Review: Satan’s Little Helper

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2022
Images from the Internet

Satan’s Little Helper
Directed by Jeff Lieberman
Intrinsic Value Films; Synapse Films; MVD Entertainment
96 minutes, 2004 / 2022
www.MVDEntertainment.com/
Yeah, I know, the focus of this film is on Halloween night, and we are well into the seemingly never-ending Xmas season. But my assumption is that whoever is reading this is a horror fan, and it is Halloween all year ‘round. I will take this film in that – er – spirit.

The main focus here is on the Whooly family, who live on the fictious Bell Island. There’s the mom, Merrill (Amanda Plumber!!!), Dean (Wass Stevens), sister theater majors Jenna (Katheryn Winnick; Lagertha from “The Vikings”) and her new boyfriend Alex (Stephen Graham) who have come home for the holiday, and especially nine-year-old Douglas, aka Dougie (Alexander Brickel).

Joshua Annex

Dressed like the debbil for Halloween, Dougie is obsessed with a handheld video game called “Satan’s Little Helper,” where his avatar helps Satan kill people. The game is above 8-bit, but lacking by today’s standard. He is fixated on this theme, and hopes to meet the red guy on Halloween and help him. Meanwhile, he is totally possessive of his sister, and is not happy about Alex (something tells me a future action will occur).

While Winnick dresses like a Renaissance slut (and lookin’ good in it) and Alex decides to also dress like Satan hoping to bond with Dougie, while Dougie is walking the Halloween Day streets looking for the real Satan. But he does find the next best thing: a non-speaking serial killer in a devilish mask (Joshua Annex). Actually, the mask looks great. He goes to various houses, kills the occupants, and puts them out in front of the house as Halloween decorations, right in public. In this way, Dougie fulfills his fantasy of being this Satan’s little helper.

Alexander Brickel, Annex

While everything that has happened before is enjoyable (other than a pet killing), it really picks up in the second act, when Dougie brings the killer home, and he is mistaken for someone else, so is incorporated into the family unit. Yet, still, he manages to get around the town with Dougie long enough to cause numerous deaths and damage; Dougie so fixated, he has trouble distinguishing reality from the game, so he does not believe the carnage to be real, even as he watches, and in some ways, participates.

The devil comes home to roost when he returns to the Whooly house – er – and all hell breaks loose. And let me add, Dougie is not the sharpest stick in da woods. Actually, none of the cast seems to be fully conscious. For example, and I will not give it away, but there is a thematic device is that is used twice. People will probably figure it out at least the second time (I did on the first, but I’m a stable genius). You would think one of the characters who was involved with the first one would recognize the pattern for the second one. But nooooooo.

Katheryn Winnick, Annex

Despite this, I have to say this is the first slasher film I have seen in a while that made me smile in its imaginative take. Yes, there is a sense of humor to the whole thing, but my enjoyment went beyond that.

The SFX is practical (thanks to a low budget) and looks really great. The acting is also worth noting (did I not say Amanda “Honey Bunny” Plumber?). The Dougie character is a bit annoying, but I do believe it is not the fault of the actor. The cast also works well together.

Amanda Plumber (far left), Annex, etc.

To start off the extras is a full commentary by the director, Jeff Lieberman. His tone in kind of flat and monotone here, unlike on some of the other additions, but the information is worth the listen. He is still an engaging speaker (though the sound was a bit low and I had to turn the volume way up), and there are a lot of good stories – just the various locations and how they were all edited together alone was fun – also giving some info on the film that I did not catch during the first viewing. Worth the watch.

Next is a “Behind-the-Scenes of Satan’s Little Helper” featurette (5 min), obviously done in 2004, when the film was released. With narration, they dissect three scenes and show the viewer how the magic was done. Fun. This is followed by another featurette, “The Devil and the Details: Making Satan’s Little Helper (33 min). This brings us into 2022, giving us interviews with the director, other crew members such as the guy who designed the mask, and an adult Dougie (who’s “look” is similar to middle period Weird Al Yankovic). Interspersed with scenes from the film that are relevant to the conversation, it makes for some compelling viewing, unlike many other featurettes I have seen of late.

“Mister Satan's Neighborhood” is a tour of the filming locations with director Jeff Lieberman (32 min). Showing some towns in Westchester, New York, and Connecticut, Lieberman (holding the killer’s Satan mask throughout, even talking to it) takes a very detailed look at some of the locations, but also tells some (in Dougie’s words) cool anecdotes about filming in these spots. More detailed than most, though he did not show any of the Maine spots. Filmed in 2022 by Synapse Films, this is, again, one of the better location shot mini-docs I have seen of late. The last extra is the film’s promotional trailer, which gives away too much of the fun.

Lieberman’s history is that he is mainly known for four films out of his career in the horror genre: Squirm (1976), Blue Sunshine (1978), Just Before Dawn (1981), and this one. His films are a bit quirky, lean toward black humor, and are exceptionally enjoyable. That is especially true for Satan’s Little Helper.

IMDB listing HERE https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0380687/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0

Older trailer without as much given away:

Review: Night of the Tommyknockers

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2022
Images from the Internet

Night of the Tommyknockers (aka Tommyknockers)
Directed by Michael Su
Mahal Empire; Mezek Films; FilmCore; Wildlife Command Center; Alien Donut Films; Gravitas Ventures
87 minutes, 2022
www.facebook.com/nightofthetommyknockers/ 
www.facebook.com/groups/514328295444570

Usually, the Western is its own genre. It is rare that it mixes with others, especially horror. That’s not to say it doesn’t happen. For example, there are some gruesome scenes in Bone Tomahawk (2015) and The Scarlet Worm (2011), or even mixing sci-fi in films like Cowboys & Aliens (2011) and if a bit of a stretch, but Valley of the Gwangi (1969).

Well, rare or not, this new release combines horror taking place in the western genre. So naturally, there are shoot-outs, bank robbers, miners, farming folk, and the like. And then there are the Tommyknockers. Urbandictonary.com defines them as “Miners who have been trapped in cave-ins and pound on the rocks for rescue. It is believed that the ghosts of these miners go on knocking in the mine shafts long after the victims have died.”

That makes sense, as the story begins with some miners finding gold in a shaft after using dynamite, and release a host of said ‘Knockers” on the town. The voracious creatures will eat anything that moves, from horses to humans. They kind of look like the creatures in The Descent (2005), only crouched over like the Universal Pictures’ wolfman of the 1940s, and covered in white fur. Once they are on the loose, the local town is invaded by them at nights.

Bill Victor Arucan, Richard Grieco, Wesley Cannon, Angela Clark

Walking into the mess looking for a bank to rob is the Dirk Gang, led by, well, anti-hero Dirk (Richard Grieco) doing his best poncho wearin’ Clint Eastwood impression, and including Lucky (Robert LaSardo), Maoma (Bill Victor Arucan, who has been in a lot of James Balsamo films of late), Clay (Wesley Cannon), and Betty (Angela Cole). They arrive at nightfall, where all the townfolk that remain are gathered together in the saloon (of course), with Marshal Steed (a gravel-voiced Tom Sizemore); yes, this is a strong cast.

This film is a bit different than the other Michael Su films I have seen as of late. Here, half way in, there is a few killings, but very little gore. There is much more exposition than I have seen, thereby additional dialogue. I am waiting for the savagery to begin in earnest.

By the third act, things pick up immensely. The previous Su films I have watched (and totally enjoyed; you can search my keywords by the director’s name) took a different formula, where the carnage was pretty consistent throughout the film, messing with the typical Act 1 through 3, as I have mentioned in a previous review, but here, it is more of a traditional style (though there are some decent attacks without much gore), culminating in an intestine chomping, neck biting, limb munching third act. Was it worth the wait? Sure!

Tom Sizemore (far right)

Grieco does fine as the strong, quiet type, and Sizemore seems stiff (both physically and vocally), though his acting is fine. Maybe him and Michael Madsen can move to the Screen Actors Retirement Home? It is time. LaSardo is almost the comic relief of the film, and does a smash up job (sometimes literally) as his character lives up to his name. The cast is well assembled, again with two strong women at the front. I really love that about Su, he always has don’t-take-no-shit women, here led by Cole and Jessica Morris, as a townie photographer.

There are some other noteworthy cameos from the B-film world that I was happy to see, such as Sheri Davis, podcaster Shawn C. Phillips, and especially Elissa Dowling, among others. And am I crazy, or did Arucan play two roles, including one of the miners?

There are some nice explosions here as in all Su’s films, and there is a slight sepia tone, which seems to be the “in” thing to do with gothic or western releases these days. The SFX seems to be practical and looks good. The one thing I noticed that I thought was weird is that while the last two acts take place during a single night, occasionally it looked like sunlight coming through the windows. Ahh, low budget filmmaking, though its look mostly manages to push past its budgetary envelope.

Be sure to watch the credits for additional fun.

IMDB listing HERE

Review: Bloody Muscle Body Builder in Hell

 Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2022
Images from the Internet

Bloody Muscle Body Builder in Hell
Directed by Shinichi Fukazawa
Dragodon Pictures; Visual Vengeance; Wild Eye Releasing; MVD Entertainment
62 minutes, 1995 / 2012 / 2022
www.wildeyereleasing.com
www.MVDEntertainment.com/
Originally filmed in Japan (with English subtitles) in 1995, this was not released until 2012. Presently, it has finally been put out in a clearer print (from the master material) on Blu-ray. And it retains its original amazing name. The first time I heard it, I knew I had to see it from that alone. This is the director’s only film (other than one unconnected acting gig), including lead actor, writer, editor, etc. It smacks of a vanity project which means it can be cheesy fun or an ego trip. I am looking forward to finding out.

After a prologue that features a bloody murder regarding the protagonist’s father, who died young, we are introduced to Naoto (the director). He’s the titular bodybuilder. Meeting up with his ex-girl friend, Mika, they decide to check out his dad’s home, where there is a secret buried under the floor. Joining them is psychic Mizuguchi, as Mika is fascinated by ghosts and wants to photograph them. Naturally, Naoto does not believe in the ethereal entities.

Once the trio get into the house, all hell starts a poppin’ as they are locked in against an evil and vengeful ghost. I have seen this compared to The Evil Dead (1981), and I can kind of see why: they are isolated in a relatively small space of many rooms, but each at Manhattan single room apartment sizes. The malevolent spirit wants to inhabit fresh bodies, and even though there are only three of them, manages to do some damage. There is a great amount of gore and also a large amount of humor, whether that is intentional or not, I am not sure.

Is the body builder (the “Ash Williams” of the story) strong enough to endure the “wonton” onslaught? (Note: a year from now, that joke will probably be confusing.) He’s got the wise-cracks near the end, the scared look at the beginning (though not to Ash level…he’s a body builder), which builds some confidence in one’s own strength.

The film is just an hour long, but the last 40 minutes is pretty non-stop, filled with guts, gore, and some stop motion photography here and there. It is totally and beautifully gruesome. Sure, the visuals are grainy as hell, being shot on VHS and all.

One thing that confuses me, and this is true of many stuck-in-the-house films, if the windows are locked, why not throw a chair through it? And if the front door is locked, damn, they have both an ax and shotgun, so why not blast the lock? Nope, just grunge against the window frame and try to kick in (out?) the door. This is the equivalent nonsense of running upstairs rather than out the door that is quite prevalent, and is a pet peeve of many a horror fan.

There are lots of bonus material is included with the Blu-ray of course, being from Visual Vengeance, both digital and physical. For example, there are two commentary tracks, one being with directors and fans Adam Green (Hatchet, Frozen) and Joe Lynch (Shudder’s Creepshow), the other with Japanese film historian James Harper. There is also a new interview with the director, Fukazawa. Then there is a Special Effects featurette, Outtakes, Behind the Scenes and Archival image galleries, the original Japanese Archival Trailers, and some Visual Vengeance trailers, as well.

On the physical side, there is a first pressing limited edition slipcase, a folded poster, a four-page liner notes booklet by Matt Desiderio of the Internet’s “Horror Boobs,” a vintage-style laminated Video Store Rental Card, a reversible sleeve with the original Japanese home video art, and a sheet of stickers from olde tyme video stores. That’s a lot.

The SFX, all of which is practical, works really well, even when it looks ridiculous at times. It is quite lovingly over the top, such as a knife in the back of the head popping out an eye, and then pulled back in when the knife is pulled out. True there is a limited amount of cast of 5, but there manages to be nearly non-stop action once it truly begins. It does not rely on a whole bunch of exposition, like most films today, but you get to know the relationships – at least what the viewer needs to know in reference to this film – and how they interact and move the plot forward.

For an only-time director using earlier and less easily manageable technology, Fukazawa manages miracles here. With some exceptions, the film is shot well, especially considering the miniscule space in which they were filming, and the editing is incredibly effective.

Whether or not it is “The Japanese Evil Dead” or not, it is a whole lot of fun.

IMDB listing HERE

Review: Moonchild (2-disc: Blu-ray + CD Soundtrack Edition)

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2022
Images from the Internet

Moonchild
Directed by Todd Sheets
Visual Vengeance; Wild Eye Releasing; Jackalope Media; Extreme Entertainment; MVD Entertainment
102 minutes, 1994 / 2022
www.wildeyereleasing.com
www.MVDEntertainment.com/
Director Todd Sheets was known early in his career as a fantastical yet grainy cult-god filmmaker. After a health scare, he came back stronger than ever, with the likes of Clownado (2019), Bonehill Road (2017), Dreaming Purple Neon (2016), and House of Forbidden Secrets (2013).   

This film, however, is from his early cult days, and is well-beloved by his followers. Honestly, I have never seen it till now, like much of his early work, so I am looking forward to checking it out. This was originally shot on sVHS, so it is grainy, but this release was taken from the master tape by Sheets himself. This is the first time it has been released on Blu-ray.

Auggi Alverez

In much like the Mad Max franchise, we are introduced to a dystopian future of the Chicago area (though filmed in Kansas City) where a group called Sodality (meaning “Brotherhood” or “Community”; also, a devotional association of Roman Catholic laity) run the dictatorial government of the United Nations of America; I guess more like Gilead but almost post-apocalyptic as we see a run-down city that drives cars from the 1970s and ‘80s (it was released in 1994, so it makes sense in that way). Sodality is run by Kronos (Tom Berg), a blubbery too-white guy (think of 1971’s The Omega Man) who has 666 drawn onto his body.

Government scientists have an inner-city compound where they experiment on creating super soldiers, such as one who is a cyborg whose outer clothes makes him look a bit like a cockroach (sans extra limbs, but adds a body chainsaw). He is one of three of these hybrids that are in search of our protagonist, Jacob Stryker (Auggi Alvarez).

Dave Miller

Stryker is also a hybrid, but has retained his consciousness. He escapes from the Republicans…I mean the Sodality. He is in search of his son, Ethan (Stefan Hilts), who is being held captive somewhere. And while he is on the run after an action scene right at the start, he manages to hook up with the underground, run by Talon (Dave Miller), who mostly dress like the Arrakisians in Dune, with scarfs and hooded robes. Speaking of which, you know Stryker is the hero because of his knee-length, open military jacket (belonging to Alverez’s dad), reminiscent of The Matrix franchise.

After his experimentation results, Stryker can also turn into a semi-werewolf-like creature, hence the title, though it’s a misnomer, even though he does not need the moon to actually “change.” He’s more like The Hulk in that he turns when he is angry or in a fight. Oh, and did I mention there is a bomb in his stomach scheduled to go off in 72 hours? How Snake Pliskin!

Kathleen McSweeney, Rebecka Rose

He sets off with new love interest (his wife was killed) that took less than a day, Athena (Kathleen McSweeney) and some others: Talon, boppy Weasel (Kyrie King), Rocky (Julie King), and Teela (Rebecka Rose). From this point it is more or less a travelogue where they meet different groups, each one dresses alike within the group. Quite like The Warriors (1979).

It is worth noting that despite the low budget, the sets are amazing, the lighting and shadows work well, and the editing is spot on.

Carol Barta

Now, as for extras, oh my god, there are so many. This may take days to get through. It starts with two commentaries. The first is with Todd Sheets and star Auggi Alverez. These two are friends, and their commentary is easy and breezy, yet still informative. I really enjoyed this one. The other commentary is Sheets and Rob Hauschild of Visual Vengeance, who released the Blu-ray. That’s right, if you watch the film and the commentaries, it’s like watching the film three times. The second one is a bit more of a technical view, details on filming process, and Sheets’ career, but it is interesting for those who like this side of the method. There is very little overlap with the other commentary, which is worth a note. While this Blu-ray is the Director’s Cut, it also Includes the alternate VHS version of Moonchild as originally released, I respectfully bowed out of watching it a fourth time.

The first featurette is the documentary, “Wolf Moon Rising: The Making of Moonchild” (32 min). This is archival footage including an entire newscast about the production, backstage scenes and the creation of the music. There is no narration, just some interviews with the cast at crew at the time of filming. And speaking of “back then,” this is followed by “Original BTS Casts and Crew Interviews” (9 min) that is pure candy. The “Deleted Ending” is an extra fight scene, but honestly, the film’s ending as it stands now is much better.

The first of the last two biggies is the short film “Sanguinary Desires” (1988, I believe; 13 min), where a group of people are offered $10K to spend the night in this series of rooms, but of course, as the title indicates, there is lots of blood and guts involved as they meet up with various forms of the undead. Will any survive? The second, of course, is the additional disc that is the soundtrack of the film, which is quite good, including the expected synth pieces and the orchestrated songs as well. Worth a listen.

Then there are others like the original VHS trailer and one for one of my fave Sheets releases, Bonehill Road (another werewolf film), a music video by death metal band Descension of “Burn the Church,” and other Visual Vengeance trailers (including the new one for this film), which always plays whenever you put in the disc, and English subtitles upon request.

On the non-digital side, there is a reversible sleeve featuring the original VHS art, a four-page liner notes booklet by Matt Desiderio of “Horror Boobs,” stick your own VHS sticker sheet, and a folded mini-poster

One point in the full film that confuses me is that the terribly intentionally overacting bounty hunters, especially Lothos (Harry Rose) and Medusa (Carol Barta) from the Sodality – It reminds me of the villains from the old “The Power Rangers” series – seem desperate and will use any method to catch Stryker, but if he had a bomb inside of him, why bother, as he will be dead in a couple of days? Also, the fight choreography is kind of funky, and there is a lot of it. But my big bugaboo about the film is not enough transformations. But then again on the good side, it is important to remember how low-budget this was, and some mental leeway has to give way for the zeitgeist of the film as a whole.

All-in-all, though, this was a fun ride, from beginning to end. But I can totally understand why it is a cult classic, and rightfully so, in my opinion.

IMDB listing HERE

Review: L.A. AIDS Jabber

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2022
Images from the Internet

L.A. AIDS Jabber (aka Jabber)
Directed by Drew Godderis
Visual Vengeance; Wild Eye Releasing; MVD Entertainment
78 minutes, 1994 / 2022
www.wildeyereleasing.com
www.MVDEntertainment.com/
This relatively new imprint of Wild Eye Releasing, called Visual Vengeance, is an interesting idea. They deal with lowest of low budget archival films, usually shot on VHS or some other older medium, without correction. The stories are goofy, but usually not as much as the acting. And for all of that, I say ‘Woot Woot!!” It is great that these films are getting to see the light of day again. There are so many VV films that I have never heard of before, though I have read the name of this one before in indie horror mags. I am looking forward to seeing it.

Jason Majik

The cheesy synth score by John Martin Turner during the opening credits tells you exactly where you are in the indie horror food chain. The main character, who is also the antagonist, is 19-year-old Jeff Roberts (Jason Majik). He definitely has some borderline mental issues, especially with anger. And now he has been diagnosed with AIDS; wouldn’t he have HIV first, especially since he believes he contracted it from a particular prostitute six months previous? Saywhat?

His anger is having an effect on his world, including getting fired by his boss (Fred Nugent); his physician, Dr. White (Craig Harris) and a social worker (Victoria Crane) are worried about him, that he will hurt himself or someone else, including his girlfriend (Mitzy Tony), but they will not call the police. Saywhat?

Meanwhile, Jeff is making a list to take revenge upon, including the prostitute, by, yes, injecting them with his blood. But wait, if the prostitute (Susan Para) already has AIDS to his belief, what would be the purpose of injecting her with his blood? Saywhat?

Marcy Lynn, Tony Donangelo

Unstable Jeff starts going around stabbing people on his list, as well as random pedestrians. The cops (Marcy Lynn, Tony Donangelo, and then Justin Mack) almost catch him but he escapes. I bring this up because in an alley chase scene you can clearly see the shadow of the cameraperson, which made me smile. I love low-budget films just for reasons like that.

When Jabby calls a feisty female television reporter, Judith Campbell (Joy Yurada), to threaten her, she has a co-worker include the police on the call to try and nab him. Yet when the cops come a-callin’ to her house to see if she wants protection, she questions how they know about it. Saywhat?

But, to be honest, I am impressed by the sub-stories, like the cops who are trying to get him, and the reporter who is in danger from needle-boy. The film actually has more depth than I was expecting, despite some of the logical fallacies, such as the ones I mentioned above. There are others as well, just not as glaring.

Despite being taken from master SD tape, the film is grainy as all get out, especially the outside night shots (the time capsule imagery of seedy L.A. is enjoyable), and towards the end there is video noise that made me both grateful that it is uncommon with current digital technology, and ironically a little bit nostalgic. The acting runs from pretty flat to over-emoting, but that is to be expected.

The film ends exactly like one might think it would be concerning our AIDS gent (well, I did, anyway), but there is still a nice O. Henry-ish twist at the end that had me laughing and a bit confused.

Majik, Joy Yurada

Now, the bonus features of this Blu-ray are extensive, all done within the past two years. It starts with the “Director’s Introduction to Movie” (1 min), a nothing burger of thanks to the cast and distributor. The real meat starts with the full-length commentary with Godderis, Wild Eye Releasing’s Rob Hauschild, and low-budget director Mark Polonia (e.g., Camp Blood First Slaughter; Shark Encounters of the Third Kind;Virus Shark). Sometimes there is a bit of just describing what is happening on the screen, but that is only a small part of it. Most of it is pretty interesting as there is descriptions of what was going on with the scenes, talking about L.A. at that time, and explains some of the Saywhat? moments, like the disappearance of a particular character. It is a good schooling for indie, low-budget filming. Amusingly, no one mentions the shadow in the alleyway.

And if that wasn’t enough, next up is “Lethal Injection: The Making of L.A. AIDS Jabber,” with the director (10 min). While I found the full commentary interesting, this covers mostly new ground, and is just long enough to keep the interest going. It makes sense the next interview is “Bleeding The Pack: An Interview with Lead Actor Jason Majik” (29 min). It’s a bit rambling, but he discusses how he was chosen for the role, what it was like shooting the film, and he fills in some gaps which even Godderis is vague. He also talks about the post-filming in his life, including seeing it for the first time while tripping. While it’s kind of unfocused, and maybe because of it, it kept my interest.

The next featurette is “L.A. AIDS Jabber - 2021 Locations Visit.” (16 min). I always find these before and after location scenes fascinating. It is led by Godderis, and things are almost indistinguishable from 30 years ago. Following is an “Interview with Blood Diner Director Jackie Kong” (9 min). As an actor, Godderis co-started in Blood Diner, which became legend. Honestly, I did not watch it. Nor did I watch an interview with Godderis’ son who appeared briefly in the film when he was 3-years-old, called “Growing Up On Set: Justin Godderis” (9 min). However, I was curious about the next, “Actress Joy Yurada Interview” (7 min). She played the reporter. Some of it is a bit rambling, but it was fun when she pulled out a binder with the film’s notes and her lines.

The next talking head is the “Through the Lens: An Interview with Cameraman Rick Bradach” (6 min). It’s okay, but not very engaging to me. “Interview with Actor Gene Webber” (4 min) follows. He was a secondary police character, and doesn’t really bring much to the table. The last two digital extras are a photo gallery consisting of behind-the-scenes shots of the first day of shooting, and the new version of the trailer.

On the physical side, there are liner notes in a booklet titled “Rage in the Blood” by Tony Strauss of Weng's Chop magazine, a collectible folded mini-poster, stick your own VHS stickers, and a reversible BR sleeve featuring the original VHS art

This is Drew Godderis’ only directorial endeavor, though he’s acted in a number of well-known B horror films. When it came out, Godderis personally distributed the film on VHS. I am aware it has been decades since this was released, but I wonder if he will ever direct more, please.

IMDB listing HERE

Two Quirky Reviews: Bloodlines: The Cojones Virus; and Evil Head: Dead by Dong

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2022|
Images from the Internet

The Cojones Virus
Directed by Evan Jacobs
Anhedenia Films Unlimited
46 minutes; 2022
https://movieweb.com/anhedenia-films-on-demand-evan-jacobs/

Lately I have been reviewing some heavy, psychological and arty films. Well, now it is time to kick back and watch something completely ridiculous to cleanse the palate. And what better than swollen testicles with a mind of their own. Body parts with attitude is not new, with the likes of Teeth (2007), She Kills (2015), and Killer Rack (2017). 

We meet our bubba-esque protagonist, Chad (Mike Hartsfield) as he is on a road trip. He’s a salesman, and he is on the phone talking smack to his coworkers, and even his mom. Not the most likeable shlub in the world. He’s the redneck who wears a cap that reads “Ask me about my butthole.” That kinda guy.

Stopping at a rest stop, he is bitten by a bug that – er – gives him a bug: the titular Cojones Virus. At first he’s sick to his stomach (did they really need to show close-ups of his vomiting?), then watch him writhe (while driving) in pain as his testes engorge. But once they’re the size they are going to be (big enough to sling over his shoulder), he calms down and even has two-way conversations with them.

Through this all, Chad is shoving gum in his mouth, and smoking incessantly, sometimes three at a time (including occasionally one of three with filter out). And he talks to himself a lot (exposition for the viewer). In fact, though there are other voices, Chad is the only one we see on screen the entire time.

Yes, this film is quite ridiculous, but it is purposely so, although it would be just as effective it was under 30 minutes. Listening to him whine for most of the second half got a bit tiresome, though at the same time understandable: I would whine too if I was in his position.

While there are a couple of scenes at rest stops or on the side of the road as Chad pukes, nearly all of the film is from the passenger seat, focused on driver Chad (though there are also numerous shots of the sometimes-beautiful scenery of Arizona; could Chad represent the right wing that is ruining that state as a social commentary?).

Some of the director’s other films include the Death Toilet franchise (you heard me; I think there is five in the series), and a documentary about local 1990s hardcore music, Orange County Hardcore Scenester (2013).

I don’t really know how I feel about this film. I like the premise, and that it is goofy AF, but the length is a bit daunting. If you get a chance to see it, give it a try. You might find yourself on the ball.

IMDB listing HERE

 

 

Evil Head: Dead by Dong
Directed by Thomas Smith
Fighting Owl Films; Troma Entertainment
9 minutes; 2022

From the excellent work I have seen by director Thomas Smith, mostly it has been in the PG-rating arena, such as The Night Shift (2010) and Demon Squad (2019). As with the others, there is a strong comic element to the demonic story.

We meet the two leads and only two living characters, Carla (Erin Lilley) and Steve (Scott Alan Warner), as they are mid-hooking up from a blind date. Sneaking off to get some “inspiration” (i.e., an erection), he accidently spills some mojo juice from a bottle on a two-sided (of various sizes), dildo that Carla seems to have left on her bed. Somehow, this gets the dildo demonically possessed with a one-sided mind of its own.

The dildo attacks several holes and sprays green goo ejaculation, while Carla and Steve fight back as they can. Are these two destined for each other? Will the evil dildo win its bid for sexual domination? These are all explored in the story, which had me laughing.

Some of the images are dark blue in hue, but all of it is easy to see, and if you like soft-core adult content even with little nudity presented, this is a hoot.

IMDB listing HERE

View full film free by clicking below:

Review: Dr. Lamb

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 202
Images from the Internet

Dr. Lamb (aka Goh yeung yee sang)
Directed by Danny Lee; Billy Hin-Shing Tang
Grand River Film Ltd.; Heroes United Films Ltd.; Unearthed Classics; MVD Entertainment
89 minutes, 1992 / 2022
www.unearthedfilms.com
www.MVDVisual.com/
Hong Kong is not well known for having serial killers making headlines (there have been two as of this writing). This story is somewhat loosely based on one of them. Released in Hong Kong in Cantonese (also available on this Blu-ray in Mandarin or English subtitles), it became one the highest grossing horror films in the city, gathering a Category III Rating (adults only). This new 30 Anniversary Edition is completely uncut, taken from the original negative in 2K, so it is nice and crip.

Simon Yam

The main characters here are Lamb, Lam Gor-Yu (Simon Yam) as the InCel taxi-driver/photographer wannabe turned serial killer, and the main police officer chasing him, Inspector Lee (co-director Danny Lee). The change from Lam to Lamb (I will call him Lam going forward) was most likely a mistake on the English translation, or to keep hidden somewhat that it was a foreign film. At the time this was released, it was towards the end of the great Chinese influx of films, that were mainly Kung Fu or police dramas. With waning interest, and the closing of many Chinese-exclusive theaters (I went to one in Chinatown in New York on occasion with Shaw Bros. aficionado Mariah Aguiar that was torn down shortly after this film came out), and Blockbuster-type superstores that did not show these Category III films very often and were usually grainy or heavily edited, there was a reason to lean to the avoidance of foreign releases. The original Cantonese title translates as “Hong Kong Female Butcher.” But it was the start of a new resurgence of Extreme Asian cinema from Hong Kong.

The film is nicely broken up into consecutive sections. The first deals with Lam’s childhood in an overcrowded city, living with his extended family, including parents, siblings, aunt, uncle and cousins, all in the same small apartment. Even as a pre-teen, the sexual component of his personality was already showing signs of, well, being weird.

Danny Lee

The second section is post-murders, and he and his whole family are arrested, though they know it is Lam who is the killer. He is abused by the police (something quite common in that period, from what I know) and even his own kin.

In the third, when the police focus on Lam, we get to see his crimes in quite shocking detail, including butchery with a saw and scalpel (hence the title), as he keeps body part “mementos.” Yes, this is a pretty gruesome third act that gives it the Category III rating. Definitely not for the squeamish as there are close-ups of his actions. This is a gorehound’s dream that is worth the wait.

And as malevolent as Lam is, it actually doesn’t come close to what the real killer did in his crimes. This would definitely be considered a “Video Nasty” in Britain at the time of its initial release in 1992.

Comic relief cops

There is definitely a level of social commentary mixed in with the story, especially with the abuse Lam had suffered through most of his life, between the tight-quartered family who were not nice people, and the police violence against him. But it is not overt and does not hit the viewer over the head with it. It also does not make any excuses for Lam’s extreme actions.

Yet, with all the violence and body parts, the film is quite beautifully shot and edited, especially during the murder sequences, with odd angles, cool red lights, and a focus on the horrific action. I also enjoyed the scenes in the rain, which reminded me of Blade Runner (1982). Speaking of Runner, as Lam drives around in his taxi, we see some scenes of the city, full of bright neon lights. It is a bit overwhelming and yet beautiful at the same time. Reminds me in some ways of the lights over the bar at CBGB, times 10.

There are some really nice extras added to the Blu-ray, including a full-length commentary by Art Ettinger, editor of Ultra Violent magazine, and Bruce Holecheck, of Cinema Arcana). Their commentary is a bit dry, but their history of the genre is riveting, as they discuss the real case, the history of Category III films, and the backgrounds of the directors, the cast and the crew. Then there are the documentaries and interviews.

First up is “Lamb to the Slaughter: An interview with filmmaker Gilbert Po, who initiated the Dr. Lamb film project” (20 min). In English, Po explains with history and humor, how the idea of the film originated, about the Category III rating, filming anecdotes, and the placement of the film in the culture of both Hong Kong and the rest of the world. Next up is “Three Times the Fear: Film Critic James Mudge on the Golden Era of Category III” (21 min.). This could have been pretty mundane, but it is kept interesting because rather just focusing on the overview of the genre, he mainly discusses the film’s placement in the culture, and how the two leads of this film also did many other Category III films, thereby subtly bringing up multiple others.

Then there is “Cut and Run: Film academic Sean Tierney aka The Silver Spleen remembers Dr. Lamb” (16 min). I was a bit nervous about this one due to the term “academic” and I thought it was going to be dry as dust, but Tierney is actually quite engaging, and I totally respect that he does not just glorify the film, but also points at some flaws (in his opinion), which is actually rare in these commentaries. The last featurette is the “Atomic TV Interview with Simon Yam” (9 min), which is the only one of the four documentary extras that is archival, from a 2000 Anime convention. Yam discusses his overall career.

The last two extras are a bunch of trailers from Unearthed, all but one has been reviewed on this blog. The other is a nice glossy color print collector’s booklet that comes in the clam shell.

It is no surprise to me that this had a Category III rating. There is a lot of nudity, and torture; typical Unearthed fare, which is a strong compliment.

IMDB listing HERE