Reviews: 5 Various Ghosts
Titled Films
Text © Richard
Gary / Indie Horror Films, 2022
Images from the Internet
All of the
films covered below have the word “Ghost” in the title, and all of these films
are recent, since the millennium.
These films below
are not ranked, but are listed alphabetically, all from TubiTV, so they are
free to watch. Note that my snark is truly meant to be fun and rib-poking with
a touch of stream of consciousness. I had just the right low-budget expectation
for these films, so I was not blindsided by anticipating a theatrical
extravaganza experience. After all, when it comes to the cheese level, there
are times when ya want melted brie on toast, and at others, Cheez-Whiz on
animal crackers. I enjoyed these films for precisely what they are. Links to the
coming attractions for all of them are at the bottom of each review.
Alone in the
Ghost House
Directed by Henrique
Qouto
New Dynamic; Camp
Motion Pictures
82 minutes, 2015
www.facebook.com/aloneintheghosthouse
Amazingly, I have not seen this before. I am a big fan of the director,
Henrique Couto and screenwriter,
John Oak Dalton, as well as much of
the regular troupe of Ohio-based actors who appear here. For the found footage
story, husband and wife wannabe ghost hunters Lana (Joni Durian) and Derek (John
Bradley Hembrick) are on a cross-country tour to film supposed hauntings, and
one stop includes the Devil’s Commune, supposedly the most haunted house in the
country, where all the artists who previously lived there were murdered. They
arrive with their videographer Ford (Couto) who you hear more than see since he
is behind the camera, outsider comic artist Sophie (Iabou Windmere) who is also
an art historian that is familiar with the history of the Commune and its
participants, and a psychic, Tabitha (Erin R. Ryan). They all plan to spend the
night. Based on a barebones script, this was filmed in three days, in
chronological order, and nearly all the dialogue was invented on the spot,
giving it a feel of authenticity in its language. It also shows some improv
skills. Because it’s based on “raw footage,” we get to see some humorous flubs
such as false scares; however, this is probably a nod to all those ghost
hunters shows and how they do what they do to reel in the audience, like a
magician who shows his/her work. While technically I would not refer to this as
a comedy, there are definitely some intentionally funny moments thrown in that
are quite effective. There are also bloopers (real or not, I’m not sure) that
are added (remember, raw footage). Like nearly every other ghost hunter show on
reality television, not much happens as far as hauntings go, but there is still
enough tension here to keep the viewer paying attention (with the exception of
one conversation between Ford and Sophie that goes nowhere and could easily be
excised). As far as the ending, man, I did not see that coming, and is
actually the kingpin of the story, summing it up nicely by… well, I’m not
telling. Honestly, I’m not a big fan of the whole found footage subgenre in
general, but this is the third one by Couto I have seen (though it is not the
only kind he makes, being he does multi-cross genres), and he has a way of
making it interesting. Plus, there is a nice gratuitous shower scene.
Trailer is HERE
Ghost Box
Directed by Michael Jarzabek
NXT Level Productions;
MBUR Films
61 minutes, 2019
http://www.ghostboxmovie.com/
I am interested in this because it is, as of this writing, the only film
listed for the director and its writer, Erik Papucci. Short and sweet, clocking
in at one hour. And yet, it feels much longer. It takes nearly halfway before
our protagonist, Eve (Alicia Frame) gets off her drunken ass to take any kind
of action. At the onset, she ignores a phone call from her mom (Asta Razma),
who dies in a car accident, presumably while trying to text her daughter. Eve,
filled with guilt, ignores her job, and becomes a solid wino. Her friend and
sculpted coworker, Brad (Randy Bernales), comes over to be a friend and enabler
(i.e., he brings more wine). Her turning point comes when she orders the
titular ghost box online. As this film focuses a lot on technology (such as a
large use of cell phones and this object), it makes sense she would turn to an
electronic medium to try to contact her mom. A ghost box is an EVP (Electronic
Voice Phenomenon) that supposedly records the voice of the dead. This one is a
weird modified AM/FM portable radio (hey, a friend of mine is convinced he
heard a ghost say “yes” on his answering machine tape). But even before using
it, in place of a Ouija Board I guess, there is a shadowy shawled figure that
resembles the final ghost of Dickens’ A Christmas Carol. following her
which I assume is up to no good. It also looks like CGI. When she uses the
device, and combines it with Ouija and Tarot, she gets more than she bargained
for, as is par for this type of film (Ouija = undesired evil spirits). Soon,
she’s in a battle with an invisible entity that opens doors, knocks things
over, lights candles, and starts a (vinyl) record player (Parrot Label, which
put out Tom Jones and Englebert Humperdinck, among others; why do I know
that?). Will she be able to rid her abode of the cowled one, or will she join
her mom? Yeah, I won’t say, but any action happens in the last 20 minutes. And
why doesn’t she leave as things get all messy? No, she invites Brad over (man
protector stereotype) and calmly humming while taking a shower. This is after
all the destruction and seeing the shadowy figure on a…nannycam? The acting in
this is passable, and the film is quite amateurish, but as I said, it’s short,
so, as Dorothy said, “Things come and go so quickly, here.” It’s threadbare and
some of the effects, like the transition shots between events (e.g., the moon
crossing the sky) look a big cheesy, but nods considering the budget. There is
promise here, so let’s keep that in mind. From the ending, without giving
anything away, I’m not sure if this was meant to indicate there will be a
sequel, or this was intended to be a series. As a side note, at one point, Eve
wakes up at 3:33 AM, which reminds me of another, fun film 3:33 AM (2014). There is a shower
scene, but no gratuitous nudity, nor blood or gore. Lastly, there is a really
nice subtle plug for PAWS Chicago/ a no-kill animal
shelter.
Trailer is HERE
Ghost in the
Graveyard
Directed by Charlie
Comparetto
Cellar Door Films;
JARS Productions; Dark Coast
92 minutes, 2019
http://ghostinthegraveyardmovie.com/
Taking place in Mt. Mariah (the name Mariah means “Bitter”), though filmed
around Tarrytown, NY, and hour north of New York City, the prologue sets up the
basic story of a group of pre-teen girls playing the titular game in a cemetery
(sort of the equivalent of saying “Bloody Mary” in a mirror) at the same time a
witch (nice cameo by Afrikaner and indie horror legend Maria Olsen) is nearby
doing an incantation. Through an accident, one of the girls, Martha (Shiloh
Verrica) becomes a murderous spirit that only one of them can see. But the main
story starts 10 years later and Sally (Kelli Berglund) is back home with her
family, including her dad (another big name, Jake Busey). She comes back to
finish up her final year of Catholic high school and there, meets up with her
best friend Reed (Joah Carmody) who has sexual tension between them, of course.
And also, of course, he is dating Sally’s arch enemy and head of the local
group of stereotypical mean girls, Zoe (Olivia Larsen), whose nearly every
piece of dialogue has that bully tone of sarcasm in all situations. What the
hell would Reed see in her, other than a sexual object? Yeah, she is beautiful:
this is a world filled with unrealistically stunners who could be models, right
out of television central casting; no ugly or chubby or skinny people of any
gender need apply. For me, this is the first real false step. This seems to be
playing to teen girls who are destined to face body dysmorphic disorder. For
some reason, Sally wants to fit in with these cretinous creatures. This wanting
to be part of the clique of snobs and evil people is right out of the Mean
Girls (2004) playbook. Again, cliché. I’m a third through the film, and
while there have been deaths, it feels a big dragging up to now. Also, despite
the title, most of the sightings of Martha go well beyond the reaches of the cemetery
in which she passed; she can show up anywhere, even during the obligatory gratuitous
bathing scene (in this case, nudity included). There are other noteworthy actors
such as Royce Johnson of numerous television superhero shows of late, and lots
of cameos, including Nikki Blonsky, the lead of 2007’s Hairspray, Jason
James Richter, who was the kid/lead in Free Willy (1993), and Joseph D’Onofrio
from A Bronx Tale (1993), among other mafia-related flicks. But the
ghost is only half the story as there is a conspiracy brewing which we are
given tiny hints of, though I’m sure it will all come out in the end, as they
do in genre films, and then there’s the pesky satanist underbelly. The story
shows some of its cards pretty early on, though bit by bit, so the surprises
are not as shocking as I believe is supposed to be expected. And, man, I’m
still only half way through. There are some nice, subtle references to other
films, such as a crossword puzzle whose answers include “Hellraiser” and “Boomstick”;
that made me smile (film needs more of that). Needless to say, the action ramps
up for the third act of good vs. evil, filled with double crosses in all
directions, and flipping of perceptions of who is what, but along with that it
becomes convoluted and a tad confusing. Also, the last act gets really preachy
and heavy handed, like this was a Christian film, the kind that might star nut-job
Kirk Cameron, rather than a nice story about witches and Christians (for
example, 1973’s The Exorcist was about good vs. evil, and even though it
dealt heavily with church dogma, it wasn’t preachy). They also make it
abundantly clear that this is meant to kick off either a sequel or franchise. I
would like to add that the cinematography by Przemyslaw Reut is stunning and occasionally
breathtaking.
Trailer is HERE
The Ghost of
Goodnight Lane
Directed by Alin Bijan
Shoreline
Entertainment; Inception Media Group; FTG Media; Media World Studios
96 minutes, 2014
https://www.facebook.com/GhostOfGoodnightLane/
One of the things that attracted me to watch this was the cross-genre
cast, which includes Billy Zane, Danielle Harris, and Lacey Chabert. Seems to
be this is par to the underrated Harris, who often does indie films, but a
downward trend for Zane of Titanic (1997) and now doing the “McGruber”
television show, and Chabert of “Party of Five” and Mean Girls (2005) who
now seems to specialize in television-released Christmas-themed films. To be
fair, they all have multitudes of credits, so they are doing okay, I guess. As
for this film, I immediately have a question from the first five minutes: at a
busy film Dallas production studio, there is a film editor who is a workaholic,
so he’s there all the time. Why, suddenly, is he being “haunted” by the main
and evil spirit? His death is pretty cool, with the digital effects reminding
me of The Haunting (1999) remake. The studio proper, which used
to be a house owned by a mysterious older woman, Thelma (Allyn Carrell), has
been sold and is getting ready to be razed for a new building, and the angry ghost
is not having any of it. Her backstory is given in pieces in flashbacks as she
gets involved with the Charles Manson (David “Shark” Fralick) cult. Even with
the normal stretch of credibility in this kind of film, the power of this ghost
is enormous enough to question the film a bit. She can cause objects to move, appear
on video both in image and sound, make people do things to themselves, possess
bodies, and cause others to just disappear through I’m guessing is some kind of
portal. And for the large cast (i.e., body count) of production crew and models,
well, once they know there is something screwed up going on and see our ghostie
on tape, they take an unrealistic sweet ass time getting out of the building; I
would be in my car before the second hand reached one minute. The unclear
question through a lot of this is whether the ghost is Thelma’s daughter Jeanie
(Alisha Revel), or Jeanie’s daughter by Manson (i.e., the evil one), Carly
(Sophia Arias), or both. The acting is typical fare for this kind of film (just
a tad either over- or under-emoting). As the comic relief (ad libs?) owner of
the production company, Zane is both the best and most natural actor here, but
also feels like he’s phoning it in sometimes, like “I can’t believe I’m making
films like this…I was in Titanic, dammit!” The fight between the aging-yet-attractive
ingénues is amusing, though. The effects are mostly CGI, but looks decent and bloody. This is the kind of film that is a bit silly, and
yet serves its purpose. Lots of jump scares, and generally I enjoyed it for
what it was. And through it all, in the words of Snoopy, it was a dark and
stormy night. Oh, and there is a gratuitous shower scene here, too.
Trailer is HERE
Ghost Witch (aka The Legend of Seven
Toe Maggie)
Directed by Joseph
Lavender
Black Flight Studios;
Wild Eye Releasing; Scene and Heard; Grindhouse Productions
97 minutes, 2015
www.facebook.com/7toemaggie/
Supposedly “based on actual events,” there is a double and incomplete
(to be explained later in the film) prologue that takes place in rural Georgia
(perhaps being off-kilter would explain what is going on in voting practices in
the 14th District of that state). The beginning segment is to set up the main
body of the film that includes a bikini and bully party to snag that T&A
audience of teens. This introduces nerd Zeke (Chase Steven Anderson) and
possible love interest Mattie (Mandi Christine Kerr, who was in “The Walking
Dead” and has no idea how to hold a slice of pizza when eating it: vertical?
My Brooklyn pizza snob sensibilities are screaming. What’s next, pineapple?).
Both are into the paranormal and fortunately her dad is a real estate agent who
owns the mysterious house where Seven Toe Maggie (three less, not two more on
one foot) was murdered about 50 years before. Since Zeke is part of an amateur
ghost hunting group of oddballs called the G.H.O.S.T. Paranormal Team, reminiscent
of the troupe from Twister (1996), soon all of them start the second act
together to check out the place. They include gear genius Cameron (director
Lavender, who also starred in 2011’s Exit 101), Ellie (Jessie Bockenek), Ben (Josh Sinyard),
and his cynical girlfriend Kylie (Christina Pykles). Subtle weird things start
happening pretty quickly, like doors opening or slamming shut, and creaky
sounds, even before both the older waitress and the groundskeeper, Jenkins
(Pete Ganas), fills the stereotypical “Ah’d turn back if Ah wuz you” role. Amusingly,
the story gives nearly everyone a chance towards the early part to go off by
themselves (for aspirin, to take a gratuitous bath – sans nudity – in a really
rusty tub, or out to the van, for example) which gives 7TM a chance to show her
presence. And yet, even though they are supposed to be paranormal hunters, none
of them seem to be cognizant of anything going on (I found this extremely
amusing, though I don’t believe it was intended to be), even when one of them
goes missing for hours. Other questionable things include when the cops (counting
Travis Breedlove, who also played a sheriff in Exit 101) arrive, they
don’t mention the possibility of one of them being assaulted, and the cops just
come into the place without a warrant. The group also proves to be terrible
liars (but why lie?). Maybe it is typical behavior of law enforcement in
Georgia. Meanwhile, I’m about half way through and waiting for the third act when
hopefully all hell breaks loose. Meanwhile… One personal peeve that drives me
crazy, and this is hardly just this film, the women (in this case Matti and
Kylie) keep saying they should go, and the guys (mostly Zeke and Ben) insist “we’ll
figure this out” and refuse to leave. Men need to listen to smart women. Anyway,
as I easily predicted (as any genre fan would), the third act is filled with
action, most of the body count comes in here, and while there isn’t a whole
bucket of blood, it still has a squeamish moment or two. Overall, it was a fun
ride.
Trailer is HERE
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