick around until after the credits, by the way…

 

 

Hillbilly Horror Show (Vol. 1)

Directed by Sharif Salama
Leomark Studios
Filthy Fingernails Productions
60 minutes, 2014
www.mvdvisual.com

When dealing with a horror anthology, I understand the need for a wraparound story, or some usually humorous and/or sexy host to present it. Think Rod Serling in Night Gallery, or Elvira. This collection of indie shorts is presented by three RV trailer trashees: backwards cap wearing and fully bearded everyman Bo, mumbling professor Cephus, and the “smo-kin” Daisy Duke/ripped tee-shirt clad Lulu. The box cover makes it look like it’s going to be lascivious, but this group is pretty PG, television ready rated stuff (even with the slight hint of stereotypical cousin incest).

Perhaps it’s because it’s the first hour-long version of this “Hee Haw meets Creepshow” (the PR description), but I didn’t find much personality with the trio here, as with, say, Ollie Joe Prader or Larry the Cable Guy’s crowd. Pretty harmless, though, but not as funny as the writers seem to think it is. Hopefully that will improve, especially with the hype and commercial attention this is getting, and I’ll hopefully be watching future episodes to find out. And I know there are at least two more in 2015.

The first story, “Franky and the Ant,” is a pretty solid crime/revenge tale that is well acted and written, though it borrows quite liberally from the film (not television version) Fargo (1996). It’s short and sweet. This is followed by an insane slasher piece called “Amused.” We watch a woman being chased through very The Shining type weather. I saw the ending coming early on, but it was still – er – amusing to watch. The actors all seemed committed. That’s part of why I love indie films.

An interesting piece of animation that cuts to the bone is “Doppelganger,” which is reminiscent of one of my idols, Ray Harryhausen. I found this one especially disappointing despite the excellent stop-motion photography.

Clearly the centerpiece is the final short, “The Nest.” We meet a mother and son that run a remote diner in farm country, who have a bit of a twisted relationship (no, not that kind). Known for their award winning honey, the duo is at odds with the local government man (a decent actor who is totally too young for the role) and rancher. The latter sets up a series of events that does not end well for nearly anyone. This is by far the best of the batch, and is well done from beginning to end, including some nice effects (though the gore level is at a minimum, which is actually true across the board in all the films). My only comment that could be taken negatively is to question why it is called “The Nest” and not “The Hive.”

I can certainly see it as a series and I would enjoy watching it, getting the opportunity to see some decent indie shorts. As with any anthology, there is a mixture of quality, and this is no exemption, but it is (in my humble opinion) a fun way to spend an hour.

 

 

 

Review: Savages Crossing

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2014
Images from the Internet

Savages Crossing

Directed by Kevin Dobson
Winnah Films
Jingai Films
84 minutes, 2011
www.winnahfilms.au
www.mvdvisual.com

I’m surprised they didn’t use the Sly & the Family Stone song: “It’s a fam’ly affair…”

The film is co-written by husband and wife team John Jarratt and Cody Jarratt. It stars John and his son (from a previous), Charlie. It’s produced by Winnah Films, an Aussie production house owned by John. Oh, and did I mention that John is also known as the killer in the classic Outback thriller / slasher that quickly rose to fame called Wolf Creek (2005)? Supposedly he doesn’t like horror films, but his association with them is definitely strong.

But as far as families go, let’s not stop there. The central focus is on another father / mother / son combo. John Garratt plays a dad who is just out of a lock-down rehab after seven months where he was incarcerated against his will for his many vices (alcohol, prescription drugs, gambling, and anger management). His wife (Angela Punch-McGregor) is on the run for fear of her life, along with their university age son, Damien (Charlie Jarratt).

In the words of Noah, “It’s gonna rain,” and pour it does, leaving this trio stranded at an isolated gas station / restaurant at, yep, Savages Crossing [side note: I am not comfortable with this name, as I think it refers to the indigenous people of Queensland, Australia, where it is filmed; perhaps my sensitivities have been raised since the whole “Redskins,” etc., names have been under scrutiny of late.] Add in a couple of young women on a road trip (Sacha Horler, Rebecca Smart), the cowboy owner of the station and farm around it (Craig McLachlan) , and restaurant manager / cook / wait staff (the fetching Jessica Napier, who I doubt is any relation to Charles Napier of Russ Meyer fame), and obvious future love interest.  Then there is the crooked cop with nefarious motives (Chris Haywood).

The basic premise of a group of strangers trapped in an isolated location such as a restaurant, with a murder (or more) is hardly new. Who is on the side of “good” and who is on the side of “bad” is always in doubt, and that’s part of the paradigm as well. The question is, what do the Jarratts do with it that makes it their own?

I’ll be honest, I didn’t find many surprises in this as nearly everything is telegraphed. There is a mild twist at the end, of course, and it’s not the most brilliant, but I will say it is effective. That being said, I was pleasantly surprised at the level of suspense that is managed to be brought to the table of this oft told tale.

For me the biggest suspense, however, deals with a topic brought up by Carol J. Clover in her brilliant book, Men, Women and Chainsaws: Gender in the Modern Horror Film (1993). This film proves part of her theory, that in slasher movies, the men are, well, stupid, especially the “heroes.” You knock the bad guy out, you don’t just leave them you asshole, you tie them up, especially after they’ve proven they are not afraid to kill anyone. Especially when… well, I don’t want to give too much away. In another scenario, a couple being hunted hides in a place that not only has only one door (in the direction of the person hunting them), but it has a wall made of chicken wire (in the direction of the person hunting them).  Damn. That’s just a couple of examples.

The acting ranges on a wide scale. Being his first role, Charlie has a bit of training to do. However, both Horler and Jarratt senior act the pants off the rest, especially in a key scene they have together in the third act.

The only extras at two trailers, including one for this film.

The monster(s) in this film is the human kind, but it wears many skins and styles. It’s a good film with some mild blood and no nudity, so while you may not want to choose to watch it with your elderly auntie, it’s pretty safe for most.

 

Trailer: HERE

Reviews: Two Mockumentaries: The Lost Realities of Hog Caller, and TIGHT

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2014
Images from the Internet

These exploitations seem to go together for a number of reasons. First of all, they’re supposed documentaries about real bands that are not your average run of the mill groups. Second, they both came out around the same time. Third, they are both award winners of dubious prizes. Finally, the odds at success for the bands are a bit farfetched. Other than that, these two groups are worlds apart, as are the styles of the film. And enjoyment levels.

 

The Lost Realities of Hog Caller
Written, directed and edited by Tom Richards
TPR Productions
Wild Eye Releasing
85 minutes, 2011
www.wildeyereleasing.com
www.mvdvisual.com

This “found footage” mockumentary about a grindocre duo called Hog Caller is a nearly psychedelic ride into the backwoods of Middletown, PA, home of Three Mile Island, and apparently Osama bin Laden. Who knew?

With just a little too much fondness for pig heads and David Lynch’s Eraserhead (1977), this real (?) band of two lunatics live out in the woods. A local television reporter, Skip Jenkins, is doing a piece on “Where Are Hog Caller,” and has apparently bought a box of video (yes, VHS) tape home Hog Caller movies, and we watch them interspersed with Skip, and a whole mess of messed up crap.

Words used to describe this on the box include “Repugnant” and “Sickest,” and yeah, it is that. Lots of pig bodies and disembodied heads with flies flying around them are shown in various stages of decay. One little one is dressed in a bonnet and hauled around as if it was a baby, on a playground swing or getting ice cream by one of the Callers.

There is also something about a guy in a bad rubber George W. Bush mask (actually supposed to be Bush) giving money to a way-too-short guy dressed in Arab garb with a very fake beard (an obviously blond dude), who has a shooting camp just outside of town where the targets have pictures of Jesus and Mary in the middle of them. Yep, it’s designed to offend more than succeeds in being funny. I wasn’t offended, and didn’t find it funny, either. Just too obvious. Osama is taken out by one of the Callers who is out huntin’.

Everyone here has only this film to their credit, but I’m pretty sure that’s because most people use fake names that one could call Moe’s Bar with, such as Phil Morehole, Stinky Puscadero, Brenda Paxil, Emily Zoloft, Sandy Seroplex, and Suzy Jihad.

Lots of drug mention/use, lots of alcohol, lots of fast editing, many dead animals, and little of anything else, such as story (again, the Eraserhead homage). But the problem with the film isn’t that it’s “repugnant” and gross, which it is at times, the biggest issue I have with it is actually the same one I had with Eraserhead: it’s pointless. I don’t mind weirdness, and I don’t mind psychotropic filmmaking, but at least keep it interesting.

I’m not sure if Hog Caller is an actual group, but for the purposes of this film, they are the duo of Tom Richards (bass and vocals, aka the Dirtfarmer, aka the director of this film) and Steve O’Donnell (guitar, aka Vomitrocious). The instruments and vocals are fed through a synthesizer to make it into noise. They call it grindcore. Okay. There are also a lot of real animal carcasses (mostly pigs). The gore that is shown as bodies are chopped up toward the end, are obviously some of the animal parts from the animal butcher shop where the rest of the carcasses are bought.

Extras are the trailer and a making of documentary.

All in all, I found this more annoying than disturbing, and equally boring as gross. I am annoyed because I feel like I just watched two guys masturbating for 84 minutes in their own ego.

 

 

Tight
Written and directed by Shaun Donnelly
Mind Engine Productions
Wild Eye Releasing
114 minutes, 201X
www.wildeyereleasing.com
www.mvdvisual.com
 
The band (left to right in picture above:
Tuesday Cross: bass
Alicia Andrews: drum
Monica Mayhem: vox
Bree Olson: manager
Layla Labelle: guitar

I have seen this described as both a documentary and a mockumentary, and that’s just on the same DVD cover! And yet, they both feel accurate.

Porn actress Bree Olson tries her hand in “reality” filming. Mixing the biz she knows and the idea first fomented through the Monkees, she enlists four of her colleagues to form an all-girl pornstar rock band. Most of the women knew their craft musical before (albeit somewhat limited), and in Micky Dolenz fashion, Alicia Andrews learned to play the drums just before joining in the group.

From there, it starts to feel like most other reality shows. The four women are put up in a house together so tension can both build through familiarity (remember, pornstars tend to be grown on body image and ego) and induced situations. Here, they have five days from forming to their first performance. The first piece of armor scratching comes when Monica Mayhem wants to rehearse (i.e., sing) no more than three hours a day to save her voice. This is actually not far off standard, but it causes a supposed ruffle in the band while the other three bond without her. What I would have done is sing the three hours, but stay with the band while they rehearse to form a collective, rather than stay home. We don’t see where the decision not to be there comes from, be it from Monica or the producer(s) (Olson).

During that first gig, where Tight are told they are going on first rather than headlining (well, duh, they’ve only been together for five days, and the now-headliner is fellow pornstar and more established awful pop singer, Brittaney Starr), it feels like a planned set-up to see their reactions. During the gig, Monica tells the bassist, Tuesday Cross, to flash her ass, which she does. They then show an insert of an interview with guitarist Layla Labelle (and her lovely Montreal accent) rightfully saying, when up on stage they should separate the band from the porn. This is thrown out the window as by the second show Monica is shown singing topless.

There is a lot of nudity and sex (sometimes from porn shoots especially, and a supposedly spontaneous scenes that seem way too…convenient with a camera going a foot in front of the action) from everyone involved. The sex is all hard softcore, i.e., no male body parts shown, but does not shy away from it or give any indication that is it faked). Which brings me to this topic: this is not a horror film, so why is it on this blog? Well, for a number of reasons, but specifically because this is not limited only to blood and gore, but also to exploitation and sexploitation as well, and this definitely fits into those two categories, especially since it is an indie production. True, I had to look just about everybody up to find information on them, but hey, it’s all in the line of duty, right?

So, speaking of formulated situations to get reaction, Olson brings her sex-obsessed and Ichabod Crane-like cousin Joel as Assistant Manager. He’s a creepy guy who likes to see Olson on-location filming sex scenes while eating sardines from a can with his fingers, who is brought into the producing of Tight’s first music video. Naturally, Olson goes and leaves the guy (real or a written character, I’m not sure) there to foster more angst among the group. This just feels too fabricated and planned, but at the same time it’s like an accident where you can’t avert your eyes. If you decide to see this, I guarantee you will utter, out loud, “ewwww.”

Brittaney Starr, in a totally see through top and looking a bit worn, shows up at a rehearsal tells Tight they sound “rusty.” Again, this feels like Starr and Olson planned this to rattle the women for the camera.

An ill-fated tour to Denver strands the ladies with lots of misadventures and a solo bubble rub in a tub (again, does not feel spontaneous). To make some money, of course there’s some porn filming. Shouldn’t Bree, as their manager, send them some cash? I’m beginning to wonder if there is a more hardcore version of this planned? Will I see it? Nah, but I’m curious to know if I’m right. For me, that’s one of the biggest issues about the video is that all the sex is so unspontaneous, and most of the situations they are put in feel scripted. There are some moments that feel real, like Layla being mad at Tuesday for whipping her with her studded belt buckle when Tuesday is wasted. It is almost like she doesn’t know how to express her anger because it feels real. A lot of the other anger that is expressed, though, I don’t know if it’s normal band-on-tour-tight quarters kind of stuff, or triggered by things that we don’t see, or there is someone off-camera saying, “Okay, you and you fight this time.” The line between real and script is sometimes easy to see, and sometimes not as much.

Lots of mayhem (pun unintended) as the ladies drink and slug it out both figuratively and literally, leading up to a record producer hearing them play on day 37. What happens then, you’ll have to see, but it’s pretty clear.

But, you are probably asking, this is about an all-woman pornstar rock band. How are they? Well, I have certainly seen a lot – and I mean a lot worse over the years. The playing is rudimentary, the songs are kinda repetitive, the vocals are okay, and, well, they’re not bad though not great. Considering we follow them together for the mere 37 days of this shoot, and they have their first live gig within the first week, it’s actually pretty impressive. I don’t think they could go anywhere on just being a rock band, without the gimmick of their other life, but yeah, they’re decent.

The closest I have come to the reality of this is seeing Penthouse Pet of the Year Cheryl Rixon front a band in the early 1980s or so. That was pretty good, but she was helped along by her co-Australian bandmate, who used to be in the Easybeats (“Friday on My Mind”). Tight don’t have that option (that we see).

There are lots of cool extras including many deleted scenes which are enjoyable, a couple of music videos, photo shoots, multiple trailers for both this film and the wonderful Wild Eye Releasing, and so much more.

So, this m/d/ocumentary smacks of reality TV, including the incidental music and pacing, but it sure beats out some of the other fakes, such as Honey Crap Crap and Duck Shit, whatever they’re called.

 

 

 

Reviews: Double Feature From Hell: Hellinger, Holy Terror

Text by Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2014
Images from the Internet

 

A nice two-films-on-one-DVD release by Massimiliano Cherci titled Double Feature From Hell, whose Troma patronage is evident (even though the deal with Troma Distribution fell through). Both these films use a theme of horror and religion, not surprisingly Roman Catholicism is the foci as it is the part of the background of its Italy-born director. It is inevitable that there will be comparisons with the 1980s style of Giallo, but I am saying too much here. Read on… if you dare…

Hellinger

Directed by Massimiliano Cherci
Rounds Entertainment
SGL Entertainment
MVD Visual
90 minutes, 1997 / 2014
www.mvdvisual.com

Most people are going to look at this film, rereleased after nearly two decades, and say, Oh, a throwback from the 1980s “video nasties” that were so prevalent in that era. Well, they wouldn’t actually be wrong, but I would take it a step further, and point out that it still has that gory fun and swiss cheese storyline that we usually love from the likes of Troma.

A Roman Catholic priest decides he wants to start his own religion and see heaven before he gets there. After a supposed pact with the devil to do this, he becomes….Hellinger (a play on the mixture of Hellraiser and Dillinger?). They never really explain the name: just one of the swiss cheese holes. Meanwhile, he is haunting a young woman, Melissa Moran (the lovely Shannah Betz, aka Shana Betz, aka Shana Sosin, aka…), whose abusive father Hellinger killed by evisceration and pulling out his eyes right in front of her when she was just a schoolgirl. Apparently, Hellinger has a thing for eyes. But Melissa as an adult is both tough as nails and still that scared little girl.  

The third main character is Melissa’s cousin, the silly named Kendall Ransom (long haired, bearded and full body tattooed Artie Richard). He’s a cross between Chuck Norris and Snake Plisskin (as a coincidence, this film was made in 1997, the same year Escape From New York [1981] was supposed to have taken place). Now I realize that the even relatively modern horror cinema of the 1990s needed to have some kind of male action hero to look up to, but I have to say, Ransom is a totally superfluous character. He basically fails in everything he tries, other than getting us Hellinger’s backstory in a longwinded talking head exposition. In a Carol J. Clover moment, he can’t even save the heroine. Girl power!

For what it’s worth, this is actually a fun film straight through, even though it’s not a great piece of cinema. The no digi effects gore is plentiful if cheesy (especially the ending), the acting on the most part equally questionable (though Betz comes off – er – best), and as I said, there are plenty of plotline holes, but it will keep your attention, along with giving some unintended laughs here and there, which is always fun.

Cherci (who also has a recurring cameo role) borrows a lot from a very interesting time of filmmaking. For example, he was obviously influenced by Italian Giallo, especially Dario Argento, and arguably Leo Fulci (this film reminded me of his 1982’s The New York Ripper and 1980’s City of the Living Dead).  There is also a pimp character that smacked of Harvey Keitel’s role in Taxi Driver (1976).  However, in a somewhat prescient way, he also has the title character repeatedly call Melissa, “my preciousssss,” is a throaty hiss.

Let’s talk a bit about the Hellinger character. He is borrowed a lot from the Pinhead lead of Hellraiser (1987), and there are even the occasional hanging and swinging chains here and there.  Bald and pancake faced film security maven Wayne Petrucelli plays (okay, overplays) him as a cranky, slow talking, nearly immobile evil character who is not the way he is for the reasons the legend states, trying for audience sympathy at the last moment, though it’s hard to feel that. He’s both villain and Melissa’s protector, as he snarls and sibilant “S” lisps out his dialog. He truly will make you appreciate Doug Bradley’s equally stoic turn (if you have to ask who Bradley is, you may be reading the wrong blog; at least look him up).

In another swiss cheese hole, Hellinger keeps telling her he “loves” her and wants him to join him in eternity, but it is never really explained why (unless I missed it in all the exposition). I mean, the first time she sees him she’s a little kid, so that makes it even creepier. Why is she his “precious”?

For a low budget film, despite my own crankiness, this was quite enjoyable, that is once you get past all the question marks, and the mysterians. Between the graininess of the image, the grittiness of the characters, there’s blood and sex (and yes, nudity), and a film worth viewing if you enjoy indie horror, especially in the Giallo and ‘80s genres.

Holy Terror

Directed by Massimiliano Cherci
Rounds Entertainment
SGL Entertainment
MVD Visual
55 minutes, 2002 / 2014
www.mvdvisual.com

A possessed nun (played by the ironically Biblically named Katy Moses) needs souls to keep feeding on. Somehow, even though she never speaks a word, she manages to have a real estate agent that periodically (okay, often) rent out her house to young couples for that purpose. Mayhem eventually occurs.

The couple in this case is the beautiful and blonde Julie (Beverly Lynne) and her equally beautiful and blond hubby, David (Charlie Lubiniecki, who amusingly now goes by David Charlie). To celebrate they bring four of their friends, two women and another married couple, over for a housewarming party. By the end, you know very well that few will leave.

All the women are pretty, and the two men are just so gay. Now, I’m not saying this in a negative way, I just mean the actors are very obviously, well, gay. Hell, one even has earrings in both ears. My gaydar went through the freakin’ roof. They are decent actors, but it was distracting. The only remaining real characters other than some brief appearances, is the real estate agent, Kane (Michael Brazier, who also co-produced the film with Cherci), and of course, the nun.  

Stylistically, Cherci has obviously grown since Hellinger, but the story just does not get off the ground at all (it’s his story, but the screenplay was written by Fratelli DiNotte. It’s 45 minutes before anything really happens, and most of it is off-screen, even when it happens right then. For example, you see the arm come down to strike with a crucifix, but you don’t see the hit, just the after-effect.

The writing is just terrible, honestly. One character is showering and she is soon covered in blood, shocked by it all of course. Then she calming walks into the other room and jokes about it with her friends. Another person vomits solid blood for a full minute, and then calmly wipes the john, checks herself in the mirror, and walks out the door. I get freaked out if it’s just puke, never mind blood, and she’s blasé about it all.

The most egregious thing, however, is the fact that this film never gets off the ground. Even when the action sets into gear after a really long wait, it’s anti-climactic because we really don’t get to care about anyone, and the action level is so muted.

Most of the cast has a history of sex horror films. Well, the women anyway, and for the men, the credits are limited at best. As for Moses (aka the nun), this is her only appearance on official record (i.e., IMDB). The acting is actually much better than in Hellinger, and most of the cast more attractive (except for Shanna Betz, who would fit in well here), but sadly it’s all in vain because, as one of the women say in this film, “So far this party has been very uneventful.” I couldn’t say it better than this self-referential gem.

So, even though this film has high quality filmmaking and acting, Hellinger is the reason to get this metaphysical twosome.

 

Trailer for Hellinger: http://youtu.be/z_seoHSkxHI

 

Trailer for Holy Terror: http://youtu.be/jeGCT6zNz_Q

 

 

 

 

 

Review: Camp Blood First Slaughter

Text by Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2014
Images from the Internet

 

Camp Blood First Slaughter

Written and directed by Mark Polonia
Sterling Entertainment
Polonia Bros Entertainment
MVD Visual
78 minutes, 2014
www.sterlingmoviefactory.com
www.mvdvisual.com

Recently, I reviewed another Polonia film, Empire of the Apes [HERE], the film they made before this one, and I wonder how they got so much better in one film?

There are similarities, though: To begin, both films are based on other people’s franchises, in this case it being Brad Sykes’s killer clown in the woods Camp Blood trilogy, which I haven’t seen. Well, this one doesn’t continue it as much as kick it in the ass, which is part of what makes it fun. And then, like most other killer in mask camp films, this one takes place in the woods, much as did Empire.

What I like about this film is that Polonia takes the basic maniac in the woods story and mixes it up a bit. All the clichés of the genre are there, including the weird old guy warning them to leave which they of course ignore, and Polonia even combines it with the found footage phenomena that everyone seems to be jumping on over the past few years since Blair Witch Project (1999).

Sometimes when you have an indie film, because the Hollywood rules don’t always count and the training is more hands-on, directors can get away with more because the lines are more fluid. This happens right off the bat here. Did not see that first killing coming at all, and it was very impressive.

After a standard prologue where the woman belittles the man who gets killed before she does, as is also par as the story is a class of high schoolers – for once most of whom look like they actually could be that age or close – are sent into the woods by their teacher (Cindy Wheeler) to investigate (and film) what really happened. The point is to prove or disprove if there even is a Blood Lake killer clown with a machete hacking people. Okay, yes, same MO (i.e., mask and a onesey) as Jason and same locale as Jason and same weapon as Jason. I get it other reviewers, so let’s move on.

So three females and two males camp out, and then run their cameras constantly through the day. And night. With no outlets to recharge the cameras. It’s the modern equivalent of a Western where the six-shooter never runs out of bullets, I suppose. I know I have to charge mine about every two hours of usage. Again, the rules of micro-budget are different, that is apparent.

Talk around the campfire with one of them trying to scare the others with stories? Check. False scares (such as someone surprising someone in the dark)? Check. A real scare as the killer shows up after the false scare? Check.

Now, while a lot of this is frankly following the playbook, there is also an undercurrent element which has, well, if not originality, then definitely a shake-up of the standard. There is some playing with time, you definitely get a preview of what is going to happen to our hapless students, and of course, what are left are the video cameras, including the one worn by the killer on the side of its mask. And the ending is actually a bit of a surprise.

While this isn’t the greatest of films, it’s miles above the Empire of the Apes (the one Polonia did before this one!). The gore is a cheesy a mix of digital and appliance. Despite being a bit hackneyed, such as using a machete with part of the blade cut out to look like it’s chopping through a body part, it’s still a fun ride to watch. The digital blood spatter is, however, just bad. There most of the other reviews I’ve read have it right; fakest I’ve seen since Empire, which was even way more fakey.

Again, micro-budgets produce interesting vibes, and sometimes even the most ridiculous become… well, not credible, but acceptable-though-noticeable. For example, when one teen is getting her head chopped off, and blood is pouring from her mouth (they must have gone through a lot of blood capsules in this film as everyone bleeds profusely from the mouth), she appears to be laughing as she’s coughing up blood. It actually made me smile, and she was one of my favorite characters.

Now to some quickies: You can tell when the POV is the killer’s other than the students because you can hear the heavy breathing, like it was the end of a marathon; I kept saying, dude, you need to work out more and do some cardio. Every couple of minutes you see the screen scrambled with a szzhzhzhz sound, like interference, to remind the viewer that it is supposed to be watching video after the fact. I know my digi camera never does that, but okay. I figured out the killer pretty fast, dismissed it, and then remembered at the end as was right; however, it’s not that obvious and it may surprise you. It seems that every victim picked up the wooden Camp Blood sign just before they become ex-teens. Again, no nudity or even the suggestion of it (though an affair is rumoured). Other than chapter choices, there are no extras on this.

Some of the Polonia stock players make appearances, such as Jeff Kirkendall (also a genre filmmaker) as the loony warning them away, Ken Van Sant as the sheriff that finds the cameras, and punk rock drummer (yes, I will always use that descriptor because it is cool) Steve Diasparra as the Mayor (and one other role). Most of the other cast have either this as their only credit, or just a couple or few others with Polonia or Kirkendall.

Yeah, the acting and dialog are somewhat stilted, but the message comes across without the viewer having to use the mind too much, and sometimes that’s all one needs, right? The film is a decent length, being not too long, but with enough time to tell the story, which is obviously written for a sequel.

Review: Empire of the Apes

Text by Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2014
Images from the Internet

 

Empire of the Apes

Written and directed by Mark Polonia
Sterling Entertainment; Polonia Bros Entertainment; MVD Visual
80 minutes, 2013
www.sterlingmoviefactory.com
www.mvdvisual.com

Uff da.

Over the past few years, Polonia and his siblings have made a name for themselves in the indie horror world apparently by sheer volume. He has directed over thirty films since 1986, though becoming much more prolific since the millennium, averaging two or three releases per year. And yet, this is the first of his I’ve seen, so I will only go by this one.

Let’s get right to the premise, which is an obvious combination of The Planet of the Apes franchise through the decades, Larry Buchanan’s Mistress of the Apes (1979), and Ken Dixon’s Slave Girls From Beyond Infinity (1987). Most have their roots or ideals in the early 1980s horror/sci-fi glut that emerged with the VHS market. I’m nearly surprised there wasn’t a cameo here by the likes of Brinke Stevens, Linnea Quigley or Michelle Bauer.

But the cast is small and most have but few credits (nearly all with Polonia). Told mostly in flashback, three comely women wearing little are prisoners on a spaceship and about to be sold to another planet as pleasure servants. They don’t really like each other much, but manage to work together to escape and steal a space pod, landing on a planet inhabited by about half a dozen talking male apes (English, of course), led by the ambitious and cruel Korg (Ken Van Sant), wearing a headpiece-hat-thingie that looks like medieval kings wore. On the other end of the spectrum is the erstwhile ape hero, Trask (Jeff Kirkendall), who wears a tan overcoat! With a hood! It’s sort of right wing vs. left, if you want to get a tad deep about it.

Speaking of the apes, their masks are obviously rubber, with a loose jaw for when they are talking. And despite that they are on a planet far, far away, even though it’s odd they speak English, it’s the phrases they use that throw me. For example, one references the planet as a “Garden of Eden.” Old Testament on chimp planet? Wha? Another time what is spouted is, “This way, you merry mother grabbers!” Eh? Lots of anachronistic language is flung like poo at us, though no cuss words. Of course, this is also part of the charm, and besides, it may show up on TV that way. Uncut.

The lead human villain is the head of the prison ship, Captain Zantor (played by shaved-head punk rock drummer Steve Diasparra). On a slightly different and deeper level, there is actually very little difference between leader Korg and leader Zantor, which I am sure is part of the point. They are conniving, ambitious, greedy, and backstabbing. Which will win? Well, that’s given away pretty early, unfortunately, as this is – as I stated earlier – a flashback.

As for our three anti-heroines, there’s the somewhat leader and toothsome Dane (Danielle Donahue), the biker babe type Theel (Elizabeth V. Costanzo), and the “innocent” Jada (Marie DeLorenzo, who rocks a sort of Drew Barrymore look). Despite the theme of the film, they actually take second banana (couldn’t resist) to both Korg and Zantor. But they are all three attractive, and all dressed in some form of flesh-showing Lycra.

Speaking of which, let’s talk about why we watch this stuff, in part. Even though there are lots of bare arms, legs and bellies, there is absolutely zero nudity here, not even a hint. Hasn’t anyone given Polonia the handbook? There is practically no blood, never mind gore. Polonia needs to contact and hire DMP (Dustin Mills Productions), one of the best in the micro-budget trade, to get his splatter on. And as for SFX, well, other than some rubber masks, a couple of interesting looking spears, and some miniature space crafts, nearly all of the effects are cheap digi ones that look like it was done on a free software you can download from the ‘net. We’re talking Ed Wood level effects, if there was digi-FX back then.

I respect what the Polonia Brothers are doing, don’t get me wrong, please. They do get a story going, and even manage to make it lead towards a sequel even though the whole ending here is a WTF moment. The kindest and truest thing I can say about this film is it really is a loyal nod to the 1980s VHS schlock that so many of us like. Even though I thought the pace was a bit slow, the dialog stunted, the acting deplorable, the setting silly (mowed grass?!), and huge plot holes (really, the captain of the prison ship would  go after three prisoners on an unknown planet? Alone?), I would still rather see something like this than sit in a theater and watch most Hollywood digital disasters (for example, the excruciatingly painful on so many levels Transformers franchise).

So even with its many faults, I say a small bravo, and look forward (though on a lower scale) to the next in the Apes series.

 

 

Review: Mara

Text by Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2014
Images from the Internet

 

Mara

Directed by Jacob Kondrup, Fredrik Hedberg, and Åke Gustafsson
Filmkon©ept Scandinavia
MVD Visual
77 minutes, 2013
www.filmkoncept.com
www.mvdvisual.com

The Swedes make some interesting and surprising creepy films. For example the title of Mara can be translated as either a succubus, a spirit who brings mishaps, or as a name it means “bitter” (as does Miriam, Mary or Marie).

Mara has a basic plot theme which can be found in films from the late ‘70s on: told in flashback, a group of friends (here its three women, two dudes) go to a desolate country farm house in which a murder took place years before that was witnessed by the protagonist, Jenny (Angelica Jansson); her mother stabbed her father multiple times in a jealous rage. Of course, mom has been released from the asylum, and people are dying. You’re probably saying, “Been there, seen that.”

Ah, but we’re talking about Scandinavian cinema, where there is a lot of smoke and mirrors, along with a sense of cinemafantastique. For a while I figured out the story, but then realized, no, I didn’t. That was a pleasant surprise. I did not see the second reveal at all. Yes, there are multiple reveals, resulting in a very interesting picture.

I know I have recently complained about how walking around a house in the dark with tense music for some length of time can turn anxiety into impatience, but the directors do a splendid job at keeping your attention throughout multiple, “what was that noise/shadow/figure?” sequences.

Most of the cast is fodder for nudity and body count, of course, as some things shall not go rewritten, but it doesn’t matter because there are only two key figures to the story: the first is the creepy mom (Mia Möller) who shows up in sequences that are reminiscent of Boris Karloff in Mario Bava’s 1963 I tre volti della paura (aka Black Sabbath). The other, of course, is the lead of Jenny. It’s hard to believe this is Jansson’s first role because she grabs it and plays full tilt. I’m sure it helps that the film is in her native Swedish (with English subtitles), but she gives a stellar performance, full of nuance and body language, from surprised to bored to, well, terror. Plus she is an incredibly attractive woman who has… huge tracks of land, and the director puts her in clothes that play that off well without making it only a cleavage-fest. That’s left for the other actors (though Jansson does get a chance to appear with ample bosom showing as well, early on during a dinner scene).

The look of the film, with its bluish colors and artistic flair – especially the dream and remembrance sequences – reminds me a bit of the Giallo cinema of the 1970 and ‘80s, such as the aforementioned Bava and Dario Argento, without all the strange angles and extreme zooming close-ups. After all, this is mean-what-you-say-say-what-you-mean Lutheran Sweden, not the pomp and circumstance Roman Catholic Italy. Even spectacle is more subtle up there. But gore? That’s another story. There is a long history of shock cinema coming from Sweden since the 1960s, enough to literally fill a book [HERE].

While an enjoyable film from beginning to end, it is not perfect. For example, one of the questions I have, and this isn’t just this one but in general: When something is a flashback, why do they include scenes with dialog where the person telling the story is not present? How would she know what was discussed, especially if they were talking about her and it’s a family secret? Okay, perhaps that is nitpicking, but that doesn’t mean I’m wrong, does it?

There have been a lot of films of late from the European Theatre that have just dove head first into the muck and mire of gore, shock and, well, more gore. Here, however, they have taken a step back and kept the blood (most of it “after” the act), but put the suspense and terror to the front. Doing this, they have denied none of the artistic license of shadows moving, smart editing, spooky lighting and solid acting.

But this is Jansson’s picture, and a good one to start her portfolio (and as of this writing it remains her only credit in IMDB). She doesn’t let her beauty stand in the way of giving a strong performance where she must grimace, look confused, and terrified; then there’s the obligatory shower scene, of course. I’m hoping she’s given more chances than modeling in fashion and men’s mags.

There are some nice extras included. The first is a 75 minute day-by-day shooting diary for the seven-day gig. One nice thing is they show you how they set up the shot, and then they actually show you the scene, so you can see what they are talking about (don’t forget to turn on the English captions for the extras). What’s also enjoyable is you get to see some more, well, body parts. Third, one occurance that is on this extra that isn’t in the film as much is Angelica’s bright smile.

The second is a four-minute piece of Hedberg meeting Angelica for the first time to see if she is right for the part. This is followed by a brief phone conversation (while driving!) with one of the other directors on how it felt like a positive experience. Obviously, it all worked out.

Of course there’s the trailer for the film, and a three-minute in-house video interview with Jansson dressed in total model mode at the test screening, discussing her experience. She is definitely bright (a degree in Environmental Science!), and she says though she won’t chase roles, she would be happy to do another. Good. She also posits that the film turned out better than she expected. Amen, sister.