Review: Hollywood Werewolf

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2023
Images from the Internet

Hollywood Werewolf
Directed by James Balsamo
Acid Bath Productions
91 minutes, 2023
www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100063503922846

As I have said before, when you get a James Balsamo film, you get consistency: bizarre silliness, puns, cameos, and it rarely rises above ridiculous. And yet, every time I hear a new one is out, I get excited. If you are looking for some deep, serious narratives, meaningful acting, and arty motifs, well, you just have not been paying attention.

Andy Dick, James Balsamo

For his latest, he has managed to rope in Andy Dick (most known for “NewsRadio” and bad behaviour) as the titular Elliot Wolf. He was a child star who hit the lowest points possible, not including being a werewolf (which we see right off the bat). But it was this that led him to the lead part of (a different, as is pointed out multiple times) visionary director Elliot Wolf’s new film, Hollywood Werewolf.

The premise of this film is a mock documentary by director Wolf about actor/werewolf Wolf. Confusing? I think not. This style sets up well for the inclusion of many and many a cameo by cult musicians, actors and filmmakers, a motif that is omnipresent in Balsamo’s films.

Documentary films tend to be short segments strung together in a common theme or topic. This gives a chance for multiple people to ad lib and have some obvious fun as they promote their own characters, such as “Saved by the Bell’s” Troy Fromin’s audition tape for (director) Wolf’s next art film, “The Life and Death of an Avocado.” Mixed in are insults to (actor) Wolf by the likes of a fired cue-card guy, his limo driver (who turned Wolf in when he killed three strippers, but still drove him to the trial), and his poor bedraggled manager, Marvin Orange (Balsamo regular and voice actor for multiple Manga films, G. Larry Butler).

Then, of course, there are interviews with (actor) Wolf’s ex-girlfriends, whose talking heads are mixed with “sex tape” scenes of them in a shower, covering themselves with various food substances, such as chocolate sauce and baked beans/hotdogs (surely to show up in Balsamo’s nudity Sexy Time collections).

I will say that some of the jokes that are bandied about throughout generally work pretty well here, many dealing with the names of films, or insults to actors (such as Lindsay Lohan; see the trailer below). Some people interviewed are given names like Chet Taint and David Davidson, and have descriptor titles like “Wind Enthusiast” or “Urethral Sound Enthusiast.”

Balsamo has come a long way from cameos where some band member(s) or actors were obviously filmed in an alleyway or on the street during a convention where they just insult Balsamo’s character, whichever it is in a particular film. Here his drop-ins play parts and seem more connected to the storyline (and from what I can tell, this ain’t nuthin’ compared to one of his next films, Robot Dracula), such as Eric Roberts, who has also appeared and starred in a number of Balsamo releases.

As for Andy Dick being the star of this, well, I will say he was physically present. He did not seem very engaged with what he was doing, but he actually is not in the film very much (which is probably a good thing), but the name recognition works. I liked the sparse werewolf make-up, though, which reminded me – in part – of Michael J. Fox’s in Teen Wolf (1985)

Despite the bouncing boobies and petulant puns, there is an interesting sociological aspect to this film. No, I’m serious! On one hand, it is a commentary on the temporary fame of child stars and how it can screw up one’s life. There are so many examples of this, like Anissa Jones (d. 1976, age 18), Aaron Carter (d. 2022, age 34), Todd Bridges, Erin Moran (2017, age 56), and Dana Plato (d. 1999, age 36), as well as so many others. Child actor Paul Peterson even “founded a child-actor support group, A Minor Consideration, to improve working conditions for child actors and to assist in the transition between working as a child actor and adult life” (Wikipedia).

Another aspect worth noting is the effects of fame on those unprepared for it, and how the need to sustain that level of notoriety even when undeserved for any real talent (think Kardashians). That is where our titular Wolf stands, at the crossroads of both of these junctures.

IMDB listing HERE

Review: Texas Chainsaw Mascara

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2023
Images from the Internet

Texas Chainsaw Mascara
Directed by Bill Zebub
Bill Zebub Productions; MVD Entertainment
73 minutes, 2022 / 2023
BillZebubproductions.com/
www.mvdvisuals.com

Man, it has been quite a while since I saw a film by Bill Zebub, an extremely prolific and profane filmmaker; the last release I reviewed of his was Pumpkin Man (the Ultimate Edition) in 2019. 

This clearly states on the cover, “This is not a parody!!!” Zebub is known for off-beat comedies, with films like Zombie Christ (2010), and Dickshark (2016); this film, however, is done as a horror drama.

Manic Panic multi-colored haired Danielle (Dani Bliss) and Andrew (Andrew L. Thomas) are vacationers a loooong way from home, somewhere in rural Texas (hence the film’s title), where they are out to find the house where Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974) took place. However, their car gives up the…transmission? They are traveling with Mike (Cheyenne Mobbs) and Bill (Aaron Marquez). Luckily (or not), they run into arm-sleeve local Heather (cute Heather Beck), and Andrew immediately starts insulting her (e.g., her use of the word “cuss” rather than “curse”; yeah, he’s that petty). You may have noticed that many of the characters in this film use the same name as the actors portraying them.

Anthony L. Thomas, Heather Beck

Heather takes them home to her hovel, (except Bill, who stays with the car) where they meet wheelchair bound Zombie (director Bill Zebub) and Piggy (Marc Pearce), who wears the head of a, well, you know. There is also Susan (Maya Waters), married to Zombie, who seems to be in control. However, with Mike telling Andrew some locker room talk and Andrew being a real dick to Susan (e.g., demanding bottled water rather than tap, and having an anti-Christian tee shirt), the Yankees get taken by the Southerners (who have no discernable accent).

An interesting aspect of this family of cannibals is they are not over-the-top nutsy (despite the pig head), such as the Sawyers or even the Fireflys (this film is influenced by Texas Chain Saw Massacre and 2003’s House of 1000 Corpses in its general storyline).

There is also a bit of cultural philosophy thrown around, especially between Susan and the New York crew, with the differences between them in the way they look at their own lives. It is a driver of the film, but not swamped in it. But it does give a nice psychological edge to go along with the violence. It should be noted that Zebub comes from – if I remember correctly – New Jersey, if that means anything to ya. It could be noted that both sides of these groups are making assumptions about the other. Deadly ones. Both sides are assholes, yet they are also empathetic at the same time, which is nicely done.

Maya Waters

Now, let us discuss some sex and violence: Nearly all the extreme violence is done off-camera (low budget necessity), but the post-gore looks really good, especially in the third act, of course. As for body parts, nearly all the women show underwear at some point, but only one gets nekkid (I will not say which); women in underwear is a Zebub trope. Needless to say, not a single piece of clothing is removed from the males. Make of it as you wish.

Yeah, most of the acting is a bit wooden, but again, you know what you are getting, and in this case, it is a decent story and some bloodshed. That works for me.

As with most films, this could have been edited down a bit, such as the “Gethsemane” moment of Bill’s, where he accepts what he must do after cursing out the powers that be; it lasts a bit too long, seemingly long enough for a ballad song to play out on the soundtrack. It is a decent tune, but the point is made half way through it.

The extras on the Blu-ray may not number much, but they are huge. In no particular order there is the Painful Meow video (5 min) of a song called “The Bubble Voyage.” Uh, yeah. Basically it is Zebub rhythmically talking over off-key synth (played by him) with animation that includes a dog floating though the air via a gum bubble, while a man with a pumpkin head and various animals dance around. It is a bit over my head.

There is also a series of shorts called “Gaylord” (26 min). Yeah, I am clueless on this, too. It is a bunch of bits strung together about some feminine gay themes. It is more annoying than anything else, honestly. They focus on said “Gaylord” (Brian Gelitz, a seemingly straight guy cartoonishly “acting” gay) who plays stereotypical. These feel more like either a blooper reel or “extra scenes” thing from around the filming of Dirtbags, but it is not connected to anything. Oy. I kinda gave up at 18 minutes. Personally, I would have liked to have seen some Zebub trailers, instead.

The big extra is a 119 minute 2023 re-cut of a 90-minute feature, Dirtbags (2002). Zebub has a history of rejigging his earlier films, such as one of my favorites, Worst Horror Film Ever Made: The Remake (2008). This is, however, the first time I am getting to see Dirtbags in any variation:

Basically, Dirtbags is a meandering story about three – er – dirtbags. There are drug dealers Bill (Bill Zebub), who is going to college to study Nursing, and George (George “The Slayer” Stiso), and their buyer Scott (Scott Tergeist). Scott is a bit of a ne’er-do-well who lives with his hyper Christian dad (Parker Weller).

The whole point of the film, it seems, is to see how offensive they all can get. The film is highly racist (including a blackfaced “Ebonics” speaker with bulging fake eyes, putting down Black history, and even the use of the word). Meanwhile, Scott frequently zones out and fantasizes about near-naked women dancing around or usually tied up with the camera zooming around their “bits,” sometimes while he takes himself in hand. Scott also keeps asking his father ridiculous questions about his faith (I am an Agnostic and can ask better questions than If God creates, and Jesus was born, how could he be the Son of God?, for example}. Then there is a homophobic depiction of an effeminate gym boss (Tom Cartier) hitting on his employee Andy (Carl Williamson), and coming on to Gaylord (Brian Gelitz).

Sybelle Silverphoenix

Bill has the hots for George’s sister, Anne (Bronx-born Hungarian model and Sean Weathers’ muse Sybelle Silverphoenix). There is also a random cameo by Peter Steele (d. 2010), the bassist of Type O Negative, in obvious inserts into the film, not that I have a problem with that.

It is pretty obvious that a lot of the dialogue is ad libbed around a planned story which, again, I find fine. I did find myself double-speeding the film on the parts with no dialogue. My favorite scene, however, concerned a pizza delivery guy. It is also fun when the film employs the music from “The Little Rascals”/”Our Gang.”

Bill Zebub, Silverphoenix

There is also an attempt at philosophy with the helps of a Dream Goddess (Suzi Lorraine).

For me, the important thing about including Dirtbags is seeing how much Zebub has grown as a film maker from 2002 to 2022. It is like going back and reading something you wrote as a teen after you have been writing for a while. It is also noteworthy on how the style of music included in his films have changed. In the early years, a lot of it was death metal (see Zebub’s documentary, Extreme Metal Retardation), whereas now it has more of an off-kilter melodic tone.

It is the main feature, Texas Chainsaw Mascara, that is the real find here.

IMDB listing HERE

Review: Maniac Driver

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2023
Images from the Internet

Maniac Driver
Directed by Kurando Mitsutake
Akari Pictures; Reelgore Releasing; 8 Ball Films; DiabolikDVD; MVD Visual
75 minutes, 2020 / 2022
www.mvdvisual.com

Although this film is Japanese in origin and language (with subtitles), it may be inspired by the real Hong Kong serial killer portrayed in Dr. Lamb. He was also a taxi driver serial killer.

The opening credits’ title states this is a “Japanese Giallo.” Well, the opening sequence screams of it, as a woman in a spandex bathing suit sensually strips in a shower, and is murdered by the titular, Fujinaga (Tomoki Kimura). The color palate (by Shuji Hamamoto and Mitsuo Kojima) is correct for a Giallo, with lots of primary colors, a knife, and a helmeted killer. Actually, what the opening made me think of was a cross between Italian Giallo and the ending credits of What’s Up Tiger Lily? (1966).

Tomoki Kimura, Iori Kogawa

The tone of the over-thought narration describing the city definitely smacks of Taxi Driver (1976). Kimura even looks a bit like a younger DeNiro; heck, there is even a scene with him in front of a mirror holding a weapon and giving the whole “You talking to me?” speech. I have no doubt this was meant as an homage, rather than a rip-off.

While this definitely has a retro-Giallo feel, there is a Japanese spin on it. For example, as a businesswoman is being chased, she takes off her jacket so the film camera can get her braless bouncing, there is a close-up slo-mo shot of her backside where you can see her underwear beneath her overly short skirt, and, of course, by the end of the scene, her top is exposed. To be fair, in the body of the film (pun not intended), there is also male nudity.

The driver is depressed after his wife was murdered and he was stabbed in a home invasion by someone with the same helmet as him. This sours him on society, and both wants to die and to kill. But, how much of his killing his customers is real and what is fantasy? This is a territory touched on in American Psycho (2020).

The nudity and sex is a-plenty here, so it is no surprising that many of the women/victims in this film come from the world of adult cinema, such as Saryu Usui, Ayumi Kimito, and Ai Sayama (as is stated on the back of the Blu-ray box. Through fantasy and memory, this turns out to be quite a softcore flick. There is also extraordinarily little actual dialogue, with most of the philosophizing happening in the driver’s head. It ranges from injustices, to positive feminism, to despair.

Slowly, as his anger as desperation grows, he starts looking for a victim to take out his perceived vengeance on society and to end his own miserable life. Meanwhile, we see him taking customers in his cab numerous times, through a cab-cam with somewhat blocked faces. Did you know that DeNiro drove a cab in New York for two months to get a better idea of what the character goes through?

There are a lot of shots of Tokyo and the editing (John Migdal) and cinematography (Makoto Hayashi) is noteworthy, such as the city reflected through the moving hood of the dark taxi. Most of the shooting is normalized, but the fantasies are in high-art Giallo colors and lighting techniques. The music during these sequences are also interesting, in a distorted way.

Things pick up when he meets his (adult) “Jody Foster” in the form of injured Mayumi (Iori Kogawa), and he finally sets in motion to carry out his idea for a murder/suicide. Heck, there is even a long-haired villain (Yoshiki Kondô) who is reminiscent of Harvey Keitel.

When the reality is revealed and the facts are finally shown, well, some of it took me by pleasant surprise. The ending nicely sums it up, but I won’t tell…

The extras on this Blu-ray are as follows: an Audio Commentary by the director, Kurando Mitsutake, who fortunately is very fluent in English, so no subtitles needed (born in Toyko, grew up in Fresno, CA). He skillfully goes back and forth between descriptions of what is happening on the screen, and anecdotes about the whole process and the cast/crew. Worth at least one listen. We also learn that the title is a mash-up of insane serial killer flick Maniac (1981), and said Taxi Driver.

The “Maniac Driver: Behind the Scenes”-featurette (30 min) is exactly that, mostly setting up shots (and then we see what they filmed), and includes some brief interviews with the main cast. It is very basic but kept my interest. Finally, there is a Trailer (in English) and Slideshow, along with a nice 4-sided box insert cover with images of the film’s original posters. There are also subtitles available in three languages.

There is a prestigious amount of nudity, sex, and violence, not to mention blood and some gore (SFX by Yoshinari Dohi). The story is a bit weak and repetitive at times, and seems to circle around the point, but by the third Act, it is quite a ride.

IMDB listing HERE

For some reason, the trailer on YouTube is captioned in German:

Review: You’re Melting!

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2022
Images from the Internet

You’re Melting!
Directed by James Balsamo
Acid Bath Productions
60 minutes, 2022
www.jamesbalsamo.com
www.facebook.com/acidbathproductions

Yeah, so I basically begin nearly every review of director/writer/actor/etc. James Balsamo’s films the same way every time, so to condense it: auteur, (usually horror) comedy, extremely prolific output of work, Balsamo’s narration, shots from an airplane, full of bad but enjoyable puns, female nudity (which is okay because nothing personal, I really don’t need to see Balsamo’s naked bod, as he is always in his films, much like Mel Brooks, another filmmaker I love but do not want to see in that way), animation (both Claymation and cartoons), lately Bill Victor Arucan, and tons of cameos. And yet, I am always happy to get to see his work. Some of these listed above are bound to crop up in my comments, but they will all be in the film.

For this relatively short opus, Balsamo plays Nathan Ender, a plastic surgeon who is out for revenge by killing all the other plastic surgeons as “The Witch Doctor” (i.e., a masked killer). On his trail is Detective George Skully (Arucan) and his assistant, Heather Gummer (blue-hair-tinted bodybuilder Ria Papageorgiou); we see them interview 1980’s-1990’s star Jennifer Rubin, who plays Ender’s co-office surgeon. Along with the killings, there is a lot of gratuitous nudity and dancing, which is to be expected in a Balsamo release, of course.

While the revenge premise of killing plastic surgeons is quite clear, the film has a bit of a cobbled together feeling, which is both good and, well, a bit weak, especially for a film this short. For example, there are a few mostly or totally nude dance sequences that really are gratuitous and does nothing for the story with either two or three women strippers and in one case a male (the latter is actually better at it). Yeah, I know these will probably show up on one of Balsamo’s anthology Sexy Time series (and rightfully so).

Joe Estevez

There is also a ridiculously long sequence of three surgeons (including one played by Joe Estevez, brother and uncle of other better-known actors, playing Dr. Richard Smothers – where’s Tom?, or was he named after Smothers’ son, porn actor Dick Smothers?) walking in a circular path through a Chinese...I’m not sure…Museum? Art gallery? While this happens, the three riff off (ad lib) nonsense that does not promote the story at all in a woe-is-me fashion, or just screaming dialogue. That being said, the “Where’s Waldo” effect with the Witch Doctor in this sequence is cool.

I am also confused about one of the dancers on a ritualistic altar as the Witch Doctor runs a (cool looking) knife over her body. Is she supposed to be a plastic surgeon as well? It is incongruous with the story, especially with her smiling as the knife skims her naked flesh. Then there is the topless dancer who sings and plays the piano for what seems like a really long time. See, this is why it feels cobbled together rather than an actual narrative story.

There are some interesting cameos here and there, such as Brian Bonsall (the younger kid in the TV show “Family Ties” and the Klingon youngster in “Star Trek: The Next Generation”), wrestler (always a wrestler) Tonga Fifita reading poetry, and bizarro filmmaker Jim Wynorski (I like his films), among those I have already mentioned among quite a few others.

And what was the reasoning for the stop-motion monster further on in the film? The story was left quite open, I am assuming for a sequel at some point, as Balsamo has been doing that a lot lately.

I have a theory: the Witch Doctor is actually played by Bobby Canipe Jr., under the mask. The cinematography is by Cagney Larkin. Balsamo’s actual role is a miniscule cameo and the rest is voiceover. So, what I’m thinking is that this film was directed over the phone (or Zoom) by Balsamo, but it was mostly produced and edited by him and shot while he was away making multiple other films. That would explain the inconsistencies and weirdness of whatever was going on in the plot, such as it was. This was more an idea than a story.

While not the strongest of the Balsamo releases that I have seen, and I have watched quite a few – nearly all I enjoyed – there are some good elements to this, especially the set designs and I like the Witch Doctor mask. Despite all my quibbling, I am still looking forward to some of Balsamo’s upcoming releases, such as The Righteous Adventures of Commander Star Shark and Guppy!, It Wants Blood 2, and especially I Got a Bullet with Your Name on it!, among a dozen others that are currently in pre-production, production, or post-production.

IMDB Listing HERE 

Trailer is HERE 

Review: WJHC AM

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2022
Images from the Internet

WJHC AM
Directed by Vinnie Vineyard and Luke Walker
Big N Funky Productions; Burning Bulb Publishing
107 minutes, 2022
www.funkmasterv.com/
www.BigNFunkyProductions.com

With that title, there can be little doubt this black and white micro-budget film is a comedy (wisely, they didn’t use WJFC). Taking place in Tennessee (but also shot in the appropriate states of Georgia, North Carolina, and Arkansas, as well as Tennessee), the cast took their lives in their hands (I’m guessing) to make a horror film in that region mixing religion, Y2K, the Rapture, and a bloody time.

After all, why shouldn’t the Rapture be a bloodfest, since the book it is based on (you know, that best seller known as The Bible) is one of the most gruesome tomes ever to be published, promoting genocide, incest, slavery, cannibalism, misogyny, homophobia, etc.? And ironically, the people who follow this want to ban “A Separate Peace” (if you’re going to censor it, do it because it’s boring, not for the implied homosexuality that the author denied). But enough with the soap box, for now.

Vinnie Vineyard

This is the second film in the Smoky Mountain Chronicles, with the first being The Hike (2021), which I have not seen as yet. For this tale, the story focuses on Cousin Vinnie Bradipo (director Vineyard), a talk radio disc jockey looking for work (any relation to Cousin Brucie?).

After a “holy” experience in the early 1990s in the prologue, Vinnie gets reluctantly hired at the titular radio station, immediately getting hit on by both sexes. What is amusing is that the people who work there have no idea how funny their station is, such as not getting that one of their shows is called “God Jammit.” Yeah, this does mock the MAGA uber religious types, and I’m totally fine with that. I’m sure some viewers scream “persecution” while they are talking about taking away women’s rights and murdering LGBQ+ folk; and I’ll bet it will be without even seeing the film, which is a social commentary on a prosperity-gospel-type Christian lifestyle. Oops, there’s that soap box again. Gonna be hard to stay off of it, I think.

As insane as some of the online preachers seem, and we get to watch a number of them, its far enough off to know it is parody, but close enough to recognize it. That is where the humor mostly lies. We also meet a seemingly stoner engineer, who seems to be modeled on The Dude (1988’s The Big Lebowski), Brother Arlo (co-director, co-writer, and scene stealer Luke Walker), the sarcastic, very pregnant chain smoking studio director, Sister Nancy (Tracy Yaste), a horny DJ Sister Christian (Amy Perkinson Hale), the equally horny and lurking station owner’s son, Jack (Travis Graves), sexpot with miles of cleavage and miniscule brain cells, Sister Stacks (busty model and professional wrestler Katie Gannon) and Vinnie’s cute girlfriend, Angela (Sheena Layne).

Tracy Yates

One fun part is when a visiting church (given air time for donations) uses the later, added parts of Mark with snake handling. What could possibly go wrong, right? Another bit, which really had me laughing, was a talking in tongues challenge that mirrored a rap battle. Cultural appropriation? I am sure these white, “All Lives Matter”-type folks will not see it that way.

Meanwhile, as we get to know the characters, the story starts five days before Y2K, and counts down the days as we get acquainted. There’s lots of music references, nearly all from the Cousin Vinnie side, such as wearing Public Enemy and Wu-Tang tees to work, and talking about the likes of gawdawful Stryper, and HUGS (a band I believe is supposed to represent KISS from the imagery). That’s for those of you who have no interest in modern gospel.

Throughout the film, strange things are happening off in the peripheral, but it isn’t until the third act when it’s near Y2K proper that the zombies hit the fan…I mean radio, though it’s well over an hour into the film. Some people turn into horned, demonic flesh-eaters (rather than classic zombies), some just disappear (the Rapture), and others need to fend for themselves in a battle to survive the Tribulation. Jeez, I am an atheist who has never been a Christian, so why do I know all this crap?

Herb Himes

The fight scenes are somewhat bloody, but there is no gore. However, there is more nudity than blood. I don’t see that as something bad. The only questionable thing is the length of the film. While there is quite the wait for the demonic zombie attack(s), it is worth noting that the film is a sharp commentary on religious abuses, as the title card at the end explains, and is entertaining throughout. That being said, it could have easily been trimmed by about 20 minutes and that footage put into the “Deletes Reel” on the eventual DVD/Blu-ray.

Whining aside, please understand that I enjoyed this film for what it was, the messages it was conveying, and the humor at the sake of televangelism. While the station had money problems, I’ll bet they were tax-exempt; yes, I know this channel is fictional, but in some ways so are the likes of Ken Copeland and Jim Bakker, who rely on bullying, trickery, deception, and fear.

The soundtrack is pretty good, actually, and I am so glad they added, during the credits, the song that is mentioned throughout the film, “Go Up Yonder on Yon Hill Over There” (sung by Walker). That was a revelation.

IMDB Listing HERE 

 

Review: Don’t Let Her In

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2022
Images from the Internet

Don’t Let Her In
Directed by Ted Nicolaou
Full Moon Features; MVD Entertainment
61 minutes, 2021 / 2022
www.facebook.com/fullmoonfeatures
www.fullmoonfeatures.com/
www.MVDentertainment.com

For those of us who either grew up in the ‘80s VHS video boom, or are a fan of that prolific period, this release has a definite draw. It was directed by Ted Nicolaou, who set off the infamous Subspecies franchise and gave us TerrorVision (1986).

I am assuming we have all heard the expression “roommate from hell,” and some may have even experienced this phenomenon. Well, what if that were more than just an expression? Imagine if the person sharing your flat was, say, the nanny who hung herself in The Omen (1976), or one of the building tenants in Rosemary’s Baby (1968). That is the starting point of this release.

Kelly Curran

A young couple live in a loft (at the iconic Nate Starkman & Son building in Los Angeles) that is freakin’ huge, and that they can’t really afford. There is Amber (Kelly Curran), who designs posters for indie horror films and looks like she popped out of an Archie Comic, with a blonde bob and teeth for miles. Her boyfriend is Ben (Cole Pender), a guitarist for an up-and-coming band. They need a roommate, and that person shows up in the form of Serena (Lorin Doctor), a dark and mysterious New Age-y artist who works with herbs and minerals, and also can be found chanting a lot. The direction this is going is pretty obvious from the start.

Of course, there is an ulterior motive for Serena being there while there is a stranger, Elias (Austin James Parker), who looks a bit like The Witcher, that is hanging around outside the building.

Lorin Doctor

We soon get to see Serena’s true nature (and often her boobs at the drop of a lingerie). She easily seduces the couple one by one, setting up the evil plan to spring forth from her involvement.

And now that Amber is pregnant, obviously with something beyond human, how will our young couple, who are about as committed to their relationship as they are to their breakfast cereal, deal with this situation?

Well, honestly, it’s pretty predictable, but please, keep reading. Even though the ending can be seen a mile away, this is a fun romp and so typical of the fare of Full Moon, short at an hour’s length, and to the point. You get what you wish for, and that is a Full Moon production. They aren’t known for rocket science, and that’s just the way it should be. This film definitely keeps on brand: nudity, gore, and demons. There is little to no fat that needs to be trimmed; it’s going in a direction and successfully gets there.

Cole Pender

Doctor has a kind of weird, almost Mortician Aadams kind of stroll when she’s in evil focus mode, with arms tight down at her sides and hands at nearly 90 degrees to her body. But everyone does their role well.

This is a very small, COVID-period cast of just four characters, but it’s Curran and Doctor who hold up the film. It’s sensual and bloody, with some really top notch practical demonic SFX.

There are essentially two extras added on the Blu-ray. The first is a bunch of Full Moon Production trailers of their newer stuff, such as The Resonator: Miskatonic U and Blade: The Iron Cross. This film is also represented. The other is a 9-minute Behind the Scenes featurette, that starts off focusing on the career of the director (including his work on the original The Texas Chain Saw Massacre), and then delves into the make-up and production of this film, with an interview with Curran.

Full Moon has a reputation for films just like this, that are quickly done and are effective, with extremely low budgets (but look really good) and tend to be a tad goofy. This is not a comedy, but there is an auteur feel to all their releases, and this one works. Also, there are a few times when characters are watching movies on the television, and you will never guess what production company they are from…

IMBD Listing HERE 

Review: Resurrection Corporation

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2021
Images from the Internet

Resurrection Corporation.
Directed by Alberto Genovese
1844 Entertainment; Loboarts Productions
77 minutes, 2021
www.facebook.com/resurrectioncorporation/
www.1844entertainment.com/resurrectioncorporation/

While this is a simply-animated cartoon, the look and feel of it may seem familiar: the graphics were based on the 1920 Wiene film, Das Cabinet des Dr. Caligari, on the 100th anniversary of the original film’s release. While the story may differ, the feel of the German abstraction masterpiece is present. I recommend watching the trailer for Dr. Caligari (HERE) to catch you up beforehand, though it is not necessary for this release.

Note that there are two versions of this film, one in dubbed English, and the other in its original Italiano with Inglese subtitles. I watched (by choice) the latter, though I non capicse the language..

The artwork is very crude, which is appropriate for the German Expressionistic motif of the visuals (and story). The bending buildings, uneven windows, and twisted streets really do look like they came right out of the original Caligari. The movement of the characters is minimal, almost like shadow puppets, but the flat look is striking and extremely effective. This film also seems to take place in Germany around 1920, indicated by the horse-and-carriages and clothing. One would almost expect Sigmund Freud to show up at some point.

Bruta and Caligari

In an opening that could have been straight out of Universal’s Frankenstein (1931), our titular anti-hero, Caligari (voice of Antonio Amoruso), who is a mortician rather than a psychiatrist, has dug up a corpse with the help of his assistant, Bruta (Paola Masciadri), for an experiment to revive him back to life. Caligari looks like a younger version of his 1920 namesake, and Bruta, with her facial scars, is a bit reminiscent of Sally from The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993).

Like the original, this film is broken up into chapters (as opposed to Acts) with title cards. The translation is a bit rough at times, as it does not capture all the spoken dialogue, such as missing a “please” here, a “yes” and “understand?” there. Nothing too over-the-top that I could catch with my extremely limited knowledge of Italian, and I was easily able to follow the story.

The problem facing the good Mortician is that the titular Resurrection Corporation, run by Potriantow (Alessandro Blanchi), has figured out a way to resurrect the dead and charge them for it, so the town is full of undead zombies (not the flesh-eating kind). This takes the business away from Caligari, who at one time was a powerful business person, but now a forgotten relic.

Naturally, he is angry about the corporation and the undead who are no longer needing his services. He is trying to find his own formula to bring the dead to life, and cash in on that, and naturally take business away from the corporation. It is a premise we see in real life, as Blockbuster wiped out the small video stores, or Amazon is killing, well, nearly everything. While the story is fantasy, its theme is alive and well in the real world.

Caligari and Bruta set out to find out how Potriantow obtained his knowledge through set pieces put into chapters, including a visit to a sex-obsessed mad scientist, Viktor Lazenbhy, who’s castle interior looks very much like the Count’s in the original Dracula (1929), or perhaps more accurately, Nosferatu, eine Symphonie des Grauens (1922).

If it isn’t clear, despite the style and some of the characters, there really is not much that links the original story of Caligari and this Caligari. However, what that does do is give the opportunity for the plot to veer in weird and various directions, and that it does. Events keep occurring that makes the viewer (i.e., me) think, “Well, I wasn’t expecting that.” Of course, that is all the more betterer because there is a surprise around every chapter.

One of the enjoyable elements is the humor that is both subtle and prevalent throughout the film at the oddest moments, such as a turtle being faster than the bloodthirsty demon snail creatures out for revenge that are called upon by… well, I’m not going to give it away.

It is good to pay attention to the backgrounds. You may see a lot of momentary a-has, such as a poster on the wall of the likes of Edgar Allan Poe, or Cesare, from the original Dr. Caligari. There is even a showman character named Bob Wine (Erik Martini), whose real name is Robert Wiene, the actual name of the director of the original Caligari. The film has lots of delicious wink-wink moments like these.

The film is also filled with a surprising amount of full nudity (female), sex and gore. The latter is especially prevalent, as is expected from modern German shock cinema, which focuses strongly on body horror.

The film gives an impression that it may be open for a sequel, which I would endorse, but to be honest, this is the director’s third film, the last being Sick Sock Monsters from Outer Space (aka Dolcezza Extrema, released by Troma), from 2015, and his first was L’invasione degli astronzai, from 2009. That would mean that possibly his next one might not be until 2027. I am not holding my breath.

Meanwhile, this film is available on Amazon Prime Video in the United States and the U.K.

 

Review: It Wants Blood

Text © Richard Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2021
Images from the Internet

It Wants Blood
Directed by James Balsamo
Acid Bath Productions
103 minutes, 2021
https://www.facebook.com/It-wants-Blood-2242376705997870

Yeah, super-prolific feature director and writer James Balsamo is about to drop another one, and I am so looking forward to it, as always. Let’s strap this on and move forward without further delay.

I am fond of Balsamo’s comedic formula, as I have said before, which is no exception here. His films, while mostly narrative, are also a collection of set pieces strung together, this time with more coherency than some of his other works. A grateful reviewer thanks you. There is also lots of blood (well, it is in the title, after all), gore, and naked women. There is also Balsamo’s voiceover, which starts as exposition; this lets the viewer know what his character, Phil Blunt, who has no moral compass as always, is thinking.

After a couple of prologues, including one that gives a nod to Green Inferno (2013), we meet Phil, whose job is to dig dirt on political opponents. Like I said, zero moral compass. I’m not sure if his last name is symbolic for his approach to life, or what he smokes. Knowing Balsamo, probably both. What I do know is just about all of Balsamo’s characters are the same, much like Abbott and Costello, or Laurel and Hardy: no matter what the role, it’s essentially the identical character. I am very okay with that.

Eric Roberts

Essentially, though, this is a story about two rival families, the Montagues and the Cap… oh, wait, I mean Senator Du Sang (a frail and exhausted looking Eric Roberts who spends most of the film in a lounging chair) and his bloodthirsty monster, and his philandering political rival Bruno Bastine III (Bill Victor Arucan) and his gore munching creature. Maybe it should have been called “They” Want Blood?

On the Du Sang side, there is spoiled rich girl daughter Julie (Mikaela Moody), Madame Du Sang (Ola Ray, infamous as Michael Jackson’s “girlfriend” in the “Thriller” video; this is her first role in 20 years), and his bro-bro, Victor (Steve Railsback, who starred in the infamous 1985 Lifeforce, and as Chuck Manson in 1976’s Helter Skelter). Their monster, the Nodoto, looks really cool, like a tusked elephant with bat wings for ears, its trunk has a snake like end, and its head has a gaping vertical mouth. It is kept in Du Sang’s wine cellar (which seems to be his backyard).

Notodo

On the Bastine lineup, there is his busty wife Delilah (Amy Dumas, professional wrestler who goes by Lita). His big troll-headed flying dragon creature, the Zawazo, hangs out in the back yard by the pool, munching on whomever comes by, whether it is by invitation or not.

Both of these monstrosities are supposed to give power for the upcoming election, promising power and fame. Both politicians are going to need it. The Bastine side is pretty incompetent, and Du Sang is, well, let us just say he has Republican tendencies.

Zawazo

It’s not surprising that Balsamo would come up with a narrative around elections, with the political climate of the last couple of years. It’s a dog-eat-dog scene, or in this case, Zawazo-eat Nodoto-world. As each politico struggles for power, the more gore the monsters get to feed upon.

While I am at this point, let me ‘splain about the creatures. First of all, they look amazing. There are, it seems to me, three different versions of them. First, there is the full-sized puppets, which are my favorites. Then, there is the hand-puppets (essentially, the close-ups of the snake-snout), and third, there is the models that are used for pixilation (aka stop-motion photography, for those who don’t know about the likes of Ray Harryhausen). All three were very impressive works for the film’s overall budget that I imagine.

Amy "Lita" Dumas

And speaking of bodies, there are a lot of them, from bloody parts being flung or lying on the ground, to complete ones unclothed (most of them having sex with Blunt, of course…hey, if I were a director, that might be the route I would go). What I really like about this, for all those who are going to cry sexism since the only fully nudes seen are female, Balsamo does not go for a ”type,” but rather all are welcome. Some of the women are thin and others are chunky. If you’re expecting all ‘80s-VHS style model shower scenes, you’re in the wrong place. However, if you want some reality within your frame of beauty, this is the place for it, tatts and all.

As always, there are dozens of cameos, such as by Brinke Stevens, Felissa Rose, Joe Estevez, and Eileen Dietz (aka Pazuzu from The Exorcist, 1973). Many of them are musicians of death metal bands that I really don’t know, but most are people who have made a mark somewhere along the way, like Craig Muckler, co-writer and producer of The Microwave Massacre (1979).

James Balsamo

There is one subtle shift in many of the cameos from previous Balsamo films: usually, the actor or musician would often be shot in an alley or a street (during a convention), saying nasty things about Balsamo’s character (remember, no moral compass). In this case, they are in Public Service Announcements (PSAs) putting down Senator Du Sang. This is a nice change.

What is consistent with just about all of Balsamo’s releases is that it is funny, from beginning to end. The humor is a mix of broad jokes and, if it’s the Balsamo character, it is puns. One of his jokes is based on a Dom Irrera line about “Italian School,” that had me laughing.

I say this every time, but it bears repeating. If you’re looking for perfection, you’ve come to the wrong place. There are continuity issues (the sound changes within a single scene, for example), the acting is often questionable, and the writing is just plain silly. But here is the thing, and it is an important one, if you’re looking to just enjoy yourself and escape from the shitshow that is current politics, sit right down, and have a blast.

I love that the film was dedicated to the late, great Carmine Capobianco (d. January 2021). While I never met the man personally, I have long admired his work, especially in this millennium, such as Model Hunger (2016) and The Sins of Dracula (2014), along with a host of Balsamo’s releases (they are from the same neck of Long Island). Honestly, I can say that I have never heard anyone say a negative thing about him.

And speaking of prolific, it seems Balsamo is also in post-production with his next two features, 14 Ghosts and the sci-fi Alien Danger! With Raven Van Slender. Sad thing is, now I gotta wait.

Trailer is HERE