Review: Guts on the Chainsaw

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2023
Images from the Internet

Guts on the Chainsaw
Directed by Ryan Cavalline
Legend Hunters Films
80 minutes, 2023
https://legendhuntersfilms.com/

“The hills are alive, with the sounds of shotguns…” as it once said in a Mad Magazine spoof, I believe. This is a case of genres-in-a-blender, but I will get more into that later.

Nova (Nikki Carlson) is a woman who is cleaning out from substance abuse after an earlier trauma, looking for a purpose to her life, and trying to escape from recurring nightmares that reflect the ending of The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974), with a chainsaw wielding man in a flesh mask (I do believe the mask was also used in Cavalline’s 2021 film Myths & Mutants), chasing her down a country road, swinging the ‘saw around wildly. This is an icon moment that’s repeated as much as vampires rising stiffly from a coffin, a la Nosferatu (1922).

So, what does Nova do, to help refocus her life? Take a multiple days-long solo walk around Beaver Run Dam’s forest area in the Delaware State Forest in Eastern Pennsylvania, a place she is not even familiar, and cannot read a map, naturally. And why is she roving around the woods sometimes without following trails, just randomly roaming? Oy. Even in reality, I would never, ever do that. Stick to the trails only (and stay off the moors…sorry, I was distracted…). Please note, I don’t mean this in a sexist way, I don’t think anyone should be traipsing around the deep woods by themselves, especially off trail. It is good for there to be at least two people in case something happens, such as an accident.

Nikki Carlson

As she walks, one can feel the backwoods inbred cannibals being just around the corner, even though there is no indication of it other than the dream. I do not think I am revealing anything, honestly, given the name of the film, the location, and the dream. Anyone with even a low level experience with these types of films can almost smell it. Now, to be clear, I am not in any way complaining. I honestly like these kinds of films.

Getting off my soapbox now, even pretty early on there are some nice murders by, yes, silent masked killers, such as a farm couple (the woman has amazing hair), though I wonder why their german shepherd did not come to their rescue. He just sort of vanishes (i.e., s/he’s not killed, for those who hate that sort of thing).

Intercut (no pun intended) into the story every so often is “news” clips about hikers that have gone either missing or murdered along the Appalachian Trail, for example. These are b-roll dramatizations narrated by Robert Slone (a director of documentaries whose topics include JFK’s assassination, Patty Hearst’s kidnapping and Vietnam). The film is, allegedly, based on “Pennsylvania folklore,” a pet topic of the director (does he know about the Small Town Monsters brand? May be right up his alley, though they deal more with cryptids than chainsaws).

Nova runs into some kooks along the way, such as a guy really into possum jerky (called The Hermit by someone), as well as an expositionary hiker who warns her about the people living in the woods, and how they were effected by radioactivity waste buried in the ground that had an effect on them. Radioactivity causing cannibal mutants? Sound familiar? He even says, “These mountains, they have eyes.” As that wise philosopher once said, “A nod’s as good as a wink to a blind bat” (say no more!).

The first half, at least, is mostly her walking and walking, with occasion action shots in-between. The action finally starts to really pick up when Nova is chased by those in the woods, and she cannot get reception on her flip-phone (when was this filmed?). While the appetizer killings are appealing, of course the main course will be in the third act when the action is revved up to 11 (sorry about the This is Spinal Tap reference…).

Like the Marilyn Burns character of Texas Chain Saw Massacre, Nova naturally winds up in the home of The Family, full of misfits, cross-dressers (glad this is not Tennessee), and other murderous types; however, the house is immaculate, unlike the Sawyers’. Time for revenge…and guns and masks and chainsaws. Plus, Nova gets to dress like Lara Croft at one point. That was an enjoyable visual.

The acting is pretty low-key, but not wooden (with one exception), not overly filled with dialogue, and just about everyone does their jobs nicely. The effects are a mixture of practical and digital, which mostly look okay, but the digital is pretty obvious, and the occasional practical at times (such as the guts in the first killing) looks questionable, though at others looks really good. For its budget, though, it is effective.

My main quibble about the film is sort of meta, in that there is little information on who played which role, which is true both in the end credits and on IMDB. That is why I had to be so vague in the descriptions above.

The film is obviously low budget, and there are some continuity errors, but overall, it was a good watch, especially the last third, despite the reliance on some well-worn tropes. It also sets itself up for a possible sequel, which I would gladly watch.

IMDB listing HERE

Review: Camp Blood First Slaughter

Text by Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2014
Images from the Internet

 

Camp Blood First Slaughter

Written and directed by Mark Polonia
Sterling Entertainment
Polonia Bros Entertainment
MVD Visual
78 minutes, 2014
www.sterlingmoviefactory.com
www.mvdvisual.com

Recently, I reviewed another Polonia film, Empire of the Apes [HERE], the film they made before this one, and I wonder how they got so much better in one film?

There are similarities, though: To begin, both films are based on other people’s franchises, in this case it being Brad Sykes’s killer clown in the woods Camp Blood trilogy, which I haven’t seen. Well, this one doesn’t continue it as much as kick it in the ass, which is part of what makes it fun. And then, like most other killer in mask camp films, this one takes place in the woods, much as did Empire.

What I like about this film is that Polonia takes the basic maniac in the woods story and mixes it up a bit. All the clichés of the genre are there, including the weird old guy warning them to leave which they of course ignore, and Polonia even combines it with the found footage phenomena that everyone seems to be jumping on over the past few years since Blair Witch Project (1999).

Sometimes when you have an indie film, because the Hollywood rules don’t always count and the training is more hands-on, directors can get away with more because the lines are more fluid. This happens right off the bat here. Did not see that first killing coming at all, and it was very impressive.

After a standard prologue where the woman belittles the man who gets killed before she does, as is also par as the story is a class of high schoolers – for once most of whom look like they actually could be that age or close – are sent into the woods by their teacher (Cindy Wheeler) to investigate (and film) what really happened. The point is to prove or disprove if there even is a Blood Lake killer clown with a machete hacking people. Okay, yes, same MO (i.e., mask and a onesey) as Jason and same locale as Jason and same weapon as Jason. I get it other reviewers, so let’s move on.

So three females and two males camp out, and then run their cameras constantly through the day. And night. With no outlets to recharge the cameras. It’s the modern equivalent of a Western where the six-shooter never runs out of bullets, I suppose. I know I have to charge mine about every two hours of usage. Again, the rules of micro-budget are different, that is apparent.

Talk around the campfire with one of them trying to scare the others with stories? Check. False scares (such as someone surprising someone in the dark)? Check. A real scare as the killer shows up after the false scare? Check.

Now, while a lot of this is frankly following the playbook, there is also an undercurrent element which has, well, if not originality, then definitely a shake-up of the standard. There is some playing with time, you definitely get a preview of what is going to happen to our hapless students, and of course, what are left are the video cameras, including the one worn by the killer on the side of its mask. And the ending is actually a bit of a surprise.

While this isn’t the greatest of films, it’s miles above the Empire of the Apes (the one Polonia did before this one!). The gore is a cheesy a mix of digital and appliance. Despite being a bit hackneyed, such as using a machete with part of the blade cut out to look like it’s chopping through a body part, it’s still a fun ride to watch. The digital blood spatter is, however, just bad. There most of the other reviews I’ve read have it right; fakest I’ve seen since Empire, which was even way more fakey.

Again, micro-budgets produce interesting vibes, and sometimes even the most ridiculous become… well, not credible, but acceptable-though-noticeable. For example, when one teen is getting her head chopped off, and blood is pouring from her mouth (they must have gone through a lot of blood capsules in this film as everyone bleeds profusely from the mouth), she appears to be laughing as she’s coughing up blood. It actually made me smile, and she was one of my favorite characters.

Now to some quickies: You can tell when the POV is the killer’s other than the students because you can hear the heavy breathing, like it was the end of a marathon; I kept saying, dude, you need to work out more and do some cardio. Every couple of minutes you see the screen scrambled with a szzhzhzhz sound, like interference, to remind the viewer that it is supposed to be watching video after the fact. I know my digi camera never does that, but okay. I figured out the killer pretty fast, dismissed it, and then remembered at the end as was right; however, it’s not that obvious and it may surprise you. It seems that every victim picked up the wooden Camp Blood sign just before they become ex-teens. Again, no nudity or even the suggestion of it (though an affair is rumoured). Other than chapter choices, there are no extras on this.

Some of the Polonia stock players make appearances, such as Jeff Kirkendall (also a genre filmmaker) as the loony warning them away, Ken Van Sant as the sheriff that finds the cameras, and punk rock drummer (yes, I will always use that descriptor because it is cool) Steve Diasparra as the Mayor (and one other role). Most of the other cast have either this as their only credit, or just a couple or few others with Polonia or Kirkendall.

Yeah, the acting and dialog are somewhat stilted, but the message comes across without the viewer having to use the mind too much, and sometimes that’s all one needs, right? The film is a decent length, being not too long, but with enough time to tell the story, which is obviously written for a sequel.